So I'm not a snowflake after all…

[TyrionParticipant 14]

Hello everyone,

First, I apologize in advance for not being as eloquent as some of you are, English is not my first language. So, if I seem rough or dumb, blame it on that 😉

Freshly divorced after 10 years, I’m almost done licking my wounds and understanding where I went wrong. Still a bit fuzzy about the details that go after ‘I should never have married’ but I’m getting there.

The aftermath is pretty bad. I went from being a 27 yo single, set for retirement (from the military) and full home ownership (loan paid) at 37, to being a 37 yo single set for retirement at 67 (if laws don’t change) and renting a house I have to furnish from scratch. It basically took me 10 years to take a step back. Yeah, I’m a bit bitter…

One the plus size, it could have been much worse : there’s no child support or alimony, I still have my dog (she tried, if you can believe it) and I make a decent living. It will be rough for a few months but I’ll be OK, especially with this new regimen of red pills and the satisfaction of not being a mangina anymore.

So, where am I on these MGTOW levels?

1. Yup, right there.
2. Yup, done with long-term relationships. Unless a NAWALT materializes in my living room, but I think I’m pretty safe.
3. Always been there, I never liked hookups and stopped doing it around 20.
4. Always been there, I recently refused a promotion that would have meant more money but more hours (might have contributed to the divorce, now that I think of it). I just want to earn enough to live decently, but still have time to spend with my dog, read a book, watch movies…

But enough with me, I have questions for you guys : I know I still have a weak spot for beautiful women. Even if I know I don’t want one in my life, I can’t help but gaze when they go by. I put barriers up to ensure I stick to my decision : I dress down, no watch or jewelry, an electric car that’s awesome to drive but doesn’t look like much on the outside, nothing flashy that’s likely to attract a succubus. But the reptilian brain is strong and even at 37, the sex drive is still there. What do you guys do to resist the pull? Watch porn to get desensitized? It’s still looking at, thinking about, fantasizing about… women. I feel like it generates frustration and wastes mental energy. Is there a way to channel that energy into something productive?

[…Spectator 1165]

Tyrion: welcome to the mgtow forums brother. RE your question, just go out and get a piece of ass. Keyword being GO OUT. don’t bring them to your place. hotels are good….i prefer parking lots since there is no expense and the danger level makes the women come harder. no reason MGTOW can’t be f~~~ing their brains out – all the time. The thing to remember is to be prepared for all the s~~~ storms women will start and to have all your self defense in place. Enjoy the posts!

[aroomwithaviewParticipant 6]

Welcome!

I am new here as well & am also interested in anyone’s advice & perspective about the libido question. It is especially difficult to gauge because all of us have been shamed & controlled our entire lives as a result of our sex drives. Sometimes it is cut & dry but others it is a case of almost everything we do being attributed to our “out of control” sex drives.

Dads to their daughters say things like “guys are only after one thing” & that was never my attitude or setting personally, especially if I hadn’t decided whether I liked the girl & whether or not I felt attracted to her; assumption being I would at all times f~~~ any woman.

So I do think it is important to avoid feeling shame about having a sex drive, which is natural. And being heterosexual we are attracted to women – the only way we are allowed to have a valid perspective about sex drive is when women are removed from the equation (feminist persepctive that male desire equals thought rape & rape fuel) but it seems like the consensus among most gay dudes is that men are sexually indiscriminate animals, as well. This doesn’t help, obviously.

To guys who have not been MGTOW in the past who have been dealing with MGTOW issues on the dating scene, being friend zoned & led around by their dicks, etc. (even that last phrase I found myself using is indicative of what I think is part of the perception problem of simplifying & boiling the male motivation down to a single thing) I have in the past given the advice that the male aphrodisiac with women, should be that the woman is attracted to YOU. Don’t get worked up & excited jumping through hoops & decide to want someone as a trajectory. Through which you can be led on & taken advantage of – giving flowers & accolades to me has always seemed like an invitation for women to take advantage of men. And also few sexually/romantically successful guys ever seem to do that stuff. Even though women seem to universally give the advice that men should definitely do it; show us your sucker badge & submit your credit rating upon application.

So, & I may be wrong because I am new as well, but my persepctive is that its fine to get with a woman so long as we maintain control of the terms, including  having a say in sexual outcomes; whether or not sex happens – men can and do say no when women say yes sometimes, after all. And sometimes walking away & saying no to a woman is a very empowering thing. They go insane if you ever turn them down. Even if you are hooking up & they say “I don’t want to go all the way” if you respond by saying “fine, me neither” & act consistently with that, they will freak the f~~~ out on you. So i’d tak the opportunity as a MGTOW to get your mind right about sex & try to cultivate an empowering fantasy life as well. I don’t think chastity is the stting of choice, so if you are going to fantasize about women I guess think about a woman from a culture of sanity who is attracted & desirous of you. I think most of the things we do ought to be supportive of our emancipation & independence. There is no reason why fantasy can’t be that as well when doing a bit of male maintenance.

I apologize to everyone for my inability to be brief about anything if this comment was TLDR; It is a failing of mine, but I am also new so I am full of thoughts, questions & ideas  in relation to this & many other subjects.

Brent

PS. Tyrion your communication & language were great. I think one of the great things about being here is you don’t have to apologize for anything. Your post was perfectly eloquent & communicated your experiences very well.

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2752]

Welcome Tyrion.  You have arrived in the right place.  Red pills galore with lots of intelligent, non-judgmental people.

Great intro, and I feel for you.  It is also good to have another military person here.  A couple of my thoughts:

Tyrion wrote:

The aftermath is pretty bad. I went from being a 27 yo single, set for retirement (from the military) and full home ownership (loan paid) at 37, to being a 37 yo single set for retirement at 67 (if laws don’t change) and renting a house I have to furnish from scratch. It basically took me 10 years to take a step back. Yeah, I’m a bit bitter…

Been there, big financial step backwards, but the money lost is worth the sanity and peace gained.  You will be bitter for a while — I was/am.  The more you can move past the bitterness and look forward and not back, the happier you will become.

Tyrion wrote:

One the plus size, it could have been much worse : there’s no child support or alimony, I still have my dog (she tried, if you can believe it)

Lucky dog, both of you.  And yes, I believe it.

Tyrion wrote:

Unless a NAWALT materializes in my living room, but I think I’m pretty safe.

The more you understand that they are truly unicorns (i.e. they don’t exist), the easier it gets.

As for your question.  Rest assured it does get easier.  For starters, age actually helps, at least it did for me.  As you push through 40, the urge starts to wane.  I also found the red pills to be very helpful.  When I see a beautiful woman, I get the attraction but it is immediately countered with thoughts of the s~~~ she would be more than willing to put me through and how she would gladly blow whatever money I have left for the privilege of letting her blow me.

I have the advantage(?) of a second divorce.  I was still blue-pilling it, thinking about NAWALTS, true love, living happily ever after.  I rebounded quickly into a second marriage.  After going through a year of hell and watching my finances get destroyed, I got out a lot wiser but a lot poorer.

Lastly, you actually answer the question yourself:

Tyrion wrote:

Is there a way to channel that energy into something productive?

That is exactly what you need to do.  Find something productive to channel your energy into.  Whether it is a job, working out, a hobby, whatever.  I am working on my Masters degree.

If you need to satisfy your male urges, there is plenty of advice on this site on how to get in and out without another major setback.

Glad to have you on board,

-Obvious

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

[…Spectator 1165]

Aroomwithaview: Since Obvious did such an outstanding post right before this one, I’ll direct my post to you and your questions.

Your observations are correct and astute. In today’s f~~~ed up world, there are nearly no role models for young men to follow and all the older ones that guys like me looked up to are either dead or in process of having some Feminist C~~~ at a college rewriting their histories. Bunch of f~~~ing bulls~~~. Can’t even be in the f~~~ing Boy Scouts now. F~~~.

Anyway, I think the whole MGTOW set of ideas breaks down a little differently depending on what age man you are and what your experience levels are. I am going to guess your age at between 20-30 and let me know how close or off I am. It makes a lot more sense to participate in sexual activities for younger men because the dreaded semen build up can actually f~~~ your head up quite well. Only thing that is worse is the smell of estrogen coming from a nearby woman you can’t have. That being said, I agree with Cap Ob because it does change during the aging process. I’m looking ahead at my next milestone being 60 and my older best friend was still picking up hot 20 y o chicks at his local bar until about six months ago. his drive never waned in all the decades that I have known him. Couple weeks ago he said he thought he was finally free from needing a piece of ass. I’m not free of it, I’m just paying the bill for the last serious hot piece of ass off right now. Went to one of the credit cards and checked today….its at 5900, basically six grand. The gift of her expense keeps on giving at 23% interest while the smell of her young pussy has been long gone awhile now. I as well sometimes write very long ass posts on here and young brother: no one gives a flying f~~~ how long your post is, just write and get it out of your system.

RE the last part of your post…one thing that I learned after finding this website is that the strategy I was already using in denying women and ignoring them was a first class mgtow idea all the way. Happy to give no f~~~s about them atm while rebuilding my bank account.

 

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2752]

… wrote:

I’m not free of it, I’m just paying the bill for the last serious hot piece of ass off right now. Went to one of the credit cards and checked today….its at 5900, basically six grand. The gift of her expense keeps on giving at 23% interest while the smell of her young pussy has been long gone awhile now.

+1 for that nugget of wisdom.

Thinking about how much pu$$y has cost me is a real boner-killer.

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

[Governor Megachris%Participant 3584]

Holy cow, $6,000?  I thought my own payments I was making to build credit was a lot!  I’m so glad I avoided any trainwrecks like that…

[Anonymous 42]

Tyrion wrote:

Hello everyone, First, I apologize in advance for not being as eloquent as some of you are, English is not my first language.

You men are amazing, keep writing as long as you need to, I’ll read every word. This thread is a great observational platform, a perfect machine, the thoughts are pure and unfeminized, or let’s say it’s sanitized from female contortions. It’s a “clean room” where progress and breakthrough are attainable. It’s a perfect silence, and void of feminist illusions.

It’s much like watching robots repair each-other, I wish I were here when I went MOW, it would have been better and safer. But never the less, I am alive, I am a survivor, I am one in a million that is alive, and not dead. Therefore I speak for the dead, being a survivor.

MGTOW SAVES LIVES, AND REPATRIATES MEN TO MANHOOD!

Perhaps a MGTOW dude ranch is not out of the question. If I could, I would.

[Smitty the Great OneParticipant 1535]

Best part of MGTOW, you get to do what you like to do, and none of the s~~~ you don’t. You want women in you life, fine we know how to do it. You want to go without, we know how to do that.Idea on a new hobby, someone to answer a perplexing question, or have a beer with, yeah we know how to do that too. The whole levels thing is cool, but there is no set orthodoxy of MGTOW. We run the gamet from multi-divorced, never married, emotionally amputated, disgruntled crowd. For all the damage you’d think we’d be angrier, but that too fades and you get to do all those things you always wanted to do but couldn’t because………..

 

so no man, you are definitely NOT s snowflake….

Life is too long to play by someone elses rules....

[TyrionParticipant 14]

Thanks to all of you for the support and constructive remarks. It helped me figure out what I want more precisely, at least for now.

I think I don’t want women in my life, at all. I’m still a bit shakey and I’m afraid a pretty face might destroy my resolution and make me fall into another relationship (thanks Obvious for that one). And I don’t want a piece of ass either. Right now, for me, the best-sex-night-ever isn’t worth the time, effort and game that it would require, even ignoring the potential consequences. And let’s face it, it probably wouldn’t be the best-sex-night-ever anyway! Louis CK sums it up perfectly: ‘Go f~~~ someone else, I’ll jerk off to you later and probably have a better time!’

At least for now, this is my course of action. When I feel stronger in my resolve, I’ll reconsider. But for now, it’s ME-time. Time to dig up projects I never built and stuff I never learned. This is gonna be fun 🙂

[Smitty the Great OneParticipant 1535]

Louis CK sums it up perfectly: ‘Go f~~~ someone else, I’ll jerk off to you later and probably have a better time!’

How bad does that make women?

Life is too long to play by someone elses rules....

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Tyrion wrote:

What do you guys do to resist the pull? Watch porn to get desensitized?

You don’t have to resist the pull. It’s biological destiny for men to be attracted to women – and you can’t reform biology. But you CAN reform social conditioning that tells you that you’re a “loser” if you don’t have a girlfriend. That’s the biggest pile of s~~~ running. Instead of “dressing down”… just “don’t dress UP” is my attitude… but there is a BIG satisfaction in self-improvement, continuing to work out, staying in great shape, eating right and being noticed (because women notice when men don’t pay attention to them).. but you’re just busy and not that interested. Understandable!

I often liken women to those blade-sharpening tools with the big wheel and the stool to sit on – with the foot pedal. As long as you keep pumping the pedal and make efforts, there’s action(!) and you may even see sparks!!…… but release your foot and stop working, and women become rather bland and uninteresting. They just don’t stimulate on their own. They just kinda sit there in the corner waiting for you to do all the work. So if you’re busy and focused on other things you barely notice them.

Saw your intro as soon as you made it, and thanks to everyone for beating me to greeting you.
Welcome to MGTOW and thanks for joining!

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[TyrionParticipant 14]

Hi KeyMaster, thanks for the welcome. I very much like the grinding wheel analogy, as it underlines one of the very few social norms that are beneficial to us : we are expected to chase them. When we don’t, most women are unable to go above their social conditioning of being princesses that white knights have to rescue.

That makes 90% of women leave you alone and you’ll never hear from them. And for the remaining 10%, they don’t like it and frustration makes them show their true colors, they become bitchy and aggressive, which is much easier to spot and fend off.

No risk of being seduced by that, a clear win in my book. Thanks, social norm! You proved useful for once 🙂

For those interested on this subject, I found this great post : http://www.canadianc~~~.org/2015/02/12/breaking-your-addiction-to-women/

[J.D SilvernailParticipant 383]

Dude being a MGTOW does not mean being a monk. You can have sex as long as you don’t get married.

I'm married to the game,but she broke her vows.

[Author]

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