Stuck in a bad situation – dont know what to do

[swisscheesParticipant 77]

Hey guys,

I feel i have to share this here. I know its not a psychology site per se, but here are some very smart guys and i think/hope i can get an advice or a better sight in what to do. So:

My mainproblem is, i dont have a degree. I was working in IT (which takes here 4 years + school to have a degree) but i had to quit cause of mental reasons. It took me a long way to get where I am now and im defenitly a better person now. But, in this time, i couldnt have a decent job. I worked in my fathers company (better then doing nothing) but i quit cause A: There is not enough work for me and B: Im not stupid, the coworkers know im just there cause my father is the Boss and C: It was boring as f~~~.
Problem here is, u have to make a degree which most young people do in there early age (16-23 more or less). But im now 25 and i feel first too old to start a new one and second, u get nearly 0 money in the years before u get the degree (which means 3-4 years of depending on goverment/parents). And im sick of it. Im just a young man that wants to work and provide for himself. I dont realy care about money, but i want to pay my bills at least that by myself. Im realy lost here. Everyone tells me here: “yeah just start a new career and push through this years….and yeah then u go to school with 18 year olds BUT its not that bad blah blah”. But for me it is. Ofc its a pride thing but its more. I will feel everyday that im not worthy if u get 0 money and are constantly reminded that u are “behind”. Specialy here. No one admits its open, but everyone thinks in there back this guy is a loser. Its not that i care that much about people, but its still s~~~y. One day ago, i just mailed my application to a job which u literaly just have to f~~~ing put in new items (online shop), prices etc which even a braindead could do (no offense). But i took my pride and was thinking, better then nothing. Well, they told me they took a student not me. Ofc.
U feel like s~~~ after this. Im thinking going abroad start to work (london? australia?) but i have 0 clue how and since i dont have something to show (degree) its more or less the same again. Just wanted to write this down. Thanks for people that reading and realy care.

cheers

[WallyParticipant]

First of all your young, if you get your degree you’ll be 29. 10 years from now it won’t matter what people thought of you at the time, if it’s truly what you want. That is the main thing figure out what you want to do. But don’t be that guy at 35 who thinks I wish I got my degree but I was worried people would see me as a loser for going back to school. Screw them if they did. I got my Masters degree at 29, 42 now love what I do, and I no have regrets. Hope that helps.

"what a waste of a life, to marry, give up your freedom, just for the hope of not dying alone. Don't get married Son."

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Everything you’ve said is NEGATIVE.

No matter what, where, when and why … being negative from the start fks you quick smart.

There are thousands of people out there ready to beat you down. Why the fk are you doing it as well?

The first thing you change is mind set.

Look for the positives. You’re young, single and free. That is 3 things many crave.

Having a degree means fk all if everyone has one.

Give me a guy with experience any day.

In my life I’ve had to change myself totally 3 times.

Home, job, relationsits, city, country etc.

The one thing I know from all the crap ….. being positive gets rid of the pain faster and creates drive.

Don’t restrict yourself to a box. There are thousands of things you could do …. thousands.

Quick ILA job review

Truck driver, labourer, handyman, mechanic, engineer, skydive instructor, photographer, videographer, drone opperator and pilot.

I can’t for the life of me see how it all worked out or tied together but it did.

A useful lesson is learning to adapt. Men do that very well.

Look around you, it may be time to change of fk off out all together.

However, unless you become POSITIVE you are on the back foot.

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

There is not enough work for me and B: Im not stupid, the coworkers know im just there cause my father is the Boss and C: It was boring as f~~~.

Most things are boring as f~~~. Martial arts is boring as f~~~ and that’s why most people quit before getting their black belt.

Weight training is boring as f~~~ too. You know what there are people still do it in the long term.

Plenty of people are hungry for a job and you’re complaining it’s boring as f~~~.

Here is a website where they provide coaching. The first 30 minutes is free so you have nothing to lose. Give them a call and see how you can resolve this they are trained to do thing kind of thing.

Life Coaching

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

You use the word “feel” A LOT. This is the feminine go-to word to replace “is”. Change your thinking to recognizing FACTS, not FEELINGS. Facts can be dealt with objectively.
“I feel first too old to start a new one …” FEELINGS
“I’m not too old to start ANYTHING”. FACT.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[Anonymous 42]

ILiveAgain wrote:

In my life I’ve had to change myself totally 3 times.

Nicely said you downtrodden Irish bastard ILA!

I felt the same way at 25, I was a looser, no higher education, but skill out the wazoo! I moved around in automotive restoration and worked with a pretty famous guy that showed me everything in plainishing and fabricating sheetmetal skins and obsolete antique automitive hardware, and yea, motorcycle tanks.

I never gave up, I always had irons in the fire even if there was no pay, like clearing the woods and building stone walls.
Like ILA, I had to reinvent myself several times throughout my life, construction company, several automotive and antique restorations, a bodyshop, flight school, learned Spanish, and now starting a specialty fertilizer company.

And packed tightly between all my accomplishments is f~~~load of FUN and innovation!

Throwing a woman into my life would have been throwing a tow chain over high voltage lines!

ILA is right, it’s all about attitude!

[KillmandrillParticipant 497]

Recommend you to go back and pick-up your studies again. Your 25 that´s not old and why would you care about what others think of you?
Once you´ve accomplished your IT degree (Facharbeiter-/Gesellenbrief or what it´s called in Switzerland) all the doors suddenly open.
I don´t know whats the process in Switzerland, but I doubt it is so different to what it´s like in Germany.
I went through a similar process, initially a car mechanic (Geselle)at age 34. I really had to fight for (with the Arbeitsamt) to get a paid re-training from them in the IT-field due to health issues. Several tests at their facility plus 1 week in sort of an institution that goes into deep examining my capabilities (math/german skills/social competences/ physical and so on).
After finishing my apprenticeship I could not find a job in that field, till I found a company 7 years later and got into SEO. Now I am working for a big international service company in IT field support/appraising vehicles (split position) and finally earn a decent salary.
Keep on pursuing your career, it only benefits you and never stop learning.
To an employer a finished apprenticeship means that you are pursuing your goals.
A colleague of mine in the IT training was refused a job at SAP (Walldorf) because he did not finish his studies in chemistry (what he did before), they assumed that he does not have what it takes to work for them, since he does not pursue interests/tasks.

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. Friedrich Nietzsche

[Anonymous 54]

Solo MAN’S Wisdom wrote:

You use the word “feel” A LOT. This is the feminine go-to word to replace “is”. Change your thinking to recognizing FACTS, not FEELINGS. Facts can be dealt with objectively.
“I feel first too old to start a new one …” FEELINGS
“I’m not too old to start ANYTHING”. FACT.

Yes! Think only in terms of logic.Will this work,yes or no.Who care what others think. Run your own race.Some times the horse that wins ,started towards the back.

[Silverstone the SecondParticipant]

Pride holds you back, man. The world’s a very competitive place, and to get a job and get ahead in it, you gotta go outside of your comfort zone. It sucks, but it pays off in the end. Who gives a f~~~ what other people think? Hell, if you’re like most people, you don’t talk to 99% of the people you went to high school with. S~~~ happens, things change, and soon they aren’t even a part of your life without you knowing it or even trying to make it that way. You can’t be liked and loved and popular and all that. You’re there to get your degree and get a job. Who the f~~~ cares what these people think of you?

I say go for it man, just know that life changes. Where were you 5 years ago? 10 years ago? And so on. The same amount of stuff can change in another 5 or 10 years. A great deal of stuff can happen.

Feminism is a movement where opinions are presented as facts and emotions are presented as evidence.

[Sam FisherParticipant 206]

Hey man,

I can somewhat relate to you, but my regrets and contention of my situation was more based on logic, rather than emotion.

I myself majored in marketing (focusing more on the digital media, so I picked up a whole lot of subjects focusing on web development and programming, as well as filmography and radio industry related subjects). On graduation day, I felt nothing but apathy throughout the ordeal as all I was doing was kicking myself silly over giving up on my engineering studies (you can check out my thread about it for full context, in short, I was immature at the time and didn’t appreciate the opportunity that was given to me at the time.) I’m 25 too, the average work life is about 75 years now, but can be less if you’re good at saving your money. ANYWAY, in summary, don’t be afraid. You see that wall of self-doubt in front of you? Get a sledgehammer and slam it down – because in reality, it’s just made of brittle materials, not solid concrete. Look at it as the universe’s way of f~~~ing with you – it’s trying to see if you are for real.

Go back to school, work a simple, cruisey job for one day a week, save some pocket money, cook meals you can eat two or three days in a row. Go to a gym, one that has weights and running machines, even showers, cheap membership, and lift. Also, read threads about success stories of people, read books on subjects of interest (entrepreneurship is an interest of mine).

As well as that, if university is not an option, get certifications that are relevant to your niche in IT. I’m tossing up between CCNA and Software Development. I want to learn coding myself first, and read a book or two on computational theory before I consider getting another, and more relevant degree in either CompSci, CompEng or ElecEng. There is always a way out and around things… we’re men, it’s what we do. If advancement in life regardless of the odds of the world wasn’t in our nature, we wouldn’t be driving cars, having warm showers, cooking great food in under 30 minutes, developing and playing videogames, or even chatting over this forum.

Exercise, read, write down great ideas that go through your head, save up cash, have a hobby or two, and always look out for opportunities… whatever they are.

University is not the end all be all either… Tesla was an engineering school dropout, and he created things a lot of people wouldn’t even think of in a thousand years. Just work at it, and put all you can into it. We’re all going to depart someday, so we may as well rattle the cage, f~~~ s~~~ up, work hard, and party as hard as we can. It’s only too late when you’re 6-feet underground.

If you want some good and motivation MGTOW material, check out these channels:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqOhO22rFqzvrVYZDh8dWbw

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZrMKcDNPruX8ltP0Y0pOTw

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