stuff to say

[GoodWomenAreUnicornsParticipant 9]

Felt like ranting tonight.

Just think about it… enduring all the things you have had to, to get where you are now.  Struggling against some stressor or some invisible antagonist. Kind of gets super boring listening to my own issues or my friends’ nowadays. You sit and listen to them and yourself feeling there is some way to “fix” things or make everything fit into some dream of what you think is a comfortable life.

Maybe “comfortable” is the real problem.

Then you take a gamble and try to see what the F~~~ everyone had been talking about (dude, she’s awesome. She even knows what beer I like and I didn’t have to tell her)

<span style=”line-height: 1.5;”>It’s like spending 10 years studying our electromagnetic field on earth and suddenly it shifts. Your compasses point south and you’re p~~~ed off because left is right and down is up and your toilet is flushing the opposite direction. </span>

So you’re displaced, angry, and now no one is on your side. Because there were a metric ton of sheep telling you that you don’t know what you want, however they knew exactly what you needed.

It’s not only friends. It’s movies, tv, video games, radios ads.

All of this garbage in, garbage out led me to completely napalm 8 years of my adult life. It’s finally extinguished at the age of 34.

So yeah I’m pretty annoyed and yeah, picked up an awesome alcohol addiction. I drank once a month until I started dating.

What’s the end game in the aftermath? self destruction? That’s the easy way.

I was happy today. I’ve been learning to enjoy those moments as much as possible. I had a VP of our company’s IT hold a meeting of which I’m included, and I contribute. This company trusts me and holds me in high regard because I’m honest in bringing quality to our customers.

It’s not the first time! I’ve been here before landing milestone after milestone. She’s like: “you don’t talk to me about your job”. So I do. It’s basically a huge “so what” response.

Why the hell did you ask?

Turns out she really wanted to know why my confidence was bolstered. Because of course, how else would I be happy about my career unless another woman was on the same project.

You just can’t go forward in this scenario. You’re relatively stagnant regardless of skill. Just some pile of slush wishing she understood. Kind of like women did when you envisioned it years ago before you stated dating. When you were doe-eyed and young and impressionable.

 

 

[Anonymous 42]

Sounds like a polar rotation drift, reverse Coriolis? Wow did you have a bad day!

[GoodWomenAreUnicornsParticipant 9]

Lol, it’s called a metaphor brah! I’m just lost in thought a lot of days.

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

bubbles  This way of thinking worked for my anger issues, but took some amount of time. A long time for me..

I have been at a point my mind was dynamically unstoppable..It was out of control because thoughts changed before I  had time to interpret them and ask myself the meaning or ask “why the f~~~ was I  thinking like that?… I think this is normal when truth is exposed, and it differs from the ideas that was reality for you whole life…

Anger subsides in direct relation to the slow realization of your own freedom…every day you do something that your old way of thinking would not allow, is a step closer to total freedom. Stay active physically..don’t let your body get static..your mind will come around soon enough…

If I asked a multiple choice  question and provided four choices..I predict you would choose from the choices provided..In time you should realize your free to provide as many alternate choices for yourself as you desire….that realization helped with my own anger…Now I only get angry at myself for missing all the possibilities there could be for defining myself…

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

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