Hello everyone, im not too good at really talking about myself or past experiences, but im going to give it a go.
Im a 20 year old from Australia who moved to the USA around june of last year.
i used to be one of thoes betas who was pushed too far in high school and gave up on what people thought of me (a pseudo alpha i guess), making moves on women and generally being somewhat a confident male; in this time i had a couple relationships that didnt end up working out, both was due to cheating on their behalf.
A couple months later it was one of those high school sweet heart moments when you realize your long time friend and you actually have feelings for one another.
In 2012 we fell into a deep “love” and she moved in with me, our lives moved on from high school and it was all well and good.
Around march of 2013 my parents got a divorce, my mother said that as soon as she sold the house she was moving back home (America) so i was asked by my mother if i would like to move with her all expenses paid until i got on my feet etc and i accepted.
After a lot of thinking me and the HSS (high school sweetheart) had planned that she would move with me to the USA and so we started making plans and getting passports ready.
In Febuary of 2014 i started getting a little suspicious that she was hiding something from me, she started going out alot (which wasnt normal) and started talking to alot of her old class mates who happened to specifically be male. (although i probably should have asked, i never did)
I got fed up with it, she was consistently talking about this certain guy, (ill him call jenk) and always bragging about how fun it was over there, and that it sucked i couldnt go with her (which was suspect as f~~~) so i told her we needed a weekend break. She agreed and decided to “stay at her moms”.
one of my GOOD friends who was also a roommate (ill call OM) told me he was going to jenk’s house for a little gathering to get drunk and smoke.
the next morning he burst through the door and woke me up. he told me that HSS and Jenk had slept together that night and they where acting as a couple the entire time.
I lose it, i grab all her s~~~ and throw it in a garbage bag and literally toss it out the door, i called her phone and told her to come pick up her s~~~, i know what she did and she can go f~~~ her self. she instantly admitted, then started admitting to a whole bunch of other bulls~~~ e.g. sleeping with a guy the day after i took her virginity because “we were not really together”, sleeping with a person i got into fights with which she let him cum inside her for her to then come over so me, make moves on me and eventually f~~~ed me (note that she f~~~ed me in this case) while i had no idea she had been creampied by someone else, taking money, and flirting with one of my closest friends to see if he would bite. im almost positive there is more but f~~~ it.
That was the end of a two year serious relationship of my first “love”.
Next month we sold the house and we moved the following month.
Arrived on US soil in March 2014, the day i said f~~~ it, f~~~ relationships, and f~~~ women, im not falling for the same manipulative bulls~~~ i did so many times before.
Since then ill be honest, i slept with one girl one time about two weeks ago because she wouldnt leave me the f~~~ alone and was a “no stings attached” situation. she was the only person i had slept with in a little over a year I dont try to make moves any more or really care about making moves, simply put i just dont care anymore. i feel like such a long time without sex after so much sex cleared my head and helped me think clearly about what happends when two people get emotionally connected, and the s~~~ that usually unravels and comes to light that both party’s simply ignore for no logical reason. but i also feel like i lost something about me. Im no longer self confident in really anything i do unless i am driving the backroads or extremely stoned. i have givin up past hobys e.g. Skateboarding, jiu jitsu for no apparent reason other then no self motivation. (its not the weed, been smoking that most days since i was around 14)
But in saying that, i am happy i am no longer the person i used to be, it was a BIG learning experience for me, and one i will never forget.
im sorry for the long story, as i started typing i just kind of came out as i was remembering it.
i hope to learn a lot from you guys, and i hope my story might have helped someone else.
Oldscoundrell 4 years, 7 months ago.
