*I will greatly condense writing in order for this not to turn into a book. There are a lot of details that I will leave out but I will only include details that I personally think are most important for now unless you ask otherwise. Thanks for your time.*
I’m 27. She was a month younger than me. We met in college 6 years ago. Our relationship lasted 4.5 years. The first two years were good. Can’t say too much about the rest. After the two-year honeymoon phase, things went sour.
During a random day, I remember going to work, and she called me and asked me “What are we going to do? What do you have planned for me?” We all should know what this means.
This became our very first argument. I responded by saying I’m not ready. Neither of us were. Of course, in the end she didn’t care.
From this point on, we took a turn for the worst. The morale we had went from “great” to “meh” to “s~~~” really fast. There were many arguments, lies, secrets, social media bulls~~~, family pressure, pressure from her friends, religious pressure and a myriad of other things that smacked me in the face all at once. This was around the time where I started to notice there was something very wrong here. To be honest, I had no choice but to notice the changes.
I consider myself an attentive person, someone who recognizes patterns and pays attention to detail. This awareness spans from tone of voice, to body language, to patterns with relationships and women in general. It was a good thing for me even though it was painful, but a bad thing for her. She needed someone a little less informed than me to coerce into full blown provider mode.
As time went on my mental health was plummeting. My personality was changing, my sleep patterns were effected, I was way less light hearted than I usually am. I couldn’t say I was as happy, and yet I didn’t walk away. I had so many clues to walk away so many times. I stayed anyway. Things got so crazy in my mind, that I snapped on her. I couldn’t hold all the bulls~~~ in. I got tired of it all. My emotions overwhelmed me, but they still didn’t make me stupid enough to make ill-advised decisions.
So how did we end? A day after we hung out, I didn’t hear from her. The next day she called me while I was at work to have the “talk”. She made one last push to make me her provider. She failed again. I stood my ground. I saw too many red flags. Then she said “Then I have some things to think about.”
An argument ignited again and the phone call dropped. She called back. I didn’t answer. She later used this to ghost me saying she needed space. She said many things to shame me and put me down stating that her reasoning for doing so dated back to the first time we had “the talk”. She used this to take away all accountability from herself. I never expected her to say certain things but that showed me how much she wanted her rewards and how unimportant and disposable I was to even contemplate leaving. She made me question “love” itself. Got out with no kids and no wife, and didn’t even move in with her. I knew better from observing others. No crazy horror story here, but it was enough for me to reach my limit of bulls~~~ after I thought I had something real.
After 3 days of “space”, I decided to tell her to delete all of my contact information. She refused. She contacted me for a little while afterwards, to no avail, and she finally gave up. I did make mistakes of course. My biggest one was staying too long for “the sake of the relationship” and thinking that she would “go back to what she used to be”. I learned differently.
How did I find this place? Googled “Marriage Ultimatum”-> Found a relationship forum on Reddit (such s~~~ty advice but very eye opening) -> Found Red Pill->Then I ended up here.
So many dots connected from looking around places like this. I saw the truth in it, but it also brought me down a little. Briffaults Law, AWALT, the Wall, all of it freed me and it destroyed whatever I thought I knew. Honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Bring on the pain, I’d rather not be fooled.
As far as MGTOW goes, I’ve noticed some of the ridicule you guys were getting, even from some “red pill” guys by using the same shaming language women use. I had to come and see for myself and I’m glad I did.
I’m looking forward to sharing ideas and experiences with you guys. The knowledge you guys carry is invaluable to me. Godspeed on your journeys.
Anonymous 3 years ago.
