S~~~ tests

[HammerdownParticipant 528]

In my introduction topic (still reeling from the warm welcome a month later, guys. Really) Keymaster said he was brainstorming a bit on s~~~ tests and asked us to share. Here’s one of mine. What s~~~ tests have you come across?

I went on a date with a girl, who straight up asked me what kind of car I drive. At the time, I didn’t; I only had a learner’s permit. (Before anyone laughs, I didn’t feel I was emotionally mature enough to be behind the wheel of two tons of motorized metal. Since then I have since gotten my full licence and bought a car with my own money and even have training operating trucks and heavy equipment. Funny what you can do when you put your mind to it, eh?) I told her I didn’t drive and she looked at me like a chestburster from Alien just exploded out of my stomach.

Her: You don’t drive?

Me: No. I’m not that good a driver, and I was in a bad car accident when I was a kid (I showed her the prominent scar I still have from it), and I have a bit of apprehension about it, especially in this city (Vancouver drivers are notoriously bad). Besides, this city is incredibly well connected by public transit. As well, insurance costs for someone my age are astronomical in this province. I’d rather save the money.
At that point she gave me what I call the quintessential woman response to rational or original thought:

“Oh…”

A trailing off “oh…”, essentially just audible confirmation she was still alive. I asked what she drives and she showed me: an old beat up Ford Tempo. The inside was filthy and full of plastic bags and various other stuff. She made a few more comments about me not driving, as if her rust bucket made her superior to me. Didn’t know how to change a tire, drive standard or check fluid levels (things I learned how to do by myself over the years) and didn’t ACTUALLY KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A 4 CYLINDER AND 6 CYLINDER ENGINE. The clue is in the name, genius.

At one point she said that me not driving means I was less “independent” and couldn’t get around as easier. Telling her that I knew how to get anywhere in the lower mainland due to my knowledge of the transit web, and the fact that I had taken multiple trips to Britain and the States that I paid for myself by saving money (helped by not having to pay astronomical insurance costs) and working hard warranted another “Oh…”

How’s that for a s~~~ test?

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Great topic, Hammer. Thanks for starting it. More later because I have to bolt, but I hope you don’t mind, I just adjusted your formatting to removed all those strange HTML characters. When you are composing a post, use the TEXT(editor) tab instead of the VISUAL (editor) on the right of the input area. Then it will appear more “plain”. Pasting something in the VISUAL editor can create unexpected results and preserves all those < tags >. Cheers.

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…. but let me start by adding… EVERYTHING woman do is a “s~~~ test”.
Even this video about s~~~ tests is a s~~~ test. And we have written an entire piece on this bitch:

http://video.glamour.com/watch/the-single-life-things-girls-say-to-test-men

Want to see what happens when women “s~~~ test”?
Here is exactly the same stupid bitch who speaks like an authority on behalf of ALL of them:

•••••

S~~~ testing turns women in to massive failures and she is in NO position to be dishing out “advice” to men. S~~~ testing guarantees dateless women will go out with OTHER single dateless women who resort to drinking and dancing with each other. Those “fabulous” girls you see out on a Friday night are all living with their cats eating ice cream on the floor next to the trash can and picking off cookie crumbs from her t~~~. How women in their 20s cultivate the disasters in their own personal lives.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[HammerdownParticipant 528]

Shoot, didn’t even notice those. Thanks!

[TYEParticipant 291]

Great post unfortunately I don’t have an experience to share considering how early in my life I discovered the MGTOW movement, and this has lead to me not having the same experiences as other men so all I can do is observe !  I can say that my mother has S~~~ tested multiple potential boy friends, and one of them was telling them shes pregnant to test their reaction, if they would ask her to marry them etc. I over heard her on the phone bragging to one of her co-workers about it…she is honestly who to thank for me becoming MGTOW years of seeing her S~~~ testing, and playing with mens emotions is what led to this. She even asked a man what car he owned, and after he told her he owned a Porsche she immediately made plans to fly out to where he lived, even though she had previously told her friend she wasn’t into the guy. After he wrecked the car, and was out of a ton of money to fix it causing him not to be able to take her out on expensive dates she bolted !!! I don’t think women realize that men listen, because the media has made it seem like we don’t I process everything they do, and I compare experiences to see if other women do those things… which of course they do.

[YuriParticipant 185]

My s~~~ test is one i picked up over the years and from reading a few posts on this very forum.

The test being one of interest, in that i do not care about a woman, about chasing her, about approaching her. She has to be one to do it. I have no interest, time or even the nerves to “chase” a woman and try to climb to her f~~~ing mountain peak.  Either a woman lays eyes on me and right away her body temperature rises, her orifices start to leak fluids, she starts to bite her lips and play with her hair as she stares me down, giving me the most obvious signs of burning interest…. or not and not.

If she just sits on her ass, looking at her iPhone, waiting for me to woo her, talk to her, go trough her little tests and hold her short attention span, then she can keep sititng on that ass and waiting.

Then i also have two basic responses/reactions to certain signs from her. I call these the “Ugh.” moment and the “!” moment.

The “Ugh.” moments include:

Her: “So i just reblogged one of Sarkeesians pos-”

Me: “Ugh.” * walks away*

Her: “I am America-”

Me: “Ugh.”

These glasses: 

And countless other things a woman might say, do or wear that make me go “Ugh.”

The “!” moments, which are moments when a woman actually manages to capture some of my attention and interest i keep for myself.

The right man at the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.

[FlamingManParticipant 9]

One of the worst s~~~ test I can remember that happened to me was when I had a date with a girl at a museum. First we had a drink together at a cafe and then we went together to this art museum. The museum consisted of different rooms with all kinds of paintings and sculptures. Normally you watch all paintings in one room and than move to the next, all the stations were even numbered so that you don’t miss anything. You do this in a normal tempo given by an audio guide, unless there is something really interesting where you wait longer. This girl used to go back to previos or even random rooms without telling/ asking me, acting like she was interested in those pictures. Of course it was just a s~~~ test to let me stand there like a chump waiting for here. The pictures she looked back weren’t even interesting and she would stay there for almost half an hour, just to see if I will go back to her and ‘let her win’.

Another one which p~~~es me of when I think about it was when I approached two tourist girls at a nightclub. After speaking to them for a couple of minutes they told me to ask the club staff what the password for the wifi connection is, because they would need it (WTF?!!). They do this in a manipulative way and frame it like you can be the gentleman and help them out. If you do so I will guarantee you that while you go asking the staff they will flirt in the meantime with some alpha.

Whenever they ask you to hold their purse or jacket for you it’s a s~~~ test. There are countless examples and many of them might appear plausible… but girls don’t do this to guys they are attracted to.

[MobycoParticipant 39]

My s~~~ test was for a cheating wife. On her birthday I went to the florist and sent some flowers with strict instructions. No name on the card and if she calls you to ask who sent them tell her it was nice looking  man. Then call me and let me know she was in search of the sender. I , gave them my cell number and tossed an extra 20 bucks guess what??  Yupp Cupcake failed miserably. I got a call from them instead of cupcake.. It screams cheater if you’ve been married for twenty years and she calls the florist instead of you to say thank you. Simple effective .

[KeymasterKeymaster]

I remember a really good one.

I’m making dinner. I’ve always been a far better cook than ANY woman I ever met. One of them actually thought “separate the eggs” on a recipe card meant pushing them apart on the counter(!). Anyway…. an ex-GF comes home and I am PRETTY sure this didn’t actually happen anywhere but in her imagination:

  “Some guy in a black limo pulled up to me and asked me if I have a boyfriend.”

  “oh yeah? What then?”

  “I told him yeah. But then he pushed and asked me if I was happy….”

  “Oh REALLY! And what did you tell him?”

  “Well of course I’m happy.”

  “Maybe he could have made your happy-ER. Did you think about that?”

  “Uh… yeah… I mean no…. well maybe a little…. “.

( now she’s sweating through her blouse because it’s not working.)

  “… he…. he actually said “I can make you happy”.”

  “So why didn’t you get in? … because you know if you’re ever not happy, the door is right there.”

  “OMG are you serious?”

  “Of course. I’m not holding you prisoner.”

  “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

  “Then you shouldn’t have mentioned it. Do you want steak sauce or BBQ sauce…..”

Ho f~~~ it was beautiful. Sex and the City was her favorite show and I KNOW she had Mr.Big Fantasies.The girl would orgasm at the sight of shoes. Wouldn’t be surprised if she purely imagined it. Either way it was a s~~~ test. She wasn’t hot enough for rich guys in limos to pull over and offer her complete happiness, but even if it were true, I passed with flying colors.

It was my favorite s~~~ test of all time.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[HammerdownParticipant 528]

Here’s another story. I’m not sure if it’s a s~~~ test, but anyway.

A while ago,  before I was a card-carrying MGTOW but still acting like it, I went on a date with a girl. This was Vancouver, where they’re notoriously frigid. I show up being bubbly and smiling, but her face was dull and unemotive, like she was dragged out against her will. Yeah, it’s not like I asked “Do you fancy a drink sometime?” and she said “Sure, that could be fun!” Anyway, the waiter takes our orders. She orders some fruity girly concoction, and I see they have Hoegaarden, easily one of my top 5 favourite beers, and order it. Soon after, this happens.

Her: “What was that you ordered?”
Me: “A hoegaarden.”
Her: “I’ve never heard of that.”
Me: “Oh, it’s my favourite. It’s this Belgian wheat beer that-”
Her: (cutting me off) “OMG, ew, beer?”
Me: “Uh, more of a wine drinker I take it?”
Her: “Beer is such an unclassy drink. You’d actually order that out on a date with someone?”

I looked at her like she was retarded. When she got up for the bathroom I downed my delicious Hoegaarden, and left. Left her to pick up the tab 😉

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Beer is such an unclassy drink

BBBBBBBUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRP. What??

That’s exactly when I would give her my Foster Brooks imitation:

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Then she would laugh her head off and I would tell her to go fist herself.

The End.

Man +1. Woman 0.

Woman don’t know a goddam thing about “class”. Have you seen their f~~~ing bathrooms?

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[HammerdownParticipant 528]

I guess she didn’t bother considering the almost art-like dedication and craftsmanship put into making beer, especially beer of that type. Not like her pretty little fruit drink made with s~~~ty well liquor and syrup.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Of course she wouldn’t. But it says everything about her right off the bat. No point in putting any effort into her either. She just sits back with her arms folded and says “that’s not romantic”… or “that’s not classy”….. and she expects you to change and fix it to make it good enough for her worthless stamp of approval.

You did the right thing buddy. Would buy you a beer myself. Well played.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[RyanJamesParticipant 20]

my answer to that would be “whatever the Uber driver turns up in… do people still drive themselves nowadays?”

[Total LeeParticipant 1573]

I used to hate s~~~ tests but now I like them, because I can make women cry on sight. I overheard a woman complain about men while she was eating. I leaned in and said “put down the fork, honey, and men will be nicer to you”. BOOM! Roasted.

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