Should I contact my father last seen 17 years ago

[Silent NoiseParticipant 211]

Is there any point to contacting my father? I haven’t seen him since I was 5. I have his email from a card he sent 6 years ago. I’m 22 now. He’s a commercial pilot afaik. He was sexually abusive and now I see that was the lizard brain and I don’t hold it against him. That’s why my mother took me away.

Why now? Maybe it’s just a search for meaning because I haven’t found much meaning in anything. Going my own way, so far, is just low-budget entertainment with the freedom to move around. That’s meaning in itself, and MGTOW is a good foundation, but I haven’t found anything i’m interested in building on this solid foundation.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Silent Noise wrote:

Is there any point to contacting my father?

Isn’t having the will to do it enough?

My father/parents were married until he died. Only YEARS after his death did I really understand all things he did NOT say when he was alive.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 54]

Find out what you think of him from your now older perspective. A truth seeking mission. But you owe him nothing.Funny,I recently have spoken to my old man for the first time in 20 years. My gift to a dieing Man.

[narwhalParticipant]

What are you hoping to accomplish? Are you thinking of forgiving him? Do you need to talk to him about something else? Do you want a relationship with him now?

Ok. Then do it.

[Anonymous 16]

my 50 cents on this.
y father is an ass.hole.
Here in MGTOW we rant a lot about women (couse we are not gay soo there is no danger in getting court raped by a men).
But do not put other men on the pedestal.
AMALT also apply here.
I just dont trust anyone.

[Silent NoiseParticipant 211]

narwhal wrote:

What are you hoping to accomplish? Are you thinking of forgiving him? Do you need to talk to him about something else? Do you want a relationship with him now?

I don’t need anything from him, nor a relationship.

If I had a meaningful reason to live, this probably wouldn’t be a thought. I think it’s ultimately just grasping for straws. If I can’t find meaning then I’ll stay a nihilist and that sucks.

[BigDParticipant 3024]

Was he abusive to you? Was he abusive to your mother? Was your mother lying and he wasn’t abusive at all? Do you remember the abuse?

I am not in your shoes. I cannot tell you what to do. However, knowledge is power and you can’t have enough power. I for one would talk to the man just to see what his side of life’s story is.

Don't stick your dick into anyone you aren't willing to put up with for eighteen years and nine months.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

When a boy is a child he sees his father through the lens of a child.

When a boy becomes a man he sees his father through the lens of a man.

What you saw as a child has distortions. Therefore, you cannot complete your journey of becoming a man until you reconcile the lens of the child.

Good luck

Peace brothers

[Anonymous 16]

In my case i saw my father iwth kid and men eyes.
Both times despicable.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Anonymous wrote:

My father is an ass.hole.

I think – and this is only my opinion – alot of Dads get a bad rap. Maybe they really are “assholes”, but I also know men get a bad rap. And it’s quite remarkable how much of an “ASSHOLE” you have to be, when a woman is determined to make your life a living hell.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 16]

But they are rigth, maybe you should see him and find your peace.
but remember to see with clarity and brain, not emotions.

[Chaff/FlareParticipant 3235]

This:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1pHEZQzQ-uZd1hDSm1ySDlhU28/view?usp=sharing

And This:

Silent Noise wrote:

If I had a meaningful reason to live, this probably wouldn’t be a thought. I think it’s ultimately just grasping for straws. If I can’t find meaning then I’ll stay a nihilist and that sucks.

Are connected. I just don’t know how to articulate it.

When you find yourself in the majority, it's time to reflect.

[Anonymous 16]

Keymaster wrote:

Heguen wrote:

My father is an ass.hole.

I think – and this is only my opinion – alot off Dads get a bad rap. Maybe they really are “assholes”, but I also know men get a bad rap. And it’s quite remarkable how much of an “ASSHOLE” you have to be, when a woman is determined to make your life a living hell.

Sorry key, i mean a real asshole.
He got no simpaty at all for others, he fakes it, but guy doesnt feel s~~~.
Had 7 sons (and who know how many more) with diferent women. Drinker, almost a sociopath.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

DorkShit wrote:

When a boy is a child he sees his father through the lens of a child.
When a boy becomes a man he sees his father through the lens of a man.

What you saw as a child has distortions.

Agree totally.

Anonymous wrote:

He got no simpaty at all for others, he fakes it, but guy doesnt feel s~~~. Had 7 sons (and who know how many more) with diferent women. Drinker, almost a sociopath.

Yeah I know the type.
( Have had “the sociopath” for a boss before myself. )

But isn’t it fascinating that multiple women CHOSE to breed with a sociopath?? Women KNOWINGLY line up at prisons in droves to propose marriage and conjugal visits with murderers, convicts, drug dealers and abusive violent men.

Women love themselves a good sociopath.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

Do you want to hear his side of the story????

I won’t continue my line of thought is transparent enough.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

Will you regret it if you don’t contact him?

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[Jeremiah JohnsonParticipant 2219]

In my thoughts sir, we all go through a what the f~~~ does it all mean, what the f~~~ is all for moment in our male lives…Sometimes it lasts for a moment, sometimes it lasts until your final breath…Don’t be the latter…Contacting your dad after all this time…A sexually abusive dad…hmmmm…Well, as a son of a very, very violent father, who severely beat the daylights out of me for fifteen of my most important developmental years of my life….I can say that whether or not you will find the answers you seek is totally up to you…No one can answer that here…Only you brother…My father died February 07 2007…in the middle of the night with a blocked artery…I hated him my whole life…Nothing he could have done would have ever changed that…What did change…???? Getting to know my mother a lot better…As a grown ass man, I know understand the pressure he was under…The 12 hour rotating shifts as a coal miner…And a mother who just kept f~~~ing going with her mouth, until he f~~~ing blew…I get it now…He was an asshole…Does not change that at all, but I get why he was an asshole now…It at least makes sense to me now…She drove him to f~~~ing madness…I cannot say what I would have done in his place…He came from a time and place and family, that does not consider divorce or leaving your family because your wife is dumb and doesn’t know when to shut the f~~~ up…I apologize for the lengthy answer here, but I guess in summation, I am saying you just never know when or where or who the answers in life will come from…Be patient…Allow yourself to be TOTALLY honest with your self here…Is this what YOU need, is this what you really WANT???

Men are at a time when panning for gold in a urinal has a higher probability of success than finding a faithful and loving woman, it is time to go your own way.....

[VarunParticipant 2981]

Its totally up to you. But remember, some guys such as myself never had the privilege to meet our fathers…. and maybe that makes a lot of difference in how you and I look at the world.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

[UnicronParticipant 752]

You’re better off letting sleeping dogs lie, the happy ending only exists in Hollywood movies.

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

[RhinoParticipant 3477]

You have a lot of questions that need to be answered, and you might not like what you hear but it seems you need to hear them to move past what is bothering you and move on with your life. Some people think the truth will set you free while others know that it can put you into a mental prison if your character is not strong of will. No matter what you decide you need to move past those feelings and if talking to him is what it will take then do it. You may be surprised by the answers you hear from him every story has two sides to the same coin.

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