The Man Cave

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

I wrote this in my journal back in 2012… would maybe change a few things about my (at that time) acceptance of marriage but am posting it here in the original. Hope someone can get something out of it.

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The Man Cave

An article was posted to the San Francisco Gate website recently with photos of expensive homes for sale featuring “High-End Man Caves” equipped with big-screen TVs, bar counters, pool tables and even parking spaces for fancy cars and a swimming pool with an enclosed slide. They looked like the kind of rooms that tasteful, wealthy men would set up for fun and comfort. We’re not talking about dank, tobacco and beer stained hovels with ratty little beanbag chairs and posters of naked women… most of the “caves” looked more like designer showrooms inspired by Tony Stark’s garage / workspace in the Iron Man movies than the fear soaked basement of a fraternity house.

The commentary ranged from “Men are Stupid” to “Who puts glass tables in a man cave?”. Basically there was no question of the underlying concept. My response was as follows:

The whole notion of the “Man Cave” is abhorrent. This world has become a woman’s world where women’s values and interests are lauded and men’s values and interests are demeaned… and men are to blame for letting it happen to them.

Are men and men’s things really viewed as being so animalistic that they have to be kept in a “cave”? You try doing a story like this about women’s shoe closets or scrapbooking rooms or girl gab tea shops and watch the fire rain down.

Fellas, it’s time to stand up, dust yourselves off and say to the women in your lives “If you don’t respect my interests, my style and my belongings, then you don’t respect me. This house is (at least) half mine and I will not be treated like the things I care about are subhuman.” And if she disagrees, get rid of her. If the price of your self respect is half of your stuff, then so be it.

That pretty much says it all, as far as I am concerned. Of course, it was removed within twenty minutes for violating the site’s “Terms and Conditions”. Oh well, can’t expect everyone to be ready for the message.

The burning question here: How have men let themselves become so poorly regarded by the women in their lives who (supposedly) love them and chose them above all others to spend their lives with? This topic always seems to come up around Superbowl Sunday right along with that bulls~~~ myth about the uptick in domestic violence that’s supposedly caused by the dangerous combination of NFL Football, Doritos and Pepsi. If there is an uptick in violence, I hope it’s caused by a few men’s spines solidifying enough to tell their bitch wives that TODAY of ALL DAYS is NOT the day to stand in front of the television and yell at me about taking out the garbage.

A quick aside… any woman who hasn’t completely fooled herself into believing that she actually likes football and who still has a shred of self respect should be as far away from the living room of the home on Superbowl Sunday as is possible given her transportation options and budgetary constraints. Hawaii would be a good idea. No guy is going to give you flak for going to visit your mother in Toledo that weekend so if you’re still reading this, stop right now and go start the car.

Right, so back to man things… I’m not the first to say this, not by a long shot. Bill Maher and Tim Allen leap to mind, though Bill is a bit on the fey side and Tim has totally sold out with his new show “Last Man Standing” which makes him look like a bigger pussy than Homer Simpson and Ray Romano combined. And that’s an accomplishment. But at least the words are out there… men have not only lost their way in the world as a result of the rise of feminism, doubled by the more recent “power slut” movement of women trying to outdo men by being bigger pigs than the worst men they can find, but they’ve let women push them around and s~~~ on them and relegate everything they are to tiny room named after the place where animals sleep in their own garbage and s~~~… and the men feel lucky to have that!

The concept of the Man Cave first came to my attention while watching the movie “The Incredibles”. The thrust of that movie (if you could call it a thrust) was not super humans being forced to act normal or even normal people with skills and abilities having to dumb themselves down and share the glory with regular people so that nobody’s feelings will get hurt (“If everyone is special, then nobody is!”). No, the underlying message of this movie was men being stripped of their role in society and becoming pack mules for the woman agenda of maintaining the respect of the community, keeping a tidy home and raising good children.

In the movie, Bob Parr (how’s that for a spineless man’s name) is sad and beaten, no longer able to use his unique abilities to contribute to society (so what if he often made more of a mess than he fixed, he was human and he was trying, at least) and his entire being is relegated to this tiny room where he can sit in the dark and look at the trophies, clippings, awards and (literal) shell of the man that he used to be. And even this space is not sacred to him… the merest sliver of an excuse to intrude (bumping the door open with a vacuum cleaner) allows his wife to catch him trying to once again make something of himself.

Does it matter that Mr. Incredible was right, albeit accidentally, about the world needing his capabilities again? No. Is it ironic that the embodiment of his failure to be himself, that which is actively trying to destroy him, is named Syndrome? Not really. Did anyone take home the moral of the story which is that you can be a man AND have a family? That, in fact, you really don’t have a family UNTIL YOU BECOME A MAN AGAIN? Almost certainly not.

And what happened when Bob Parr reasserted his inner Mr. Incredible? Did he have an affair? No, though he was wrongfully suspected of it by his wife who DID call in a favor from an “old flame”. Did he blow the family budget on fancy cars and clothes? No, he increased the budget, spent it on cars and clothes and rekindled his own marriage by doing it! Did he lose the respect of his community? No, he saved it from almost certain annihilation and impressed young and old alike while doing so. Did he divide and destroy his family? No and no… he showed them all, each and every last one of them, how to be the best they could be AND to combine their unique strengths to support, love and care for each other. Well, all of them except for the baby who figured his s~~~ out on his own as babies are want to do. He even turned the heart of the cold government bureaucracy that had suppressed and covered him up all those years.

He went from loser to Leader. He became a man.

Gentlemen, I am talking to you. Douchebags and White Knights, you’ve got some work to do before you’re ready for this but you can stay and listen anyway. Gentlemen, it’s time to put an end to this demonization of the man. It’s time for us to regain that power and responsibility which is rightfully ours and, at the same time, to balance it with the powers and responsibilities of women. They’ve had the tables turned on us for long enough.

If you are single, then go ahead and express yourself to the fullest. Live the way you want to live, dress the way you want to dress and eat, drink and f~~~ the way you want to eat, drink and f~~~. Just be decent about it. Fat, sick and sloppy makes you look like an ass so try to keep it level and contained if you want to be respected. If you’re in a relationship but not yet married, don’t give her the upper hand. Let her know you have your life and your hobbies and your space and if she wants to be a part of it and blend some of hers in with yours, that’s fine but you aren’t going to become a buttoned down priss just to make her look tough in front of her friends. And if you’re married and have less than half of the space in your house dedicated to you and your s~~~, start staking your claim. Have a nice talk with the Mrs. over Sunday brunch and let her know that the museum living room you never use is about to become a bar and gaming room, that you’re putting in a hot tub where half her flower garden is and that your trophies, jerseys and collection of signed sporting equipment is coming out of storage and into the bedroom where it belongs. Be willing to make compromises but be firm. Remember, compromise means you get half of what you want, not she gets all of what she wants and you get nothing.

And if anyone in your life has a problem with this… a problem big enough to cause a fight… put them on notice. “Disrespect my lifestyle and you disrespect me. Do it again and you’re out on your ass.”

Life without self is nothing but a slow, agonizing death. You can do better than that, man.

[SoldanoParticipant 108]

I think you forgot one thing; the man cave is the place men can be at peace and don’t listen to her constant bitching nagging and phone calls to her friends.

And that’s worth something.

Also, i don’t like the implication that men have n taste in design.
Last time i checked most designers and artists were men, thank you very much (as they say).

All they can do is replicate designs they saw in a magazine without even knowing what it stands for.
And buy poorly made replicas of vintage stuff you could buy for half the price if you actually tried to look for better deal.

‘Oh that’s so great i got 1970’s furniture for only $990″”
-70’s furniture is common and since only hipsters like it you can get it at the flea market and yard sale for next to nothing.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Yeah the term “man cave” doesn’t sit well with me either. Like we are all neanderthals. But my “man cave” is pretty awesome and women are generally EMBARRASSED for misjudging me when I might invite her back to my place, they respond with “Uh … um…. i dunno…… ” and then when they walk in , the place is better kept and cleaner and nicer than ANY of theirs.

SO if my place is a “man cave” then the PIG STYES I have seen where allegedly adult women live… are a disgrace.

I pay VERY close attention to what a woman says when she sets one foot in my place.
Usually (almost 100% of the time) they say “OMFG!! your place is so clean!!”

“CLEAN???? There is no such thing as “SO CLEAN”. There is clean and there is NOT clean.”

… and I wonder, what kind of pigs does she usually go out with? What kind of dump does SHE live in? If a woman comments on how “clean” your place is, bet your ass she lives like a f~~~ing pig. And she probably get f~~~ed by pigs too. Its’ the first sign to me what kind of chick she is. The only girl I would consider calling again, is the kind who walks in and says NOTHING. The kind who just sits down normally and doesn’t feel a need to comment on how “so clean” it is… because she expects a place to be kept clean. It’s exactly the way she would keep it too.

Im telling you, what a woman calls a “man cave” is a compliment compared to some of the DUMPS I have seen that smell like kitty litter and have s~~~ty bamboo furniture with 1/2 the torn-off price tag still stuck to it.

(don’t get me started on the condition of their bathrooms . . . .)

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[johnconnor777Participant 85]

My whole house is pretty much a man cave by feminist standards:  I love movies, sports, video games, movies and I have posters of these things on frames everywhere, the guess bedroom was converted into a gym, etc … but I can tell you that my house is cleaner and have better quality stuff than 90% of the women apartments/houses I ever seen.

 

Once I had a lover coming over to my house and at some point she was giving me crap about having to grow up, that my house needs a female touch, that she would love to help me and so forth… you guys know all that crap, she is not a bad person but I could read where she was coming from a mile: redecorate my house for her liking on my credit card to move in for free later on, and if things didn’t work out between us, after a few years by common law marriage she could take half of everything. NO WAY!

 

I told her than when she actually bought a house, likely to be designed and built by men, on her own dime that she could decorate it with all the things she wished, as long as she paid for it. I also told her that I whenever I visit her tiny apartment I don’t give her crap for all the mess she has, dirt, and laundry everywhere because I don’t live there and to first clean her own mess before criticizing a clean and tidy place, but not to her liking…. after that day, I never heard a comment on the mancave, and we continued to see each other for many months.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

but I can tell you that my house is cleaner and have better quality stuff than 90% of the women apartments/houses I ever seen.

That’s a fact, Jack. You have to stumble over cats and stacks of Cozmo magazines just to sit down.
And donkeys will fly before she offers you a cold beer in a glass.

I would have a heart attack and die if a chick popped open a beer and poured it into a glass when visiting her domicile.
last time a chick offered me a beer, she had one bottle, handed it to me and didn’t even open it.

95% of modern broads have a “man cave” between their legs these days.
Every guys’s “man cave” is cleaner than the modern vadge. That much is certain.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

The last woman I dated had no taste or style in her home life… thrift store furniture and art, s~~~ beer and couldn’t cook a steak to save her life. Then she comes over to my place and I’m mixing her Hendricks and Fever Tree tonic with cucumber and purified water ice spheres in Bacarat crystal glasses and a perfectly seared and butter poached ribeye steak… dude, why even bother when she can’t tell the difference between a properly made Gin and Tonic and a well vodka and gun tonic in a plastic cup and wouldn’t know a good steak if it bit her in the ass?!

Pretty much anything you do for a woman is wasted. Get what you can as fast as you can and then get the f~~~ out.

[Total LeeParticipant 1573]

You were much too good to her. That “where are all the good men” s~~~ is such bulls~~~. I was at a bbq with 12 people. Six Russian men and women, me and two of my friends. The guys brought all the good s~~~. The good meats, top cuts, the good drinks, the best dessert. The women didn’t give a s~~~ what it was. Grey Goose or rubbing alcohol, they wouldn’t know the difference.

Pretty much anything you do for a woman is wasted

Roger that. You could grill a marinated $20 filet wrapped in bacon and a woman will reach for ketchup.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

This s~~~ right here.

[MBDParticipant 5]

I think the cave idea is to suggest that men being single or enjoying things without a woman is primitive. The fact is sitting at home with wife and kids are primitive.  That’s what guys did throughout history. Modern men go their own way and live more independently that ever before. The more correct term is “Bachelor pad” a residence for a bachelor.  I must also add that modernly bachelor pads are not the garage anymore, the wife is gone. Its modern well design apartments with some new styles men choose for themselves without the influence of women. I just resonantly redo my apartment and built in cupboards, painted it, study interior design concepts and spent 3 times more than I planned. remote controlled lights, big screen TVs,  best of Canadian Hi fidelity audio and acoustic treatments.  All I can say is, I would much rather be in my bachelors pad than in any woman’s home who I know. The trick is, you don’t need to be wealthy, but have pride in the place you live in. Expensive or cheap, make it awesome for you and your guests.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

Thumbs up for that. I would rather be in my bachelor pad than most bars and restaurants, even… for sure more than any female’s place I’ve ever been to.

I know quite a few sloppy dudes with little taste and style but most of them are just guys who have depended on females all their lives to clothe, feed and keep house for them. I’d say you can tell a lot about a man’s level of independence and sense of self worth by the environment he keeps for himself… and for those men, the only thing “primitive” about their homes is all the sweating, grunting and screaming that happens in the bedroom.

[JollyMisanthropeParticipant 3356]

Man Caves are essentially a refuge for defeated men from their conquering spouses. It’s a blue pill sanctuary if you take into account why it is created in the first place. A man’s house is his castle, women can either respect that or GTFO.

The Children of Doom... Doom's Children. They told my lord the way to the Mountain of Power. They told him to throw down his sword and return to the Earth... Ha! Time enough for the Earth in the grave.

[TheNinjaUWannaH8Participant 386]

F~~~ a ‘Man Cave’.

I’m all for a MAN-SHUN…..a Fruckin’ House that looks what Lex Luther or any Villainous Muthaf~~~a from a James Bond movie would live in.

In fact, I went driving around yesterday looking at possible sinister-looking properties…located off the main road where no noisy-ass neighbor could see what the fruck I’m doing.

You might ask: W’sup with the ‘SHUN’ part??? Because no women will be allowed at my MANSHUN, my primary residence.  There be an ENTIRELY SEPARATE APARTMENT located far from the MANSHUN for f~~~in’.

Wu Tang Manshun Ain’t Nothin’ to F~~~ Wit!

[Gravel PitParticipant]

This dude is still here too if Im not wrong. STARGAZER

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