The Lonely MGTOW

[Anonymous 23]

Hey guys, sorry for the lack of posts recently, I’ve had to step things up a bit at work and have been reduced to reading posts whilst waiting for the train or in the gents.

I’ve noticed a lot of you speak about how you cultivate your friendships as a great way to take the place of women in your life – would you have any advice for someone like me who’s friends have all got married & moved away, and every man around me is painfully blue pill? I work a lot and pay child support so don’t have much disposable income to go out and meet people, so my only real chance is my team at work – a bunch of engineers who are older than me but certainly not in any way wiser.

I’ll say it – I’m lonely. What on earth can I do?

[Smitty the Great OneParticipant 1535]

First of all, it is a choice whether you are happy or not. Second, this “alone time” you have is an opportunity for you to do something different with your life. Take a chance, do something you’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t. I’m currently dirt poor, in my “poverty” I have learned to get by very cheaply. Make a change in yourself, decide what is and isn’t important to you. Restructure everything you can think of until your life suits YOU. “Lonely” is a perspective I understand, and no one can change it except you. You can be in a room full of people and still be lonely. ANY man that goes MGTOW will experience this loneliness, it can feel crushing and depressing, I know first hand. You have to decide what you want and simply do it.

Life is too long to play by someone elses rules....

[– Deleted on Request –Spectator 936]

I’m semi-retired and in a similar social situation as you.  My solution is activities such as amateur radio.  I’ve met, at least on the air, a number of people who share this interest not just in the city where I live but around the continent.  Many of our contacts are simply rag-chewing sessions.  Also, there are frequent opportunities to see fellow aficionados at club meetings and flea markets.

 

See if there’s a group of people in your area that have interests similar to yours.  There are often meet-ups in various cities for people to gather together and, in fact, there is a website to find out about such gatherings:

 

http://www.meetup.com

 

 

[RennieParticipant]

You could try burying yourself in hobbies or work, or go on an adventure to parts unknown. Learn to entertain yourself. 🙂

[LordReillyParticipant 18]

I have been in the same boat as you for the past 13 years.  All of my friends are blue pill guys.  Hyper white-knight types.  most are getting married now and I seem to spend weeks, sometimes months without talking to any of them.  I don’t mind though, I have plenty to do.  I’ve taken on hobbies that I like to do, and I’m even making the movies toward starting my own business.  The extra time can be spent doing nothing and leaving you lonely or you can put it to good use.  I choose to do the latter.  That being said, when I first went my own way, there was no MGTOW, so I was really alone.  I admit that I let it get me down, but at some point you need to look at your life and decided how you want to live it.  Make the change, and remember the only things that’s stopping you, is you.  Go out and do great things!

[Anonymous 0]

Hi Ynys,

respectfully I read your last sentence.

I’ll say it  – I’m lonely. What can I do ?

For start just let me give you the advice and don’t say or think that you are lonely, just say you are with yourself. You change the view of your situation by doing this.

When I was a younger man I felt lonely for years, and I was alone, no doubt. I always thought that there is something wrong with me, and all the guys I met made me feel alone and maybe, I was not a little bit innocent about this. But something in me was always there which told me that I am not as wrong as they want to make me feel.

One day I woke up, angry beside myself with rage. It ends with a decision which have to been made: Death or Alive, which means leaving this world and the whole s~~~ behind and end my life or to hang on whatever will happen. A struggle  in my began, the hardest time of my life, but my Will to hang on remains as winner. Maybe the point when I decided to be a MGTOW without knowing it.

I start to love being with myself. I saw if there are no commitments I am absolutely more free. I stayed longer at work, while the blue pillars had to go home to their families, although complaining about it. At last I earned more money. I talked to co-workers which always want me to come with them, told me that they are going outside tonight but every one has to be in time because two or three of the guys will be offended when one will come too late. What a crap.

I started to identifiy all the bad things in relationships and friendships. It is not an easy part because there is the danger that you slowly but surely start to hate everything around you.

But more and more I did find out that it is not bad being with yourself.
I saved my money, I did not often go out, when I did I never cared about the money I may spend. Doing this you will loose both, the money and the fun.

Nowadays I do not have real pals. Maybe it sounds sad but it is not. I got some loose contacts but that is enough for me, hopelssly blue pillars.
Just like in your situation my co-workers are also blue pillars and  I am glad that no one asks me to go out for a beer. It is enough for my being together at work for 8 or 10 hours a day.
I admit, when I had to pay child support it would hurt me the most.

But, I can follow my interests, or I do nothing if I want to. No one tells me to do something or pushes me in his life construction.
Are you an engineer or technician ? Very good. You got skills, use them.

When hardship comes over you and you have cabin fever, put on you cheapest clothes you got, the best shoes you have, show your nicest smile and take a walk along the most noble avenue in your home town.

Be with yourself and enjoy it.

 

CHEERS!!!

[…Spectator 1165]

Ynys: everyone on this planet gets lonely. even the great comic Robin Williams felt lonely he said. he had wives, kids, money, fame, respect, everything a man could want and he was STILL lonely. Even in a room full of people.

I think it important to understand that once you have cut all the s~~~ out of your life, you can choose how you want to build it. i do best with a core group of 3-8 people that i can speak freely with and hang out with. if you need people (and a lot of people do) you’ll have to take the initiative and find some and make friends. Read and re-read hollowmile’s post to you. very brilliant advice in there.

[John DoeParticipant 743]

Get together with your blue pills friends every once in awhile.  It helps me appreciate being alone.

[Ronin XParticipant 81]

@Ynys, Maybe you should try a couple of meet up groups. I joined quite a few meet up groups that centered around my personal interests which was quite fun actually. I enjoy my solitude to the point that I get very upset when my peace is disturbed. But when I do socialize, I want it to be with a purpose. For example, I am apart of a movie and dinner group. I love watching and talking about movies so I really enjoy this gathering. Both men and women are apart of it but its not a dating group. Being a mghow takes away the need of trying to impress or pick up a female so I can be true to myself and be real. Yeah, they’re mostly blue/purple pillers  but I still enjoy the movie, the dinner and the convo afterwards. It might be worth checking out. I am apart of a men’s group too that is centered on encouraging guys to follow their dreams and set goals. It would be great if mgtow men could get their own social group together though.

[JollyMisanthropeParticipant 3356]

I too am familiar with the whole bouts of loneliness issue. I’ve learned to deal with it by what George Carlin would consider “small bursts” of interaction. He liked the average person but only in small bursts. My dad and I think alike on a lot of issues, not necessarily political but just on life in general so if I want an intellectual conversation I just drive an hour and visit the folks. My mom is the type I can only enjoy in medium bursts let’s say. She’s intelligent but can fall into the overly emotional trap if you shred her argument.

Other than that I’ll talk with people at work for a good 10-15 minutes or so before I get bored with the triviality and then go on my way.

Try as I may I pretty much have a general dislike of people and human nature in general. I don’t know if I’d call myself a nihilist but I’m definitely a misanthrope, even if I try not to be. I basically have the patience for stupid people that you’d see in someone twice my age. I’ve always considered myself a grumpy old man in a young man’s body. I don’t have any social hang-ups like anxiety or fear, I just physically find myself getting irritated if I’m around people too much, and this is increased 100 fold if there is nothing but superficial bulls~~~ to talk about. I hate small talk about trivial bulls~~~.

So after being in solitude doing my own thing I may decide to be more sociable with people but after a short time I just go back to solitude because I just get p~~~ed off being around people. Kind of a weird cycle but given I always end up finding myself preferring solitude as opposed to continuous contact with most people, so I considered myself a misanthrope based on this evidence that’s been compiled for years. Even as early as high school.

I think this is a great time to put forward the idea of having a chat-room on the site for people that want to shoot the s~~~ in real time. I’m really not familiar with any chat-rooms in particular that aren’t PC. Seems every site wants to cover it’s ass from whatever legal issues by being complete c~~~s if someone speaks their mind.

The Children of Doom... Doom's Children. They told my lord the way to the Mountain of Power. They told him to throw down his sword and return to the Earth... Ha! Time enough for the Earth in the grave.

[Anonymous 23]

Thank you for your valuable advice guys, your posts picked me up at a low moment there. I will reply properly to each of you later as I’m heading out for work(again) but I just wanted to post and say thanks and how much I appreciate it. Cheers. 🙂

[– Deleted on Request –Spectator 936]

Ynys:

 

In many ways, MTGOW is the epitome of what Shakespeare called “a band of brothers” in Henry V.

 

[fpmParticipant 3]

Ynys,

I also can relate.  For years I’ve suspected that the reason I have no married friends is the wives do not want their husbands to spend ANY TIME AT ALL with a single guy (forget a MGHOW!).  That leaves other single men.  I generally think single guys are either gay (i.e., not my type) or are troublemakers-in-waiting (to avoid).  In any event, they’re hard to find.  I avail myself of sportsman’s clubs and sports to get me out of the house during the day on weekends.  This was mentioned above several times and I highly recommend it.  I experience loneliness on a daily basis for ~ an hour and a half each night before bed (go figure).  Must be no one to tuck me in…  No way out of it.  It’s part of the cost to me of bucking the (very broken & terminally dangerous) system.  C’est la vie.

[Jim01Participant 6801]

Definitely take a look at the Meetup website – I am a member of a few groups and get along to a couple every now and again and usually have a good time as you know people there are interested in a certain subject

 

I’m a bit like Chaos myself – I am happy with my own company but occasionally like to go out and socialise which kind of recharges my battery until I feel the next need to go out again. But recently I have been quite socially busy and a part of me is looking forward to it dying down again so I can spend my weekends in my flat with beer, football, dvds and gaming and not have to see another soul from Friday night to Monday morning which is the best type of weekend imo

[Jim01Participant 6801]

Also adding I am also looking into buying a car as I fancy the freedom. I am starting to fancy getting in my car early Saturday morning and going off into the English countryside for the weekend and doing a bit of exploring. Just reached 30 and really want to start making my life my own – my job is boring which can get me down at times but it pays the bills with a nice amount left over so it’s time I started appreciating things

I think everyone has moments when they are lonely and as others have said on here look at Robin Williams who was married with kids so it really isn’t you or your lifestyle and you just need to change your thinking a little bit and you’ll be fine

[RoyDalParticipant]

… the wives do not want their husbands to spend ANY TIME AT ALL with a single guy (forget a MGHOW!).

I totally agree. I’ve seen it over and over. They must be wired that way.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[fpmParticipant 3]

I wanted to mention yesterday, but had to bail out.

This is my attempt to stress that IMO one or more hobbies/leisure time pursuits, depending on the depth of one’s wallet, are critical to a balanced life.  They’re healthy for you mentally and physically.  Almost always, you’re not the only one with that interest, and you’ve probably noticed that people are inclined to get together to share their interests.  So, a few suggestions: bowling, bocce, curling, skating (I don’t know where you live), joining a gym, buying a recurve bow and learning to shoot, yoga, aikido, or tai ch’i lessons, a poetry reading/sharing group, Toastmasters, cooking, volunteering at a “soup kitchen”, bicycling…

These things, of course, require of you that you can (or can learn to) get out of your own way.  You can test the waters on these things tepidly; if you try and don’t like the activity or the company, bail out at any time- after giving it a good go.  After 2 weeks, no one else will remember that you were there, not even the chick that thought you were kind of cute the first day you showed up, then shrugged her shoulders and turned her attention to her next target after you stopped showing up.  Who knows, maybe some female will be concerned enough to come home and tuck you in at night.

Have fun!

[Anonymous 43]

The droning noise of bombers can be heard in the distance, carrying their lethal load, that’s right, look out fpm you’re in the cross-hairs of the Norton bomb sight!

[fpmParticipant 3]

“The droning noise of bombers can be heard in the distance, carrying their lethal load, that’s right, look out fpm you’re in the cross-hairs of the Norton bomb sight!”

I don’t get it.

Seriously- lost on me.  Be plain.

[HimeoParticipant 471]

Self-improvement is the foundation of happiness for a man.

1) Is your career in order?

2) Are your finances in order?

3) Is your health in order?

4) Is your house (family) in order?

5) Do you have a goal or direction in life?

—

When those bases are covered and you’re looking for companionship the best way to bond with other men is through a shared activity. My pet hobby is tabletop RPG’s. It’s social, fun, and creative. All the things I desire more of in life. It can also be very, very cheap to participate in (if you don’t mind torrenting).

[Author]

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