Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › Supposed "Red Pill" Friend of Mine Getting Married
This topic contains 20 replies, has 18 voices, and was last updated by 
sidecar 4 years, 7 months ago.
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Morning gents.
An old “friend” of mine I graduated college with last year recently texted me saying he was getting married in a few months and wants me to travel out to Colorado ( I live in New York). He wants me to be a groomsmen.
Throughout our college years I wasn’t aware of MGTOW per se, but had MGTOW tendencies and never got attached to any one particular girl. Being in a fraternity and seeing how girls acted at our parties really opened my eyes as to how dangerous and repulsive they can be.
Anyways, this “friend” of mine got p~~~ed that I didn’t respond to the text after two days. The girl he’s marrying was in our graduating class and puts up a good front as a “classy” girl. I’ve seen her let loose at our parties though, and if he knew what she had been up to back then, I think he’d be re-thinking this whole marriage thing.
Here’s the point. Upon graduating and before he moved out to Colorado, to my surprise he started to discuss red pill ideas and how he hated that the system was so skewed towards women’s favor, etc. All of a sudden in a year’s time, he’s a blue pill mangina and expects me to show up to a wedding to a woman I despise and is highly offended that I’m not the least interested. After speaking with him on the phone about not wanting to go, I could hear his fiance in the background saying that I should “grow up” and, stop complaining and go out there to support them for something that meant so much to the two of them.
Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to go? A plane ticket from NY to Colorado costs money, this will eat into my vacation time, and I’d have to spend money on a wedding gift. I’m put in the unfortunate position of severing a friendship with this brainwashed guy and I’m sure his fiance is feeding him lies and deceit to paint me out as one of “those” guys. I feel something akin to a duty to do something to awaken him from the dream he’s living in but at the same time, he is a grown man making his own decisions. Where is the boundary and is it even my business to further explain how he’s getting hoodwinked and is in for a very, very bad time down the line?
He knows about marriage statistics and that a man can lose half of his things in a divorce but that’s about as far as he has delved into the rabbit hole. I’m tempted to link him to this site but it might be Too much for him and it’s entirely possible he’ll label mgtow as “fanatical”.
By the way, we are both 22 and she is 23.
Marriage is the disease, divorce is the cure. MGTOW is the vaccine.
Morning dude.
I didn’t go to my best friends wedding. Nuff said. We are friends since 6 years old and for 21 years now.
His wife is a classic lazy bitch and he always knew how I felt about marriage/avoided relationships overall so he didn’t invite me, and now year after (and you can read about it in a thread I made) he sees what I saw, and Is miserable with his wife that doesn’t work, gets fat and uses economical, psychological violence against him and the child (which was used to marry my friend).
I never attended weddings, and didn’t go in depth in to all my other friends relationships and never was a part of it. Especially as some of my friends date a new girl every year or so, I didn’t care to learn the names of the girlfriends aswell.
In the end you have to decide (Yes/No):
1) do you care for him enough, is he a true friend, do you want to support him in life even if you know he makes a mistake and marries her ?
2) his reaction to you not attending the wedding, will he understand you or at least still be your friend ?
3) do you care if you don’t contact each other anymore and end your “friendship”?
4) economical factor and emotional factor of what you personally feel, is it worth it for you to waste money and energy on that bitch and slavery celebration, and play a part of it ?
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Well I do think you are at least not being selfish lets be honest here if he knew that you were and are against marriage and he gets married texting you, not even personally calling you to be there for him that is like a slap in the face and if you slap someone else you better damn well expect to be slapped back.
But for that that is not always the best option so I will go with what FullMetalExo said
1. Is he a true friend? will he stay loyal to you through thick and thin if so then yes you should definitely support him in whatever decision he makes after advising him on what you think is the best plan.
2. In the end how much you care is all that matters if you know he is a true friend or not this is what should let you decide whether or not to go (if you can).
This is what I think at least, take from it what you can.For the rest good luck with anything you plan to do! Go your own way oh enlightened one 😉
I think you owe it him to go and prevent such a travesty from happening. He was a red piller so it’s quite possible that you can raise the dormant red piller in him.
Go, ride like a Death Knight, slay the one headed Hydra (the Bride), and come back here with your friend to celebrate.Send a present and save the airfare.
Either say you can’t get the time as you’ve planned a vacation later …. or just plain tell him …… I can’t witness a good friend going to the crusher …… but I’ll always be here if things don’t work out.
Once he’s married she’ll cut him off from you anyway. She can’t have witnesses to her asset seizures.
Anonymous5You are never going to see this guy again. And even if you do, he is now a pussywhipped bitch and won’t be allowed to have any fun.
Cut your loss and tell him to grow up and be a real man. He doesn’t need a female in his life especially when she will soon turn fat and never put out.
Just link him to MGTOW/this thread.
In the end how much you care is all that matters if you know he is a true friend or not this is what should let you decide whether or not to go (if you can).
I see your point, but how should we support someone even we care about, at 100% of the time, even if they do something dumb or something we can’t morally accept ourselves to do ?
Liking and supporting a friend for me stays separate from liking and supporting some situation. Some things I just cant say Yes to.
I hope I explained my point well enough mate. I could go in some theoretical bizzare situations for examples if you want 😀
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You are never going to see this guy again. And even if you do, he is now a pussywhipped bitch and won’t be allowed to have any fun. Cut your loss and tell him to grow up and be a real man. He doesn’t need a female in his life especially when she will soon turn fat and never put out. Just link him to MGTOW/this thread.
I love this, Im too soft for it with people, and telling the truth 100%, but if we go by “not everyone will be your friend in life” this situation, this is perfect.
Rough and honest.
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Send a present and save the airfare.
Either say you can’t get the time as you’ve planned a vacation later …. or just plain tell him …… I can’t witness a good friend going to the crusher …… but I’ll always be here if things don’t work out.
Once he’s married she’ll cut him off from you anyway. She can’t have witnesses to her asset seizures.
That’s what I’d do, a present, a nice card, and be done with it. Frankly, the card is sufficient. Most wedding presents end up gathering dust on the bottom shelf of a kitchen cabinet anyway.
“I regret I am unable to attend,” is a complete sentence in the English language and an appropriate response to a formal RSVP. You do not owe them excuses or explanations. A text message is not even close to formal, even these days, but it does hint as to how you will be treated in the future.
Yep, if she is typical, she will cut him off from all his old friends. It won’t matter if you were there or not.
Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?
Send him a MGTOW business card with a C-note stapled one corner and double back taped (small piece) to the other. The tactile aspect will lock in his mind what’s written on the back, “You’ll always be his friend.”
Heck, $200, 400…..so he knows money is not the core issue, your warning him is.
“girl he’s marrying was in our graduating class and puts up a good front as a “classy” girl. I’ve seen her let loose at our parties though, and if he knew what she had been up to back then, I think he’d be re-thinking this whole marriage thing.”(-1) PRINT this, scroll it and stick it inside a fortune cookie. Pay for “person to person -only” courier delivery of this.- considering she eaves drops,”I could hear his fiance in the background saying that I should “grow up” (-2)and stop complaining (-3)and go out there to support them(her -4) for something that meant so much to the two of them.” …………………..[set the example and do whatever she tells you to. hah]
I’m put in the unfortunate position of severing a friendship with this brainwashed guy and I’m sure his fiance is feeding him lies and deceit to paint me out as one of “those” guys. I feel something akin to a duty to do something to awaken him from the dream he’s living in.
If the shoe were on the other foot would you want him to tell you what lurks beneath? “and is it even my business to further explain how he’s getting hoodwinked and is in for a very, very bad time down the line?”
Do the right thing
"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
He doesn’t need a female in his life especially when she will soon turn fat and never put out.
Yeah, write that s~~~ in your RSVP note! No matter how disappointed with you he is, those words will ring in his head until the bitter end. And he will be a way better friend to you when his sham of a marriage hits the rocks. Best buds tell the truth. It’s tough though.
Getting married in your early 20s is akin to going to the Arctic Circle in shorts and a tank top. 100% failure. Most 20-somethings are just learning to do their own laundry, are buried in student debt, insurance lapsing on their car, and barely staying up on the rent. Sounds like a great f~~~ing time to marry a leech, bring another kid in the world, and assume her bills for going on marathon shoe-shopping sprees. Not to mention all the fun the divorce will be in 3 years time. Tell your friend that when he signs that “marriage license” that it is a contract, not with her, but with the State that says his life, his money, his dreams, his ideas, his hobbies, his interests, and his time is not his anymore…but the State’s. And when he steps out of line those things that are his today are the State’s tomorrow. She loses nothing and gains everything. He loses everything. What a sucker.
Most wedding presents end up gathering dust on the bottom shelf of a kitchen cabinet anyway.
Ever see a wedding registry that has anything listed in it any guy would want? If so, you likely won’t see it twice.
The last wedding I attended was 15 years ago, at the insistence of my then-girlfriend who was trying to nail me down. It was a for male friend of mine, and the GF and I went out to gift shop. I took one look at the registry and said “f~~~ this, Geoff didn’t sign up for any of this s~~~” and proceeded to buy a gift that I specifically knew Geoff would want, without regard for his wife-to-be. My reasoning was 99% of the gifts will be for her, let mine be for him. My GF thought I was being a dick (which I took as a red flag) for not buying what the fiance wanted, but Geoff was pleased as hell when he saw that gift. After that, Geoff’s new slavemaster effectively forbade him from interacting with me.
If your friend marries this bitch, you are f~~~ing toast to him one way or the other, unless he pulls the wool from his eyes before he pulls that noose around his neck. Tell him sorry but you can’t make it, send him a gift for him only, and let it ride. People need to learn from their mistakes. Her saying that you need to grow up is nothing but a way to shame you into also doing what the hell she commands. She’s nothing but a f~~~ing bitch.
If you are MGTOW when you are young you have no heart.
If you're not MGTOW when you are 20 you have no brain.Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to go? A plane ticket from NY to Colorado costs money, this will eat into my vacation time, and I’d have to spend money on a wedding gift.
It’s simple. You can’t afford it. So don’t go.
I’m put in the unfortunate position of severing a friendship with this brainwashed guy and I’m sure his fiance is feeding him lies and deceit to paint me out as one of “those” guys.
Any “man” who would cut you off because you don’t spend hundreds of dollars on a present for “him” is not worth knowing. Tell him you’re declining the wedding invitation, but you’ll be there for him WHEN (not if) she divorces him and takes his house, kids, half his stuff, and most of his income for the next 18-23 years (minimum).
I have real friends who are married. NOTICE how I didn’t put “quotes” around the word “friends”?
You are just an “accessory” for the wedding ceremony.
You got notified via text? nuff said.
You are 22…you owe him nothing and have your own beliefs. If he can’t respect it, he doesn’t respect you.
SAVE YOUR MONEY
20-30 years old is a time when most guys lose their blue pull friends to the marriage trap.
I go to the bachelor parties, warn him of his impending doom, and do not go to the wedding.
ILiveAgain is correct, after the wedding you will never see him again. Save the $ mail a man present and wave goodbye forever!
I will take my priceless freedom and you can keep your bridezilla day. Screw that..
If you do not want to go and you think it’s a bad thing why go?Why endorse it?If you care for your friend is’t all the more reason not to go.Currently you are the embodiment of his inner voice that desires freedom.You don’t need to argue with him you needn’t even speak to him, he’ll understand absolutely everything you want to tell him just by not going.
Try not to make it look like a confrontation, and try not to be insulting, but be clear about what your stance is.
Anonymous11She’s probably the one pushing for you to go there. It’s a serious imposition to expect someone to spend money traveling 2500 odd miles and lost time to honor such a trite thing.
Just send him a card and a token gift. If you don’t want to go, feel no shame in following your own road. She’ll put the clamps on him anyway so it’s not like he’ll be of much value to you.
If you don’t want to buy a ticket, don’t buy it. Tell him you aren’t for marriage, and you don’t like here, and you don’t want to be in the same room as her. Take ownership of your life, and realize you can lose friends in the process.
One reason why I ask about if MGTOW is MGTOW because of NAWALT or societial rules, or one goes MGTOW even if good women were abundant and rules were different is that makes it important to think about positive reasons you will go MGTOW, rather than lack. The thing that will happen is that, as you run into women, wants and needs you have will kick in and you compromise, or in the dating scene, the woman will fake things to get you to spend time with her, act all nice, play on your needs. Unless you have strong reasons to stand on your convictions, you will decide to go back and get married. All the talk of red pill is just bluster and TFL rationalizing for why you are alone and using MGTOW as a coping mechanism for what you don’t have.
Anyhow, I say to let him go, and leave it at that. Being MGTOW is going to get grief all over. You could email him the Ghosts of Girlfriends Past video clip.
Ok, let me give one hypothetical of my life and what I do. My brother married a woman who is an uberbitch as far as I am concerned. For the sake of my parents, both laid up in the hospital from a car accident, I went to a second wedding of my other brother, to get them part of the wedding cake, and attend for them. I didn’t get much sleep and drove up. I told everyone at the table I was about to dose off, and if it was ok. I explained I only had a few hours sleep, and needed to rest. Everyone was fine. But the uberbitch comes over and reads me the riot act about this. I left and went out to the car to take a nap.
Let’s say here, in this, that for some odd reason I end up getting married, and have a wedding. You know what, the uberbitch would not be invited to the wedding at all. I would let my borther know she is not invited, and I don’t want her anywhere near the place. No way it happens. I remember this, and in no way would I have her pollute things. Now, is this going to happen? I don’t see myself ever marrying now, but it is out there.
Do what you think makes sense, but expect to lose friends in the process. I would say a useful skill developing going MGTOW is to be as immune as possible to social pressures. It is your life after all.
"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.
as mentioned by others – send a present. Like an iron, one which he will end up using. Or – a gift card from a divorce lawyer, you could get really creative here…..
Save your time & money. Also, you may as well delete his number. you will never hear from him again.
I simply refuse to go to weddings, not only because its scam – but frankly after (literally) flying all around the world (from Australia) in my 20’s & early 30’s – because “it was the right thing to do” (read: guilt) noting at the time I had NO MONEY. Now that my mates are all got on with careers / good jobs etc, well I didn’t even hear from them on my 40th. not even a 25c f~~~ing call. Fly all around the world, organise bucks nights, MC their demise & for what?
You, my friend don’t have a vagina and even though he’s ya best mate – for some its big second place to promised land of flange.
you going to a wedding is like christ going to a hanging..send a card..tell em to ” enjoy the gift ” .. forget to put ” gift ” in card.. take that c-note and put your dick in a professionals mouth ! enjoy ! .
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