The coming crash of marriage: Why and what is next

[DirtBikeManParticipant 535]

Interesting write up. I really like the site.

https://fabiusmaximus.com/2018/05/14/the-death-of-marriage/

Prediction: Marriage rates are slowly falling. They will drop a lot in Generation Z (those born roughly in 1995-2005). The reasons are obvious. Only feminist ideology prevents us from seeing this, and preparing.
Why did men marry in modern America?

Understanding this is the key to reforming marriage. First the reward for marriage was patriarchy. In a patriarchal system, a good wife was wonderful. She provided a boost to a man’s ego, an aid to his career, a wonderful home. The family defined his existence and gave meaning to his life.

Second, even with that reward women still had to entice men to join the rat race. They dressed to attract the “male gaze” (stocking and pantyhose, skirts and dresses, makeup and nice hair). They deferred to men, pretending that men had “headship” in the home.

Marriage was the essence of bourgeois life. It was the pursuit of respectability, prosperity, and security. Men became domesticated. They married when they were supposed to. They worked hard to support their families. They raised kids when she wanted them. When she wanted another man, he quietly bowed out without fuss. When she wanted a divorce (about 40% of marriages), he bowed and wrote the checks as ordered by the woman-friendly courts.

The Left hated bourgeois life, as seen in their countless books and films about the horrors of suburban life in 1950’s America. They worked for generations to destroy it. Now they have succeeded. Both those supports for marriage have gone away.

Feminism liberated women from the oppression of patriarchy. They have a new world of opportunities. Now they can dress to please themselves. They can treat marriage as an option (not an irreversible choice) and pursue independence instead of husbands. All this is right and proper under the rules that govern the West.

Although its foundations have washed away, marriage remains a powerful institution due to momentum. Much like the cartoon coyote racing off a cliff, we continue to run as if there was still ground under our feet. But that is only a phase in the process of change.

Insanity is changing the foundation
but expecting the building to remain the same.

Reformers seldom asked how these reforms changed the risk and rewards of marriage for men. Without patriarchy as a reward, what did marriage do for men? Without women working to entice men into marriage, might other pursuits seem more attractive to young men? Men are free agents, just as women are. They can choose other paths, just as women can.

Men now can easily get sex without marriage, as social reforms shifted the sexual market balance to favor men (see Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy by Mark Regnerus, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Texas at Austin).

By bourgeois norms, men become respectable through marriage. Freed from those, men can pursue cheaper sources of fun: porn, computer games, sports, and drugs.

By bourgeois norms, a placid and secure life is the highest goal. Men can die young in the harness of the rat race, or die at an advanced age in a nursing home. Freed from bourgeois norms, men can adopt older values. Such as partying hard and enjoying the unique thrills of high-risk activities. Nobody lives forever, so we can burn brightly in the few years we have! Alexander the Great died at 33, but lived a fuller life than most divorced men. We cannot be him, but we can admire and learn from him.

Thou know’st it’s common; all that lives must die,
Passing through nature to eternity.
— Queen Gertrude to Hamlet (Act I, scene 2).

Freeing men from the attractions of bourgeois family life brings another opportunity to society. In the bourgeois life, men’s wives and children are his hostages to fortune. They weld men’s allegiance to the current regime. “Better a hundred years of tyranny than a day of chaos.” Freed from the traditional loyalties that give meaning to life, men can seek new and more exciting projects. The thrills of revolution no longer have large costs and risks to him. The time and energy formerly devoted to the rat race can contribute to new and larger projects. There are fewer impediments to the growth of fanatical movements capable of reshaping society.

Peter Pan syndrome

Bien pensant feminists write books and articles mocking young men who refuse to marry modern women and join the rat race. The men have the “Peter Pan” syndrome. But Peter Pan is a feminized version of boys, a young soyboy. That’s why Peter is usually played by a young woman. Generation Z might remind us of the true nature of young men, once unleashed.

“Unless you expect the unexpected you will never find truth, for it is difficult to discover.”
— Heraclitus, the pre-Socratic “Weeping Philosopher” of Ionia. But if you wait long enough, it will smack you in the face.

For more information

See the numbers about marriage and fertility: “No Ring, No Baby: How Marriage Trends Impact Fertility” by Lyman Stone at the Institute for Family Studies.

Ideas! For shopping ideas see my recommended books and films at Amazon.

If you liked this post, like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. See all posts about society and gender issues, about feminism, about marriage, and especially these …

Men are going Galt. Marriage is dying. — A review of books from the cutting edge of the revolution.
Men are abandoning the rat race, & changing American society. — See the data.
Why men are avoiding work and marriage.
Will young men break America’s family structure?
Will today’s young men marry? America’s future depends which of these answers is right.
The coming crash as men and women go their own way.
The rising number of celibate men: it’s an alarm.

An important book about marriage in the 21st century
Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream – and Why It Matters
Available at Amazon.

Men on Strike:
Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream –
and Why It Matters.

By Helen Smith.

She is a psychologist specializing in “forensic issues” in Knoxville TN. She has a PhD and two MA’s in something or other. From the publisher about this book…

“American society has become anti-male. Men are sensing the backlash and are consciously and unconsciously going ‘on strike.’ They are dropping out of college, leaving the workforce and avoiding marriage and fatherhood at alarming rates. The trend is so pronounced that a number of books have been written about this “man-child” phenomenon, concluding that men have taken a vacation from responsibility simply because they can. But why should men participate in a system that seems to be increasingly stacked against them?

“As Men on Strike demonstrates, men aren’t dropping out because they are stuck in arrested development. They are instead acting rationally in response to the lack of incentives society offers them to be responsible fathers, husbands and providers. In addition, men are going on strike, either consciously or unconsciously, because they do not want to be injured by the myriad of laws, attitudes and hostility against them for the crime of happening to be male in the twenty-first century. Men are starting to fight back against the backlash. Men on Strike explains their battle cry.”

The most important thing you can do is ask yourself, what do I really want out of life. Really think about it, and always be true to yourself. Then Do it.

[AttonParticipant]

All I can say is I hope by the end of this gynocentrism burns.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[JustAnotherGuyParticipant]

It gets that there’s no benefits, let alone rewards, for men to get married. It understands that the momentum of the machine is the only thing keeping new marriages going.

But the gynocentric blind spot in the article is the complete disregard for the myriad ways marriage is a disastrous, life ruining liability for men.

It also doesn’t differentiate how SMV still favors older men and ignores younger men, simply stating that sex now favors men. I would argue with all the cash and prizes going around, it still favors women. The payouts are getting smaller, but they’re still regular.

Cupcakes are Cold. MGTOW is Absolute Zero.
“Let us wait a little; when your enemy is executing a false movement, never interrupt him” –Napoleon Bonaparte, 1805

[narwhalParticipant]

Too wordy for me. Took me a while to figure out what time period this ‘story’ started in.

I also think it’s important to recognized that changes in technology and the vast size of the population are also big enablers of allowing men to forgo marriage. There is no longer a need for a mate to take care of the household, as there are modern machines and services that can handle that. As well, he does not need a mate or family for that matter to find entertainment and meaning. There are plenty of other outlets for that, where there were few decades ago.

I also don’t think the term ‘men on strike’ is that accurate. In a strike situation, both parties generally wish to end the strike but can’t agree on the terms. Those on strike are waiting around hoping that the missed time without their labor will cause the company to reconsider the employment conditions they’ve provided. The goal of the striker is to get back to work.

That is not what’s happening here. It would be more accurate to say that men have already established ’employment’ elsewhere, usually through self employment. They are not waiting around hoping conditions changed. They are not dependent on the company in anyway.

In the regard, in order to get men to return back to employment at the company, they cannot offer a salary and environment that just better than what they offered previously. They have to offer something that’s better than what they have now through self employment. That isn’t something ‘the company’ even understands, as far as I can tell.

Ok. Then do it.

[iMickey503Participant 12465]

Not falling for the bulls~~~ is the very first step.

You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home

[SolidParticipant 7520]

Some people are waking up, this is good but, c~~~ocracy never stops, marriage only exists so c~~~s can retire early and have a good source of income.
The c~~~ocratic government will find a way to tax men even more, to be able to give free money to c~~~s

[RomulusParticipant 4667]

JustAnotherGuy wrote:

the momentum of the machine is the only thing keeping new marriages going.

I believe this is true as a current observation.

Tradition, early brainwashing, social shaming, these all contribute to men, albeit in lower numbers, heading down the aisle.

But that will change as men increasingly reject an institution that no longer serves any useful purpose for us.

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

[BeerParticipant 11832]

Romulus wrote:

But that will change as men increasingly reject an institution that no longer serves any useful purpose for us.

The beautiful thing is it will feed itself…the more men refuse to marry, the more role models future generations will have to look up to. Never getting married isn’t going to stigmatize you as the creepy gay pedo guy anymore, its just going to make you the fun guy not being made miserable by some gash with the awesome car who retired early and takes lots of vacations.

[DirtBikeManParticipant 535]

Complicated events are multi-causal. The decline of the marriage contract is no different. I like to see fresh eyes on the problem. For me. Its economic, why would you risk so much, for something that has become so risky.

When you analysis how people treat their money and time, you really see true reality. People spend time and money on what they value. Men and women, see very differently on this. It plays out right before your eyes every second of the day.

The most important thing you can do is ask yourself, what do I really want out of life. Really think about it, and always be true to yourself. Then Do it.

[Author]

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