So,,,here's my story.

[GenesisParticipant 420]

It took quite a while compiling the more relevant chapters for this testimony.

But here’s my story..

From the time I was 4 years old I came to the realization that I was and would always be the black sheep of the family. I was the “mistake”….while my sister who came after me was the “blessing”. ,My responsibilities entailed being the emotional (and physical) punching bag whenever pops had more than enough of his liquor intake or whenever anything wasn’t going right in his life, being patronized and belittled for being left handed, putting my elbows at the dining table (like everyone else), coming home without his side-order of cigarettes from the shop because the store owner refused to sell them to me, being responsible for work loads far beyond my age range and being on standby when my sister needed someone to bite or to point her finger at whenever she broke or destroyed something…..I recall many instances of being sat on or suffocated for reasons left unanswered by Mommy Dearest, as well as being beaten in front of her friends for what seemed to be sheer entertainment. For a while in my childhood I started believing that this was normal….that by default I wasn’t entitled to birthday parties, friends, playtime, tons of clothes and awesome Christmas presents like my sister was and that I should keep my head facing the ground because I’m “an ugly big-headed idiot” as well as “a burden” as redundantly stated by dadz.
However that perception started to change a bit when I began working at 15. Im sure most of you here know the joy of earning your own cash for the very first few times right?…..Yea, the thought of knowing that the money you have in your savings account will be HUGE by the time you’re ready to go overseas to study at your dream college, where you’ll become an Icon in your field and maybe even make your parents proud? Well here’s a feeling you don’t ever want to experience;……after 10+ years of saving-and-saving-and-saving then winning a scholarship prize that would cover tuition fees I turn to mother dearest (Who I entrusted to take my earnings to the bank and on my account) and ask……”so how much do I have in there?” Long story short, I didn’t attend the college and the scholarship became void, needless to say that my net-worth wasn’t even close to that of a doritoes wrapper. Shame on me for trusting someone who I would always catch strangling my piggy bank ornament by the neck on numerous occasions…..but who am I to be angry at mother for spending out all my savings on……..stuff. Well not just “stuff”……apparently most of my earnings were the prevalent kick-starter for my sister’s entrepreneur business….unknown to me until recently. Unfortunately today I’m still the individual being financially sucked dry. The family of mine broke apart leaving me to attain residence with the initial motherly role who has casually quit her job in the midst of an ongoing nationwide financial/economic crisis because she felt entitled to an early retirement. Im stuck giving her money for rent, food, real and imaginary bills (Yes, imaginary bills, and OVER the actual required amount for the real bills to my recent discovery) and the occasional excuses like “my toe is hurting me, give me $200 to go to the doctor.” or “My friend wants to “borrow” some money to do……something, she’ll pay you back in a few weeks” Note that right now Im working multiple jobs everyday and being paid by the term, and not paid much at that”

Relationships? Well, I’ve for the most part of my life been the “friendzonee”, I’m the guy that has to hear about the dude from her neighborhood sucking her genitals while she is giggling on the phone with me when she rejected my request for a date only the night before. I’m the guy that musters up the courage for months/years just to say those ‘three little words’, and get a “Yea, I know :)” as a response and eventually a spammed chat box and my messenger window loaded with pics of her and a boy she met the day after…..until he screws her, breaks up with her, and we do that same process again and again. Im the guy who keeps the forced smile on my face whenever the female I invested courage/money/time/support on flaunts her engagement rings she stupidly bought for her financially decrepit-emotionally distanced soulmate and herself and constantly asks me how happy I am for her, knowing Im going to be the shoulder to cry on when he gets what he wants and leaves. I’m the guy whose lengthy romantic letters are used by the lady I dedicate them to for plagiarism when they in-turn write a love-letter to some random sap with no ambition other than spreading legs and taking names.
Ok, Ok…I definitely have been in a relationship, with a Christian girl at that…..sealing that deal seemed to be a fitting complement to a 5 year old crush since secondary school. Now I didn’t mind her forcing me into a vow of celibacy. I didn’t mind her being skeptical of us kissing for more than 2 seconds, I assumed that’s how religious girls are and besides, my mindset at that time was “OMG I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, I’m not going to let anything screw this up”. I sacrificed alot for her, Even an invitation by the Prime Minister (Basically a President of a Caribbean country) Just to spend time with her. I foolishly turned down other events for her, I even dismissed the fact that my grades were slipping a little when we were in college together. It seemed as though it was just us two vs the world…..of course until she got her cherry popped by a mini-bus conductor now turning 40 her 17 yr old ass was admiring on the side. You can imagine how troubling it was for her to tell me she cheated on me……..you know….with the blushing triumphant smile on her face and the sarcastic “Awwww” and the pat on my head when I told her how hurt I was. Foolish me decided to accept her back when she put on the crying act on the phone a few days later. Soon enough this female I rekindled a tarnished relationship with was telling me about a guy she met in town and became friends with, and asked me to come with her and him to the movies. I was appalled by the fact that she would want me to accompany her and a random guy “friend” to the movies like if I was some kind of 3rd wheel (I’m her bf dammit). I was p~~~ed off of course and she claimed I was over-reacting. Well after they went alone to the movies together and they accidentally kissed (mhmm…..accidentally), they got into an argument and he left her at the cinema. Naturally she called me crying saying that he kissed her and she yelled at him for doing so. Now I know guys……I’m an idiot, why was I still with her? Well, I guess I wanted to prove everyone wrong, I wanted to prove that my relationship can last, despite her infidelity. I wanted to believe that she would eventually become faithful…….after all, she is a religious girl, right? Who am I not to forgive her…….twice? So after that scenario I became almost emotionally numb, I didn’t want to “over-react” whenever she was boldly flirting with my friends and asking them for their numbers right in front my face. I didn’t want to “over-react” whenever she made an embarrassment of me in front of family and acquaintances. I didn’t want to “over-react” whenever she came at my house and didn’t feel like speaking to me or transferred all my phone credit to hers. The day I finally broke up with her, It resulted In her laughing in my face while I was pushing her out of my house, then her calling the cops with false allegations that I violently assaulted her (Her uncle was Commissioner of Police at that time). I almost missed my exam that day. Apparently she thought she was entitled to waltz in my home and I was supposed to leave her there to do whatever (or probably whoever) she wants. Oh and guess where she got the credit to use her phone to call the cops on me. (Well I shouldn’t be mad, after all she DID leave 35 cents out of my $10 dollars I had credited on my device.) But all irony aside, I guess I was a guy who loved too strong and found it hard to give up on people but for a while I felt as though I was totally over her….In fact 2 weeks after our break up, I recall my friend and I playing video games and he paused the game and announced that he had a confession to make…..just by mere instinct, without hearing his confession, I unpaused the game and jokingly told him “well I hope you satisfied her better than I did haha” and continued playing. (We’re not friends anymore of course) 2 years ago, she called me. I was astonished to hear her voice and I suppose some feelings came back as well. We started talking and It almost got to the point where I would finally make love to her for the very first time until she told me that she had an STD, and that (get this part Lol) I would “just have to accept her how she is now”. We don’t talk anymore because I guess being sympathetic and acknowledging her whenever I could doesn’t really tantalize her loins like a good ol’ fashioned sexual disease transmission session from one of her recent hit-and-run boyfriends would.
So yea, I’ve been single for almost 13 years. 31 now and more recent scenarios have given me an absolute distaste for women. Last story for now, I promise:
So as a music teacher I offered to take on a neighbor’s student. Now this student is a minor and has a huge reputation for promiscuity and lying. Unfortunately I didn’t know that until she flashed me a few times during my tutoring session. This resulted in me giving her a series of pep talks which at the end of it all went ignored. Now before I continue, you may ask….what do you mean by “promiscuity”…..well, I’m talking, being caught behind her school by a teacher with the father of another attendee at that same school, I’m talking about flashing in public, I’m talking about sending naked pics and nasty chat dialogue to grown men who usually buy beer and liquor at her mother’s unlicensed establishment…..but enough about that dirt. As of recent, Her mother decided that the reputation I’ve built was something her child would never amount to, so It would be only feasable to tarnish it the moment I indicate to her what her daughter had been doing during my classes. That mother-daughter duo has a history of lying for each other for pointless reasons, like their birthdays, how well her daughter is doing in school and if she puts in personal practice at home on the instrument I selflessly gave her. The new lie for the past few months is that I sexually assaulted her child, and if you guys were to hear the allegations, you wouldn’t believe them. Anyway, she even made a police report. Now the rest of that family, especially the father figure knows what she is doing, but like the puppet he is, he is on her side since she also spread a bit of scandal about him sexually assaulting the same daughter and he think’s I’m the one spreading that rumor. I’m sure it was a joy for them when the cops came at my door, slapped on the cuffs and escorted me through the neighborhood to their cars. (The cells in a police station are cold as hell, but i digress) I am expecting a hearing in a few months. From what I’ve heard, so far the daughter has been well trained to look “scared” at the sight of me, recite lines in court and heaven knows what else (probably cry on contact). In my country much of america’s policies are followed and in some cases over executed, so I’m hoping that I don’t have a jury that will believe a vile human being and her daughter at the end of it all.
Here where I live, women and females in general have this sense of over-entitlement, Once you have a vagina, you can do almost anything you want without repercussion. For example, If a woman passing you on a sidewalk comes over on your side, you better haul ass and make way for her. Even female children can humble a grown male pedestrian’s directions and they know it. Being a female gets you free rides on the bus, depending on how short your skirt is or if you know how to smile, and they are privileged to take a dump on any chivalry shown to them. Women cheating here is a norm as well, and there is even a word press article (“Naked Departure” I think its called) where bored females who like scandal give pics of their Ex boyfriends or husbands or other male politicians/artistes/personalities they don’t like (and in some cases don’t even know) to the publisher who then creates an article labeling these random guys as molesters, drug dealers, murderers, pornographers, pimps, abusers, homosexuals, frauds or anything not deemed of good regard in my country, which ofcourse results to shame and embarrasment for those guys who end up finding out about the article while browsing their facebook news feed.
Ofcourse the forementioned experience has pushed me even farther in the corner. Before It happened, I vowed to live by myself and grow old alone……Imagine how I feel toward females NOW. I can’t stand the sound of a female speaking, My head starts to hurt after 2 sentences…….their inflections of speech eventually start sound like nonsense, no kidding.
I had a friend……well, a “friend”. I was basically her dumping ground for homework from secondary school to college to university, and her confidant whenever she and her countless amount of boyfriends she chose over me got in to a dissagreement or cheated on her, as well as her mirror-mirror-on-the-wall whenever she needed the feeling of confidence and selfworth. I relayed this situation im going through to her. I couldn’t imagine the backlash I would get. It was the only thing she messaged me about that wasn’t related to homework. Whenever she was bored, she would message me just to degrade me calling me a molester and a “lonely sad f**k” just to feel a sense of triumph.” (Of course she did this when she completed university and had no more homework) It actually gave me a mental breakdown. When I got back home. I wrote her the most eloquent “f**k you” letter and eradicated her from my social circle.
I used to enjoy teaching but now any classes I have I go with the paranoid presumption that I might give my students too much homework and one might get angry and say I did something vile to them. I’m more distanced from my female colleagues now, and Its not nice hearing my name all over the neighborhood because of a spiteful jealous human-being. Half the buses on my route don’t even stop for me any more. (Its gotten that bad). I’ve already made the mistake entrusting my preparatory lawyer fees to my mom, not going to do that again of course.
I remember going on the internet not long ago, and stumbling on this site. Honestly I thought I was the only one who had run-ins with women of my magnitude until I found this site. I’m truly fortunate I did.

[RoyDalParticipant]

Welcome! And I wish I could offer some positive practical suggestions for solving the dilemma you are in.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Anonymous 5]

A very warm welcome and thanks for going to so much trouble to share.

Genesis wrote:

he paused the game and announced that he had a confession to make…..just by mere instinct, without hearing his confession, I unpaused the game and jokingly told him “well I hope you satisfied her better than I did haha” and continued playing.

hahahahahahaha! Brilliant!
When you can react like this, you know you’re at least half cured of believing women are the sweet little snowflakes they lead us to believe they are.

Genesis wrote:

For example, If a woman passing you on a sidewalk comes over on your side, you better haul ass and make way for her. Even female children can humble a grown male pedestrian’s directions and they know it.

I can’t believe someone else has noticed this too!!!!!!! I thought it might be just here where I live. Even pairs or groups of young schoolgirls behave the same way,,,,they behave like royalty and men are underlings. They’re acutely aware of their privileged gender.
They never stand aside or behind each other when you go to pass, you always end up having to step off the pavement. It’s unbelievable.
Pairs and groups of men/boys always get THE F~~~ out of the way when I approach. At the very least, the “tough” guys make some room.
I was actually thinking of doing a video compilation of this after an incident this afternoon.

Genesis wrote:

Imagine how I feel toward females NOW. I can’t stand the sound of a female speaking, My head starts to hurt after 2 sentences…….their inflections of speech eventually start sound like nonsense, no kidding.

I know the feeling. It can be really testing.
The more they talk, the more brainless you know they are.

Genesis wrote:

I used to enjoy teaching but now any classes I have I go with the paranoid presumption that I might give my students too much homework and one might get angry and say I did something vile to them

Now you know why there are virtually no male teachers in our primary school system, though, feminists never see the need to point out this discrepancy.
I know first hand from my Ex teaching what can happen to male teachers as a result of concocted sexual harassment allegations.

If you’re got the courage to get where you are now, you’ve got the courage to see this thing through, despite how bad it is. Never give up on yourself.
We’ve all experienced bits and pieces of what you’ve had to endure.
You make it all worth it if you learn from it.

Enjoy the forums, it’s great to have you here.

[RigParticipant 52]

Welcome to MGTOW. You are not alone.

In your position I would consider moving. Just that could eradicate many problems you are facing now.

[Anonymous 42]

@genesis, I know how you feel to a degree(you’ve been scorched) I wore the silver bracelets and did time in county over the babbling lips of a woman, she was the second to the last woman I was with 1992, the last. 1997, now I live in total solidarity, but still have half way decent family (rare). I feel the way about a woman’s voice when I occasionally hear a TV (no TV since 2005) The world is like a tornado of iniquity and destruction all around me. Nothing has any true meaning anymore, people use and abuse each other all the time. Anyway, solidarity works well for me, since the late 90’s I became hardcore MGTOW, I had enough! I gave up on people and society as any source of friendship, I placed strict rules and borders on friendships. The friends I have now are decent people. I became the opposite polarity (blue to red) almost immediate, too much s~~~, too many years, too many walls.
I’m not telling you what to do, but what I feel you must do.

Your mom will use every bit of your worth and (god forbid) you get hurt yourself, she’ll spit you out to die, IT’S THAT BAD! Stay away from everyone for the time being. This is hard, you’ve had a grenade explode, only to land on a mine and have that explode! I put my life back together after jail and realized I had to defend it from users and abusers. You can do the same, only if you’re willing to undergo the cold and heartless transformation from emotionally driven, to logically driven, it’s a matter of rewiring your mind, but this can only be done in isolation, years of isolation. Minimal human contact, alone in the wilderness, on your own rails like a train steaming into the unknown. Until you cut loose and stand on your own and all alone, you’ll have the constant tugging and torment of others changing your mind, interfering with the process. You deserve a better life! A much better life!
You need to split! Go somewhere else! Abandon the abusive family and society around you! You need to step out and go!
Time to repair your head! Your life is s~~~! Not of your own choosing (you chose wisely) it’s the toxic people around you!

You owe nothing to a family like that, you’ve paid your dues in SPADES!

You need to gather up every future minute of your life and run!
Yours is a misery all to common in this society! You’re dwelling in sea of infected puss!
Can you migrate to another country? or are you stuck on a miserable island? In that case get a boat and leave!
It’s not going to stop until YOU stop it!

After almost 20 years of being sovereign the misery is still fresh in my mind, something imprinted on my spirit that forces me to fly alone…

Good Luck! If you wash up on our shores, you will learn not only to live again, but to live the spice of life where everyday is a personal feast! The evil is not your problem, it theirs!

Just like Lot in the city of Sodom, it’s time for you to leave…

[Tiga KParticipant 1693]

Thank you for sharing your story and welcome to mgtow.com.

[Honorable_Juice_BoxParticipant 591]

Welcome good sir

[WarrivarParticipant 44]

I feel for you man,

My life in my hometown was ruined by the family of my first girlfriend who i had for four years. We broke up, went our separate ways and in no time her sister and now White knight husband who i once called my Brother. have spread rumors about me to former friends and family. These rumors basically amounted me to being a cheating sexual deviant when in reality I did not see the point in continuing a relationship with someone who was never home.

I found out very quickly who was really on my side. and who didn’t see me as their Son, or Brother but instead “That guy she’s dating” Their influence spread pretty far in that little town and I was ostracized at school, at my job, and same as you even the random encounters on the street would be me getting the stink eye or an insult from people they knew and who i never even met.

In the end I had to leave and it did me a world of good…sometimes the best option is a tactical retreat, you are one man and one man can not hope to fight against a horde of useful idiots much less a social stigma as pervasive as a man’s perceived wrongs. Your mind, your health and your soul is not worth dealing with Weak willed men and manipulative women. Retreat to higher ground, tend your wounds and rebuild your life.

Be well, and be Safe.

[AttonParticipant]

Welcome to the forums Genesis,I must say that was a very long intro.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[Anonymous 3]

Genesis,

Your story is heart-breaking. As I just said somewhere else, we men are many times hostages of our good intentions towards others.

I asked myself “what are we to do, disregard good intentions and have only hate and contempt?”

Be whatever we are, we have the right to be so. I for one will not change for the sake of others. I concluded that there was no safe way to be as I am in this society, therefore I decided that I am by myself.

To me this is like surviving alone in the wilderness. I depend only on myself. I have to know the perils of the wild and keep myself safe. People in this landscape (parents and family included) are like beasts: some are harmless and others are dangerous. I just have to recognize the kind of animal that I am facing and act accordingly. I can do good and be kind to any of these creatures, but if they try to bite me I will kick them and get away.

I am becoming silent: why give weapons to my wife, or waste pearls that are not appreciated? Every time I say more than I should I get an immediate “reward”, solidifying my resolve.

Social pressure? Reputation? Why be constrained by these things when we can move to another place and start over again? This is like a plague ruining our hunting grounds, leaving us no other option but to leave for greener fields. The stupid option would be to stick around in a hostile environment!

Its hilarious that the worst advise my father gave me was to become his best words: “A man is born alone, he lives alone and dies alone.” What a bunch of nonsense!, I used to think. Not anymore.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

Welcome home brother

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[RigParticipant 52]

How you doing Genesis? Any new thoughts?

[Author]

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