The Land Whales

[Anonymous 42]

Hey RoyDal, this thread is about Land Whales not Mastodons!

[FearlessMGHOWParticipant 1928]

Damn RoyDal, I need eye bleach bad because of that picture!!!!!

Men age like fine wine. Women age like milk. "One hundred women are not worth a single testicle." -Confucius

[Anonymous 11]

So I go to the Whalemart yesterday too, I ran into my “thin” 80 year old aunt.

She had a hand basket of blue berries, bananas, and some sweet potatoes. My hand basket contained spinach, avocados and 1 lb (454 grams) of 93% lean ground beef that comes out of this operation based in Augusta, Georgia that is way better than the standard Whalemart Cargill brand ground beef.

After speaking with my aunt, I’m off in search of clothes pins. I’m one of the few Americans remaining that refuses to own a clothes dryer.

I ran into a pod of whales rumbling down the aisle. Mom, dad, and the two brats were all porcine to the one. The shopping cart was loaded with every type of processed food known to man. They were expert packers too. These whales expertly utilized every available bit of volume with sugary GMO cereals, fructose sweetened sodas, massive amounts of bread. They also had three 5 lb bags of frozen french fries too. I’m not going to go into the other processed crap as there were too many.

People get all uppity these days and try to fat shame or use the glands excuse.

One day I looked at myself and was shamed by myself into dropping that fat. The most important thing I did was to change my diet.

[Anonymous 42]

Anonymous wrote:

I’m one of the few Americans remaining that refuses to own a clothes dryer.

Try that s~~~ around here in December and you can forget about using hangers, just stand you cloths in the closet until they defrost! But only in closets that aren’t backed by an exterior wall, you can store frozen foods in most closets…

Has your front door ever been jammed from closing from the endless frost buildup on the inside! There’s a reason we call engine casting plugs “freeze plugs” they’re the first thing to give and pop out just before the engine block cracks! Nigh time temperatures are still below freezing here! I want to turn on my outdoor drinking fountain but still fear it could freeze and bust the pipe.
Repairs in cast iron are possible due to the craftiness of men, the repair is done mechanically (not by welding)The crack is machined down to receive an exact fitting steel plate, it’s then fastened to the cast by as many counter sunk machine screws designed to snap off leaving a nub to be ground down flat, then the entire plate is then peened to match the cast iron texture. Just thought I’d mention that because men are amazing!

Rearguards to food, I switched from watery non nutritious lettuce to fresh spinach on my sammiches. I always look to make my food more nutritious.
The land whales only seek out flavor, but after a while their taste buds become dulled from salt, sugar, and fat. Then they just consume more and more s~~~ food to satisfy their overworked taste buds.
I sat and watched one of my LW relatives when she eats. She grabs everything starchy sweet and fat. When she was in her teens she lived with my parents and my father bought a package of Twinkies, not for himself, not for me, but just to see how long they would last, he thought everything was OK for a week, until he picked up the box, IT WAS EMPTY! Someone (not naming any names) carefully opened the box from the bottom and ate all the contents! Not one f~~~ing Twinkie! The last time I ate a Twinkie I was still growing!

Land Whales will eat salted grizzle with sugar on top! AND ENJOY IT!

I’d rather follow a billy goat around and eat what he eats!

[Anonymous 11]

What is the thing called freezing?

Every few years we may have a one or two day stretch of barely below freezing highs. Many years, I will have hundreds of tree ripened oranges in Winter. The Winter of 2014 was very rough on those trees.

It’s pretty crazy what 900 miles further North does to the Winter, I just use my weight room as a drying room with a ceiling fan running.

They all eat extremely large and/or multiple portions too. I could run for three days off of what one eats in one meal.

The worst thing is having a whale prepare your plate for you. When I make my own plate, they tell me I eat like a bird. Either way, I cannot win with them. They think everyone does and should eat like they do.

I’m a big guy at 6’1″ coming in at 225lbs with a normal BMI. I’d easily be 500 to 700 lbs if I ate like a whale.

[Anonymous 42]

Yea OK, so what, oranges in December, whooptie doo, while you were eating oranges, I was ice skating with an Olds 98 with a 455 rocket! On Queens lake (never in my town) I was doing doughnuts at 75 to 80 mph! Using steering neutral and drive with perfect timing to maintain the 75 to 80 mph, without veering off course! Those docks were whipping by like baseball bats! Then I got the f~~~ out of there before the cops came… If Cap weren’t on vacation he’d back me up!

[FearlessMGHOWParticipant 1928]

Anonymous wrote:

The worst thing is having a whale prepare your plate for you. When I make my own plate, they tell me I eat like a bird. Either way, I cannot win with them. They think everyone does and should eat like they do.

I get that a lot also. Mainly from my extended family though.

I’d also never let land whales fix my plates. I always make my own. If I left it up to them, they’d have me eating 5+ pounds of food on every sitting.

The most I ever eat that’s bad for me is fried potatoes at breakfast and fast food probably every weekend. I still drink soda, but it’s mainly on the weekends when I get fast food.

Otherwise, most of my meals consist of pressure cooked chicken, shrimp, vegetable steamers, soup, and the Crystal Light flavorings for water.

Men age like fine wine. Women age like milk. "One hundred women are not worth a single testicle." -Confucius

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