Saudations, there's a damn long introduction here for you to read

[RafaelParticipant 115]

Saudations everyone. I am from Brazil and English is not my native language, although I speak it for a couple of years now, it’s not one hundred percent yet. If you see any weird sentence, that’s why. I’ve been reading the stories and wandering the forums for a week now, watching the dynamics of the forum and waiting my quarantine time to start participating.
First, I want to congratulate the founders and developers of MGTOW.com, you’ve done a great job on this corner of the internet. It’s truly amazing how so many good people gathered to form this community. I know I will learn a lot from all of you.
I have 24 years old and live in the south region of Brazil with my father, who is kind of a MGTOW guy too, he went monk after facing the worst side of marriage(if there’s any good one) and other women. I’m not married and don’t have children. I can’t say I am a 100% red pilled guy, there is some information I need to analyze and think about, but after I took the first dose some time ago, I will not cease until I empty the bottle. I have always preferred the painful truth than the pleasant lie. The truth is addictive. I’ll start from the very beginning so you can understand some things.
I grew up in the middle of fights of my parents, my mother never gave too much f~~~s about me, and she never was a mother, in the common sense of the word, to me, I never liked her. My mother was a selfish, reckless and rude person, always yelled at me and my father for little things. Since I remember, I was very explosive with people who done something I didn’t like, but I was very docile most of the time, quiet and introvert, had good grades at school, until the divorce of my parents. Although my father taught me many things, I kind of raised myself, I did not have any emotional support from any of them, care or visible love, so that reflected later on my relations with people. When they divorced, I had 12 years, we had a house which my father built from the foundations along a couple of years, but a solid roof over the head and food over the table is never enough for any women right, then they were about to part away, and I was in the middle. At the beginning, neither of them wanted to have my custody, so my father, who was the one who loved me more, stepped forward and at the same time I needed to choose, and I choose him. But, she wanted half of the goods, there were when all began.
After I heard she was going to take half of everything, I gone mad with that, really mad, I was boiling and wanted to hit her with a chair, I remember going to see her and say “You never put a dime into this house, now you want half of everything and leave both of us in poor conditions? I’m telling you, if you do that I’ll kill you”. She gave up from half of the goods, and they made a deal, so she didn’t needed to pay the alimony. She attempted to approach me a couple of times buying me things when I was younger, but it was the same thing, yelling at me, and charging me to love her, never happened. About four years ago I gave her the last chance, but she preferred to please her boyfriend by not seeing me, because he was jealous of me and my father. Basically, she picked a random asshole over a son. If a mother can do this kind of thing to a son, imagine what a woman who doesn’t have the same blood as you, will do to you. We never talked anymore and I completely excluded her of my life, for good.
After the divorce, I was even more broken, so the mad kid phase started, my grades dropped, I missed most of the classes for two years, repeated those years at school because of that. The discussion with teachers and physical fight with other kids in school and neighborhood was very frequent, I always had problems with people trying to be authoritarian over me. Beside people trying to do bad things to me, I was a very educated kid. I remember one day, there was a kid who always mocked me, and one day we started to discuss in the classroom after he tried to mock me in front of the teacher and the whole class, he was playing with a scissor and almost sticked the damn thing in my eye, the teacher didn’t do anything. So I took the scissor from him, his hand was laying in my table so I sticked the scissor through it. He was crying like a girl, the class was quiet and I was laughing hard. The teacher panicked, there was blood everywhere. I almost got kicked out of school and later that week, his older brother beated the hell out of me. It totally worth. After that day, most people started to fear me, mostly because I was not too friendly to everyone and didn’t smile too much(same thing today). The only thing I regret was the trouble I gave to my father in those years. That time, people for an unknown reason always tried to mess up with me. I feel good knowing that I am far better in life than anyone who humiliated or mocked me.
With 17 I was calm and entered high school, I was always been considered “handsome” in school and high school. In high school the rain of pussy began, my life was flooded and turned into a pussy hell/heaven. At the same time it was very overwhelming not being able to f~~~ all of them, I was in awe. At 17, my plan was to enter the army, but I didn’t because of it. I never gave too much f~~~s about anything, even less about opinions, that’s why even with two of my only three long relations~~~s, I always had plenty of girls to play around. I managed to hide very well from these two girlfriends, they never found out. I was addicted. I knew it was not a manly thing to do, but I ignored my self-respect in order to do it. I felt the pain my mother left being filled up, but it only got worse after a while, I was thought by society that f~~~ many chicks as possible was a good thing for a man. I consider myself lucky, I never crossed with any STD’s and many of the girls were virgins, in their 17-20’s. I know because the thing was very difficult to shove up inside them, and I always needed to wash the bloody red bed clothes after.
I think I didn’t feel bad about it because deep inside I knew they would do something bad to me. I did have three long lasting relations~~~s, counting one that lasted 8 months. I never let any of them move in with me, they’re always gone after mentioning anything about it.
I was very attached to my first girlfriend, and when we broke up after two years, I felt very bad, even with all the other girls at my disposal. Until the end of the relations~~~, we wanted the same things, marry, have children, nice house et cetera. But I was in a very bad period of my life, even having what I “wanted”, I felt empty, and enslaved when I thought about how my life would be if these things become real. And at the same time, my patience with her hit the limit, I was trying to get a job, but none popped up and her always bugging me about it, then one day she denied sex for the first time, I started the conversation and we decided to end the relations~~~. I felt bad for a month maybe, but after that, I was drowning in pussy again and don’t giving a f~~~ about anything, again.
After some months, a real good job opportunity appeared, and I took it, which is my current job today. The pussy rain stopped and I meet the second one, 8 months, I found out later she was kind of a psychopath. After she said she had a fantasy about f~~~ing me and other guys at the same time, I dumped her in the middle of the night, 2am to be more precise. After she said that, in less than 10 minutes I packed all her stuff and she hit the road to walk her 20 km trip home. Two days later, I wake up and she was camped in front of my house, she stayed there for two days, under rain or sun, there she was, crying and yelling my name like a broken parrot. I regret not calling the police. After that, I never saw her again.
12 years with my mother, these two relations~~~s and all the other women I got involved taught me many things about women, the feeling of emptiness started to fade away, along with the will to have a wife and children. I was decided not taking any more BS from them and tolerating living in a hell. About a half year later, my current relationship started. This probably will be the subject for my next topic in this forum, so you will understand why this is all about.
My “indecent” phase is over, until some time ago I blamed myself for that, how could I let that happen to me, I felt manipulated, and this used to angry me. Now my standards are very high, my self-respect surpassed everything else and honor rule my life. I feel almost completely healed from all bad things that happened in my life until my 20’s, I feel more resilient lately, dealing better with work, family and life in general. I owe that by the fact I have improved my way of don’t giving a f~~~ to many things that happens in life. I don’t fit in society, it is corrupted, degenerating at exponential levels, I don’t want to be too much close to it, I will walk away disappearing in the horizon.
Today I have a good job, which allows me pay for my superior education, buy all I need, and things never been better with my father, but there’s a lot to improve yet, so I am working on it. I work in the management sector of an university campus, the only thing I don’t like about it is the fact that I need to sit 8 hours a day in front of a computer, and after all the red pill I’m taking, this slave sensation is bugging me out lately, unfortunately, I need it to finish my graduation, which I will start next year, Psychology(because I will change the actual one, Architecture).
My family basically consists of my father and one aunt, not because there’s no one else, but because I choose to exclude all of them from my life because of their virtues and behaviors. Unfortunately or fortunately, I don’t have friends anymore, the ones I did have one day were all excluded from my life for being traitors and manginas. I wish I had some, but it’s very hard to find anyone decent lately. I have an aversion for people who don’t think from themselves.
I study Architecture now, it’s one of my passions, but I always wanted to study Psychology, so I am about to change it, but I will not leave Architecture, it’s one my many hobbies. With the completion of my superior education, I will figure out what I am going to do next, I have some plans, like being a Forensic Psychologist, entering to the Federal Police or be a specialized psychologist in treating men and boys who suffered abuses, et cetera, which is practically a non-existent area here in Brazil, we all know why.
I like to do many things, some of them I don’t have too much time to spend. I used to draw a lot, I was a good with that back then, I just need to practice again. I play electric/acoustic guitar for about 8 years, and again, need practice because time, and I play mostly rock. I listen to rock/metal since I was a kid, when my father gave me albums from Black Sabbath, Rolling Stones and Creedence Clearwater Revival. My taste in music evolved, today I listen classical music, like Mozart, Bach, Beethoven and Schubert. The last couple of years I’ve been listen a lot of Folk Metal, Black Metal and Atmospheric Black Metal. I read lots of books, my room is full of them, I read a lot since I was a kid, one of my favorite subjects is history. I write, musics and stories, I am currently writing over a dream I had years ago. I speak my native language which is Portuguese, politing my English and starting to learn the language of my ancestors, German. After German, I will learn the basics of Cyrillic, Spanish and Norwegian. I not a kind of guy that go to parties and drink a lot, I don’t go out too much either, don’t like crowds(with exception of rock concerts). I plan to visit some places if have the condition to do it, like Machu Picchu, Japan, Germany, United States, Norway and the list goes on, I believe it is important do it so I can have a more wide view of the world and life. I am passionate about Mustangs, I would rather have a U$ 5.000 old rusty Mustang than a U$ 500.000 Ferrari, or whatever other crap like that, and again, if I have the condition I will try to have one. I have interest in politics, botanic, guns and computers too.
I’ve been experiencing an increased interest in survivalism. I always liked to be in contact with nature, I have a real passion for it, trees, animals et cetera, they are one of the only things worth the effort protecting and fighting for. I am slowly becoming a prepper/bushcrafter, and at some point of my life, live off grid and cultivate my own food and be totally independent of the system, banks and society. I have two german shepperd dogs, who guard my house, and soon maybe I will have a gun.
In the last couple of years I have been studying my forebears, who came from the north of Germany back in the 1800’s. That, lead me to the paganism, which is now becoming my way of living and being. Odinism is putting me in contact with my real self, my ancestors and nature. It’s being one of the best things. Actually, studying that, Mythology et cetera, lead me to the Thulean Perspective Channel, and at some point while searching for some things, lead me to the Paul Elam’s Youtube channel, An Ear for Men. After going after information about MGTOW, I identified myself and found this website, and I immediately made an account. I know there’s a lot more things I didn’t mentioned, but what the hell, I can’t remember all at once. I am pleased to see there’s more people like me out there.
If you have any question or commentary, go ahead.

Don't look back, you're not going that way.

[PistolPeteParticipant 27143]

Great intro! Welcome aboard the reality express!

[ghostParticipant]

Welcome home.

[Anonymous 0]

Welcome home, brother
Beer’s in the fridge

[Anonymous 6]

Paragraphs are our friends!!

Have a beer and sit down. @gambit is cooking tonight.

[ShyGuyParticipant 75]

Your english is fine. Welcome. Thanks for sharing your story.

Look not to the shames of the past, but to the glory of the future.

[Anonymous 5]

Thanks for the intro, it was a terrific read.
From your father’s choice in music, I know I’d get on with him. I’d also throw in some Led Zep and Pink Floyd too.

Isn’t it weird when you’re a dysfunctional, aggressive, destructive person like you were in your youth,,,you’ll be flooded with pussy. You were like a flame to the moths. It’s always the same.

It sounds like you got your Red Pill education very early in life.
Like other’s here, especially Gargamel, you’ve used this in your adult life to avoid the worst pitfalls of the Disney dream.
So many of us here had unremarkable childhoods and didn’t realize what our fathers were going through till it was much too late for us.
Most of our father’s suffered in silence, probably for our sake. I know mine did but I didn’t realize till it was much too late.

Enjoy fulfilling your life with whatever dreams you can muster, except the Disney dream.

A warm welcome to the forums.

[RafaelParticipant 115]

Anonymous wrote:

Paragraphs are our friends!!

I never used BBCode before, I pasted from Word and it seemed fine. But thanks for the tip.

Don't look back, you're not going that way.

[RafaelParticipant 115]

Anonymous wrote:

From your father’s choice in music, I know I’d get on with him. I’d also throw in some Led Zep and Pink Floyd too.

He also likes Led Zeppelin and and specially Pink Floyd. ACDC, Eagles, Johnny Cash and Neil Young are part of the playlist too.

Anonymous wrote:

Isn’t it weird when you’re a dysfunctional, aggressive, destructive person like you were in your youth,,,you’ll be flooded with pussy. You were like a flame to the moths. It’s always the same.

I didn’t realize that until some time ago. Unfortunately, many men can’t discontinue this behavior before it’s too late.

Anonymous wrote:

It sounds like you got your Red Pill education very early in life.
Like other’s here, especially Gargamel, you’ve used this in your adult life to avoid the worst pitfalls of the Disney dream.

As painful as it was, I did know that I needed to learn something and take advantage of that in some way.

Don't look back, you're not going that way.

[Author]

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