The Marriage License (Contract) w/ Disclaimers

[FunInTheSunParticipant 8286]

If marriage licenses (contracts) were honest, they would include these disclaimers to warn men:

1. The past performances of your girlfriend does not guarantee future performances of your wife.

2. A prenuptial agreement may or may not be enforced by a divorce court.

3. If the bride breaks her promise to be loving and faithful, and all other promises stated during the wedding ceremony, the groom still has to pay for her expenses. If the bride and groom get a divorce, there is a 90% possibility that the groom will either pay a settlement (cash/property) or alimony for ANY length of time stated in the divorce decree.

4. The groom must pay for all biological and non-biological children shared with the bride until they become independent adults—whether he likes it or not.

(Add your disclaimer here:)

5. ____________________________________

"I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.’" (Atlas Shrugged)

[GrumpyParticipant]

5. All conditions are null and void based solely on her “feelings” at any particular moment.

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[Anonymous 6]

Contract subject to termination for any means necessary

[joetechParticipant]

6: This woman will take you (to the cleaners) to have and to hold and to batter and pillage till death while she rides the c~~~ carousel with Chad.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[Anonymous 5]

7. The universally accepted premise “Women have the right to change their mind at any time, for any reason” applies to all clauses in the contract.

Smil,e and ask any woman anywhere, at any time, if this premise is true.
Just watch every one of them giggle and agree.

[Author]

Posts