Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › The Stash for the Dash
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RealityBites 3 years, 5 months ago.
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Alright MGTOW pros, it has been suggested to me in a forum or two here that planning is the key to getting out as successfully as possible. In alignment with that, I thought I would start a thread to ask some basic questions or seek suggestions for ‘how to’ do it… meaning:
– What is the best way to begin to build the stockpiles you’ll need to separate and survive (cash, goods, etc.)?
My initial thought is a safety deposit box at a bank we don’t use, and putting cash in there in whatever amount I can weekly, building my funds pool. As towards everything else, my primary starting point is eliminating as much debt as possible, so that once divided, I don’t have to keep paying for things… other thoughts?
No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.
I steered away from using any bank let alone a bank that my ex and I were members of. This creates a paper trail that could be used against you if it gets discovered. I stashed cash in my locker at work. If you don’t have a locker at work, maybe a locked desk drawer at work or a locker at your gym (if you are a member). I also set up a P.O. Box on the opposite side of town to get my mail at. Once I left I didn’t want to have ANY contact with my soon to be ex. I also didn’t want her or anyone else associated with her, knowing where I was living at. A week before I left I made physical copies of our bank and credit accounts and stored those with my cash stash as well.
Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.
First steps are:
1-New email address not associated with anything of your old life.
2-Buy a cheap store cell phone with cash and pay for minutes via cash.
3-Buy a used laptop. Use the laptop for all communication you would like to keep separate.
4-Get a UPS store personal mailbox. You can use this for all legal matters.
5-Open an account at a bank you do not share with anyone for a deposit box.
6-Put all super important Titles, Deeds or other irreplaceable documents and photos in the dep box. Leave color copies at home.Never EVER leave your new cell or computer out. The woman will pounce on them trying to weasl any information she can or destroy them.
I put a program called Desktop Scout on one of my computers at home my GF used with me. I watched her spend hours trying to crack my social media accounts. Amusing until I watched her try to pull up my bank records. Then I showed it to her and told her to GTFO. Thank god we were just at the dating stage.
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning; it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
You know there really needs to be a online resource site for guys going through this.
I did a quick google search and of course most are female orientated with a spattering of male advice.
LOL be careful Business Insider actually wrote an article for wives,making them aware of the same financial maneuvers you were describing-
Those mangina bastards!
Lifes a bitch,but you don't have to marry one!
Terrence Popp’s site, http://www.rendonkulas.com , has a few videos on this topic. The Real World Divorce site I linked to in a thread of the same name contains good suggestions too, some of which would be specific to your US state, Canadian province, or nation. The websites belonging to law firms specializing in divorce will also have preparation guides.
As the others have already suggested, one key preparation is to accumulate ready cash without creating any paper trails. Many writers and bloggers suggest giving the cash you accumulate from closing bank accounts, selling off physical possessions, and/or canceling policies to a male friend or relative you can trust.
Other suggestions involve the “sale” of prized possessions like hobby cars, motorcycles, firearms, and boats for nominal sums to male friends and relative. Selling that motorcycle to your dad for a dollar means it’s going to be there for you after the dust settled from the battle.
Popp even recounts an anecdote – which I find too perfect to be true – about a man not only created and hid cash by these methods but who also crafted a plausible cover story for why that cash had disappeared. Months in advance of the divorce he knew was coming, he took to join and regularly attend both Alcoholics Anonymous and Gamblers Anonymous. When asked where all the money went, he told the court he was a blackout drunk with a serious gambling problem.
Good luck. Remember, the more you sweat in preparation, the less you’ll bleed when the fight begins.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
First off, I don’t understand trying to pay off debts. They should be split 50/50 in a divorce, so why pay both halves? The worse financial position you are in the better for the divorce.
I do agree with getting copies of everything and storing them in a safe place. If you have an attorney ready, can’t they keep them for you?
As far as the stash it concerned, that’s your choice. Personally I wouldn’t do that. Take the high road and just split the s~~~ and get out. Underhanded play is for her, I’m taking the high road. You sleep a whole lot better at night.
From a practical matter, what if you got caught? Then she’s really going to go after you. If you have one stash and she finds out, she’s going to assume you’ve got 10. There goes any money you thought you have and more in attorney fees. All to save up a few grand in a slush fund.
So there’s a contrarian look at your situation. Do with it what you will. Good luck!
Order the good wine
First develop an emergency fund of liquid assets [cash] worth about 3-4 months of salary [or engagement ring expense, depending on how brainwashed you are]. Emergencies ALWAYS come [car repair, health issue, you-name-it]. After you’ve funded the emergency fund, start thinking about a bug out set-up.
I would buy Ammo, food, and a compact water filter. Ammo will be the new currency soon.
When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.
First off, I don’t understand trying to pay off debts. They should be split 50/50 in a divorce, so why pay both halves? The worse financial position you are in the better for the divorce.
Read my Real World Divorce link if you don’t understand the advice. Nothing is split 50/50.
Women are routinely advised to run up debts prior to a divorce because the husbands will be forced to pay them. Paying down debts now means less debt to service when you’re also paying for her mortgage, her alimony, her child support, and her vacation with her new boyfriend.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
Okay, let’s be clear, am still plugged in and planning for a long term exit strategy. Need to pay off things that were joint run-ups, have already started that by closing a credit account that is in both names and making it a pay off only account, won’t accept new charges…
I don’t yet have an attorney, for the reasons mentioned above… the ‘finding’ the attorney thing would send this into skyrocket badly when I am unprepared… just thinking ahead and trying to make a plan… and hoping to gather data that can be shared with others in the same situation…
No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.
Read up on SAS “go bags.”
Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?
First off, I don’t understand trying to pay off debts. They should be split 50/50 in a divorce, so why pay both halves? The worse financial position you are in the better for the divorce.
Read my Real World Divorce link if you don’t understand the advice. Nothing is split 50/50.
Women are routinely advised to run up debts prior to a divorce because the husbands will be forced to pay them. Paying down debts now means less debt to service when you’re also paying for her mortgage, her alimony, her child support, and her vacation with her new boyfriend.
I hear what you’re saying Ol’ Bill, but I guess every divorce is different. In mine, I took on the debts and gave her a little more than half of the retirement accounts. What I got in return was alimony for 5 years, then she’s on her own.
One of my friends got divorced, same state, and they split the assets 50/50. When they sold their home, she had to make a “compensating payment” to him in order to make the split 50/50 because he took more of the debt. She wasn’t too happy when the house sold and she owed him $10k. He has to pay alimony for a much longer time, but less of his income than mine. I just wanted to get it over with so I still had 10 years or so to prepare for retirement.
If she runs up the credit card, then it becomes another item in the negotiation. But if he gets caught stashing money then the judge is going to make him pay, literally. And the debts he no longer has are not negotiable anymore because they are gone.
I guess what I’m saying is that the rules aren’t fair. No s~~~, right? But she gets to play dirty with no consequences. He doesn’t get that luxury. Let’s say she finds out about his stash and then files for a restraining order for domestic violence. That’s two strikes before he even gets in front of a judge, if it goes that far. The DV is completely made up, but she gets to play dirty with no consequences.
So I would take some of that cash and go sit down with an attorney for an hour. Make double sure you don’t do something you’ll regret later. You don’t have to hire him and can pay in cash so there’s no paper trail, but you’ll get much better advice from a professional that knows how it works in your jurisdiction than you’ll ever get from us. Maybe the local judge is getting divorce raped himself right now and suddenly understands how guys are getting screwed…. None of us knows that, but a local attorney will.
Order the good wine
I hear what you’re saying Ol’ Bill, but I guess every divorce is different.
That’s very true.
In mine… (snip of details) One of my friends got divorced, same state… (snip of details)
Same state, yet two different “settlements” because the initial conditions are different.
If she runs up the credit card, then it becomes another item in the negotiation.
An item you’re going to pay for one way or the other. You took the debt in return for an alimony cap. Your friend too the debt so she’d pay him for his share of the house. You both paid.
But if he gets caught stashing money then the judge is going to make him pay, literally.
The operative word being “caught”. Many of the lawyers interviewed at the site I linked spoke about “preparing” for a divorce one knows is coming, “code” for hiding or disbursing assets. Others didn’t even bother to speak in code, they flatly said you should stockpile cash. However, all of them advised doing so before any papers are served or even before any attorneys contacted.
You have to make it plausibly look like you were saving before you began thinking about divorce.
And the debts he no longer has are not negotiable anymore because they are gone.
Only the debts in his name or in both names are gone. Her debts will still exist as a negotiating point.
So I would take some of that cash and go sit down with an attorney for an hour. Make double sure you don’t do something you’ll regret later. You don’t have to hire him and can pay in cash so there’s no paper trail, but you’ll get much better advice from a professional that knows how it works in your jurisdiction than you’ll ever get from us.
That’s the best advice in this thread yet.
Drive a few town over or to the next county, but stay in the same state. Bring cash and buy a few hours of a lawyer’s time.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
LOL be careful Business Insider actually wrote an article for wives,making them aware of the same financial maneuvers you were describing-
Those mangina bastards!
I’ll let you know the next time I actually see a woman reading Business Insider. Until then, no need to worry.
And the debts he no longer has are not negotiable anymore because they are gone.
Only the debts in his name or in both names are gone. Her debts will still exist as a negotiating point.Let me put it this way, and this is a question for an attorney, not a statement.
Let’s say he has $10k in debt and he gets them all paid off before he files. She runs out and racks up $10k in debt on credit cards. Now he is going to have to pay some portion of those $10k. Let’s pretend he can get an even split of the assets, so he owes $5k. In that scenario, he pays of $15k of the $20k they had.
If he doesn’t pay off his debts first and she runs up $10k on the credit card, now there is $20k in debts to split. So they each get $10k in debts. He’s $5k up.
Said another way, there’s no way for him to put himself in a BETTER position by paying 100% of the debts before the divorce. That’s the worst case scenario in the divorce, and that’s break-even for strategy #1.
So, what am I missing? I would think that you want your finances to look bad before the divorce, not good. If you look good, you are the golden goose.
And thanks for the back and forth OldBill. I hope the discussion helps some men out there.
Order the good wine
So, what am I missing? I would think that you want your finances to look bad before the divorce, not good. If you look good, you are the golden goose.
What you’re missing is, that as a man, they don’t care about your finances. They don’t care about the “money flow”, about the “ins & outs”. They do care about whatever assets exist, whatever assets can be split in various ways, but they don’t care about your finances.
If you’re left with only $100 a week, they don’t care.
There are tens of thousands of men in jail right now because they never were able to pay the alimony and/or child support awarded their ex-wives and not just because they lost jobs.
And thanks for the back and forth OldBill. I hope the discussion helps some men out there.
It’s been great bouncing ideas back and forth with you too. I also hope it helps anyone reading this.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
Let’s say he has $10k in debt and he gets them all paid off before he files. She runs out and racks up $10k in debt on credit cards. Now he is going to have to pay some portion of those $10k. Let’s pretend he can get an even split of the assets, so he owes $5k. In that scenario, he pays of $15k of the $20k they had.
If he doesn’t pay off his debts first and she runs up $10k on the credit card, now there is $20k in debts to split. So they each get $10k in debts. He’s $5k up.
Said another way, there’s no way for him to put himself in a BETTER position by paying 100% of the debts before the divorce. That’s the worst case scenario in the divorce, and that’s break-even for strategy #1.
So, what am I missing? I would think that you want your finances to look bad before the divorce, not good. If you look good, you are the golden goose.
And thanks for the back and forth OldBill. I hope the discussion helps some men out there.
I agree with Taxguy here, and I’m also an accountant. Here’s another thing about the debt situation, at least in California. Say the debt is associated with a tangible asset, such as a car. Let’s say the wife’s car is paid off, and your car has a $20,000 note. Did you f~~~ing know they will not assign the debt equally to wife for such debts on assets (the $10,000)? The pussy pass is in full affect. I just talked with four previously divorced guys I game with on Saturday. His own attorney was actually irritated with him for questioning why it wasn’t split and said, “This is just the way it is in California. Don’t try to fight it.”
Stash cash and put the money to pay down debt into paying for the best possible divorce settlement agreement you can f~~~ing get.
Chir makes very valid points about computer security.
Wimmenz hate not ‘knowing’ stuff about us, this is especially true about our online activities.
After three years apart my former wife is STILL trying to get into my online affairs.
When we were together, she took great pride in knowing passwords.
How she did that, I don’t know.
Your online queries and searches, forums etc should be done on a computer that is left at work or in some other secure location.
I guarantee you she senses ‘something’ is up and is determined to discover what exactly is going down …...And in our own despair, against our will, Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Agamemnon; by Aeschylus
Listen up and listen well. You need to start an anonymous corporation. Open a bank account under that corporation and start stashing money inside of it. Do it long term. Any new purchase you make like a car, buy it under the corporation and don’t let your wife know that you own the car. If possible, “rent” the car from the corporation. That is one way you can put money in corporation’s bank account without suspicion.
If you want to really be sneaky, then make the anonymous corporation a law firm and pay them out the ass. That way it looks like you’ve been trying to get legal advice for a long time to break it off with her. And anything you pay them you don’t have to give to your ex. Just make sure you pay the taxes of the corporation. Corporations have a much lower tax rate. You’ll probably pay 15% or less. MUCH better than having the wife steal 80%.
Just make sure you pay the damned taxes. Otherwise you might get an audit, and seeing as you’re the only owner of the corporation, you’ll have to either answer the audit (thereby revealing your identity), or accept whatever the IRS says you owe (which is ALWAYS more than what you really owe).
You want to consult a lawyer before doing all this. A REAL lawyer. Someone that specializes in asset protection. This is what wealthy people do. If you ever run the registration on a car or look up the property records of a house owned by a wealthy person, it always belongs to some anonymous corporation. There’s a reason for that. My house isn’t registered under my name, therefore it can NEVER be stolen from me in a lawsuit or by the government. Same with my car.
Again, this is NOT a way to avoid paying taxes. It will take quite a bit of work, but the IRS will be able to eventually find out who owns the corporation, or bankrupt the corporation. Whichever they prefer. Pay your taxes and they won’t f~~~ with you.
I don’t yet have an attorney, for the reasons mentioned above… the ‘finding’ the attorney thing would send this into skyrocket badly when I am unprepared
See as many top notch attorneys as you can, that way she cant use them. then you can go back to one and put them on retainer.
Take a look at the “free consultation” lawyers, if you have to pay, throwing a couple hundred to a couple grand to lawyers now for “consultations”. It will save you hundreds of thousands later.
If you are thinking about divorce, odds are she is well ahead of you.There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it
Buy a plane ticket to Vegas, and book a room at a hotel.
Clean out your savings or rather make large withdraws and periodic trips so there is a “History” of Gambling.
Take the money and hide. Banks require identification and leave a paper trail.
I strongly recommend hiding money in plain sight, maybe stuffed in cardboard boxes in the crawl space, somewhere that NOBODY knows about.Wifey gets mad over the many trips to Vegas…files for divorce citing a gambling problem.
It also helps if you “lose” your job, maybe insult your boss, p~~~ in his coffee cup or something so that you get fired or even pay him cash to fire you but will still give you good references when you need it, let the house get foreclosed on.
Just build a paper trail of financial destruction; but squirrel away money.
Drain your retirement accounts, go to Vegas, rinse and repeat. Claim financial hardship and pay the penalty.Seriously don’t gamble: just have documented trips to Vegas and large cash withdraws.
Copy every single financial record.
Take Unemployment; work crappy minimum wage jobs, build up a history that you are “looking for a good job but can’t find any”.Revenge stuff: Take all of your wife’s jewelry; everything down to the pawn shop. Sell everything she has; make another BS trip to Vegas.
Get empty Alcohol bottles and leave them around the house, then after a while enroll in Alcoholics Anonymous (document that you joined)
The “gambling addiction” and the “alcohol addiction” and excuses for ‘age discrimination’ all help build a case history that you have been chronically unemployable. (meanwhile work under the table for cash).
Sue the wife for Alimony, half of her retirement/social security. EVERYTHING. Get a RESTRAINING ORDER filed against her. Just say that she is violent and has been making threats.
As for your stuff…sell it at a pawn shop before “going to Vegas” again. Make sure you keep ALL RECEIPTS.
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