Shaming

[Two Time WinnerParticipant 1090]

My soon to be ex-wife has sought to control my behavior for all of the 23 years of our marriage. She has used criticism and shaming as her primary methods I’ve been seeing a therapist since last October. He has helped a lot in identifying her personality as primarily narcissist. Our life together has been all about her. I really didn’t understand the shaming technique until recently.

It is defined as:
“Shaming is a technique used by abusive people to divert attention away from their own behavior and issues by putting pressure on a victim so they can maintain control. The victim is put into an impossible situation, where they feel they are inherently flawed and so can never measure up to the standards being imposed on them, and therefore must dedicate themselves to attempting to make up for their ‘badness’.”

She tried it again this morning after my attorney sent a letter to her attorney threatening to postpone our mediation due to her not supplying up to date information about her retirement accounts. Now that I understand what she is doing and why I just walked out of the room. Reading MGTOW posts for a few months has changed my attitude. Treat me with respect or I don’t participate in the conversation. When shaming didn’t work she moved to making threats about dispositions etc. Again MGTOW and the NFG attitude allowed me to tell her to do what she wanted and I would deal with it.

TTW

I ain't got a wife to spend my money, I have to do that all by myself.

[Anonymous 13]

Shaming is one of their nastiest traits.

I had a gut full of that s~~~ too.

Never again.

[Anonymous 14]

It is interesting how shaming is also a political strategy used mostly by the Left… Some on the Right use it to silence opinions about things the don’t like hearing about as well at times though. As far as I can tell Mothers are the 1st place winners in this arena overall with women/girlfriends/wives easily locking down 2nd place.

[MGTOW KnightParticipant 7477]

Anonymous wrote:

As far as I can tell Mothers are the 1st place winners in this arena overall with women/girlfriends/wives easily locking down 2nd place.

Yeah with feminist and cuck boy leftist taking the 3rd position for sure!

Fuck bitches... literally and metaphorically

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

Two Time Winner wrote:

. I really didn’t understand the shaming technique until recently.

Victims of constant shaming are commonly unaware of it! Each time it takes a tiny chunk out of you, slowly breaking you down unknowingly.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[joetechParticipant]

It only works if you let it. When it doesn’t phase you, the next step the shamer moves to is full blown rage. It’s actually pretty funny to watch the transformation. Then come the tears and the drama.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

joetech wrote:

It’s actually pretty funny to watch the transformation

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[Anonymous 13]

MGTOW_Mike wrote:

Two Time Winner wrote:

. I really didn’t understand the shaming technique until recently.

Victims of constant shaming are commonly unaware of it! Each time it takes a tiny chunk out of you, slowly breaking you down unknowingly.

I was really quite miserable for more than the last 5 years or so of that sham of a marriage.

I put it down to my age and just a lack of enthusiasm for life in general.

I was sort of jaded.

Or so I thought.

Lately though, my inner peace and contentment, plus my enthusiasm and ENERGY to get back into my hobbies etc has gone off the charts.

I feel like I’m 25 again. Folk have remarked I either look younger or happier.

It was all that bitch, wearing me down.

SHAMING me, trash talking me to the hive.

Making me feel like s~~~ over many years.

NOW I remember who I once was.

And I like it.

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

Anonymous wrote:

Lately though, my inner peace and contentment, plus my enthusiasm to get back into my hobbies etc has gone off the charts.

F~~~ YEAH…..I live and breathe my passion every day!

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

Treat me with respect or I don’t participate in the conversation.

Bingo. Just walk away…done. And you have to nip it in the bud. With these kind of c~~~s you cannot give them a millimeter or they will take a mile. The SECOND they try their crazy shaming bulls~~~. Boundaries have to be firm, clear and very obvious. Even then, they will often try to overcome them. They are insane monsters. Anyone who doubts it has never lived with one (cluster B personality disorder).

My 3rd ex-wife is borderline and my mother histrionic. I feel for any man in this situation. Over any significant period of time with these it will cause serious emotional and mental distress. Forty eight hours with my mother is my absolute max. Even then I need to make sure I exercise, rest, eat well and get out in nature to de-stress from the situation.

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Shaming: this is why it is essential to make the cohabitation period after a couple break-up as short as possible. My ex went into full-blown shaming and reckless spending mode after the couple ended and I was still in cohabitation with her. After a couple of months of that, it starts to drive you mad. But for her, well, she has every intention of delivering divorce papers to you anyhow. So she’s there just milking you for all you’re worth, ‘punishing you’, and watching you as you are writhing while you are disoriented thinking about your future, the kids, etc. Only after sometimes, do you think back and see the cruelty of it all.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Anonymous 13]

The difference between blue and red pill over shaming.

When blue, I took it for YEARS.

Letting it gradually wear me down, until I was depressed, thought little of myself and believed I must be at fault to be constantly put down.

After the red pill.

I’d instantly recognise ANY kind of shaming, no matter how innocuous it may seem.

And I’d simply say f~~~ you c~~~, and walk out forever.

ZERO TOLERANCE.

AND NO F~~~S GIVEN.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

I know how it is to feel like she is the most perfect being on the planet and you are the worst piece of s~~~ that ever walked this planet.

And you feel obligated to serve, to a point where she sais im thirty 3 times and you gotta go to look for water for her while she stay on her sofa.

Ohhh And the water must be perfect, not too cold just fresh.

GOOD I HATE MY SELFT.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[narwhalParticipant]

Just two things to say…

First, that panda gif is awesome.

Second, shaming is just a tool. Neither good or bad.

If your intent is to improve the life of someone or protect yourself or someone else, then go for it. Throwing shame at a s~~~ty mother in hopes that she will stop treating her kids poorly is noble. Shaming women who divorce perfect good men is noble.

It’s only evil when it’s used to justify s~~~ty behavior or to psychologically damage someone who isn’t guilty of s~~~ty behavior. Examples provided above.

Ok. Then do it.

[UntamedParticipant]

Shaming only works if you give a f~~~.
No f~~~ given no shame received.

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[Greg HondaParticipant 6406]

MGTOW_Mike wrote:

Two Time Winner wrote:

. I really didn’t understand the shaming technique until recently.

Victims of constant shaming are commonly unaware of it! Each time it takes a tiny chunk out of you, slowly breaking you down unknowingly.

This happened to me over the course of many years. I was convinced I was ugly and worthless and glad to be with the woman who put me down. Years later I looked back at photos of me at that time. I was a f~~~in’ 8-9 on the SMV scale and she was at best a 3. I just didn’t see it.

I was beat down and brain washed.

Can’t get those years back. It sucks.

It's Time to get Wise

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Greg I know men, I know, after the drug wears off, you look at her and say… f~~~ dude this bitch is ugly.
Good damn it.
😂😂😂😂

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[UntamedParticipant]

Greg Honda wrote:

MGTOW_Mike wrote:

Two Time Winner wrote:

. I really didn’t understand the shaming technique until recently.

Victims of constant shaming are commonly unaware of it! Each time it takes a tiny chunk out of you, slowly breaking you down unknowingly.

This happened to me over the course of many years. I was convinced I was ugly and worthless and glad to be with the woman who put me down. Years later I looked back at photos of me at that time. I was a f~~~in’ 8-9 on the SMV scale and she was at best a 3. I just didn’t see it.

I was beat down and brain washed.

Can’t get those years back. It sucks.

Many weemins HATE us handsome guys and will go out of their way to shame, belittle and hurt us because they either couldn’t hook up with a decent-looking guy or they were dumped by one.
Even today at 47 I get ogled by weemins who think they have a chance at this stud and I get plenty of evil eyes on me as well because “Single” is written all over me and they know nothing of what I got benefits them or any other hoe.
We handsome guys are hated on not only by hateful weemins but by jealous men as well and not only menginas.
Plenty of those experiences over here.

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[No Ma’amParticipant 212]

I am convinced my soon-to-be ex is a narcissist. I didn’t know a f~~~ing thing about narcism. I was ill-equipped to recognize the big red warning flags early in the relationship. I never made the connection until just before the breakup. I was listening to Paul Elam talking about borderline personality disorder. When he said people with BPD and other cluster B disorders can’t apologize because they have no empathy for others. It hit me like a thunderbolt. Holy S~~~! That bitch never apologized to me for anything.

I started researching this stuff. I read about covert narcism. It was all there, constant need for attention, the manipulation, no respect for boundries, lack of empathy for others, the shaming, the gas lighting and the constant complaining. I saw it not only in her behavior towards me. I also saw it in her behavior towards members of her family.

The wasted years, life’s energy and money are bad enough. The worst effect and is the damage to your psyche. Covert narcissists f~~~ with your head. They make you believe that you’re the one who is damaged. They can’t face their own painful reality. Deep down inside they are hollow and can’t feel empathy for others. They go through life hiding behind a mask of normalcy. They may learn enough social skills to fake it for a while. When the mask slips, which is inevitable in any intimate long-term relationship, they deflect their inner shame by projecting it on us. Before long, they have you doubting your own self-worth.

Here’s the thing guys. You may find yourself wondering, “Am I the narcissist”? If you seriously ask yourself that question, you are not the narcissist. She is. Narcissists are not capable of deep introspection. They are not self-aware. To them, all their problems are someone else’s fault. Always.

Narcissists choose people who are empathic and compliant. They are the psychological equivalent of a hungry coyote tearing apart a newborn fawn. No guilt. No remorse. They satiate their hunger. Then, they move on to the next victim.

You’ve been warned.

"Nobody loves me, but my mother, And she could be jivin` too." - B. B. King

[UniquecornParticipant 48]

Anonymous wrote:

MGTOW_Mike wrote:

Two Time Winner wrote:

. I really didn’t understand the shaming technique until recently.

Victims of constant shaming are commonly unaware of it! Each time it takes a tiny chunk out of you, slowly breaking you down unknowingly.

I was really quite miserable for more than the last 5 years or so of that sham of a marriage.

I put it down to my age and just a lack of enthusiasm for life in general.

I was sort of jaded.

Or so I thought.

Lately though, my inner peace and contentment, plus my enthusiasm and ENERGY to get back into my hobbies etc has gone off the charts.

I feel like I’m 25 again. Folk have remarked I either look younger or happier.

It was all that bitch, wearing me down.

SHAMING me, trash talking me to the hive.

Making me feel like s~~~ over many years.

NOW I remember who I once was.

And I like it.

Be the best version of you that you can possibly be!

I found these 2 books helped in understanding the transformation back to self –

“The Slight Edge” by Jeff Olsen.

“The Power of your Subconscious mind” by Joseph Murphy.

[Author]

Posts