Some rant about being myself and defining myself.

[GrotesqueRogueParticipant 116]

Need to get some thoughts off the chest. Maybe, a lot of things that are not connected with each other.

I was thinking about who I am and how it influences the choices I make and what results they bring. For example, I prefer to be quiet and get s~~~ done. I can be very open about my opinions (people, as usual, find them quite radical), and all in all, I am still a soft giving guy at least half of the time.
I know that I could have changed myself in many ways and could have gotten more results, but do I really need it? I don’t know. I remember the line from “33 strategies of war”, that you learn about those strategies to not necessarily become an agressor, but to know what’s going on and how you can react to it. I guess, that one of the things MGTOW is.

Taking SMV in mind, I don’t really get laid often, which is not a problem at all, but I just realized that it actually is nice that that’s the way it happens – I don’t want to change my approach to many things. Even if I had been in the search for a NAWALT, I wouldn’t have wanted to try to pretend to be someone else to be noticed. F~~~ that s~~~.

Sure, I want to improve some areas, but, I suppose, now I have a question I have to answer to – is it really worth it? I remember Stardusk talking about people losing motivation after discovering MGTOW, and it might have happened to me. I am doing plenty of s~~~ at the moment – learning a new language, modelling, programming, reading, going to gym. But still, sometimes, in the evenings like this, I feel that most of these actions are kinda forced. I seem to be doing them to fill the void that appeared after discovering MGTOW and getting rid of the illusions I had.

I think, I am stuck with the question – what/who I am. I realized that I can’t really figure out what I really like. Sometimes one thing brings me joy, sometimes it doesn’t. I guess, it’s okay? Or sometimes, I would do smth, say, spending some time with a girl getting to know her, like when I don’t want to do anything intellectual in the evening, and just want to get some air and some talk about smth, and then she suddenly drops by, but then, looking back at it, I understand that I could have done smth more useful or spent time alone.

I feel like I am stuck with something, maybe, because I overthink so much stuff now and can’t really get smth. I need to get a life and relax without thinking about smth, and just do stuff with the knowledge I have? =D

But why am I even wondering about it? Maybe smth is missing and can’t catch what it is?

I also realize that I don’t see the hints any girls make. Never had. Even throughout my previous relationships. It’s not that I think that that’s the skill I need, but I wonder if it’s just an innate skill or you acquire it with experience?
And still, f~~~ those f~~~ing hints, be direct and don’t be a f~~~ing c~~~ about it – that’s my approach to their hints.

How do you even discover yourself? It seems to me that this is infinite process. You discover smth and then it constantly continues. But how can you see that the thing you understood is not smth you just came up with in your imagination?

Yep, that’s pretty much it.
Have a nice day, gentlemen.

[robotronParticipant 40]

I’ve had a lot of the same thoughts you’re talking about, specifically your point about feeling your actions are kind of forced. How do I handle it? I think of myself as a live dragon, an awakened spirit, a fluid entity.
But I still find myself looking for comfort sometimes; the comfort of familiarity, of conformance. Don’t think of it as end that you reach. It is a constant battle against societal programming, biology etc. You are going against the grain. I don’t think there comes a point where you can drop your guard.
MGTOW is radical, revolutionary; and all revolutions begin with a fight. When you do these things to improve yourself, you are fighting; against society and it’s expectations. You are going your own way. Because of the way we are programmed, we all experience doubt when we start to fight it. I think the reason that I felt like I was going through the motions anyway, was because I doubted the cause I was fighting for. We are not brought up to think for ourselves.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

We constantly change and evolve. The person I was 10 years ago is not who I see in the mirror today.

I seem to remember a post saying that we change significantly every 8-10 years.

Hell I have changed from 2 years ago.

We MUST evolve and adapt to circumstances. That’s how we survive.

That process of changing is not instant. We don’t wake up one morning with a new mindset. It’s a process.

Just like changing your body via working out. It’s painful … most of the time. Because that pain builds you.

Purley from an animalistic point … life is struggle and pain. The reward is adaptation and survival.

We are lucky because we also have logic and that puts us atop the food chain. Staying on top is a struggle in its own right.

It is no wonder … given all this s~~~ …. that you question yourself …. but by doing so means you also seek an answer.

That may take more time. Like an explorer searching for new lands…. it won’t happen overnight.

You are finding the new you. No maps or guides … just standing before a vast horizion.

Standing there you can think ….. fk how or where do I begin … or

Wow .. a new adventure … lets see where it leads.

You are not faulty, f~~~ed up, coward, mental and all the other shaming crap.

You are evolving to the surrounding conditions like a true king.

You are the man you are. Not the man you were.

[Anonymous 5]

Let me tell you this. Never trade eternity for the moment.

[FermatParticipant 3478]

Just don’t let anyone define you. Especially women. They enjoy assigning labels. Also cut friends from your life that do this too. Even when they are subtle about it. Society tries really hard to pigeon hole people into specific roles to increase productivity. These breeds complacency and people lose their sense of self because they were too busy letting others tell them how to live. The more snip those influences from your life the more in control of your own self you become.

I have discovered a truly remarkable list of reasons why women are not necessary for a happy life, but alas this margin is too small to contain it.

[2ravensParticipant 83]

I have issues with this also. My brother has been MGTOW for a long time and he also struggles in his mid-40’s. I think it’s because chasing/getting women and having a family consumes 110% of your time. When you don’t have that it’s a giant void that’s hard to fill. Even with all the projects and hobbies I pursue I still have plenty of nights alone wondering why I am doing any of it. I always ask myself is this something I REALLY want to do or is it because I’m bored or even worse is it somehow related to “being interesting” for women.

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