So this is my story

[whatdoesntkillyoumakesyoustrongerParticipant 15]

Hey lads,

So well, this is my story – I’ll try to keep it as short as possible, moreover I’m no native speaker so please be kind with my grammar 😛

Well, Im a guy in my mid 20s – Quite young I guess and the question is, why do I share the values pointed out in this “movement”?

 

I would say I’m not the classic type of being the “nice guy” getting screwed and writing this out of frustration (Dont want to insult anyone here, just thats a classic stereotype  – prolly made up by women themselve). I never had problems talking to women, also no problems with flirting or having sex with them. However I realized, that there are still a lot of problems facing me and my mindset towards women.

Most of the time when I just took care of myself, took some alone time, focused on my studies and on my career as well as my body I realized I was happy. I cared about my family and about my friends. Occasionally I flirted with a girl but I never could take any of them serious. There’s the saying, that girls are usually more mature than boys. Seriously – I rarely find a girl my age I can talk about any serious matter. Most of the time I just have a pointless conversation leading nowhere. It doesn’t seem like they care about their future, can’t tell me what to do with their lives or anything similar.

I mean, I’m not Mr. Serious myself – I like to go out and have fun, drinking and just enjoying life. However I take my life seriously as I am the only one responsible for creating my future, worrying more about what to do next and where possibly move to in order to advance in my career rather than still being stuck in “Oh what to do tomorrow night?” and having no thoughts beyond the next saturday night.

It might be just the women at my age and specifically the women I approach, however getting to know more and more people throughout my life I recognize that it is not only at my age. I sure know that I will never tell a women what I am doing for my living and in how far I could express my wealth to her on first sight. From older work colleagues and in forums like these I just see too many incidents linked to failed marriages and betrayal. It saddens me, as I still have the belief that there can be a serious bond between men and women. Call it Love, call it happiness – There might be such a thing and there might be good examples as well. I just think, with the rise of irrational feminism having nothing to do with actual equality, women sometimes get brainwashed to be psychotic freaks.

Erm well, I promised to keep it short n sweet so: Over the past few years I never committed to something serious as I was moving quite a lot because of my studies and my work. However one year ago I tried to establish something meaningful and serious again, as I – what at first seemed to be – a serious and meaningful relationship based on trust, honesty and equality.

However after a jokingly small amount of time she betrayed me and lied to me.  She did not even care about trying to do it in a nice way respecting my feelings – but dumping me in the worst way possible – not even 1 week before that, she declared, that she cant even live a single day without me. Then s~~~ went belly up.

Well that is actually not my message, my message is the following:

I do not like the stereotype, that men are the ones who are the evil f~~~tards, betraying and being dishonest. At least in a small scope of lets say the people i met over the years, I sadly met a lot of friends who got screwed badly. I do not think that women might be worse than men when it comes to cheating, but I have the feeling that during the last couple of years the tendency somehow shifted, whilst men still have the image of the assholes and retards.

At this point in my life I’ve reached clarity. I get along alone pretty well and enjoy the focus I can put on different aspects of my life. Moreover I am honest with the women. I tell them what I am up for and what not. Meaningful and good relationships these days are hard to achieve, however I still believe that those exist. I just dislike the light feminism reflects these days.

It used to be about equality, nowadays I can’t really grasp the values feminist incorporate. Back in the days I could ask a girl out I found attractive without being a creep. I could get to know her without stalking her Facebook or Instagram profiles and most importantly I guess I could have a good conversation with them. Nowadays if you go for a coffee with a girl she pulls out her phone tweeting, texting, making pictures for instagram or what the f~~~ ever.

I might be born in the wrong century, I might be too critical or just meeting the wrong girls – But in the end – Not giving a f~~~, taking care of myself and being happy which reflects on my attitude makes me more successfully with women rather than really trying hard and being nice and supportive to gain a girls favor. Sick world we are currently living in.

Thanks for your time reading this, I’m looking forward to read some of your stories and opinions – Cheers!

 

[johnconnor777Participant 85]

Welcome, I am also a newbie here… your story  about being raised to be a “nice guy” reminds me of what Tyler Durden on “the fight club” said: “We‘re a generation of men raised by women.”

The whole thing about asking a girl out and being called a creep depends only if she likes you or not, if a guy she likes say the same thing to her than a girl she doesn’t like, it is totally fine but if if it is the latest, then he is a creep. #doublestandards.

Just my two cents

 

[whatdoesntkillyoumakesyoustrongerParticipant 15]

Thanks for your reply mate,

I really like your quote, but about the first thing:

I said I’m prolly (THANKFULLY) not the nice guy, however you are right, I got educated to be that, the gentlemen. I can’t blame my parents for that, they gave me the right ethics and attitude, they did a good job I guess.

Moreover its not about being the creep if you don’t fit the looks the girl is searching for. As I said I never had problems flirting with girls. Its the fact that only the imagination nowadays of asking a girl on the street or something similar is somehow creepy. You always will be the strange guy. It’s seems more appropriate to hit an a girl through social networks rather than asking her out in the old fashioned way. This generation has raised a bunch of emotionally unavailable and dishonest people.

Just grasp the whole view of my text. I’m not disappointed because of my experiences per se, I’m disappointed in the direction men and women are heading nowadays. Its a wicked world, Tyler Durden sure was right about this.

By the way, I had a weird dream last night, I don’t know if the quote fits or not, but this is what I remembered when I woke up: “A man’s best friend is not the dog, it’s the condom” I really had to smile thinking about this and how it appeared in my dream.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

I’m no native speaker so please be kind with my grammar

Nobody will attack your grammar. Your English is better than our Russian.
So please don’t shy from posting. And feel free as much as you want.

There’s the saying, that girls are usually more mature than boys.
Seriously – I rarely find a girl my age I can talk about any serious matter.

Excellent observation. If girls mature faster than boys, it also means they STOP maturing faster. Cheap wine “matures faster” too. So does MILK. It’s not a plus. That’s why you see +40 year-old women still looking for their prince on dating websites. They still have the same childish fantasies they had when they were 12 – 30 years ago. That’s not “mature”. The longer it takes for something to mature, the more valuable it is.

I still have the belief that there can be a serious bond between men and women

You’re in your 20s. Society is set up to have you believe that for as long as possible. They would love you to buy into this fantasy before you turn 36+. Even better if they can convince you to sign a marriage contract. But the more sexual partners a woman has, the less she can “bond” with you. There’s biological truth to this. Emotionally (and technically) the legal system also prevents this from being possible because BY LAW she is not as responsible as you. How can man “bond” with a creature who doesn’t pay for her own mistakes – while he is expected to pay for HER mistakes too?

The reason why laws (and feminism) were created was to DEVIDE us. Not to bring us closer together. If the objective was for men and women to truly bond, they wouldn’t allow THE STATE into your personal life.

I do not like the stereotype, that men are the ones who are the evil f~~~tards, betraying and being dishonest. At least in a small scope of lets say the people i met over the years, I sadly met a lot of friends who got screwed badly. I do not think that women might be worse than men when it comes to cheating, but I have the feeling that during the last couple of years the tendency somehow shifted, whilst men still have the image of the assholes and retards.

If you cheat, you’re the asshole / bad boyfriend / bad husband and must pay.
If she cheats, you’re the asshole / bad boyfriend / bad husband who didn’t meet her needs and must pay.

Anyone can see the blatant hypocrisy in that.

Sick world we are currently living in

Your grammar is just fine. 🙂

Cheers and welcome to MGTOW.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[whatdoesntkillyoumakesyoustrongerParticipant 15]

Thanks for your reply KeyMaster!

You might be right with your words, it’s just funny how I start to realize it more and more. I’ve been meeting girls on the weekend again, it amazes me how I just had no interest at all, even though they were attractive, moreover they showed huge interest, as they all do at first until they twist 😛

It’s just like after the last girl, the first girl ever to cheat on me and dump me, made me realizes that I am happy now. Of course I thought of her for some time and swallowed sadness, but soon I really started to enjoy having time to go to the gym or have a nice dinner with friends, while I still study and work. Time for myself and my friends. Working on myself to push myself beyond boundaries.

 

Ironically, the more I’m confident and satisfied with myself, the more women realize that and try to attract me. It really amuses me and makes me realize, that I’m better off with taking care of myself and going my own way.

 

Once more – I’m really glad I found this place. I really hope the men who have burned in marriage and divorce wars will do fine in the future, the more stories I read and the more i feel empathy for those fellows, the more I get clarity of protecting myself of such things as soon as possible. I have not f~~~ed up my life yet, more precisely women have not f~~~ed up my life yet and I’m doing good, you guys help me to keep on that track, thank you so much for that!

[AlexanderParticipant 5]

Hi Guys!

I live in Germany and am now 35 and getting divorced with one custody dispute pending for my small daughter. I will try make things as short as possible.

After the usual way through university with girlfriends and casual encounters every now and then I started to long for “something more meaningful” since I was raised by a traditional mother (of Greek origin) who instilled strong family values in me (which is good for the time and place she came from but not for today’s world).

So I started to actively look for a woman that I could imagine building a future with, based on equal contributions and mutual respect. Writing these lines with the knowledge I have today it feels hard for me not to laugh about myself.

So I met a woman on campus who had been working her way through university as well, was financially independent and seemed to have “drive” and energy and hence I thought: wow, that is the one. And truly, I must admit that back than you would have never guessed that the story would take such a bad turn, but turning out badly it did.

The first year we moved in together and apart from minor disputes all seemed to work out quite well. After a year of living together we registered our marriage and from then on things started to go downhill. At first very slow, then faster and faster the longer the marriage lasted. To cut a long story short: I was a captive of a “misandry treadmill”, being confronted with ever higher demands as she opted more and more out of work until she stopped working at some point (“I cannot take the stress, I need a break”) while I busted my ass 50 or 60 hours a week out there (not counting the daily commute) to make ends meet despite my high salary (worked as an HR consultant).

Later my ex-wife told me that she having troubles to reintegrate into the workforce because nobody would take her application seriously (“I feel discrimanted” “everybody thinks that I am getting pregnant tomorrow and will go on maternity leave” etc etc etc). Which meant that I had to work more and more and even accept riskier and less secure jobs for a higher income to be able to provide a decent livingstandard (for her, I had none).

All in all the marriage was like a vicious cycle of emotional abuse, demands, (empty) promises of betterment and times of relative peace (I underline the word relative). But thinking, that it was the only right and adult thing to do I kept on and on and on.

After she failed at launching her own business (with my massive help and contacts – which were then burned after her failure) we thought that we might as well have children right now (I thought that at least I am getting something back for all this bothering). So we had a child together which was born in July 2013. During that time I had lost my (unsecure) job due to personal differences with my manager (and because I felt burned out), but I was at home and took care of our baby daughter. My exwife felt bad after the birth and so I did everything alone apart from breastfeeding (best time of my life). I must say that during the pregnancy my ex became totally nuts. She became continuously offensive and aggresive and at times violent (first against things then against me). I did not do anything (what should I do? hit a pregnant woman?). I sucked it up, there was no help anyway (no shelters for men in Germany, not even a hotline). When she felt bad after birth she lacked the strength to continue her abuse and things seemed to calmed down, at least I hoped so. While my lawsuit against my former employer (for severance) was still pending I told her after two months that I need one or two days off from childcare to prepare my case. During this time my baby-daughter got bad diarrhea (for those who do not know, diarrhea is extremely dangerous for small infants, they can die from it after one to two days). The next day I resumed my childcare duty (the best thing a man can do) and found out during my daily check that my daughter already had signs of dehydration. I asked my ex for how long this diarrhea has been around and she just shrugged and asked me if it was so bad. I insisted that we go to see a doctor and it turned out that my daughter lost 10% of her weight already! We had to rush to the hospital and immediately get her on an infusion.

The following week was a big drama, my daughter was in a critical stage and eventually survived without any damage (the good news). During this stay my ex freaked out completely and started hurl all sorts of insults at me ( I do not even know why, if it was anybody’s fault it was hers since she did report the diarrhea to me when she took care of my child). When I came home to check the mail I saw that our account had been plundered and later I politely but sincerly confronted her with this. She became violent again and when her provocations did not result in me snapping and hitting back, she suddenly pressed the alarm button for the nurse. When the nurse came in she told the nurse that I had been “aggressive” and that this “harms the child” . The nurse, another woman, immediately turned on me and told me to leave now if I want to avoid getting arrested by the police. What choice did I have? I tried to tell that it was in fact the other way around, but a woman’s word is gold in this society ( and women know it).

During this time where I was effectively banned from the hospital I only returned three times (always with a witness) just to see my child. I also contacted the child protective service and asked them, no begged them, for help but they did not lift a finger. They told me to go to the courts. WTF…I need help back then and immedeately! Of course what happened was that I was not informed that my daughter was fully recovered and ready for release and my ex took her and went to a women’s shelter. I had to look for her via the police who told me that I must not search neither wife nor daughter or I will be arrested. We both went to the court and while I brought the testimonies of the witnesses that had come with me to the hospital (in total 4 testimonies backing my version) my ex only had her version and no other source confirming it (not even the hospital – because I did nothing). But for the courts she had expressed the right buzz words. I was according to her version “aggressive” and “needed help”. There was not even a description of what I had supposedly done wrong, nor were any charges pressed (there was not even enough substance for false charges). I went through 8 months without seeing the daughter that I had been with 24/7  for 2 months since her birth. The court ignored everything I said and only after more than half a year did I get supervised visitation (2 hours a week). In court the judge (another woman) asked me: what do you as a man want with the child? WTF…I was baffled…so this is the equality under the law we get to “enjoy”. I started to do research, connect with men in similar situations, tried to learn from other experiences, went over statistics of marriage and divorce (and I asked myself why I haven’t done so before making the decision to get married). During the 8 months of torture I fell into a real deep depression. Everytime I saw a pram or a playing ground I broke out in tears, everytime I saw anything that reminded me of my child I broke out in tears and at one night I seriously considered to go to the next train station and just make it end. On top of this the courts granted the exwife to get the house, which meant that I was about to become homeless. So there I was: stripped of job, home and child.

During my research in forums and other places on the internet I stumbled across the term “red pill”. I googled it and ended up with MGTOW on youtube. Besides my family and friends, who know me and know my story and support me, it was indeed MGTOW insights that helped me to recover and to understand what happened. The youtube channels of Barbarossa, Stardusk, Speznas and the likes gave me understanding about what had happened and how my ex could have been so cruel and backstabbing. Until then I was chasing my tail, asking myself what I might have done wrong, but I could not find anything. Then I understood. I was only good as long as I earned double the average income and had no demands. When I lost my job my value declined sharply and once I confronted my wife with her fraud and money theft she took every measure to get rid of me. Nothing special, just normal hypergamy. I could have been anybody else to her. Later I found out that this all had been carefully planned. The money ended up with her mother (whom I also had helped).

Things started to turn for better quite recently. I am about to maybe get a decently paid job with 30 hours per week so I can take care of my daughter. Also the women who organized the supervised visitation have stated in their report that not just I did very well and reconnected with my child almost immediately and seamlessly after such a long time of separation but that my ex displayed aggresive tone and behavior and that she is properly bringing the child up and fails to set normal and healthy boundaries. Maybe, I am saying this with care, but maybe I might luck out after having lost more than a year of my life ( or rather 8 including the marriage) and get custody of my child. I plan to raise it alone. The mother will be granted generous visitation and there will even be an open door policy so she can come and see her. But with the first sign of manipulation or abuse I will take her to the courts. My guess is that once I get custody and the child does not come anymore with benefits my ex’s interest in it will drop anyway as it did with me. And I would not be angry about it and rather embrace it after all she did. We two are better off without her honestly.

I will never remarry and cannot even imagine living with a woman together again. The only women I want in my life and my home are my daughter and my old mother who was always there for me. Maybe also my sister, but that’s about it. I do not need another woman. Love I get from my blood. Everytime my daughter sees me  she explodes with joy and jumps on me and stays for almost all the entire two hours on my arm. Together we learn and discover so many things: how to open doors, how to climb, how open and close things etc. What else do I need?

If I want love I have my daughter. Motherly affection and a good meal comes from my mother (I also cook myself very well). Gossiping about people I can with my sister. Living in Germany means that the occasional blowjob is just 20 minutes away and costs less than 3 c~~~tails (no pun intended). I have many friends and even my father (my parents were divorced as well) back in my life, so once I get my daughter home and a new part-time job to raise her with the help of my family and daycare all will be well.

I learned one thing: you can cry, you can p~~~ your pants and scream for help, but you will never give up no matter how much it hurts. I also learned about how women see men and that the juice is not worth the squeeze. With my income I could have easily paid for surrogacy and an au-pair to help me. In case I will stabilize financially again it is the only way that I will conceive children. I do not need a “mother” around. I can do it all by myself and have proven it.

[whatdoesntkillyoumakesyoustrongerParticipant 15]

Hey lads, I hope its okay to give a brief update – just current occasions seem to be worthwhile to tell:

The last couple of days I have had mixed feelings about what to do in the future and where to go, until 2 days ago:

As I said I have a sound interest in developing my career and finishing university in a couple of months. My family is not happy with me living abroad. However I thought about the situation whether I should move back to my hometown where I would have no satisfying job opportunities whatsoever. I work for a big bank in central Europe – Living here I met a lot of women and the one described in my intro who was my girlfriend for sometime. I am so glad she dumped me because I had a talk with a working colleague 2 days ago which opened my eyes.

He asked me what’s gonna be my journey now that I finish my degree. I told him I might go for London or Frankfurt as my current boss recommended me for some jobs there. My mate replied, that if it wouldn’t be because of his girlfriend he might relocate as well. But things are working out great with her and that they are gonna get married. So he will stick to this job, which is good as well. But at least in my eyes – once you reach a certain level you wanna achieve more. Not particular for money reasons, but because of responsibility, power and well.. money as well up to some point.

I then realized, if you would have asked me the same thing 2 months ago, I would have said the same. “Stay in that town, you will be with your girlfriend – even though you know you would be capable of achieving more somewhere else…”

Now I realize, that I have the freedom to do the f~~~ I want to do. Maybe I will not like the life there, maybe I will not like the job there.. However I will have the clarity of at least going for it and trying. Making the valuable experience. It has always been a struggle for me to decide between girls and pursuing the things I really wanna do – At this point in my life I know, I can meet interesting people everywhere, so really following my passion and advancing in my career is the thing I should do. I’m not limited by any girlfriend or woman in my life. I’ve never been so thrilled about anything before.

Partly I guess this place is responsible for that, thank you lads!

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