These are just of my life experience as I was going through life. I appreciate them more now, than when I was younger. Just hope the younger guys appreciate the lessons that are within.
Summary : Advice for guys thinking about marriage . Remember D . G. I.
When I was a young trainee, I was working with a company to build a power station. We were set up in teams, 2-3 trainee’s working with an old hand who was our team leader. The view from the management was that we did all the leg work, the old hand would supervise and impart wisdom and experience to us. We worked in three 8 hour shifts, which ensured work carried on 24/7 at the site. Alistair was my team leader. 64 years old, silver white hair, and a wiry build. Incredibly experienced, he had worked around the world, in many countries, in all sorts of environments. You name it, he had been there, done it, seen it. OK, he was never your pin suit, city type or office manager type dick, didn’t go to university/college, but he was educated in the school of life, and treated everyone with the same respect, regardless of who they were, and whether they were the cleaners or senior managers. He said very little, but when he spoke, he would sum up things to a tee and a lot of what he said was profound (in terms of life)…and if you didn’t understand/appreciate it initially, you would later on.
Anyhow, we finished the testing of a control system for a turbine. We had 1.5 hrs left till the end of our shift and were heading back to our porta cabin offices. We passed another team who were still working on some giant werner slurry pumps, trying to get them installed. They were having some serious problems.
I asked him, ‘Should we offer them a hand, they look like they need help ?’
He stopped walking, turned slowly to me, looked me in the eye and brought out a badge with the initials, ‘DGI’ stenciled on them. He then said, which a deep sigh, ‘Son, let me give you some advice. We worked hard, have finished the job we had to do, what needed to be done, we did good. But you have to remember DGI. Think of that Werner pump like a woman, and you wanting to help out – like marriage’
‘What does that mean ?’, I asked.
‘DON’T. GET. INVOLVED’, he replied slowly and with emphasis on each word.
Well we didn’t. We finished our shift and went home. I arrived the next day to discover, the guys on the Werner pumps didn’t finish until 10 pm that night, the company wouldn’t pay for the overtime as it wasn’t ‘authorized’ before hand. That team was royally shafted.
When I met with Alistair , he didn’t rub my face in it. He just said, ‘Son, in this game, as in life, you have to watch out for yourself. Rushing in and not thinking things through will get you into trouble. No one else will look out for you here. ‘
Over the weeks, I discovered he had been married two times and had 2 kids who have grown up. One went to university, and the other didn’t. He supported them until they were 21. The courts weren’t as bad in the 60’s and 70s as they are now he said. But its why he left the UK and effectively lived and worked abroad most of his life. Ironically his third LTR was with a landlady of a pub, and he said that was great as he would get a drink, have a laugh with her, had abit of fun, but she didn’t want marriage or kids (she was divorced and three kids all grown up), and neither did he – they just enjoyed each others company and enjoyed life. Interestingly, he sold his house, and lived in a large prefab building. I thought he was silly at the time, as he could afford a big house if he wanted to. However now I look back, it only cost him £1k (more like £3-7k in today’s money), it was large, warm, easy to look after, and if he wanted to move it – he could ! My honest opinion is for guys starting out, a mobile home or prefab is a better investment if you want to save money for a deposit. It will also keep the gold diggers away ! The only issue is whether there is space where you want to live or work to place it.
So for all you young guys thinking about marriage, remember
(1)Seek the advice of older guys who have been through marriage and divorce, they will give you real genuine advice.
(2)Do not listen to women, the State, or mainstream media crap. Be your own man.
(3)There are these ‘relationship guru’s ‘ on you tube and day time tv. Remember, the issue as I see it, it’s not managing the relationship that is the issue, it’s the legal system that screws you up because its one sided to the woman. Regardless of whether you manage your relationship well or not, if she wants to screw you,that’s what the family courts do.
(4)When you have weighed up all the pro’s and con’s and thought it all through, and still think marriage is what you want, then picture this :
‘The next time your lady is angry with you, put your b~~~~ in a blender, call her over, put her hand on the “ON” switch, and say, “if you turn it on, you will get 60-75% of what I have, you will get my house, car, pension, and cash in the bank, for life. But if you truly love me, and accept my faults, and put love, work, patience, understanding and some sacrifice for the rest of our lives, you won’t get any of my assets, but you will have my love and my companionship” .
Because in the UK, that is what the legal system in the UK has boiled marriage down into.
Remember D G I (Don’t Get Involved)
D. G. I. Don't. Get. Involved. (Be happy, and stress not)
, 2 years, 11 months ago.
