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Tagged: MGTOW mindset, Red Pill Reality
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… 4 years, 12 months ago.
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Hi everyone, I am a newly converted Red Pill realist. Reality is hard to take in, a bitter pill indeed, as I look back I find it is the idealized relationship of a fantasy woman that I miss the most, not so much as any of the real nagging pesky women that I used to put up with. I don’t want any of my ex’s back, I am just realizing that I’m craving for a fantasy woman that doesn’t exist, and slowly coming to terms with that, and adjusting my expectations, and strategy on how to live life accordingly. How can I have been so deluded? I have always been a stubborn man that never fully conformed, but now I see that even I caved in too much into a “deal” that was never in my interest.
I mean who wants to enter a contract where you get what you want some of the time when and if its allowed by the counter party for their total and ever increasing needs being met all the time, until they decide to end it and take all whenever they please? I see the MGTOW movement as freedom from conforming to a gynocentric ideology, by lifting the veil of feminist deceit and seeing the real world as it is, and then (this is the hard bit where I’m at) trying to adjust.
Although its a year from my divorce, its just a month from my real red pill eye opening revelation. I can see that now, I have a lot more opportunity, to focus on the most important thing, yes, myself, my future, potential, happiness and self actualization. I laugh at the neediness and clinginess of women now, I am amazed at the number of “soul mates” I have found, which if they didn’t inform me I’d never have known.
I am free to concentrate on building up my career and future prospects without any interference from anyone. Any time I feel lonely, I just remember the hard stressful times I went through and think of the freedom I have now and loneliness is really just boredom dressed up in fantasy, as soon as I get myself going on a goal toward conquering another milestone, then I don’t have time to be “lonely”or bored.
Remember in order to be disillusioned, you need have an illusion in the first place. That Red Pill destroyed my illusions, and now its time to build a new strategy based on self interest in reality. That’s what I see MGTOW as, freedom to put myself first in a world that will do anything to stop me.
When the war cemeteries are half full of the corpses of dead conscripted women, only then will women have earned the right to speak of equality. Sidecar “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” - Bob Dylan
That’s what I see MGTOW as, freedom to put myself first in a world that will do anything to stop me.
Excellent bottom line. Welcome AFT.
Another intelligent man has seen the light and revived his inner glory! Welcome brother!
Lust for comfort suffocates the soul
@aft Welcome to MGTOW! Not 20 minutes ago I was clicking on something and ended up at website called “Authentic PUA” (pick up artist), and an article about MGTOW (dot com specifically). I was composing a reply to leave as a comment, but I didn’t finish. I saw your intro first.
as I look back I find it is the idealized relationship of a fantasy woman that I miss the most…… I am just realizing that I’m craving for a fantasy woman that doesn’t exist, and slowly coming to terms with that, and adjusting my expectations, and strategy on how to live life accordingly. How can I have been so deluded?
And coincidentally, his article is entitled “The Rise of MGTOW and Why I Still Need Women”:
…. so you can congratulate yourself for already knowing what he doesn’t. I enjoyed his criticisms and if you’re interested in my deconstruction of his article, perhaps I will post it here (if you like) because I think it would be worth more here than over there.
This sentence caught my eye…
“but on a deeper level I have a deep yearning need to GIVE of myself to a woman. To cherish and protect her. To have her look up to me.”
We can all see through that and how it’s bad / unrealistic for him to think that way.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Couldn’t have said it better myself AFT. My wife (soon to be ex) will move out in 1 weeks time. Gone forever, leaving me free to live my life as I want. I have been in this exact situation before, her bags packed and flight home booked, but I caved at the last minute, convincing myself she was the fantasy woman in my mind, not the nagging, pesky woman dusturbing my reality. I will revisit this post daily until she is gone.
This post and the reality of beautiful women…
Thank you all for the warm welcome.
I am glad that Total Lee found my bottom line valid, and VileNord pointed out that is all about “inner game”.
I looked that article up KeyMaster, and found myself ROFLMAO, I mean, “You make me want to be a better man” it’s all in her frame, needy Fem-approval, and what is being a better man all about? – as you quoted “To cherish and protect her. To have her look up to me.” So his value of himself as a better man should be the Fem – approval of what she wants him to be, Huh, I prefer to value myself in terms of my success in seeking my own imperative. Basically I want to live well, and be happy, successful, but most importantly “IN CONTROL” any woman that recognizes that and wants to please me is welcome. Otherwise I don’t need to pass a bunch of s~~~ tests to get to become someone else’s tool for their Hypergamy.
As I stated I am trying to adjust, by putting myself first and developing a strategy to cope with my new red pill reality. Part of the process is better understanding this reality and so, I have been busily reading “The Rational Male”. As I am new in this process, I don’t profess to be an expert, just a very motivated convert. Rollo Tomassi, take a swipe at MGTOW, as men running away, for me it’s about unplugging, finding myself, and resetting my social construct to a more positive enabling masculine framed self image. I too cannot live completely without women, as Rollo points out my 12-17 times level of testosterone, gives me very definite urges and needs. So I’m taking time out, constructing my positive masculine self image, and I know I’ll be better prepared for the Fem Centered world and dealing with women and the feminist environment.
Yes Rastamon, if you are anything like me, it is important to remember that there is nothing wrong with being with beautiful women, just never let any woman dictate the frame, doesn’t matter how beautiful, we are responsible for our lives, so we need to put our imperatives first. To me that is what being “a better man” is all about, putting yourself first and focusing on your own interest.
T
When the war cemeteries are half full of the corpses of dead conscripted women, only then will women have earned the right to speak of equality. Sidecar “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” - Bob Dylan
“but on a deeper level I have a deep yearning need to GIVE of myself to a woman. To cherish and protect her. To have her look up to me.”
He hasn’t figured out yet how dangerous that sentence is.
We all know what he means. Truly. However it doesn’t work, and like it or not, he WILL eventually be forced to rethink it.
That sentence is an illusion. His strong emphasis on the word “GIVE himself” virtually guarantees she will not “look up to” him for it. It’s the first best way to be resented.
Admiration from a female does not come from pulling off your jacket and laying it down over a puddle so she can scamper over it to protect her shoes. She will only look DOWN on you for that. Nice for her, because it communicates that she is “superior” but that doesn’t get a man admired – and it’s bad for him.
You don’t even need to be a genius to understand that. Consider the way a woman giggles when you kneel to hold up a diamond to “ask for permission to love her”. That is the ultimate sign of weakness (the act of lowering yourself) and again – she is quite literally looking DOWN at you AS you are doing it.
Imagine a wedding photo where the groom is on his knees clasping her hand and gazing up at her. Now imagine a wedding photo where you are standing and she is also standing next to you. A BIG important difference. One is admiration and a partnership…. the other is “aw how cute, look what I can make him do”.
Cherish, OK. Protect, no.
What can a man “protect” a woman from that he himself won’t need protection from? A tornado? An atom bomb? A car accident? Implying a woman needs protection is actually a statement that you believe she is inferior and cannot protect herSELF.
So now anyone can see how – on one hand – treating her like she is SUPERIOR won’t work…… if you also think of her as INFERIOR in the same sentence. And that’s what I meant when I said he will eventually be forced to rethink it.
AND PS!…. I stumbled on Rollo some time ago and it was the first time I learned of the word “hypergamy”.
It was our inspiration for /video/hypergamy-doesnt-care/If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.“That sentence is an illusion. His strong emphasis on the word “GIVE himself” virtually guarantees she will not “look up to” him for it. It’s the first best way to be resented.”
I remember a quote from a movie “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” it went something like “it’s hard to respect someone that’s kissing your arse”.
I looked up that /video/hypergamy-doesnt-care/ link, and it mentions forgiving her youthful indiscretions.
“It was for this guy, as he came home one day to find a video (which she kept since college) of his own wife sucking every alpha dick she could wrap her lips around, while getting glazed like a donut.”
Perhaps it’s when they are on that carousel that’s when they learn that looking up to men, means they get glazed. Perhaps he needs to learn that its only the women that he glazes that are looking up to him. Either way whoever controls the frame dictates the game, you’re either glazing her like a donut, or she’s preparing you to really get f***ed over.
When the war cemeteries are half full of the corpses of dead conscripted women, only then will women have earned the right to speak of equality. Sidecar “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” - Bob Dylan
There is no denying you can probably arrive at a mutual arrangement with a woman where if she’s your personal slut in the bedroom, you will be willing to “lower” yourself OUTSIDE the bedroom. This kind of understanding can be enjoyable for both. I’ve been there myself, but it’s still dangerous, because of the struggle of “power” which will always exist.
Eventually either HE will either display “too much beta” for her to remain turned on….
Or she could cause him to lose an erection because she asked for a 3-way anal session with his best friend.A perfect balance is REALLY tough…. but not perhaps not impossible to maintain.
In any case, if he were to find such a perfect balance it would almost certainly be temporary.That’s about as much rope as I can give him, but it’s still unbecoming from someone who markets themselves as an “authentic PUA”.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Hello Comrades, it has bee 2 months now, and I’m really feeling the pain of having my eyes opened to reality. Sometimes I wish I could go back to being a blue pill chump.
I find it hard to motivate myself, it’s like my whole world is blown to smithereens, I find it hard to concentrate at work, I am feeling lonely and isolated at home, the red pill is f~~~ing with my sanity. Its like I’m mourning the blue pill me, realizing that I can’t have the fantasy delusion I wanted.
F~~~, how long is this going to last? How long will it take to rid myself of these feelings? I need to move to a positive frame of mind, are there any tips on how to improve my mindset?
When the war cemeteries are half full of the corpses of dead conscripted women, only then will women have earned the right to speak of equality. Sidecar “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” - Bob Dylan
AFT: i wish i could say it isn’t still a battle for me but some days it is. first thing is to pull your focus together and excel at work. that is what i had to do after swallowing the biggest red pill of my life this past christmas day. SNAP OUT OF THE FUNK. second, a lot of mgtow date, get laid, have relationships and are happy guys. to me the primary thing i learned is that i always keep some of my heart to myself now and i carefully watch women for the signs of them f~~~ing up. you can have a great week, great month, or even a few great months with a woman. just pay attention when she starts to go left on you. truth can be a mutherf~~~er. it takes time to process. hope this helps man.
Thank you Listenup,
That really is good advice, may as well focus on my work, then at least that area of my life can be productive and positive.
Sorry to hear about your Christmas day, Red Pill, stay strong man, and thanks.
When the war cemeteries are half full of the corpses of dead conscripted women, only then will women have earned the right to speak of equality. Sidecar “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” - Bob Dylan
@aft – Welcome.
The red pill is necessary but it does show us the ugly, unvarnished, crappy, true view that we have been missing for years (being former ‘blue-pillers’).
The red pill is the epiphany, wake-up call and smelling salts that is necessary so that we can grow, heal and move forward. I have been divorced for a very long time, never dated (my choice) and have had few intimate encounters with women. It is lonely and sometimes rough but that is why we can lean on MGTOW brethren, friends and family.
If you are like me, sometimes I think- ‘If I could just find THE ONE and move on. Everything will be OK again.’ Well, I can tell you from what I have seen out there, it is a desolate landscape indeed (where ‘good’ women are concerned). What drives them is money, materialistic crap, programming a
male slave, er…manservant…er future husband so he will beg, roll over, fetch and go away when commanded.Am I gettin’ ya down friend? That is the red pill pumping through my veins. I won’t lie – some days you can be in a ‘funk’. But most days – at least for me – are friggin’ awesome.
It is said that freedom isn’t free (with reference and respect to our brothers and sisters in arms – of course). Well, THIS freedom (life as MGTOW) IS FREE – at least I think so.
Take Care AFT.
"I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!"
~ Theodore RooseveltAFT,
I don’t have time or typing skills enough to go into all the details, but my story is not so different from yours. It’s just about 12 years older. I’ll offer you what I learned along my path and you’re welcome to it if it helps.As I read your story, I see that you’ve written about 2 people…you and your ex. But there are actually 3 people in the story. There is you, your ex, and a third person who is a woman that exists only in your head. The third looks identical to the ex, and for a while it may have seemed that they were the same person. But they aren’t.
The third is worthy of all the sacrifices and effort and time and energy you were willing to give for her benefit, and to meet her needs. The third would have reciprocated accordingly…if she had been your ex. But she isn’t your ex. Keep reminding yourself of that when/if you get tempted to take her back. A hundred years ago, it might have been much easier to find a real life woman who could be the person in your head. Today, for a variety of different reasons (none of which are attributable to you or to flaws in you), those women are no longer to be found.
Your ex is not worthy of any of that and will not reciprocate equitably for your benefit, or to equitably meet your needs.
Believing that those two people were the same person, it is a significant loss to learn that they are not. You are losing that woman in your head, who really was worth something. She was worth keeping. For your ex: good riddance and the sooner the better. But for the woman in your head, there is a need for a sort of funeral now. You’ve lost someone just as though they had died.
Psychologists explain that the normal reaction to a loss is a series of denial, bargaining, frustration/anger, and ultimately acceptance. It is usually, but not necessarily in that order. The lines between each can be blurry, and the procession is not necessarily continuous, or in the same direction all the time. Basically, your head will be scrambled for a while, but if you read about this process, you can identify the stages as you move through them and see yourself progressing past this. The bargaining stage is the most dangerous one because that is the one wherein the ex will have the easiest time convincing you that she is that woman in your head so you can take her back and start over again…
But eventually, you will see for yourself that life goes on and can be ok without the person in your head that you lost. Although most here would consider it unlikely that you will find someone with as much value as the woman in your head, you may find one occasionally who has something worthwhile…bits and pieces mostly, to offer. Maybe an incidental date or sex here and there, even a relationship occasionally…just never anyone worth devoting your whole life including all your assets, energy, time and effort etc to…
Aside from that, there are LOTS of other things that ARE worthy of all that effort and time and sacrifice…mostly having to do with you and your interests and what makes life better for you. With the amount of time and energy freed up by escaping an inequitable relationship like the one you just got out of, men have achieved copywrites, patents, written books, learned new languages, achieved promotions and other professional goals, hobbies, travel… all kinds of things that are much more worthy of the effort and sacrifice…and much more like to equitably return something of value to you.
Your head won’t be scrambled like this for long, and when you have passed through it, you wont be returning to this part of your life again.
Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you
Welcome to the real world AFT – nice to meet you.
Thank you brothers, it is reassuring to know you are all out there and understand. The epiphany unencumbered talks of I have experienced, I like to think I’ve grown and still am growing, the healing is a slow process and moving forward is hopefully not too far away.
I recognize that third person, fantasy woman, BrainPilot, even mentioned her in my intro. Unfortunately I need to put her to rest, you’re right, very perceptive, I need to let fantasy woman go RIP, and never confuse fantasy with reality.
Part of moving forward is, I guess navigating through the reality of women, and dealing with my urges. Perhaps there is a fourth person, we haven’t mentioned; white knight mangina me, and that’s what’s really holding me back. I need to knock mangina me the f~~~ out and become Alpha me.
The challenge is undoing 40 odd years of blue pill programming, and reprogram myself to succeed in red pill reality.When the war cemeteries are half full of the corpses of dead conscripted women, only then will women have earned the right to speak of equality. Sidecar “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” - Bob Dylan
Cheers ListenUp,
I suppose I’ve been focusing too heavily on the emptiness of not having a partner, and being lonely, when in fact there is no such partner that exists that I would really be happy with. This is the real test, how I live on my own with myself.
That was very relevant, Sandman hit the nail on the head, these forums are a life saver literally, you guys know exactly what I’m going through and what helps. I hope to find a challenge to channel all my energy into, I suppose start small, improve my home and focus on work, then set bigger challenges as I go, start my own business, who knows.
And yeah, take any female company as it comes, not stress, focus on a new life filled with my interests.
When the war cemeteries are half full of the corpses of dead conscripted women, only then will women have earned the right to speak of equality. Sidecar “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” - Bob Dylan
Given that I’ve spent the better part of my life outside of any sort of committed relationship, making the jump from “single and hoping to find Miss Right” to “bachelor and MGHOW” hasn’t been all that hard for me.
Yes, there are times when I miss the feeling that somewhere there was a “Trixie” out there for me (Speed Racer reference… solid, dependable female who believes in and supports my vision and values) but the feeling passes quickly when I remember I have everything else I could have ever wanted, including my freedom, and that Miss Wrong could take all that away from me.
Even at 46 and after most of a lifetime of doing my own thing on my own terms, that fantasy still has some power but not nearly enough to drive me to risk everything else I’ve worked for and earned on what I know to be a very bad gamble.
AFT: just coming back online to check in. man, i am truly thrilled to see your post. you’re most sincerely welcome. KeyMaster (creator of this place) will I’m sure be thrilled as well to see your words.
After being on this planet for more than 50 years and wondering wtf does it mean for most of it and being harassed by family friends and colleagues for staying single, i must say the only things that have meaning for me through my life are my creative endeavors. instead of looking all over the place in panic about what to fill that empty spaces inside with I chose confidence and the developments of my talents over all. Sure, i’ve been in a lot of relations~~~s and boned a lot of groupies while on tours but the end result of all that was temporary and investing in my self is permanently long lasting and worth the time.
Over the years, here are some of the things I have tried in earnest or dabbled in 01 christianity 02 buddhism 03 sports 04 martial arts (i really sucked at that one) 05 scientology 06 E.S.T. (erhard seminars training) 07 music (my favorite) 08 audio engineering 09 sound design 10 public speaking 11 stand up comedy 12 Seminary 13 hiking in the mountains while on mushrooms 14 isolation tank drug therapy 15 numerology 16 alcoholics anonymous 17 non-profit work 18 therapy with girlfriends 19 seances 20 Tony Robbins s~~~ 21 soundman 22 teacher.
Having done all that didn’t bring lasting happiness to me. Not sure if there is such a thing. however i did learn that every single time i invested in myself with my time and money and brains, i reached a new higher level of expertise in a field. i had money to do cool s~~~. i felt more confident. i brought more skills into every workplace and left them better off than they were before. i’m a huge fan of the mgtow icons who have invented and brought complete change to the world instead of choosing to be bossed around by an ungrateful c~~~ who didn’t give a f~~~ about me anyway.
During the past 10 years it started to become very dangerous to publicly express opinions without suffering unfair consequences. my close friends of like mind and I all became understandably protective of our assets and quietly have been getting together just like people did in communist russia back in the day to actually speak truth without getting shot or imprisoned. today’s social climate is extremely dangerous to men and the internet is one of the only places where men can speak their minds. on my red pill christmas i mentioned earlier i found myself alone and wondering about what was next just like you were. i went online and started reading and watching videos and ended up here. i fit in here instantly. the s~~~ i had been thinking since high school was backed up by a group of smart hilarious mutherf~~~ers who were telling stories and they made sense to me.
I’ve made some good friends here and p~~~ed off some people just like in real life. Tonight I’m here with a large ice coffee looking sharp with a smile on my face excited about tonight’s job i’m doing and looking forward to tomorrow which will be even better. i’m not a mgtow crusader, i don’t work for KeyMaster, and above all, i do not give a f~~~ hahahaha. what happens in the next 20 years is going to be interesting to watch and i’ll be doing that from as far a distance as possible. good luck man! glad i was able to help you out!
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