Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › Tales from the Crypt – Part 3 Foreign Woman
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Anonymous 2 years, 7 months ago.
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Haven’t posted for a while, but thought I would share another tale of a good friend of mine who married a foreign woman, hoping that her more feminine and less entitled cultured would help him avoid the pitfalls of the modern lass. I will say the tale doesn’t quite have a happy ending, but a lesson to be learned.
He was marine mechanical engineer by discipline, but we worked for the same company for a few years. Really nice dude, well mannered, polite, helpful. After seeing the problems I had, and with the issues I had, he decided not to marry from the UK. He did however meet a woman from an far eastern country. She was stunning, and he got to know her for at while before he proposed. I have to admit, she seemed nice, very considerate and accommodating. She seemed to genuinely want to look after him. He said in the 12 months he lived with her, she looked after his place, cooked, cleaned etc and never seemed to complain.
He definitely was bowled over by her, and when he proposed, she said yes, provided she could live in the UK. He was more than ecstatic. He subsequently took out a mortgage in the UK, and prepared the long process of getting her a visa and residency to remain in the UK. This involves you preparing a file which outlines all your assets, your qualifications, bank accounts, income etc all notarized by a solicitor (lawyer) and presented to authorities – to prove you can support her initially. (Note – it also allows the courts to work out your assets in a divorce !)
The whole process took 18 months, but eventually she was given a visa (not residency). The rules in the UK was he/she would have to live together as husband/wife for 4 years, have joint accounts, bills, live at the marital home for 4 years continuously, and she took no welfare. After which she would be granted residency (UK passport), and she could work etc like a UK national. All provided there was no criminality involved. She also had to go to a local college to learn the language to a particular standard.
Things were ok for the first 12 months she was in the UK, and they had a baby girl shortly after. However things started to go awry after that. He would say she stopped doing things in the house, she stopped cooking or cleaning. She would do her own stuff but after coming home, he said he would have cook for himself, wash his own clothes, clean the house, do household jobs. She started to become more argumentative and distant, and she would stay out late. He never said much to her, and thought it was just homesickness/having child. He took her to see her parents frequently, took her on holiday, looked after his kid whilst she was free to do shopping on weekends and out with her friends (from college). Things however progressively got worse over the the next three years.
Well, after 4 years, she got her residency from the UK government. 1 day after that, he returned home to find she had left with their child, and went to the authorities to claim she was treated badly. The council called the police, took a statement, and asked her to sign it, so he could be arrested and imprisoned. She refused, for some obvious reason. If he was imprisoned, he would lose his job, house, car etc and she would get nothing. However by claiming abuse, she was automatically entitled to a house, welfare, grants for furniture/white goods/welfare support for the child without going on a waiting list (which is about 6 months).
My friend was devastated by this, and it came out of the blue as far as he was concerned. He was still working at the time, and it had a impact on his work performance. interestingly, once she got her government house, she invited him to see his child. It turns out she wanted money from him for the child, which, stupidity he gave – all without her going through the courts. He seemed to think they would get back together. However 12 months after this, she filed for divorce, demanded her share of the house, car, his pension, and alimony.
He then spent the next 12 months through the divorce courts, being forced to pay for her lawyer and his. He had to pay for court costs as well, because he was the only one working at the time. She wasn’t, and was on welfare. It was obvious to me that both her and his counsel were prolonging things to make money out of him. The trial had such a strain on him, his boss gave him a sabbatical, but in the end, he resigned from work due to stress. He ended up on welfare, and within one month of that happening, the court abruptly gave the divorce – with 60/40 distribution of all his assets (in favour of his ex). He however offered her the entire house, since 95% was owned by the bank, his car was a company car and not his. His pension was only due in 30 years when he retired and now that he left the job, he wasn’t paying in, so the sum would not be sizeable either. From what he told me, his ex was fuming at her counsel for not checking things beforehand.
However that wasn’t the end of it. He now had to go through the child access and custody battle. She was determined to make life difficult for him because she wasn’t getting any real money from the divorce, and now that he had left his well paying job, she wasn’t going to get anything from him. As an unemployed person, he was not expected to pay child support or alimony until he found work…which he was too stressed to do.
The child custody battle took another 2 years to resolve…I say resolved, but it wasn’t. He just gave up trying to fight her through the courts. He now sees his daughter once every 3 months for half a day, on a day his ex dictates.
He was so fed up with the system, he left the country, and works in Portugal now, where he, surprisingly hooked up with some youngish widow, who apparently has money/her own place, but doesn’t want to get married either. He has found work there, near the coast, and although he still comes back to the UK when he is given visitation rights by his ex, he says he will never ever work in the UK again, and neither will he advise people to get married in the UK.
The fact is, getting married to a nice woman from abroad, might seem like a nice idea, but once they arrive here, they learn quickly the system…and you are once again at the mercy of the asset stripping divorce courts.
A nice dude, family man, now forever tarnished by a courts/legal system which says it acts in the interest of the child, but in reality is self serving, and gives all the rights to the woman, the guy is guilty of everything, and he has few rights….unless she is a complete basket case ie on drugs.
D. G. I. Don't. Get. Involved. (Be happy, and stress not)
Anonymous6What about asian women. They do have the highest marriage rates and lowest divorce rates.
What about asian women.
In my opinion, it’s the inequality in the system here that is the problem.
Men can be b*stards. Women can be b*tches. We all can make mistakes in hooking up with the wrong person. But the reality is, the legal system doesn’t allow you to tell them to gtf out, when it becomes apparent. The bloke is generally asset stripped regardless. denied child access. Therefore marriage is a high risk process for men. What is in it for them ?
Now if there culture or country where these laws don’t exist, and people can separate without the prolong affair and asset stripping by courts….then go ahead.
My experience is asian women are just as likely to divorce as western women when they move to the west. However in their own cultures, there is a stigma from being divorced, and there are gender roles/expectation/behavior that may prevent them from being entitled…but modern feminism will do away with that.
In olden days, a marriage was a private contract between a man and a woman. Now, its a threesome, with the State involved…and effectively you hand over control of everything you have to the State to allow it to distribute how it wants…because you have got married……why don’t they allow pre nups? why don’t they have a government health warning on marriages/co habiting ? why don’t they warn people of the legal implications of divorce before they get married?
D. G. I. Don't. Get. Involved. (Be happy, and stress not)
Anonymous3My experience is asian women are just as likely to divorce as western women when they move to the west. However in their own cultures, there is a stigma from being divorced, and there are gender roles/expectation/behavior that may prevent them from being entitled…but modern feminism will do away with that.
And you cannot be more wrong. I wish more native Asian men would post here so misinformation like this would die right this very second.
Tungus, I hear what DaveV wrote a lot on here. If you disagree, then I’m curious to hear evidence as to what IS true. Show us what you’ve got.
"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.
And you cannot be more wrong. I wish more native Asian men would post here so misinformation like this would die right this very second.
I think you are missing the point being made here, and that is the legal system is the issue, not whether a particular ethnic group is more or less likely to divorce. The consequences are severe.
You also need to qualify whether you are referring to asian women born/educated in the west vs those arriving from abroad – and whether they married outside their cultures/ethnic group.
My experiences are they are just as likely to divorce once they become fully westernized/ modern feminists – especially where money is concerned. But whether the percentage is 20% or 40% less etc ..the consequences by the State remain the same….you are screwed…..
D. G. I. Don't. Get. Involved. (Be happy, and stress not)
What about asian women. They do have the highest marriage rates and lowest divorce rates.
That is what I thought, too. At the time of my marriage to a Filipina, I read the American-Filipina divorce rate was 20%…I think it substantially higher than that. Once thing you have to understand is, in general, once you marry an Asian woman (Filipina/Thai), you are just not marrying her, but you are marrying her ENTIRE FAMILY, and being the rich Kano that they think you are,(or Farang, if you marry Thai), you are expected to help support them! Don’t expect your Asian wife to work much, if you bring her over to your country, as sometimes they cannot get along with others from the same culture (I’m looking at you, Filipina’s) especially if they work together. Another major problem is if you bring your beautiful Asian wife over to your country. Since she is probably much more beautiful and exotic than land whales from the west, she WILL get hit on by other men – guaranteed. Depending on the quality of character , she will either resist, or monkey branch to a better deal. My ex did get hit on heavily, but she never cheated on me..probably because the influence of her good family. It is true, that many of these women can be very traditional and willing to assume traditional roles, but a man has to be traditional and strong too (a good provider, among other things) in order for relationship to have a chance. Corruption of Asian women as get acclimated to the Western lifestyle also represents a high risk to a successful long term marriage and in all probability it will change her for the worse as she will see how rich Westerners are compared to people from her own country and she might want to keep up with Jones’s . The biggest risk of them all, is that you you want them in your country, you have to eventually sign the legally binding marriage contract, essentially you are signing your life and soul to the devil..but in the hope that the Asian devil is kinder and gentler than the Western one….
Women do not love men. Women only love what men can provide.
Anonymous6Damn you crushed me man. I wanted a Filipina chick, I thought they were alright.
The bit about social stigma is true. I know this (or believe it anyway) from the amount of studying I’ve done of East Asian culture. This point I don’t think is really contestable.
However, the divorce rate is much more questionable. The 50% divorce rate in America is a lie (just talk to people and check the numbers yourself . . . seems like pretty much everyone’s been divorced), so I don’t trust any of the stats on divorces in East Asian countries either.
Not that it matters much for us. We know better than to marry anyone, regardless of their culture and background. All women are the same.
Women are better at multitasking? Fucking up several things at once is not multitasking.
Damn you crushed me man. I wanted a Filipina chick, I thought they were alright.
No, no, no, and AW HELL NO! In my experience, not even good girlfriend material. Maybe I’m generalizing too much though.
Women are better at multitasking? Fucking up several things at once is not multitasking.
Since she is probably much more beautiful and exotic than land whales from the west, she WILL get hit on by other men – guaranteed. Depending on the quality of character , she will either resist, or monkey branch to a better deal.
And the legal system here would allow her to do it, without any real consequence to her, but she would be entitled to 50-60% of her first husbands assets, knowing she can move onto husband no 2.
Perhaps in her country you could appeal to her inlaws/societal norms/culture….but it’s a woman’s nature to look for more/better resources….
The biggest risk of them all, is that you you want them in your country, you have to eventually sign the legally binding marriage contract, essentially you are signing your life and soul to the devil..but in the hope that the Asian devil is kinder and gentler than the Western one….
A leap of faith….or putting your b~~~~ in the grinder…hoping she won’t press the button….because those involved in the family courts make their money from asset stripping guys…
All I can say, is my good friend had his life in the UK, his dreams and career destroyed by a woman who actually at the time seemed really nice. In her own country, societal norms / her family would not have allowed her to do this. But in the UK, when her solicitor told her she could get 60% of £250,000 (his house value), plus pension, plus alimony……she couldn’t resist. What they didn’t check was how much the bank owned…which was the majority, because he only paid the interest on the mortgage once things got rough. He can no longer see his daughter when he wants, and he can never really work in the UK again. The UK has lost a honest man, a tax payer, and in return it has someone who will be dependent on the State for the rest of her life.
D. G. I. Don't. Get. Involved. (Be happy, and stress not)
No, no, no, and AW HELL NO! In my experience, not even good girlfriend material. Maybe I’m generalizing too much though.
I have worked with many pino’s in my travels, they seem to work alot in admin roles. In all honesty, I wouldn’t trust them. They are nice to your face, but pretty vicious and vindictive behind your back. However most have pino husbands who treat them badly, and they remain loyal – to them. However the few western expats I know who married them and treat them well say they are nice for 1-2 years, but turn really nasty after that…and most don’t last 3-5 years. They then return with the money/passport for her pino ‘man’…who usually treats them badly…….go figure ??!!
D. G. I. Don't. Get. Involved. (Be happy, and stress not)
Anonymous3I think you are missing the point being made here, and that is the legal system is the issue, not whether a particular ethnic group is more or less likely to divorce. The consequences are severe.
You also need to qualify whether you are referring to asian women born/educated in the west vs those arriving from abroad – and whether they married outside their cultures/ethnic group.
My experiences are they are just as likely to divorce once they become fully westernized/ modern feminists – especially where money is concerned. But whether the percentage is 20% or 40% less etc ..the consequences by the State remain the same….you are screwed…..
It doesn’t matter if I’m missing the point or not, because you’re just wrong. I’m talking about the real Asian experience: Asian women in Asian countries that marry Asian men.
All women are foreign to some people. The fact that you called Asian women foreign shows me enough, that you are living a different experience and most likely haven’t the slightest of clue, and your subsequent posts since OP proved exactly that.
The real reason, and the only reason, Asian women don’t initiate divorce in their countries is because they simply do not gain from such action. They gain more by having you around. That’s it. All that culture and gender roles that you mentioned are complete nonsense.
It’s the same reason why an Asian woman, or any woman, would marry anybody in the first place.
Once they’re in a position where they can gain more by divorcing you, it’s done. It’s just that simple.
The real reason, and the only reason, Asian women don’t initiate divorce in their countries is because they simply do not gain from such action.
Oh yeah, I agree with this. Lots of Asian women treat foreigners a lot better than they treat their own race (look at how European women treat Muslims versus their own countrymen for an analogous situation). This might possibly give rise to some misconceptions. I’ve had great experiences with Japanese women, but I’m NOT a Japanese man. If Japanese women are nice to their own men, why the massive rise in herbivores?
Women are better at multitasking? Fucking up several things at once is not multitasking.
The system isn’t “unequal” and it isn’t broken… it’s working exactly as it is designed and meant to work… to take your assets and give them to women.
Your friend found out the hard way. “Out of the blue” indeed. She was planning this from the day they met… she only agreed to meet him in the first place because he was a likely candidate for this scam.
Hopefully you haven’t and won’t fall for the same trick. Foreign women are still women. Eddie Murphy warned us about this 35 years ago. “Last week she was wearing a zebra skin and had a bone in her hair. This week she’s hired a LA divorce lawyer and is shouting I WANT HALF, EDDIE!”
However, the divorce rate is much more questionable. The 50% divorce rate in America is a lie (just talk to people and check the numbers yourself . . . seems like pretty much everyone’s been divorced), so I don’t trust any of the stats on divorces in East Asian countries either.
Because they omit the men that got divorce but remarries.
40% of marriage is remarriage. C~~~lington post says so, assuming that it is true, then from the 50% still married men 20% of them has experience divorce.
Thus from 100% of men who marries, 70% experience divorce.
That is if the number is as low as the mainstream media claims.There is no magic in MGTOW, just recognition of the truth and logical decision how to avoid dangers. The red pill is but the truth, it is no magical potion. Do not think in this modern world men have no longer have natural enemies, men are prey to women and government.
The real reason, and the only reason, Asian women don’t initiate divorce in their countries is because they simply do not gain from such action. They gain more by having you around. That’s it. All that culture and gender roles that you mentioned are complete nonsense.
It’s the same reason why an Asian woman, or any woman, would marry anybody in the first place.
Once they’re in a position where they can gain more by divorcing you, it’s done. It’s just that simple.
Simply Briffault’s Law: “The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.”
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
I’m talking about the real Asian experience: Asian women in Asian countries that marry Asian men.
That is fair enough. But my original post was about my friend/colleague who married someone who was a different country, language, nationality and from a different culture (i.e. foreign as far as my friend was concerned). His view was marrying someone who appeared to be from a place where he would be treated better than a lass from the UK. Granted it was his perception/observation.
He was sadly mistaken. The system in the UK screwed him regardless of who he married and from where.
The real reason, and the only reason, Asian women don’t initiate divorce in their countries is because they simply do not gain from such action.
Not disagreeing with this point, but the question to ask is why don’t they gain from such action (not what the nature of women is..that was well said by Rangerzone).
Simply Briffault’s Law: “The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.”
I am under no illusion that marrying a woman of a different nationality is just as perilous as marrying from the UK…probably worse, because you have to detail all your assets, income, and savings to the legal system in one simple file to bring her over.
The moral for my friend was that marrying someone from a different nationality, culture, etc because he perceived she was less likely to be money grabbing and with a sense of entitlement that is so prevalent with women from the UK, was sadly wrong. Worse still, he brought her back to to UK, where the full force of the law was brought down on him and attempted to strip him of all he had.
D. G. I. Don't. Get. Involved. (Be happy, and stress not)
Lots of Asian women treat foreigners a lot better than they treat their own race
Yes this I found to be true. In my travels, from Japan, Singapore, China, Thailand, Hong Kong, they seem to have the image that men from US/UK/Canada etc are thought to be better ‘gentlemen’ i.e. suckers – who will treat them better and expect less than their men from their own countries – who they perceive as treating them ‘badly’.
However Japanese and Korean women don’t normally (there are exceptions) marry foreign men(i.e. of, from, in, or characteristic of a country or language other than one’s own), because society as a whole, and their elders, and the law, does not look favorably on such women and their offspring. I am sure it’s changing abit, but on the whole, I found it to be true.
I would avoid thai women though, they usually have a husband in tow, and still look to marry a expat .
D. G. I. Don't. Get. Involved. (Be happy, and stress not)
Anonymous1If Asian women are so great why is the herbivore men of Japan growing in size?
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