Seriously scared

[Sparticus66Participant 508]

Hi guys,
Needing some support at the moment.
I’m a lawyer that had to leave the matrimonial home and leave my boys behind. I hardly get to see them and the irony is I can’t afford a family lawyer and it’s not my area of law. I don’t drink or do drugs and there is no DV. I’m paying for everything and all I seem to do is work, home and eat. I’m going to the gym and in good physical shape. I don’t feel suicidal but wishing I had never existed if that makes sense. Feeling really f~~~ing scared that it’s going to be like this forever now

[Soldier-MedicParticipant 2566]

I’m a divorced father of 3 sons. Got a divorce after my last deployment in 2008. Came home, filed for divorce, bought my own house and moved on.

Get in there and insist (negotiate) on joint custody. Then set about doing everything you can to be a good father that is on time and there for his kids when they need you.

My oldest is in college and can’t stand his own mother. – Win.

My 13 year old came to me and asked that I file for full custody. – Win

My 11 year old is still treated like a special snow flake by his mother. She has always treated him this way and never go along with the other boys. I believe this is why she is consistently and constantly blowing sunshine up his ass. The damndest thing about is that I am the one that taught him to do his laundry, tie his shoes, clean his room, wash dishes, clean his bathroom, etc. She is still doing most of this for him. I’m still going to win though. Boys have a desire to grow up to become men.

Don’t quit. The split second you do, she wins.

"I asked you a question. I didn't ask you to repeat what the voices in you head are telling you" ~ Me. ........Yes I'm still angry.

[Anonymous 54]

This too shal pass.One of the tricks that depression plays on you, is makeing you think it will be like this forever.Do not accept this false belief!

[OgreParticipant 5863]

If she’s still being remotely reasonable you might suggest downsizing lifestyles now. I’m assuming that your home is your biggest expense. After the divorce she will lose it if she doesn’t accept your proposal to help her get set up for her new lifestyle.

The reason that I am making that assumption is because it sounds like money is one of the problems with the way you stated your work/life balance. She is used to having access to a much higher portion than the courts will likely grant her. Unless she has fresh job skills if she’s returning to work post-divorce, or she gets a raise at her current job she will have worse problems down the road. I only mention it because one of your concerns is your kids.

By using whatever equity you currently have as a down payment you would accomplish several things. You can get your kids set in their new environment, you can (try to) get her to realize that her shared failure in the marriage is going to have consequences, and anything left after the sale and down payment can be used to kill debt and get your legal team set up. Hopefully the equity scenario I laid out applies. If not, you both would still benefit by making the changes now to increase cashflow available.

When you are underwater in a relationship and financially it can seem like you’ll never make it to your next breath. Good luck, you’ve got 18K brothers here when things get tough.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[Sparticus66Participant 508]

That’s great advice. Thanks for your encouraging words

[Sparticus66Participant 508]

Thank you. Yes I must try to keep it in this day

[Anonymous 42]

Sparticus66 wrote:

I don’t feel suicidal but wishing I had never existed if that makes sense.

This thoroughly molested society makes a man feel that way. Makes a man feel like saying “I wasn’t asked to be born and if I was it sure a f~~~ wouldn’t be a place like this!)

If there’s any truth to “on earth as it is in heaven” then heaven must be in shambles also from that broken family where Satan and his angles tore up the place and left!

[VanXingParticipant 98]

Hang in there man. Im in the same boat except I insisted on not moving out. She moved out against my wishes. Now I have a giant house to myself and a real money pit. This time is when friends and family will really help just to talk through things. Message me any time and we can swap notes.

[Sparticus66Participant 508]

Thank you. Yes I must stay in contact with my male friends

[PistolPeteParticipant 27143]

From one attorney to another, you’ll be a lot happier when you ditch the suit and tie hang up the briefcase and take up something you really love. I practice working for the VA and the DoD for many years and didn’t realize just how much I hated it until I quit. This also has the happy side effect of making yourself unappealing to women. women only love what YOU can provide for them thus as a lawyer all they see are $$$ signs. Once you trim back your living standard they will ignore you completely…and that is a good thing.

[joetechParticipant]

Just think of it as a kidney stone you’re about to pass. Sure it’s probably a 120 pound kidney stone, but just think of how good it’s going to feel to get rid of it!

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[Old RottweilerParticipant 1520]

My ex made my life rough for 14 years. That ended 10 years ago, it goes by quick.

My life is unbelievably good now.

[OldBillParticipant]

It doesn’t matter whether you can afford a lawyer or not, you need a lawyer. Find one who will work with you on payments, sell stuff, do whatever needs to be done, but get a lawyer now. As you’ll read below, it’s fairly obvious that she was consulting with a lawyer well before she served you.

Next, go to this site – http://www.realworlddivorce.com/ – and read all the information there. Pay particular attention to your state.

You’re not going to be able to talk your wife into cutting any expenses. She won’t cut them because she’s purposely inflating them. It’s a well known divorce tactic and one your brethren in family law routinely advise their female clients to do.

Finally, you need to keep the endgame firmly in mind. The divorce process will not last forever. Your personal situation will not last forever. Once this c~~~ is out of your life, your life will only get better. Keep that goal in mind. Do whatever is necessary to speed the day that she signs the final decree.

You can do this. Millions of men before you have done it and you can do it too.

Be strong, brother. Your freedom is waiting for you in the future.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[CombatRollParticipant 2594]

You are in a dark place right now. These guys have given you some great advice. Choose to be happy and make the best of this s~~~ty situation.

I know exactly how you feel about wishing you did not exist. I’m in the same dark place as you mentally right now.

We have to keep our chins up and keep slogging forward.

Do you have a support person? You need someone in your corner. If you are like me, you are hesitant to reach out, but try.

Post here often and keep us updated.

Be strong and good luck!

[foghornleghornParticipant 3449]

One thing you need to realize is this – this time in your life is but a small part of it. You do not know what your future has in store for you. It seems like s~~~ now but rarely is a person’s life filled with dark clouds, the sun will shine again.

[AttonParticipant]

Move to Europe

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[Author]

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