Home › Forums › Blue Pill Hell › Stop being a gentleman!
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Rennie 4 years, 11 months ago.
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I am going to begin this post with a question.. What exactly is a Gentleman..?
We all have a preconceived notion of what the term “Gentleman” actually means but they all seem to differ, and in my opinion, are all equally stupid.
A “Gentleman” is expected to open the door for a woman, wait by the car door to open it for a woman, pay for a woman’s meal, and essentially lay down for a woman out of some ill advised belief that women are somehow superior? I realize at first glance it seems like men are supposed to do this because we are, in most cases, physically stronger and are supposed to take control of a situation. With that said, women don’t allow any man to take control of any situation anymore. All these gestures are insinuating is that women are superior to men. Women deserve to have the door held open, women deserve to have their dinners paid for… WHY?!
The answer I hear most often is “well that’s just how I was raised and the way things are.” How stupid of an answer is that? Some people are raised to join Al Qaeda and fly planes into buildings. Some people are raised to put on a white hood and join the KKK. Being “raised” a certain way doesn’t mean it is the right way, that is a bulls~~~ philosophy.
The idea of a Gentleman was brought about in a completely different era. A Gentleman made sense when women didn’t have the right to vote, were forced to stay home and cook/clean, weren’t allowed to work, etc. What do we have now days? More women are going to college than men, they are paid just as much, more and more female executives are entering major company roles, and the household dynamic has flipped 180 degrees. Women don’t stay home and cook or take care of their husband the way they did in the past when they deserved to be treated by a Gentleman. They have changed, so the idea of a Gentleman should therefore be thrown out the door.
This begs the question, why is the idea of a Gentleman still around? It is completely outdated and ridiculous. The fact is, women are now reaping all of the benefits of a “feminist society,” yet they are also still keeping all the benefits they had in a previous era. Sounds like a win win for women and Vice Versa for men.. In the society that we live in, why do women deserve some sort of special treatment? If all of the feminists are fighting for equal rights for men and women, why are we still acting like gentleman? we’re all equal right? Why aren’t women opening the door for us?
Women love to complain about sexism, lack of equal pay, they want everything equal.. until they use the quote “well he’s supposed to do that because he’s the man” and it is completely acceptable. How p~~~ed off do all of these women get when we say “well make me a sandwich, you’re supposed to do that because you’re the woman.” Women absolutely HATE being told to “make me a sandwich,” why should this be any different?
I’m going to stretch this even further.. Everyone remembers the movie theater shooting back in 2012 in Aurora Colorado right? Clearly this was a tragedy and I am not going to comment on the incident. What I am going to bring up are the guys who laid on top of their girlfriends to risk their lives for them. I get it, it sounds prestigious to be a hero and lay your life down for your girlfriend but guess what? He’s dead now. She’ll move along quickly and probably has another boyfriend by now. The guy’s life is now over because he was trying to be a “Gentleman.” Why is her life more important than his? The answer is simple.. It isn’t.
Guys.. Stop using being a “Gentleman” as an attempt at bolstering your ego. You are gaining absolutely nothing other than respect from a couple of 70 year old ladies who believe you are a “nice young man.” Being a Gentleman is going to turn you into a pussy who puts women on a pedestal and guess what, she’s just going to cheat on you with a bad boy down the road. Everyone knows being a gentleman doesn’t get you laid anyway.. get a motorcycle, some tattoos, a “dangerous” demeanor, and maybe even a “good looking” mugshot, if you want to do well with women. If you want to be her gay friend, keep opening those doors and paying for dinners… pussies..
I both agree and disagree with your post on gentlemen.
As you state the old social rules such as: holding doors, paying for meals, etc. are redundant. They are out-dated and a hinder to men.
If women are those independent, strong people they claim to be let them pay themselves, let them hold their own doors.
I don’t argue that.But gentlemen where more than just men who followed these social rules.
Gentlemen were also well-educated, cultured, civilised men of means and status. Whats wrong about that?
Wouldn’t men be better off with a higher enrolment rate in universities?
Wouldn’t it be better if we actually had means instead of having it all taken away by some slut?
Shouldn’t we all strive to act somewhat civilised (to both men and women because we can make a point without throwing a fit).
Isn’t competition, such as competition for the best status in a group, something inherently male?
I think these are the traits a true gentlemen should aim for, not some laughable obsolete social code.What I’m trying to say is; be a true gentleman, not the gentleman that women want.
Be that educated wealthy gentleman, not that personal bitch of an ATM that the old social rules want.
Be an actual gentleMAN, not a pussy.@ivaldir – I see where you are coming from and I should probably clarify my use of the word “Gentleman.” This post was directed toward the female version of a gentleman, not the type of gentleman you describe. A Gentleman, by definition is “chivalrous” which I absolutely refuse to be in a society where chivalry is another word for being taken advantage of by women.
If you are referring to the word gentleman as a way to describe a refined man, then I absolutely agree with you.
I agree fully with your viewpoint, the chivalrous woman serving door mats are not something to look up to. But I’ve always strived to the I completely agree with your opinion concerning the chivalrous doormats.
The reason I posted my reply was because being a true gentlemen (in the sense of being a man of both wealth and status, someone other men can look up to) has for a long time been a personal goal. Therefor I wanted to add a little differentiation between the majority of chivalrous doormats and the few who are gentlemen without actually losing their manhood.
That said, I hope that with what I learn here I can be a better gentleman, and a better example for my fellow men.
I couldn’t agree more! I believe that is the goal for all of the men on this board. Striving to be successful in attaining both wealth and status without giving any of it to parasitic females! Welcome to the boards Ivaldir!
I got my first real lesson in being a gentleman in my first week at college. I held a door for a woman. I was in a hurry, so I didn’t stay for all of the tirade. I did begin teaching myself to abandon the courtesies that were drilled in me since childhood.
Kudos to T-Bow for articulating all of that above. Nailed it!
You gents might enjoy this clip.If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Great insight!
I never did like the modern definition of the word “gentleman” meaning wussy.However, what I do like and also is very interesting is the real meaning of gentleman as it was originally used:
If we trace etymology or the beginning of the meaning of the word “gentleman”..from etymonline.com
gentleman (n.)
“well-born man,” early 13c., from gentle + man.The Gentleman is always truthful and sincere; will not agree for the sake of complaisance or out of weakness ; will not pass over that of which he disapproves. He has a clear soul, and a fearless, straightforward tongue. On the other hand he is not blunt and rude. His truth is courteous; his courtesy, truthful; never a humbug, yet, where he truthfully can, he prefers to say pleasant things. [J.R. Vernon, “Contemporary Review,” 1869]
Related: Gentlemen. Gentleman’s agreement is first attested 1929. Gentleman farmer recorded from 1749.
Notice, that the definition says nothing about female, woman, or feminine. By this definition, the today’s world
it means merely manners, courtesy, politeness, and being civil.No, I wouldn’t throw my jacket into a puddle, but I would grab the arm or say ‘watch out’.
But from the above definition of the word that stems from the 13th Century.. as men, we have allowed the definition
to change. So with the original definition, is that bad? So if a man was taught to be courteous, clear, fearless, straightforward, and
truthful, then how did we turn gentleman into a bad word?I like being a gentleman.
The way i see it, i do everything right and treat them right.
If women are horrible and want to bitch about it (there’s always something wrong), at least it’s not my fault.
Then again, i don’t want to overdo it. I like being nice, and that’s it.This girl i used to date was observing men and taking notes on everything they did wrong.
Her mother had brainwashed her into thinking they wouldn’t be good enough if they didn’t hold the chair for her to seat.
Coming for a single women who got a baby out of wedlock with some african guy who’s now homeless,
i think that was really not appropriate…This does not make sense at all. You be the man and act in a way that you want. You don’t be a gentleman to impress a lady. You be the gentleman because it is your choice. What’s up with this being successful with the girl? Is this the only way that can validate you as a man? Are you going to change your character just because some chick dump you for some other guy?
The problem is with being a doormat or to cling on a woman beyond reasonable efforts. Be assertive, crystal clear about your expectations, respectful, nice, dare to talk in PERSON and selfless. I can’t tell you how wonderful (from moderate looking to hot as hell) women you would get to meet and have quality time with them (it does include sex).
Being gentleman has nothing to do with your success ratio with girls. Let’s say you slept with 100,000 women and I slept with only 10 or so. Is this make you more of a man than me? Am I going to feel inferior? Hell no! When I judge my life, I do count many more factors which includes good relationships as well but not limited to it. I open the door not only for girls but for everybody. It is in my blood and I do enjoy doing it. I dont need to get sex to validate myself in return. If I hold a door for the pregnant lady or help a man with too many grocery bags makes me less of a man?
Respect is earned, to do it give respect to get respect. Period. I dont need to tell about my women. I never have had period in my life where I didnt have had access to the intimacy so I dont know what is the problem with being gentleman? We should also stop all the charity or donating thing all together, after all if we can support ourselves why cant they, right?
This is my opinion only or how I live my life. Being gentleman is about how do you really enjoy yourself and let other people enjoy your company without sacrificing any of your need.
I was raised in the South to be a gentleman… to be polite, well mannered and positive… ostensibly to make my presence something that others would find pleasant and enjoyable. I later realized, however, that my upbringing as a gentleman was meant to instill the idea that my role in society was, in fact, not to become a better person for myself but rather so that I might sacrifice myself for the needs of others.
Whether to give up my coat to a date who neglected to prepare for herself or to lay down my life for a woman whose potential to create a new life is more valuable than my own, the purpose of gentlemanly behavior… the entirety of moral and ethical behavior in general… was directed at making things better for others at my own expense.
I don’t mean that in a “golden rule” kind of way either. I believe in the value of law and civilized behavior but never in my experience has “being a gentleman” been about me working to improve myself for my own betterment and the maximization of my own potential and quality of life or of treating others in such a way as to allow them to do the same for themselves. As I’ve said elsewhere, I was raised to believe that I am only worthy when I am giving of myself to people who want and “need” what I can produce… that is to say women and children and the “less fortunate”… and that fair trade with other men of good standing, strength and character does not count as a moral or ethical good.
I got my lesson in what being a gentleman means in the modern world when I first moved to San Francisco. I boarded a street car near the beginning of its run and took a seat which I later offered to a woman holding a bag of groceries who had boarded a few stops down the line. In my mind, I was young, unburdened and perfectly capable of standing whild she was older and carrying an awkward load so I felt it was proper to sacrifice my comfort and enjoyment so that she might not have to struggle. As you might imagine, my gesture was met with a cold stare and an angry remark that she could stand on her own and that I was a chauvinist for suggesting otherwise.
How was it, I thought, that I could be both self-sacrificing and arrogant to this woman at the same time? Clearly she thought my offer of aid and comfort was demeaning and I realized in that moment the truth that people who sacrifice of themselves are not respected and appreciated, they are resented. Well, maybe it took a few more figurative slaps to the face to really drive the point home but that was the beginning.
Now if I choose to offer something of myself, I do it with full knowledge of and willingness to account for what I intend to receive in return. So no, I am not a “gentleman” foolishly sacrificing myself for the benefit of others… and I’m not a “gentleman” measuring myself by other people’s opinions of my refinement and erudition. I do what I want and judge myself by my own standards and if I open a door or give up a seat or pick up a tab, it’s because I am making an investment that I expect will pay a meaningful return.
How many men died on the TITANIC because they followed the “gentleman code of conduct” and let all the women have first crack at the boats? At least 75 percent of the 705 survivors were women. The rest were men who had to crew the boats, a few dozen that were lucky to board two of the collapsible canvas boats—one upside-down and the other one damaged and water-swamped, and a few lucky ones to dive off the ship and into the water close enough to the boats. The rest of the men were forced to “die like gentlemen” by standing there on the tilting decks in dinner jackets(well, the first-class ones)and watching their only chance at survival disappear.
Enough men in history have died being chivalous gentlemen giving women a chance to live. Many of them soldiers, pilots, and sailors so that their country and their women couldn’t be conquered by a different empire. Let the women cry about the lack of “gentlemen.” They have evolved into feminism, we have evolved to the point of where we no longer give a f~~~ what happens to them. But I think most of us wouldn’t stand to let a child face the same fate and that we’d still risk our lives to save them.
They can have chivalry from a ‘gentleman’ or equality from a peer, but not both. As far as I’m concerned, they’ve made their choice.
Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you
2nd that exactly.
Women can have differential treatment… or they can have “respect”. They can NOT. HAVE. BOTH. And not because we said so, but because it’s not a sustainable situation. You cannot have even have a personal relationship with a woman who wants her independence but then you should pay for her meal? Women expecting both are f~~~ing dreaming. They have lost all ability to bond with men in any meaningful way.
And it’s not Just BrianPilot’s opinion. Inspite of ALL of this – whether it’s true and you agree or not – women continue to VOTE to be as unaccountable as 5 year olds in the legal system. It is IMPOSSIBLE to “respect” that s~~~.
That’s like watching a toddler play with a loaded gun.
HORRIFYING.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.This is not so true. You can not take a most suitable evacuation method to make a point. It is based on whole different thing. Anyway why so much anger and disrespect for women? Yeah, I guess you would not give a f~~~ about your mother or sister getting hurt and let any man do whatever he wants to do as he is just being a man right? You know dont stand up for them and let them figure out the s~~~ on their own, Who cares what they have to suffer right? You make sure you slap him hard if he dares to open a door for your daughter. Let him beat her and you dont do nothing after all she SHOULD be able to defend herself, right? Its free world.
Nobody ever said that being a good person is going to be EASY. Its not an easy thing at all. Its up to you if you want to turn into an animal just like them or want to do your own thing regardless of what other may think of it. I feel sorry for your lady man. I hope at least you love her the way she deserves. Enjoy.
Anonymous42<cite>@nick001 said:</cite>
Anyway why so much anger and disrespect for women?Because the p~~~ us off with their outrageous bull-s~~~, and what f~~~ing fool in his right can respect the atrociously disrespectful? Not f~~~in ME!
Anonymous42I guess you would not give a f~~~ about your mother or sister getting hurt and let any man do whatever he wants to do as he is just being a man right?
Mother f~~~ing Theresa? No! Crack momma with 7 CRACK babies,all costing the state 250,000.oo annualfor each one! Man you sound like a GIRL! Always deflecting and redirecting others to your worship of the ALL MIGHTY VIRGINA! You are lucky my B-36 bomb-bay doors are jammed!
Hmm I wonder how many of the lifestyle websites for women are teaching them to be lady-like?
http://www.submissivewife.org/
Except that it’s a BDSM site. It’s interesting that it’s a fetish to treat men well (granted, this is treating men overly well).
Anger and disrespect toward women? My post goes far beyond any form of anger or disrespect toward those of the opposite sex. I am touching on the idea that men are flat out EXPECTED to perform certain duties for women, when women have done absolutely nothing to deserve it.
You bring up the idea that my point of view would be different if this were in regard to my “mother or sister.” Infact, you are right. I clearly stated that being a Gentleman made sense in a generation when women did not have the rights that they do now. Women like my mother don’t exist any longer, any man who thinks that they do is a fool. We are left with the type of women who spend all day at home, living off of a man’s money, taking selfies and posting them on Facebook to the 1,000 friends that she has, 959 of which are male friends or ex-boyfriends.
At NO point have I, nor will I, reference physical violence. I would not “slap him hard” if my theoretical daughter’s boyfriend did not open the door for her. I also never referenced ANYWHERE in this post that letting someone beat a woman is acceptable. Physical violence toward ANYONE (man or woman) is far from the idea of getting rid of the bulls~~~ “Gentleman” cliche. You are simply stretching the idea of NOT being a gentleman to assaulting women, there is a huge gray area between the two.
Being a good person and putting women on a pedestal are two completely different things. Being a Gentleman will get you absolutely nowhere with women, just ask all of the women commenting on the Jeremy Meeks mugshot how they feel about the bad boys, women LOVE them. The gentleman like you who are “respecting” women? Well, you’ll be a great, no… the PERFECT ATM machine for her in the future after she’s done with guys like me. Feel sorry for my lady (ies) all you want, I treat them all exactly how they want to be treated which, if you haven’t noticed, is like s~~~. Ask yourself, why else do they always pick the bad boy?
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