So, there's nothing wrong with me

[StratManO1Participant 8]

First I’d like to say “Thank You”. I stumbled upon this website through a few facebook and youtube videos. As I read more, watched more, finally landing here, I’m realizing that there’s nothing wrong with me. My mindset and attitude being different from mainstream doesn’t mean I’m the one who’s damaged, it’s society. If you could bear with me, a little background.

I had dated very little being one of the nerdier types. In ’91 I thought I was in love and got married. During the ten year sentence I was with my own personal succubus, the tables were always turned so that no matter what she did, I was at fault. I’ve always loved to read, science fiction being my focus. I should have seen it as a red flag when she said my collection of paperbacks needed to be gotten rid of. Sure I had some books, close to 800, nicely packed away in the spare bedroom, never in anyone’s way. I managed to save about 100 books for myself while she took the rest to sell at her sister’s yard sale. After the weekend, I asked where’s my money from the sale of the books. “Oh we have to count it out as we go through what was sold.” A week later I saw her sister, “How was the yard sale?” – she said “What yard sale?”

We had to move one time out of state and I was arranging for my brother to take care of my car in storage. The car had some sentimental value since it was my first car and I still had it to that point for seven years. Well the “wife” made some deal with her girlfriend then came to me saying I could store my car at her girlfriend’s place until I can come back for it. The car was a ’67 and the registration was also the title for a car that age in NY, this was in ’91. We got my car over there, parked it, went back and packed. On the day of the move the “wife” said her girlfriend’s boyfriend needed my registration just in case the authorities questioned my car in his yard. Then the “wife” tells me her girlfriend “loaned” us $100 for the move. About three months later when I had the chance to get my car, the “wife” was on the phone with her girlfriend. I asked about my car, her girlfriend said it was gone. I asked was it stolen. No, since we sold her the car, they sold it to a junk yard. The body was in the process of being repaired, so my car didn’t look like much, but I had over $3000 invested in the engine and transmission. Funny how it somehow my fault I lost my car.

After ten years of marriage, getting her what she wanted – a house, new vehicle when she became tired of the old one, furniture, appliances, bedroom sets, even a tv. Turned out that while I was working the third shift, she was bringing a guy in to my bed and f~~~ing him. This guy was unemployed, homeless, overweight, smoked and drank. By this time in my life I had cut back my drinking to enjoy the buzz rather than get drunk. I lost 75 pounds and stopped smoking when I couldn’t climb three flights of stairs at work. But I was no longer the man she married, I changed too much.

When she hit me with the divorce papers, she had already cleaned out most of her stuff from the house and had taken most of my good things. When I asked where was my things, she said she was “owed” them. The hounding started then and I agreed to give her all the profit from the sale of the house if she left me alone. She tried to get financing but couldn’t. The bank said I could buy her out, but I didn’t want it anymore after she f~~~ed some guy in my bed. So the house was put up for sale. She agreed to let me sell the house. I sold it at just enough to cover the mortgage. I lost the house and walked away with nothing, all she got was $250. It was my last “F~~~ you bitch”. Haven’t seen her since. That was 2001.

It was about that time I started getting a mindset explained this way – it’s cheaper to rent a hooker than to be married, you will get sex and won’t loose your house. Since then I’ve dated, never got into any relationships, and have actually had more fun than in my entire ten year marriage. Over the years I’ve had people tell me I’m wrong, or something is wrong with me, that I need to get a good wife, I shouldn’t be alone and by myself. Even though many tried to make me feel guilty, I didn’t. I was enjoying my freedom. I did what I wanted to do. I didn’t answer to anyone and no one answered to me. I did go in circles due to a lack of direction in my life, even stagnated for a while.

One time while trying to get to the bottom of a bottle of rum, I started to air guitar to some music and I played with the thought – I’ve always wanted to learn guitar but so many in my life said no, including the “wife” when I was married. I went ahead and bought one. Found books and dvds on learning to play. Had a couple of times when I had to put it down, but I kept coming back. While working for a delivery company, I would practice when things were slow. My friend John gave me a lot of support – keep playing man! Things right now are getting settled again and John asked if I still played. Yes, when I can. Please play for my friend Zero. Out of practice and feeling embarrassed I wasn’t at my best, I played. Zero was the first one to ever say I had skill and he could see the talent starting to grow. I was floored. He went as far as to say he wants me to record a few songs and he wants to be my manager. Well, like I said, things are still getting settled and one is getting my guitar back. I should have it back in two or three weeks. And when I get her back, I will practice, I have things to learn, and then it would be time to record demos and see how Zero can help me. What I thought would just be a fulfilling of a childhood dream just to learn and play has been growing from a hobby to a change in occupation. Something that never would have been possible if I had stayed married.

And that’s where MGTOW grabbed my attention. There were bumps and hickups along the way, but the basic idea that this is My life and I live it on My terms has been my guide since my divorce. Finding MGTOW and learning that I’m not the only one who thinks this way, has had set backs and can take control of one’s life – all I can say is “Thank You”.

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

In the limited time I have to type this, and the relatively slow speed at which I type, I will say that: there is nothing wrong with you. There never was. The critical fault is in the unreasonable, unrealistic and unsustainable expectations projected onto you and the rest of us, by ignorant, immature and tyrannical women. The only thing you can be blamed for is believing and accepting it for a time…(which all of us have done to varying degrees)…but that time has now passed, for you and for us. Welcome to mgtow. You’ve come to right place.

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[StratManO1Participant 8]

@brainpilot Thank you sir for the welcome. All these years with others telling me that the problem was with me, I read here that it isn’t, just as you say also. It’s the lies and bulls~~~ that confuse me and other men into the behavior much like we see on tv and movies now. I’ve had self doubt that caused so much stress – but now, it’s gone. Knowing it’s all bulls~~~ and there are others who see things as I do, I’m stress free – at least in that area, bills and money are different but not hitting the ego at all, ya know?

I have to say, knowing this already is making a difference. Today at work one of the ladies asked me if I knew anything about cars. I think is because everyone knows I ride the only motorcycle there. I said a little and she went on to describe what was wrong, I said it might be a broken belt or her steering pump went bad. Then came the $64,000 question – “Oh do you think you can take a look and fix it for me?”

Before I found this website my usual response would have been a No with and apology stating I don’t have my tools with me. But this time was different, I simply said “No” and went back to work. I didn’t apologize, I didn’t make excuses or give reasons why I couldn’t – all playing that false guilt I’ve felt for years. A simple No, the conversation ended and I felt good. I realized I didn’t owe her or anyone else an explanation. No – doesn’t matter why, I just didn’t want to. No – it felt good.

Then another thing happened leaving work. After walking out and letting the door close, there was a woman who was going in. The old me would have stopped, went back, opened and held the door for her to go through. Today, I didn’t. I just looked past her towards my bike when she said “Aren’t you going to get the door for me?” This made me stop, yes, but I said something I never thought I would ever say –

“Women want Equal Rights, you can get the door yourself.”

Now I said it nicely, no hate or malice in my voice. And she gave just a funny little look then opened the door and went in. And I can’t believe how easy it was. It wasn’t until I got to my bike that I think she couldn’t say anything because of the logic of what I said. I think I confused her. If women want equality, then they can get their own doors – chivalry is dead. If women was special treatment, then they don’t want equality – chivalry lives, or should I say chivalry is slavery.

Anyway, long response, but damn if it didn’t feel good today.

 

[Anonymous 42]

@stratmano1, Wow, It seems they’re all alike! I’m glad to see you are perusing “who you are” rather than “what she wants”(selfish),,,, I hold the door for women only when unexpectedly letting go would hit, and possibly injure them. I’m not a monster, but damned if I’ll go out of my way!

Looks like you drank from the waters of personal freedom, arriving at MGTOW in relatively good condition…

You sound like a much happier MAN since loosing the depressing baggage (wife/pigf~~~er), Welcome to MGTOW!!!!!

[Deus Ex MachinaParticipant 1068]

Welcome go MGTOW Bud!,

 

Wow what a bitch you used to be Married too. I know that feel Bro, after my divorce, I was sleeping in my truck, homeless can be(the ex took everything even my underwear), however I was happy, because no more screaming and no more yelling, i had the most peace sleeping in my truck on the beach, listening to the ocean.

 

Glad you picked up the Guitar and learned how to play. It’s talent that were already inside you, just wanting to come out.

 

Wish you the best, again welcome to MGTOW.

"If You have the Tooth of a Whale, You must have the Whale's Jaw to hold it". (i.e. One Must have the right qualifications for leadership) -Hawaiian Proverb

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

Congrat’s on those two responses. That was perfect. Over the years, I’ve learned that the trick is using a very polite tone when pulling out a reality club and beating them over the head with it. If you’re mad or nasty, they can use that hostile tone as an excuse to disregard all the content of what you say. If you’re soft spoken and polite when you say it, it gets in unopposed like a trojan horse and detonates inside the perimeter. I never get tired of watching their faces when I do this. Watching the impact of reality hitting that castle of bulls~~~ they’ve constructed in their heads. It’s like watching a wrecking ball hit a condemned building… Even if the building does not collapse immediately, you know that watching the dust fly and the cracks form that it will never be the same after that first contact with the wrecking ball.

someone else on this site said it better than me, but I’ll pass long his quote. Essentially: “You can have chivalry or equality…but not both.”

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Over the years, I’ve learned that the trick is using a very polite tone when pulling out a reality club and beating them over the head with it. If you’re mad or nasty, they can use that hostile tone as an excuse to disregard all the content of what you say. If you’re soft spoken and polite when you say it, it gets in unopposed like a trojan horse and detonates inside the perimeter. I never get tired of watching their faces when I do this.

That (I’ve found) also to be the only winning strategy and it works better than “arguing”. Arguing with them (no matter how justified) is only reflected back as YOUR problem – and YOU are “butthurt”. The ever predictable appeal to ridicule (explained below) followed or started by an “LOL” in matters of how men are treated (and how he feels about it) is not appropriate and they know it…. but they still use it as an “argument” and convince themselves they have “won”.

Brain Pilot is talking about what I might call killing them with kindness.
It works like a nuclear bomb and detonates leaving permanent illusion-shattering scars on them.

@stratmano1 No, there’s nothing wrong with you. One of the best thing about arriving at MGTOW is the FINAL ability to remove the baggage you’ve been carrying….. the lifelong burden of assuming responsibility and blaming yourself for things that are NOT. YOUR. PROBLEM. They are not your fault. What a relief that is. But men do this anyway. When a relationship or marriage fails, the man is ALWAYS blamed. He is even required to PAY. Even when she is completely unbearable to live with, HE is blamed. He must pay. He is mocked. HE is ridiculed and he deserves it.

“Everything is your fault” is the first rule of leadership. It’s a good thing. Personal responsibility is man’s best friend. It allows you to personally congratulate yourself for your successes, and berate yourself for your failures. It’s the only way you can earn respect and have self-respect. But female behavior is not your responsibility. It’s not your fault. It’s not your failure. It’s hers. This is treating her fairly. However women don’t think this is treating them fairly. They call it “misogyny”. The accusation of “misogyny” is like the appeal to ridicule. It is no more than a deflection to make her problem – your problem.

The problem is, women do not accept responsibility for this. They blame YOU. The world blames the MAN.
And too often, the man will even blame himself.

• If he has an affair, he’s a cheating bastard and he should pay. This is RIGHT.
• If SHE has an affair, he didn’t satisfy her needs as a woman, he’s a bad husband, and he should pay. This is WRONG.

Anyone with half a brain can understand that.

Women can have special & differential treatment — OR — they can have respect. They can not have both.

---

The Appeal to Ridicule

Also Known as: Appeal to Mockery, The Horse Laugh. The Appeal to Ridicule is a fallacy in which ridicule or mockery is substituted for evidence in an “argument.” This line of “reasoning” has the following form:

• X, which is some form of ridicule is presented (typically directed at the claim).
• Therefore claim C is false.

This sort of “reasoning” is fallacious because mocking a claim does not show that it is false.
This is especially clear in the following example: “1+1=2! That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!”

It should be noted that showing that a claim is ridiculous through the use of legitimate methods (such as a non fallacious argument) can make it reasonable to reject the claim. One form of this line of reasoning is known as a “reductio ad absurdum” (“reducing to absurdity”). In this sort of argument, the idea is to show that a contradiction (a statement that must be false) or an absurd result follows from a claim. For example: “Bill claims that a member of a minority group cannot be a racist. However, this is absurd. Think about this: white males are a minority in the world. Given Bill’s claim, it would follow that no white males could be racists. Hence, the Klan, Nazis, and white supremists are not racist organizations.”

Since the claim that the Klan, Nazis, and white supremists are not racist organizations is clearly absurd, it can be concluded that the claim that a member of a minority cannot be a racist is false.

Examples of Appeal to Ridicule

• “Sure my worthy opponent claims that we should lower tuition, but that is just laughable.”
• “Support the ERA? Sure, when the women start paying for the drinks! Hah! Hah!”
• “Those wacky conservatives! They think a strong military is the key to peace!”

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Smitty the Great OneParticipant 1535]

Key, I gotta tip my hat to you Brosus, you have a perfect way of delivering information to deconstruct female manipulation.They are like Jeet Kune Do of male-female interaction. I truly wish I could give this 10-12 thumbs up.

Strat, it’s nice to see a brother turn the corner, can’t wait to see how good it gets for you.

BrianPilot, you’re something like nicest prick ever…

MG-Tower, send us out thermo-nuclear

Life is too long to play by someone elses rules....

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Thanks Smitty. You guys inspire some interesting thoughts! And I’m tired of seeing guys blaming themselves (and even KILLING themselves) for being made to feel inadequate when they problem was never theirs. I saw a quote from Ninja earlier who said we don’t just save lives… we save souls.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 42]

Keymaster wrote:

Thanks Smitty. You guys inspire some interesting thoughts! And I’m tired of seeing guys blaming themselves (and even KILLING themselves) for being made to feel inadequate when they problem was never theirs. I saw a quote from Ninja earlier who said we don’t just save lives… we save souls.

That be Me…. every word true. Having gone through the ringer, been crushed inside, not just one woman, all the women I went through. Each or them chipping and scarifying, like vandals one after another relentlessly stripping me of my dignity. Damn near died, not one of them ever did give a s~~~, there motto “all for me, less than none for you”. My motto “go-f~~~-yourself”.

This years MGHOW day, I’m going to p~~~ on a box of chocolate!

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

Thank ya Smitty,
If I had thought about it when I joined, I might have made “nicest prick ever” my screen name here… 😛

I find it always best when the people I am a prick to don’t realize it until much later (preferably after everyone else in the area) that I was a complete prick to them. Once back in the day when I was married, someone asked me in front of her what married life was like. She immediately stared at me to let me know she was paying attention to my answer and that I better answer according to her wishes.

I smiled and said very graciously, “Oh, I just never imagined it would be like this… Each day is better than the next…”. The wife nodded approvingly, the married guy who’d asked me grinned a little as he understood what I’d actually said, and I went on with the social function where we were. It was maybe half hour later that the wife got p~~~ed (probably after someone who overheard me explained to her) that what I’d said about each day is better than the next actually meant that it gets worse everyday…

It was actually a lot more entertaining a half hour later when she got p~~~ed, that it had taken her a half hour to realize what I’d just said.

If you say things like that politely, you can be long gone by the time the truth bomb detonates inside the perimeter…

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

Hey stratman welcome aboard  the International sailing ship  ISS MGTOW   These guys are to soft on ya,  you had problems  they failed to tell you about. You put up with that crap for much to long. Now it should be smoother sailing.

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[StratManO1Participant 8]

Hey guys, thanks for the welcome and the chance to open my eyes. Each day as I look back, I see more and more how I was being controlled, frustrated, castrated. But like the old GI Joe cartoon – knowing is half the battle! Things that would royally p~~~ me off – remembering things that bitch did to me – are already fading. I choose not to carry that baggage around. It was all her bulls~~~, why do I still carry her purse?!?

You guys are right – no more guilt. And the peace of mind that comes with it – Priceless!

Now granted, I’m not just stepping out and everything is perfect. It’s more like learning to walk again after being bedridden for a long ass time. And with each step, my old strength returns, much like I had back twenty years ago.

@harpomason – you’re right! The mental blocks she piled up on me, so many over the years of marriage, are being dismantled. It takes self examination to see why I react the way I do, and after finding the cause (bulls~~~ from her little games) it gets removed. A couple of big ones were chucked out, now it’s the hunt to find the little ones that make me stumble.

The biggest thing I’m glad to be rid of is Guilt. There is NO reason for me to take the blame for her shortcomings. And this now becomes the standard to deal with women in general. No longer dragged into the personal life of drama – it’s not My problem, why should I care. Requests for help from poor helpless little girls who can’t wipe their own ass – I decline to acquiesce to your request. A simple, polite, educated “No”.

And the Freedom, ah the Freedom. I ride my motorcycle – no bitch harping on how dangerous they are. I play my guitar – no bitch saying my dreams are foolish. My goals, My life, My happiness.

It’s funny, I was once the Alpha Male long ago. Breaking the chains has started to bring back back the old me. Confidence in myself and my abilities is what I see most. Already I’m saying “I got this”. Never understood before that I was showing leadership quailities with that small phrase. With the red pill comes understanding. Seems to me that it’s 98% attitude and 2% work – cause it’s getting easy again, like back in the day.

There is a lot of truth to the old saying about marriage – the old ball and chain. Society jokes about it, but it’s a bitter truth that many do not want to face.

Thanks dudes! The SS MGTOW has gotten me off that deserted island, and it’s smooth sailing from here on out. God, it feels good to wake up and look forward to the day.

ATTITUDE makes the difference! Especially when you don’t carry the bulls~~~ from some whiny little bitch!

I go my my own way, and it’s f~~~ing great!

[Author]

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