Should a single father date single mothers

[Jack HarperParticipant 2863]

So my divorce was finalized a little over two years ago.  I haven’t really jumped back into dating, and not sure I ever will now.  At first I wanted to, but the interest waned.  Now when I first considered dating I figured, as a single father, it would be hypocritical to exclude single mothers.  Also I had found from contacting some women through dating sites and in person that even if a woman seemed interested in me once she found out I had kids she was NOT interested, which I thought was interesting.  So I figured I’d have to be willing to date a single mother.  But then I started reading horror stories online about dating single mothers and advice to avoid them like the plague.  So my question is, would you guys say that advice extends even to those of us who are single fathers?  Should single fathers avoid single mothers?  I thought this would be an interesting discussion and my current opinion on the matter is ‘yes’. Single fathers should avoid single mothers whenever possible just as single guys without kids do.  This limits our dating pool but single fathers can not be classified the same as single mothers since we have no reproductive rights and 80% of the time women divorce us, usually with no valid reason.  Please discuss I’d love to hear opinions and experiences.

[Robert HallamParticipant 696]

My recommendation is, as always, avoid dating single mothers as though they were the plague.  They are absolutely toxic and I have no doubt that you have read or heard about all the reasons why.

As a single father you are either a) looking to date women as though you were a single man.  You are not looking for a mother for your kids, or b) looking to date women as though you were a single father without any expectations (as a divorcee), or c) looking to date women as though you were a single father with expectations of possible LTR.  The real difference among the three options is the disclosure; single, single with no expectations, single with expectations.

Not being in your shoes, I would get back into dating as a single man.  Women do no disclose their intentions.  They may just want anything from a hook up to marriage; and they a’int tellin’ you.  They always have an ulterior motive.  By the same token, it’s not necessary for you to disclose anything either.  Let them know you have kids at the appropriate time.

[Robert HallamParticipant 696]

I just want to add to the previous post.  It also depends on how you are doing the dating.  If it’s on-line, you pretty well have to include it in your profile.  If you are hitting the night life there is no obligation to tell anybody anything.  But if one woman finds out, you can bet the farm that the others will soon know.

[OldscoundrellParticipant 412]

I am soon to be done with my divorce and have contemplated the same thing. I just can’t get past this…

[Jack HarperParticipant 2863]

@colbshank  LOL. Like a nightmare.  Funnily enough my whore ex-wife loved that show growing up and has now made it a reality.

[FermatParticipant 3478]

Oh boy. Yes avoid single mothers. They are a problem and a half.  Go for the single post wall childless women if you absolutely must date and have sex and companionship. If you value your wallet, health, and sanity stay the hell away from single mothers.

I have discovered a truly remarkable list of reasons why women are not necessary for a happy life, but alas this margin is too small to contain it.

[RebalancedParticipant 346]

Being a single father myself and having had enough experience of dating single mothers (NEVER AGAIN). I totally agree that you should avoid single mothers like the plague even if you are a single father.

As for making the analogy that you as a single father would be hypocritical not to date a single mother, then an analogy can only be made between 2 things that are the same. Single fathers and single mothers aren’t the same, so that analogy is not valid and needs to get thrown out from jump st.

 

 

 

 

I don't need pussy

[Anonymous 11]

I’m not qualified on one angle of this as I have no children. I have dated single mothers and will never do it again.

I do have several points to offer though from my experiences.

1) Freshly divorced women are highly toxic. I recommend making a one year out rule.
2) Any woman who needs to use online dating should be considered more suspect than a non online woman. They’re all crazy, but ones met online tend to have more issues.
3) Watch out for divorced women using you as a lure to get back with their exs. I just got popped in that department. She was 10 months out from her divorce and post Wall with no kids. Being Red Pill made it 500 times easier on me.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

DON’T DO IT. IT’S A TRAP ?

I can’t beging to tell you how many ways it’s s~~~ … but will punt this one in your direction.

You child or children will become target no1 for removal.

They are toxic.

[bigboy83Participant 11312]

No male human being should ever date such a c~~~. I give you a little more advice, scroll up to CPIG post, about Divorced women too.

Divorce women are just as bad as single mothers, they have dirty little tricks, too.

Shit Tested, Cunt Approved.

[John Woods 13Participant 2855]

First off, from my point of view, you are in the best possible position, if I understood you correctly, you are no longer married and you have custody of your kids. If that is the case, you have the best deal ever. You get to have kids and raise them as you please, you have no child support to pay AND you are free to go your own way.

My answer: stay away from single moms. Even if you think your kids need a female figure, you should know that after 2 years old there is very little a woman can offer a child that a loving father can’t. As soon as they start speaking their first words all a woman can do is just hold them back from evolving into well rounded intelligent young people and eventually adults. Women will only try to keep them as childish and dependent on them as possible. Do you really want that in your kids’ life?

Please spare yourself and if you realy feel the need, date as a single guy for the occasional night out and some good sex but forget LTRs and especially single moms. You will just become the provider for HER kids and your kids will become last in the line of priorities.

The answer is NO. “I could but I won’t”. Memini murum!

[MGTOWmonkey aka No More Fucks To GiveParticipant 6635]

Stay the hell away from single mother’s!! I have a daughter and talk with plenty of childless women,remember feminist told them to not have kids and find a career so there’s plenty of them out there.

Never lose sight of what brought you here.

[I_Walk_AloneParticipant 580]

Nope. Don’t do it. At this stage any prospective partner will see you as nothing more than a wallet/taxi service/Beta provider. The fact that you are spending SOME of your money on YOUR children will be resented as you should be spending ALL of your money on HER children. She’ll hate your kids for ‘robbing her of what is rightfully hers.’

Then there is the matter of you paying for kids that aren’t even yours seven days a week when a court has only let you see your own kids at weekends. F~~~ that.

Single dad or not, they all operate in the same manner. Avoid.

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

n Women aren’t interested in men with children because they know they can’t get access to all of your resources. a big chunk of your money is spoken for. this is true regardless of whether or not your children live with or not.

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[Jon the Ex-SquidParticipant 298]

Focus on your kid(s). Avoid dating anyone. You’re one of the seemingly rare single fathers out there. If I had kids, I certainly wouldn’t let a woman distract me from having a relationship with them. A single mother will always want her kid to be the primary focus, even above your own. She’ll work her way in between you and your child because she wants to be the most important thing in your life (all the while focusing on her own child).

You have an obligation and a duty to protect, nurture and care for your kid(s). Would you bring a rabid dog into your house just because they want a pet? No. Would you give a chunk of your income away to a known criminal and possibly risk not having enough food in the fridge or clothes on your children’s backs? No.

Very simply said: the potential risks far out way any plausible benefits you’d gain by bringing in a disruptive element to your family. Stay single and focus on your kid(s).

[RoyDalParticipant]

There is a very good reason for all those fairy tales about evil stepmothers. Do not bring an evil stepmother into your children’s lives.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[GrumpyParticipant]

I think I am somewhat qualified to speak on this subject.

Just a backgrounder. I am a sole custodial father, I have had custody of my daughter since she was 18 months old, she will be 18 years old soon. My chosen profession made this a tad challenging at times, until i retired (fairly young age). I have been involved with several women, since I divorced her mother. I have refused to be in any type of serious relationship for the last 5 years, my last LTR pushed me over the edge with relationship BS.

Without fail, each and every woman I had experienced an intimate relationship with, regarding my child fell into 1 of 3 of the following scenarios:

1. F~~~ buddy (women with kids and without kids),they wanted nothing other than a drug and disease free partner to f~~~ when they wanted to. No strings/promises/expectations attached. these women were awesome (honestly), no real attachments between my child and them, or between myself and them or their kids if they had any.

2. Blended family mother, the start of things going bad. These women insinuated themselves into a familial situation with my daughter and I. Within a short time frame tried to assert their position as the mother figure/dominate female and began a systematic program of forced family integration. It was a lot worse if she had children of her own. Usually they tried to divide and conquer using Parental Alienation techniques. If the woman manages to get your kids to side with her, you are seriously f~~~ed and so is your kid.

3. Black widow (aka evil step mother) . These ones were a bit smarter and hid their intent extremely well. They gain the confidence of your child/children and attempt to turn them against you. If they fail that, they create situations that WILL cause extreme duress in all inter personal relationships involved in that “family”environment. The whole goal is to separate you from your child, any other child involved, and any and all support you have available. They ensure that you are identified as the “ENEMY”/antagonist/perpetrator of any and all wrong doing in that relationship. Once they feel they have achieved that, they then remove all resources from you, and chuck you away like garbage. BTW this is all your fault in their mind and statements, and the kids will back her up on it.

The last LTR I was in was insane. It took about a year of her secretly manipulation everything, before she and her kids went bat s~~~ crazy and started an all out assault on my daughter and I. It almost cost me my daughter literally (she was verging on suicidal).  It did however cost me almost 350k and 5 years of sacrifice to rebuilt from that experience.

Re-read what I just posted. Would you seriously consider anything outside of scenario 1 or being alone? anything else is like playing Russian Roulette with an automatic pistol. Having said that,  I would emphatically say “no f~~~ing way Fred”!!! However, do as you wish just don’t come crying to me after I warned you about the perils….

 

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[BiG_WeaselParticipant 116]

I’m nearly 40, and I live with my girlfriend.  We both have teenagers (her a son, me a daughter).  Her son lives here, except when he’s at his dad’s, and my daughter lives with my ex-wife.  Its not terrible for me, because I can kinda relate to this kid as we’re both into video games, sci-fi, etc.  Kid does well in school, etc.  But, I can tell you with absolute certainty that I refuse to claim any sort of responsibility for this child’s well-being.  I mean, if its an emergency, yeah- but I’m not helping with homework, picking him up from school, having “the talk” with him- none of that.  I’ve been explicitly clear about that from the get-go, and it’s worked well.

I know that I may be the exception to the rule, but older kids (teenagers and up) tend to be much easier than younger children.  I’ve seen both sides of it.  Also, multiple children is a real pain.  Its preferable to date someone with no kids at all, but let’s be honest here- most MGTOW are post-divorce, post-children guys who leave the same sort of women single and available.  You’re going to have to find one that works for your bulls~~~ tolerance, and do like I did with the whole boundaries thing.  Its an imperfect world, we’re all (both genders) imperfect people.  So, if you wanna date, be prepared to make compromises or stay single.  No other way.

[Anonymous 42]

I never dated a single mother (banged em, but nothing serious) stretch marks and ass pimples together? F~~~ THAT!

[Jack HarperParticipant 2863]

Thanks all, for the insightful replies.  A humorous little nugget emerged the other day while the site was down.

A couple years ago soon after my divorce saga began my mom wanted to introduce me to a friend of hers daughter who was ten years younger and a single mother.  My mom called her ‘beautiful’ and very different from my ex-wife.  So I agreed to meet her and had dinner with this girl and did not find her attractive at all, she brought her baby to dinner, and basically she was like a personification of negative stereotypes of single mothers.  After dinner I said goodbye and she hugged me and said she understood what I was going through and if I ever needed to talk just give her a call and gave me her phone number (which I promptly threw away).  My mother asked how it went and I said I didn’t find her attractive and wasn’t interested.  Anyway, fast forward and on Monday my mother found out through the grape vine that this single mother had gotten into drugs and was now stealing stuff all over town and had lost custody of her two children to their respective fathers.  I laughed and said I wasn’t surprised.

So I dodged a bullet there.  Man, after my emotionally and financially devastating divorce imagine if I had actually gotten into  a relationship with a girl like that.

[Author]

Posts