The Rarity of Good Quality Friends

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

To me its not merely male/female relationships that have suffered in recent times. Even finding good quality male friends is rare these days. When it comes to male friends, I error on the side of being understanding, over looking fualts and generally being a good dude. Pretty easy going. I have a select handful of truly trust worthy friends who stick with me through thick and thin.

But I get sick of the douchebag guys who literally make their presence unenjoyable to be around. The type of guy that acts more like a bitch than a man. Asserting everytime they think they are right and you are wrong. Im capable of having friends of different political or religious views, yet I recognize its simply pointless to bring up topics we arent going to agree upon, and they want to bring them up ad infinitum. Were not talking about college aged kids here who are forming opinions, rather grown men who have formed opinions.

This is a bit of a rant. Ive simply noticed those who are capable of true friendship and who arent looking to be right at all costs and expenses of others is becoming few and far between.

Do many of you (past their 20s) notice this trend? What happened to dudes just being dudes? I equate douche bag guys with bitches- so emotional and have so much to prove with nothing to offer.

The cost isnt worth the effort. Id rather have three true friends than ten idiot, narcisistic douche baggery fake ones.

Resident cynic.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Count good true friends on the fingers of one hand. If you can do that you are truly blessed.

Unfortunately I cannot but have 3 I can add.

As for the normal Jo’s …. I can take them if they’re pleasant … and leave if not.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

<blockquoteAs for the normal Jo’s …. I can take them if they’re pleasant … and leave if not.

This is what is amazing to me: individuals who LITERALLY make their presence unenjoyable for those around them.

Its as though the FRACTIONAL gain tjey receive from putting everyone around them down is worth the TREMENDOUS cost of having no true friends. Its unreal.

I have some true friends. Im just considering some who are more of a cost than a benefit. I just cannot comprehend what is going through the latters mind. They have no real friends, yet they THEMSELVES imposed the problems. Its insane to me. I used to feel pitty/sorry for them, but its no longer worth it.

It doesnt take much effort to be enjoyable to be around. So bizzare.

Resident cynic.

[FullMetalExoParticipant 2383]

Ancientwisdom wrote:

It doesnt take much effort to be enjoyable to be around.

yep, I agree. I got like 2 best friends and 2 more friends I hang around with. So it’s 4 people.
Was always like that since childhood so Im used to quality over quantity.

-----------

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

<blockquoteWas always like that since childhood so Im used to quality over quantity.

Always been the same way myself. I recently told one of my good friends about the bad. He commented that the poor friend obviously didnt care about the negative response he got from those around him. I believe that to be true and it amazed me. I always tend to give friends the benefit of the doubt. When it comes to girls or money thats a different story; but I need to start applying those harsher judgements upon male friends now it seems.

Thanks for the input.

Resident cynic.

[clint englandParticipant 341]

I must admit in my time, i would say i have had 1 maybe 2 true friends at the most. I’m talking about a buddy i could and did trust with anything: my money, anything.

He was a true real life gem who didn’t realize it. Devastatingly he took his own life when we were just 23. He like me didn’t find being young particularly easy.

Being young myself and full of my own issues of wanting to fit in, meet girls and be the man, i didn’t realize the extent of his problems.

I truly believe that if the internet and knowledge us guys are privileged to now was exposed to him, he’d still be here. It’s quite ironic we discuss true friendship here now as in the uk last week on TV there was a show about past hit shows on a saturday night. There was one show gladiators that bought back alot of teen going into adulthood memories from that time that made me pretty sad.

Time has flown since then and i wouldn’t want to go back but i would have with the knowledge we have for my one true friend and give him the proof that none of the bulls~~~ we engross ourselves in as young men matters.

Although i’ll probably never meet many of you guys here, i relate real well to our shared experiences and life stories. It can feel lonely knowing what we do but the sanctuary this forum offers is awesome. Thanks keymaster and co.

Sorry i rambled a bit but i put relationships with non family into 2 categories: Mates: drinking buddies you can talk s~~~ with, laugh with but not trust 100% because that’s just life. Friends: you’ll meet 1 maybe 2-3 max over a lifetime. Cherish them, i let mine down but i’m grateful i knew him. Rip James my friend. I’ll never forget you!. Cheers boys.

[Puffin StuffParticipant 24979]

I think it’s exposure to and learned reaction to our matriarchal culture that pits man versus man. History tells us it didn’t used to be that way. Maybe in ISIS the men stick together and that’s the allure.

I can only count on man and that’s my brother and only most of the time.

In our culture men are not allowed the freedom of association, a basic constitutional right, any more answers needed?

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

Sorry i rambled a bit but i put relationships…

No apologies needed. This was precisely the type of authentic reaponse I wanted.

Thank you. And Im sorry about your friend.

PS- the quote feature isnt working too well for me on my cell. You get the drift.

Resident cynic.

[clint englandParticipant 341]

Ancientwisdom wrote:

Sorry i rambled a bit but i put relationships…

No apologies needed. This was precisely the type of authentic reaponse I wanted.

Thank you. And Im sorry about your friend.

PS- the quote feature isnt working too well for me on my cell. You get the drift.

Thanks mate. All the best to you.

[RebalancedParticipant 346]

If you find they are bitch like over small things then they will only be worse over bigger things so I would cut them loose or at least distance yourself from them. I’ve been stung too many times by being too accommodating of such people in the past to think any different now.

I don't need pussy

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

I found this video on the breakdown of human relationships related to the Internet interesting, and connected to this thread somehow:

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[kizellParticipant 368]

The friends I have that annoy me are the ones that remind me most of women.

[RoyDalParticipant]

“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.”
— Vito Corleone (https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_Godfather_Part_II)

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Anonymous 29]

Ancientwisdom wrote:

Do many of you (past their 20s) notice this trend? What happened to dudes just being dudes?

Well I’m way past 20’s something (59) and I got me 7 top mate’s (friends) and a s~~~ load of acquaintances. Our friendships were formed in the 1970’s decade and remained strong to this day. It was a different time and formation of friendships among men was different because of that. Cultural , moral, ethical, social and work and performance pressures were different.

Woman and society in general have created a dog eat dog mentality for the younger guys up to say 35 years of age and that makes it harder to gauge forming a good friendship among men. Younger guys should look to form good friendships with older guys, simply because they tend to be a bit more stable and have life experience and to take more time getting to know guys of same age who may be more suitable for for a good mate.
This may sound simplistic but it does work IMHO.

[MyselfParticipant 353]

In my life I have only had a handful of true friends. I have found that they/we tend to part ways eventually, but that might have to do with my age – a friend at 18 is a totally different man at 28 or 38. Maybe things will stabilize a bit as I enter my 40’s.

One thing that has been tough for me is how careers pull people into different directions. Most of my best friends had to move for work over time. It’s nice knowing great people in different cities but I don’t travel extensively. A lot of my friendships are maintained via text and Skype, which sucks.

Some of my best friends are about 20 years older than me. I met them when I worked construction years ago. We don’t hang out much but go fishing a few times a year. I totally get @ancientwisdom‘s point about douchbag guys, particularly my age and younger. With my fishing buddies we can hop in the truck at 4 AM, grab a coffee for the road, arrive at the river for the break of dawn, and fish for a day. We haven’t seen each other in months, and we hardly say a word the entire time. We can just enjoy each others company and the experience of being on the water. We’ll start to gab at the end of the day around good food and beers. Hanging around guys like that is one of the best things life has to offer.

[Author]

Posts