Should I care or just continue reaping the benefits?

[xgreenlanternoxParticipant 253]

Hello all!

I wanted to run a situation by you guys and get some opinions, because I don’t really know if I should care, or just continue to sit back smiling and reaping the benefits of my current situation.

My roommate is a complete Mangina. Let me give you the back story – 6 years ago the girl he was dating for years left him. Throughout this entire 6 years, he his literally still been pussy whipped by her regardless of whatever she does. She calls, he answers before the second ring, she asks him to come over he does, allthewhile he is not known as her boyfriend and is not getting laid either for his efforts.

Fast forward to 3 months ago. She finally decides she wants to move in. I personally had no problem with it, because I a lot to benefit from. They would share the same bedroom so my living space would not be interrupted and on top of it, my rent was significantly cut, and I also don’t pay for things like paper towels, toilet paper, coffee, or any other household item as part of an “inconvenience fee” – pretty sweet deal if you ask me because it allows me to start stock piling money away fast for security/rent/furnishings at a new place when im ready to leave without having to take a huge and unexpected hit to my savings.

The problem comes in with what I am witnessing though. I see now why she moved in. Every night I go to the gym and when I come home, she is sitting on the couch staring mindlessly at the same news broadcast on the TV while he is in the kitchen cooking. After dinner, he cleans, does the dishes and gets the morning coffee prepared before he goes to bed. He has confided in me more than once, most recently less than 1 month ago that she still has not paid anything towards her 3rd nor does she contribute anything towards the food bill (which is huge with all the s~~~ they are stocking up on). It is clear she moved in as a way to get everything for free and he’s being such a mangina that he doesn’t even realize it because he “loves” her LOL…

My dilemma is, he is a good friend of mine, but i’ve seen other people try to bring up her faults to him and he brushes them off or simply runs from the conversation saying he doesnt want to talk about it. She is a perfect angel in his eyes and basically every conversation we ever have an opportunity has to arise to include why she does whatever we are talking about so perfectly. Do I figure out a way to tell him he’s being used by a typical low-quality female, or do I just continue to let him throw his man card in the garbage and sit back smiling reaping all the benefits I am getting?

Please note, her presence here has had no impact on me in any way shape or form. I have not changed a single aspect regarding how I conduct my life to ensure her additional comfort nor do I ever permit her to be in my way of anything – I clearly assert my presence in this house and that will not change.

Thanks guys!

[XSDBSParticipant 3598]

If she is not contributing (rent, utilities, groceries, cook, clean, laundry, sex) in any way, what benefits are you reaping exactly?

[xgreenlanternoxParticipant 253]

XSDBS wrote:

If she is not contributing (rent, utilities, groceries, cook, clean, laundry, sex) in any way, what benefits are you reaping exactly?

I no longer pay half of the living expenses – I now pay 1/3. I also do not have the responsibility of contributing towards the household expenses of toilet paper, paper towels, coffee, garbage bags, soap, etc because that was mine and my roommates agreement in exchange for me agreeing that she can live here.

In essence, the only one getting screwed is my roommate and he is doing nothing to stop it…

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

XS,
It sounds as if her share of the rent is not being paid for her by the mangina, and xgreen is now paying 1/3 instead of 1/2 the rent. It’s a tricky situation because she is clearly taking advantage of the mangina, and green sounds like he’s unsure how guilty he is in what’s being done to his friend. I’d say that maybe you can try to explain this to him (once), but it’s likely that he’s made the decision to ‘have a woman at any cost’, and she is just showing up to collect that cost. You mentioned that others have tried to tell him and he won’t listen, or can’t understand. So it’s unlikely you’ll be able to get through to him any better.

But if you at least try one time, when he finally does wake up to what’s being done to him, he won’t look at you as though you were in on it, and you can still be friends. The other thing you might do, which is equally unlikely to produce any change, is to tell that free-loading parasite that she should get a damn job and quit being a leech… although your terms whole probably be more diplomatic since you have to live with her at least for now.

Having done both of these things, you will have been the most honorable person that you could be in the midst of what is a pretty dishonorable thing being done to your friend. The only other thing would be to maintain your friendship closely enough that when you finally realizes what’s happening here, that you can be there to direct him to mgtow.com

Your friend reminds me of that quote about there being “none so blind as those who have eyes but refuse to see…”.

If he ever does agree to see, be there to show him this place.

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[xgreenlanternoxParticipant 253]

BrainPilot wrote:

XS, It sounds as if her share of the rent is not being paid for her by the mangina, and xgreen is now paying 1/3 instead of 1/2 the rent. It’s a tricky situation because she is clearly taking advantage of the mangina, and green sounds like he’s unsure how guilty he is in what’s being done to his friend. I’d say that maybe you can try to explain this to him (once), but it’s likely that he’s made the decision to ‘have a woman at any cost’, and she is just showing up to collect that cost. You mentioned that others have tried to tell him and he won’t listen, or can’t understand. So it’s unlikely you’ll be able to get through to him any better. But if you at least try one time, when he finally does wake up to what’s being done to him, he won’t look at you as though you were in on it, and you can still be friends. The other thing you might do, which is equally unlikely to produce any change, is to tell that free-loading parasite that she should get a damn job and quit being a leech… although your terms whole probably be more diplomatic since you have to live with her at least for now. Having done both of these things, you will have been the most honorable person that you could be in the midst of what is a pretty dishonorable thing being done to your friend. The only other thing would be to maintain your friendship closely enough that when you finally realizes what’s happening here, that you can be there to direct him to mgtow.com Your friend reminds me of that quote about there being “none so blind as those who have eyes but refuse to see…”. If he ever does agree to see, be there to show him this place.

You hit the nail directly on the head my friend – this is exactly what I am talking about right here. I just really am not sure what to do or how to go about it. For example, I overheard my one friend try to bring up the subject when the 3 of us were hanging out at the apartment before she moved in. I was in the other room and overheard everything. All my one friend tried to say was “bro you could do so much better than this” and immediately all i heard in a semi-hostile tone was “i don’t want to talk about this, it’s not like that, no it isn’t”. Ever since then, I swear to you, their friendship has significantly deteriorated. Not even a month later my buddy asked me when we were grabbing a beer after work why my roommate barely talks to him anymore. I knew the reason… and they were extremely tight friends for years – we even took him in when his house was hit by hurricane Sandy at no charge and yet over that simple comment the entire dynamic of the friendship was changed.

The fear I have is if I open my mouth the same thing will happen. More over than money, I don’t want to lose a good friend who has had my back through a lot of s~~~, but I also know that his mentality is that ANYONE who is not her complete and total ally is the enemy… The most f~~~ed up part about this all? She has a job and makes more money than him!!! I feel like my only option is to sit back and wait for the inevidable to happen and try to show him the way moving forward, but I doubt that is ever going to work because he is truly deadset on that “family” fantasy.

He asks me why I don’t give women a fair chance and I tell him all the time because women are trash, but i’m sure it won’t surprise you the response I get……. NAWALT.

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

I am one of a group of friends who’ve been friends since high school (30+) years now.The first of us to get married did so to a girl all of us knew was an immature little princess. As soon as they are married, she began to try to distance him from the rest of us, along with all the other classic signs (guy sells motorcycle, buys golf cart… that kinda crap). A few years went by… it disintegrated and his life was miserable for a while. I and his other friends rallied around him. She was gone. We were back.

He later said to me that he couldn’t believe what a bitch she had been. I responded that he was the only one who didn’t believe it… that for the rest of us it was no surprise at all. He asked me right to my face, “Why didn’t somebody tell me?”. I answered him, “What exactly would I have said to convince you that she was a bitch, when you lived with her and couldn’t see it for yourself? What would I have said that would have been more believable to you than your won experience with her?”.

He never brought it up again, and we’re still friends to this day (he’s been married two more times since then). The second one was a bitch too…lol. But the third one seems to be a little more tolerable, at least for now. I think about that conversation though, and it makes me wish I would have at least tried on that first one. He would not have listened, but I would have had a better answer when he asked, “Why didn’t somebody tell me?”.

That was the basis of my advice to you: Try (once) but don’t expect anything to change. Just do it so later you can say you at least tried and you guys will still be friends…

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[xgreenlanternoxParticipant 253]

BrainPilot wrote:

I am one of a group of friends who’ve been friends since high school (30+) years now.The first of us to get married did so to a girl all of us knew was an immature little princess. As soon as they are married, she began to try to distance him from the rest of us, along with all the other classic signs (guy sells motorcycle, buys golf cart… that kinda crap). A few years went by… it disintegrated and his life was miserable for a while. I and his other friends rallied around him. She was gone. We were back. He later said to me that he couldn’t believe what a bitch she had been. I responded that he was the only one who didn’t believe it… that for the rest of us it was no surprise at all. He asked me right to my face, “Why didn’t somebody tell me?”. I answered him, “What exactly would I have said to convince you that she was a bitch, when you lived with her and couldn’t see it for yourself? What would I have said that would have been more believable to you than your won experience with her?”. He never brought it up again, and we’re still friends to this day (he’s been married two more times since then). The second one was a bitch too…lol. But the third one seems to be a little more tolerable, at least for now. I think about that conversation though, and it makes me wish I would have at least tried on that first one. He would not have listened, but I would have had a better answer when he asked, “Why didn’t somebody tell me?”. That was the basis of my advice to you: Try (once) but don’t expect anything to change. Just do it so later you can say you at least tried and you guys will still be friends…

Seems like you have definitely seen this first hand for sure! While they are not married, pretty much everything you have said is beginning to happen. He doesn’t go out anymore, he hasn’t been out with his friends in over a month and he basically has no life outside of her. The guy had to even throw away his recyclables can because it didn’t match the kitchen (yes, this really did happen). He has replaced 90% of the decor in the house to her liking (which doesn’t bother me because I never cared about any of that stuff, but it’s costing him tons!!!) I am literally watching him be stripped of whatever manhood he had left and it’s just sad and depressing to watch.

You are right though – I do need to say something and at least try. I just have to think about how to go about it the best way possible. I think maybe I will wait until the next time he starts bitching about her again and then I can maybe start asking him some subliminal questions that would get his mind going rather than just flat out saying it out of nowhere. This will allow me to build up to the important part without giving him the chance to run away immediately. He’s an awesome person and would literally give the shirt off his back for you – he’s always been a brother to me and has had my back to the fullest through anything from stupid bar fights when we were younger to picking up females before I realized they were all worthless and not worth the effort anymore.

Thanks man – this has been very helpful and most appreciated. This community is amazing and very welcoming and I am really glad I found it. You all are awesome

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

I am in a similar situation with a work-partner friend of mine who got trapped by a single mom. He is complaining he has to drive her 10yo son to practices and school, and that she sits on her ass after work, but then again he seems to be enjoying it, so my thinking is – hey, let him enjoy it while it lasts – we only live once. He’s been burned before (coming back from Afghanistan to find his ex wife f~~~ing a muslim guy) – so he had his fair share of red pills, but man – it hurts watching this, just like you said – it’s like watching a train wreck in slow motion. It is ugly, but you can’t do much about it. I told him about MGTOW, so maybe the seed has planted, but hasn’t grown up just yet. He’ll get there sooner or later

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[xgreenlanternoxParticipant 253]

Russky wrote:

I am in a similar situation with a work-partner friend of mine who got trapped by a single mom. He is complaining he has to drive her 10yo son to practices and school, and that she sits on her ass after work, but then again he seems to be enjoying it, so my thinking is – hey, let him enjoy it while it lasts – we only live once. He’s been burned before (coming back from Afghanistan to find his ex wife f~~~ing a muslim guy) – so he had his fair share of red pills, but man – it hurts watching this, just like you said – it’s like watching a train wreck in slow motion. It is ugly, but you can’t do much about it. I told him about MGTOW, so maybe the seed has planted, but hasn’t grown up just yet. He’ll get there sooner or later

Well I sure hope he does get it eventually and you have done your part the best you can. Whether he takes the worthwhile advice or not is up to him now. Kudos to you for being a good friend. It does suck watching a close friend be stripped of his manhood. It’s even worse when he has openly told you not even a month ago that he is NOT getting laid either. I wish your friend the best of luck and hope he wakes up one day like we have…

[RoyDalParticipant]

@xgreenlanternox,
It sounds to me like the cost/benefit ratio is on your side … for now. I see no need to make his psychological stress your own. He is a grown up and has made his choices. I say, enjoy the ride, save the money, and bail when she turns on you which I suspect she will in time.

Full disclosure: I’ve had worse roommates. It all came out in the wash.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[SoldanoParticipant 108]

You can’t tell him that but you could try to give him hints.

Like: dude you seem tired you shouldn’t do all that by yourself.

Or: careful with the money your gonna end up without any money left in the bank if you pay for everything.

Just don’t make it about her. Avoid anything remotely related to her, it has to be about him.

[XSDBSParticipant 3598]

My concern (if I were in your shoes) is that she will turn your friend against you, using him as leverage to get her way.

You want to watch sports/movie, she wants to watch dancing with the stars.

She suddenly goes vegetarian, so no meat in the fridge.

She has a hangover from last night, so no noise or lights.

THE MOST IMPORTANT….have a secret stash of toilet paper, otherwise you’ll have to wipe your ass with one of her girly magazines.

[Author]

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