This will probably end up being long, so I do apologize. I’ve never been very adept at summarizing things well and tend to ramble.
I’ve been lurking on this forum for at least a couple of months now – I made this account a while back, but never posted or introduced myself, as I tend to lurk. After drinking deeply from the well of knowledge here, I should at least share my story with all you older, wiser men, though it isn’t particularly compelling.
I started becoming suspicious around middle school, when I was crazy attracted to a girl in my grade, though of course it was only physical. She was hot as hell, but she was a disaster-case personality wise (along with all the other girls save for maybe one. Nothing new there) and even I knew she was a disaster-case at the time just from observing her, even with my little head giving me pep talks. It was around that time that I started fighting my little head with my big head, as well as subjecting that girl to the jerkoff litmus test, of which she failed. I had asked myself “what is it I even plan to do if I did get with her? Get married and have a family?”. Then I thought “Well hell, 50% of marriages end in divorce, and men get shredded in those divorces”, which lead to “What is it that I can do when married, that I can’t do in a regular relationship?”. Of course, the answer was a big fat NOTHING, and so I concluded “Why would I take on a 50% chance of loosing a bunch of my s~~~ for absolutely nothing but the title of “Husband” and “Wife” in return? Screw that.”. That’s when my pining after that girl stopped and I technically went MGTOW. I was still checking out girls for potential relationship material, but marriage was (and still is) off the table. Since I wasn’t interested in just sex and wanted an actual relationship with a female, I continued to subject all of my interests to the jerkoff litmus test and, naturally, not a single one has passed to this day.
Some of the girls in my classes started showing interest in me, but I didn’t reciprocate since they had either already failed the jerkoff litmus test, or I was never interested to begin with. They must have assumed that I was some kind of badboy (I’m actually too nice for my own good sometimes, but NOT a fking simping mangina), because they started telling me all about how the guy(s) they were dating who were taking them out places and doing things for them were “weak” and “losers” and how they wanted a “real n~~~~” (Read: Chad Thugnerc~~~). The more this went on, the less I even bothered looking for relationship material.
I started feeling guilty about everything about me – guilty for doing what I wanted to do, guilty for not being as social as I “ought to be”, guilty for thinking what I thought about women, etc. And it was really dragging me down and hindering me, but that guilt died once I discovered MGTOW content on youtube two years ago, when I was 21. Everything made PERFECT sense once MGTOW men called things as they are, and half of it I knew but couldn’t find the words for – it’s amazing how damned obvious a lot of it is if you’re really paying attention, and I’ve never even been in a relationship or had sexual contact with a woman. Or maybe a lot of it was clear to me because I grew up in the single-mom wasteland of matriarchy, the black community (and I’m black, myself). When 4/5 women around you are overweight, the little head doesn’t interfere with the big head as much.
This site needs to be required reading for all males before age 18 – there are countless life lessons and endless amounts of good advice and motivational gold here. I’m forever grateful to all of my fellow MGTOW brothers for helping me put the pieces of the puzzle together before I potentially f~~~ed something up permanently thinking I could be a professional unicorn hunter.
It’s good to be awake, brothers.
Anonymous 4 years ago.
