Should I leave of should I stay? Some please give me words of courage!

[LatinMgtow1981Participant 14]

I’m from Texas …I had recently post a topic about my situation with my crazy abusive ex wife and my son who has autism. I haven’t slept full nights just thinking about what I’m going through and if I should just leave far away. I came to the conclusion and reassurance that I was only used as a seed and of monetary means at the time. I never wanted her around before she got pregnant but she fought with tooth and nail to get me to approve of her. I really thought maybe she loved me and I should give that girl a chance. Only to come home from work and find her cheating while my son was only a few weeks old. Now that my son is 8 she shows her ultimate true colors, she hits my son’s arms and legs if he tries to tell me about his abusive step father. He barely talks due to his autism issue and they both abuse my poor son now his little brother calls he “sonso” in spanish witch means stupid. She gets her yearly income tax and my son’s government checks only to get boob jobs and ass jobs. She can’y really even pronounce words properly or read and write at an illiterate stage but she works with an attorney. I guess the married attorney is smashing that on the side and she is again cheating like the only thing she knows. She is so disgusting looking and has this weird odor to her  and every chance she gets she’s offensive and extremely rude to me specially and to my mother at times, I try not to make contact with her. Every time she would bring my son I would send my mom to get him. By the way the only reason she always brought him on the weekend was because she wanted to be free to do her things by herself and that fat guy she’s with. I’m so sick, I want to be here for my son and protect him but I feel I have my hands tied up to protect him fully. I feel like I’m endangering my freedom by staying here because she makes every excuse to call the cops and falsely accuses me of things which cops can tell she’s making up but I fear one day a cop will believe her and I will end up in prison or jail. After everything that I’ve mentioned, Should I stay in this town and keep suffering this torment or should I pack my stuff and leave to another city or even maybe state? Please also take in consideration that I have no brothers or sisters or relatives who I can talk to. The only two people in my life are my mother and son. Please help me make and understand my final choice…

[BigDParticipant 3024]

Walk away.  Just walk away.

Don't stick your dick into anyone you aren't willing to put up with for eighteen years and nine months.

[LatinMgtow1981Participant 14]

Walk away as in move away far to another state please elaborate. Thankyou…

[RedHeadedStrangerParticipant 204]

2 paths here, as I see it:

1) do everything in your power to get your son out of her house because he is being abused.  call protective services on her, take pictures of his injuries, harass the s~~~ out of the social workers.  get johnny law up HER ass until he is in a hospital.  then you can fight to get custody from the state.  it doesn’t sound like you can afford the legal battle, but if the state takes him away from her, you can more easily get custody of him.

and/or

2) move to mexico. now.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

1. Fight for your son. It will be very difficult but you’re the only person he has to fight for him.

2. Walk away and never look back.

These are very extreme choices and only you can make them.

We can tell you our thoughts and feelings …. but …. you’re the poor bastard that is going to live this.

Take as much time as you need to decide. This is life changing and possibly forever.

We’re here bro …. keep asking questions. Nobody gets hurt from that.

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

Keep a diary of everything that happens. If cops come write their names or badge numbers. Write down time, why, when, who etc.
Take pictures of your son if he has been abused and call child services. Eventually cops will probably assume she’s lying if she lied in the past. They probably all know her name by now. If I was you I would stay with until he’s old enough that you can take him away from her.

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[SmarchitectParticipant 28]

If I consider retreat as an option, retreat is the option.

[LatinMgtow1981Participant 14]

retreat in what sense?

[RoyDalParticipant]

RedHeadedStranger wrote:

1) do everything in your power to get your son out of her house because he is being abused.  call protective services on her, take pictures of his injuries, harass the s~~~ out of the social workers.  get johnny law up HER ass until he is in a hospital.  then you can fight to get custody from the state.  it doesn’t sound like you can afford the legal battle, but if the state takes him away from her, you can more easily get custody of him.

Crazy Canuck wrote:

Keep a diary of everything that happens. If cops come write their names or badge numbers. Write down time, why, when, who etc.
Take pictures of your son if he has been abused and call child services. Eventually cops will probably assume she’s lying if she lied in the past. They probably all know her name by now. If I was you I would stay with until he’s old enough that you can take him away from her.

I agree with choice number one and the follow up advice, above. That said, I have a character trait that causes me to fight uphill battles against overwhelming odds. For all I know, it’s some kind of self-destructive psychological urge — but I’m not sorry I stuck up for the little guys a time or two. Siding against the bully is always the unpopular choice with the mob. It can be done, but it is not easy.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[LatinMgtow1981Participant 14]

The battle in court is not my worst battle yet.. My real battle is dealing with that monster. She’s vindictive, calculative, verbally abusive, pathological liar, false accusatory and a true socio path narcissist. The battle is facing future false accusations from a terrible person like her. It’s scary and I feel it jeopardizes my mental well being and freedom due to the way she handles things. There is no winning with a woman like her.

[d-fensParticipant 18]

Hi,

it sounds clear to me that your current situation is unsustainable. It doesn’t make sense to linger if in the process you can’t protect your son anyways and ruin your own life. So basically you have two options:

1. escalate the conflict with the ultimate goal to get your son out of that hellhole. I can’t really say much about that, because i do not know your actual situation and options. I am pretty sure though that you need to leave your emotions behind and need to start to make a plan based on a rational, calculating and most important unscrupulous stance. Approach it like a chess player would, watch carefully at your ex weaknesses and ways to exploit them. Some people already mentioned protective service and social workers. Make a plan and line up actions that get you closer to your goal while minimizing exposure. Don’t wait for situations to happen, make them happen and make sure the police/social worker is involved at the right time at the right place. Basically picture scenarios that would make your ex loose custody and get working on it. It is probably a long term project.

2. Walk away. Morally i would not blame you, because no one can expect you to sacrifice your own well being for a situation like this. Your ex has as much responsibility for your son as you do.

[vincentosaurusParticipant 147]

First off that is a terrible situation and I am truly saddened by it. To me it is the absolute worse thing that woman can do when they use children as a means to their end. I am sorry you are dealing with this and I absolutely understand why you want to run for the hills.

That being said remember all the s~~~ you have to deal with from her? Your child deals with it too and from his mother no less. Your son only has you to help him.

I’m not saying this is easy or that there is some magical solution to the problem because there isn’t but at the end of the day if you don’t stick up for him no one will. I know this because I was one of those kids nobody tried to help. Dealing with her sounds like mental torture but you have to weigh it like this: which is more important to you, your life or your childs? If you walk away can you live with that or will it haunt you? You shouldn’t have to make a choice like that, it’s not fair or ok in any way but it’s the reality of the situation.

I have a good friend who had an extremely abusive psychotic wife. He stayed with her for years, he hated it and he hated her. Why did he stay so long? His two step children. He had raised and cared for them as if they were his own and he knew if he left he would have no parental rights since he was not their biological father. So he waited it out for years until he had buit a good enough case against her and in the end he actually ended up with custody. He told me he never regretted this and all that torture was worth it because he has the love and respect of his children. The reason I am telling you this is to let you know it won’t be easy but you CAN win this. If you stick with it, play it right, it is possible.

Now if fighting for your son is the path you want to take I’ll tell you how he did it.

1- Record everything. Invest in a good recorder you can hide in your pocket or use a cellphone and save the files on your computer. (video is even better but not always possible) Record her when you question her about the marks on your son (remember even if she blames it on the boyfriend the state still can take the child from her for keeping him around her kid). If she threatens you ask her why and start recording, be specific and record your question too. (for example say “why did you just threaten to hit me?” if she answers with a reason why this is as good as an admission from her that she threatened to hit you) Never let her know you are doing this. You also mentioned she is rude to your mother? If that goes past rude to verbal abuse, get her a recorder too.

2- File reports. If your son has marks file a report. If the police are called (and DO call the police) don’t let them talk you into dropping it. Does she have neighbours? Chances are they hear the abuse happening. Talk to them (again do NOT let her know you are doing this) and ask them to call the police or social services anytime they hear something. Is your son old enough for school or does he attending any kind of daycare? Talk to them too. Persuade them to file a report any time they see marks on him.

3- Keep copies of everything. Double sopies even keep one online and one on paper. Any time the police are involved record the names or badge numbers of the officers. Anytime social services is involved keep a record of everything done and including their names. Be detailed and don’t forget to add the date and time of any incident.

4- Talk to social services. If they don’t already have a file on the situation report it to them so that they do. Be polite and never lose your temper with them. Remember they are the ones who can take your child from her and they are the ones who can decide where he goes. You want to make a good impression on them. Impress upon them the serverity of the situation and the danger to your son. Make regular appointments to meet with them and discuss the situation. This will keep the case fresh in their minds. Do things to impress them. You said your son has autism? Take a course on childhood autism or anything dealing with taking care of children. Keep a home that always has a spot ready for your son and let them know it. Parenting courses are also a good call. Don’t be afraid to ask their advice and be honest about your intentions, you want the save your child from a dangerous home let them know it.

5- Keep your cool and stick to your guns. This is more complicated than it sounds and is certainly the hardest one. Don’t loose your temper. I’m not saying be a push over or have no emotions but don’t give her ANY reason to file anything against you and don’t give social services/police a reason to side with her more than they already do since she’s female. To make this work you have to get the police and social services on your side. Don’t let your frusteration make you give up, keep with it because if you’re stubborn enough it will work. Pick good places to vent your frusteration (you’re on here so you’re already doing that part).

If you decide this is the path you want to take and need elaboration on any part of this ask me and I will do my best to give it. You can do this.

[SteveParticipant 462]

Firstly I’m sorry to read that and learn of your very difficult position. Talk with the guys here, talk with your mother, talk with any male friends you have or even a professional counsellor. You need to talk it through right now which will give you strength and focus on the game plan.

I don’t know you or how strong you are but as a Dad you have to be there and fight for your son. His mother and her partner abusing him? And his younger brother calling him stupid? F~~~ no that’s not right.

Try and do it the legal official way, it will be hard. If it doesn’t work that way then look at less official ways, a plan B if you like. Pick him up one weekend and take him to Mexico or somewhere they can’t find you both and start over. Sounds like his abusive mother doesn’t love your boy enough to chase you anyway. If that’s impracticable and you need to stay in America then there are other even less official possibilities.

Talk it through with as many people as you can to keep yourself from going insane. Fight whatever way you can for your son.

Keep posting on here and we will keep an eye on you.

[LatinMgtow1981Participant 14]

Thankyou everyone for your input. I really don’t want any problems anymore, I think I will leave far away, step out of the picture and hope she does what’s right.

[LatinMgtow1981Participant 14]

Thank you for your input. I really don’t want any problems anymore, I think I will leave far away, step out of the picture and hope she does what’s right.

[LatinMgtow1981Participant 14]

I’m just out of energy and drained, I think I will move on

[BDParticipant 1146]

LatinMgtow1981 wrote:

Only to come home from work and find her cheating while my son was only a few weeks old.

I’m going to throw out a wildcard, considering her track record, I apologize, please do not hate me.

Did you ever have a paternity test done?

Because in order to be able to think, you have to risk being offensive.

[LatinMgtow1981Participant 14]

No problem, yes my boy is mine. I took a paternity test. My boy is an incredible human being. I was just thinking about him right now, he’s so funny. Like I mentioned, he suffers from moderate autism so he has trouble speaking. I will never forget 2 months ago when he looked in my eyes and said. Daddy I don’t want a girlfriend, I was like huh?? and asked why… He responded with ” I know girls lie” I started laughing so hard because thats my mentality. I asked him ,”where did you hear that”? He was like “from youtube videos pa” It was like a joy I will never forget. I was raised without siblings, raised by a single mother and I feel he’s all I have who understands me. It’s like the hardest thing in the world guys. I can’t handle this no more, she basically ruined my life and I’m a very strong guy who never cries but to be honest this takes my life away. Long nights are endless of sorrow, I sleep until 6 am just thinking and thinking. My little mgtow is my world and he is being taken by a woman. My hands are tight together with this system who only brings men to their knees.

[SteveParticipant 462]

Sounds like you need a break and some space and time to clear your head. A trip away for a month or so away from it all may help you gain some strength and some clarity. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing your final decision now.

Keep strong fella, keep in touch on here.

[LatinMgtow1981Participant 14]

Yeah, thats exactly what I need. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. I need a break.

[Author]

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