Running circles in life

[Russky2Participant 3086]

Dashing Young Dissident wrote:

Hello fellow MGTOWers,

I am creating this new post in hopes of receiving some advice about life, work and personal growth. Will try to make this as short as possible, because some of this info is a bit painful to share.

So basically I have been physically abused during my childhood. Always getting bullied in school (4-5 guys vs myself), and never knew how to fight. After school my dad would beat the s~~~ out of me for not doing well in school. My belief is that physical punishment is extremely detrimental to one’s health and well being. Although I have forgiven everything and everyone, it’s impossible to forget.
Why do I talk about this? Because I think most of my misfortunes reside in the fact that my self confidence has been destroyed, and now I’m pretty much stuck in life with little to no progress.

My family migrated to Canada when I was 17. I barely finished school, although Gr 11 and 12 my marks improved, because no one was really f~~~ing with me. After high school enlisted in in Reserves, but resigned because I injured my knee real bad. After the army thing I went to College for business, but hated it and dropped out. I then went for something that was much more interesting (Biotech) and received associate degree in this field. But the jobs in my area in Biotech field are scarce and competition is fierce for even the basic wages. I learned that most of the Biotech companies would start with basic min wage. After a year of unsuccessful job hunt I gave up looking for work in Biotech, and now work as a security guard.

Even though I make some money, there is a growing concern for my own future. Every day I think of being worthless, useless and now face the real danger of living in poverty in future. The thought of this really scares me, and I have no idea or direction on what to do with my life.

I know most of you would not converse with someone who lives in their mom’s basement, but there is little choice as I cannot afford to live on my own. Have you been in a similar type of situation, and if so how did you get out? What particular actions did you take and what kind of mindset did you have to achieve that?

Another thing I wanted to talk about is the lack proper education and mentors in one’s life. Most of the teachers I had encountered throughout high school would belittle their students for bad performance, while the parents add salt to the wound. I think the society has gotten the wrong idea about education, motivation and raising children. It is unfortunate that so many people have been raised in such conditions, because these memories and experiences stick with them for the rest of life. When someone instills a belief in you, whether good or bad it usually results in that person actually following up on this belief. Right now I am thinking of possibly rewiring my thoughts and beliefs, yet I keep getting back to the negative thinking. For some time I was contemplating going to a shrink, but there is a feeling of mistrust towards health professionals as I can see them only doing their job for the money.

So what should I do brothers? Is it simply a matter of kicking myself in the ass and being more aggressive with the job hunt? Am I being too negative and should start thinking more positive? WTF do I do to get myself out of this misery?

Hey Russky2,

I’m in the exact same boat as you man. Im 32 in a few months and have done security for the last 6 years man. I had a decent engineering job in a cable making factory in 2010 and lost it to the bulls~~~ recession. After that I decided to get a security guard licence (no idea why) and I’ve done everything from working in a mens prison to working at the dole office dealing with angry benefit claimants. I also still work as a bouncer/doorman on the weekends, and it is a dog s~~~ job. I stood outside a bank in one miserable security job for a year, 9 hours a day, just standing there like a t~~~ bored out of my skull. I lost the job after some jumped up little tosser customer gave me verbal abuse for being on my phone, and after a year of doing that soul destroying job and dealing with yuppie, condescending bastards, I finally snapped telling him to get in his car before I dragged him round the back and ended him.

The previous doorman/bouncer security company I worked for some how liquidated due to a dodgy tax issue, so now i work in-house for the bar i used to be contracted to by said company, because the manager there likes me. I utterly loathe the job and every f~~~ wit that patronizes the place.

Working security is one of the lowest paid jobs in the world, not to mention your are treated like a disposable/expendable piece of s~~~ and treated with utter disdain. I recommend you leave this dead end kill-your-self ‘industry’ and reclaim your dignity and pride, like I will eventually once I return to UK, and find a job that will treat you with respect and where you are appreciated.

Theres no garuntees that I wont do some weekend doorman work once i get back, as I have to survive somehow while I stay at my grandmothers. But If I do mange to find out what exactly it is I want to do job wise, I guess i will be stuck doing that inane s~~~.

I too have become a lazy fat f~~~ from doing security. I have a bit of a gut now from all the energy drinks and junk food i stuffed by face with over the years, while doing those soul destroying security jobs. Standing out in all weathers freezing my b~~~~ off or getting scorched by the sun. The trouble with doing security is you are made to feel like ass, some servile slave and become fatigued and lifeless and end up having no enthusiasm for anything, and its the same when you go home. You just can’t be f~~~ed doing anything. It’s a horrid cycle that will never end unless you get out of there. Not to mention the paltry pay. I’m in $20 NZD an hour at this bar job and it goes nowhere. For the normal static guard jobs i was getting minimum wage, and lived like i always did from week to week like a f~~~ing loser.

I still have no idea what the f~~~ im going to do once i get back to the UK. I have no interest in any type of 9-5 job or career. I’m an artist/creative person, so by default, I am already f~~~ed. I want to make films, be in a metal band, and get some of my creative stories published.

I understand we all have to work to ‘pay the bills’ blah blah blah, but f~~~…i had no idea id end up like this in my 30s. My generation was f~~~ing robbed anyway, lied to, bulls~~~ted etc etc.

Anyway man, i hope it works out for you i really do.

Hey bro sorry I haven’t replied for some time. But yes you are absolutely correct about the security jobs. And just like you, they put me at this garage when I first started. Winter comes and we are still there sitting like idiots outside. It is true that it is soul crushing and in terms of career choice it is very limiting. Another problem I see with these security jobs is that it is dangerous, because you don’t really develop any real world skills.

Now more and more I think about going into construction. I am thinking about doing a year program in carpentry or plumbing and then taking on an apprenticeship. I am just not the book type of person and will easily get bored if I don’t do something with my hands.

Over the last year since I started working in this field I’ve noticed how much lazier I’ve became. Used to exercise at least twice a week, but now I don’t feel like I should.. and have gained quite a bit of weight.

I too hope that BOTH of us will finally crawl out of the s~~~hole. We just need to find the b~~~~ to get the wheels turning an start busting our asses once again.

MGTOW AKBAR

[Dashing Young DissidentSpectator]

Russky2 wrote:

Dashing Young Dissident wrote:

Hello fellow MGTOWers,

I am creating this new post in hopes of receiving some advice about life, work and personal growth. Will try to make this as short as possible, because some of this info is a bit painful to share.

So basically I have been physically abused during my childhood. Always getting bullied in school (4-5 guys vs myself), and never knew how to fight. After school my dad would beat the s~~~ out of me for not doing well in school. My belief is that physical punishment is extremely detrimental to one’s health and well being. Although I have forgiven everything and everyone, it’s impossible to forget.
Why do I talk about this? Because I think most of my misfortunes reside in the fact that my self confidence has been destroyed, and now I’m pretty much stuck in life with little to no progress.

My family migrated to Canada when I was 17. I barely finished school, although Gr 11 and 12 my marks improved, because no one was really f~~~ing with me. After high school enlisted in in Reserves, but resigned because I injured my knee real bad. After the army thing I went to College for business, but hated it and dropped out. I then went for something that was much more interesting (Biotech) and received associate degree in this field. But the jobs in my area in Biotech field are scarce and competition is fierce for even the basic wages. I learned that most of the Biotech companies would start with basic min wage. After a year of unsuccessful job hunt I gave up looking for work in Biotech, and now work as a security guard.

Even though I make some money, there is a growing concern for my own future. Every day I think of being worthless, useless and now face the real danger of living in poverty in future. The thought of this really scares me, and I have no idea or direction on what to do with my life.

I know most of you would not converse with someone who lives in their mom’s basement, but there is little choice as I cannot afford to live on my own. Have you been in a similar type of situation, and if so how did you get out? What particular actions did you take and what kind of mindset did you have to achieve that?

Another thing I wanted to talk about is the lack proper education and mentors in one’s life. Most of the teachers I had encountered throughout high school would belittle their students for bad performance, while the parents add salt to the wound. I think the society has gotten the wrong idea about education, motivation and raising children. It is unfortunate that so many people have been raised in such conditions, because these memories and experiences stick with them for the rest of life. When someone instills a belief in you, whether good or bad it usually results in that person actually following up on this belief. Right now I am thinking of possibly rewiring my thoughts and beliefs, yet I keep getting back to the negative thinking. For some time I was contemplating going to a shrink, but there is a feeling of mistrust towards health professionals as I can see them only doing their job for the money.

So what should I do brothers? Is it simply a matter of kicking myself in the ass and being more aggressive with the job hunt? Am I being too negative and should start thinking more positive? WTF do I do to get myself out of this misery?

Hey Russky2,

I’m in the exact same boat as you man. Im 32 in a few months and have done security for the last 6 years man. I had a decent engineering job in a cable making factory in 2010 and lost it to the bulls~~~ recession. After that I decided to get a security guard licence (no idea why) and I’ve done everything from working in a mens prison to working at the dole office dealing with angry benefit claimants. I also still work as a bouncer/doorman on the weekends, and it is a dog s~~~ job. I stood outside a bank in one miserable security job for a year, 9 hours a day, just standing there like a t~~~ bored out of my skull. I lost the job after some jumped up little tosser customer gave me verbal abuse for being on my phone, and after a year of doing that soul destroying job and dealing with yuppie, condescending bastards, I finally snapped telling him to get in his car before I dragged him round the back and ended him.

The previous doorman/bouncer security company I worked for some how liquidated due to a dodgy tax issue, so now i work in-house for the bar i used to be contracted to by said company, because the manager there likes me. I utterly loathe the job and every f~~~ wit that patronizes the place.

Working security is one of the lowest paid jobs in the world, not to mention your are treated like a disposable/expendable piece of s~~~ and treated with utter disdain. I recommend you leave this dead end kill-your-self ‘industry’ and reclaim your dignity and pride, like I will eventually once I return to UK, and find a job that will treat you with respect and where you are appreciated.

Theres no garuntees that I wont do some weekend doorman work once i get back, as I have to survive somehow while I stay at my grandmothers. But If I do mange to find out what exactly it is I want to do job wise, I guess i will be stuck doing that inane s~~~.

I too have become a lazy fat f~~~ from doing security. I have a bit of a gut now from all the energy drinks and junk food i stuffed by face with over the years, while doing those soul destroying security jobs. Standing out in all weathers freezing my b~~~~ off or getting scorched by the sun. The trouble with doing security is you are made to feel like ass, some servile slave and become fatigued and lifeless and end up having no enthusiasm for anything, and its the same when you go home. You just can’t be f~~~ed doing anything. It’s a horrid cycle that will never end unless you get out of there. Not to mention the paltry pay. I’m in $20 NZD an hour at this bar job and it goes nowhere. For the normal static guard jobs i was getting minimum wage, and lived like i always did from week to week like a f~~~ing loser.

I still have no idea what the f~~~ im going to do once i get back to the UK. I have no interest in any type of 9-5 job or career. I’m an artist/creative person, so by default, I am already f~~~ed. I want to make films, be in a metal band, and get some of my creative stories published.

I understand we all have to work to ‘pay the bills’ blah blah blah, but f~~~…i had no idea id end up like this in my 30s. My generation was f~~~ing robbed anyway, lied to, bulls~~~ted etc etc.

Anyway man, i hope it works out for you i really do.

Hey bro sorry I haven’t replied for some time. But yes you are absolutely correct about the security jobs. And just like you, they put me at this garage when I first started. Winter comes and we are still there sitting like idiots outside. It is true that it is soul crushing and in terms of career choice it is very limiting. Another problem I see with these security jobs is that it is dangerous, because you don’t really develop any real world skills.

Now more and more I think about going into construction. I am thinking about doing a year program in carpentry or plumbing and then taking on an apprenticeship. I am just not the book type of person and will easily get bored if I don’t do something with my hands.

Over the last year since I started working in this field I’ve noticed how much lazier I’ve became. Used to exercise at least twice a week, but now I don’t feel like I should.. and have gained quite a bit of weight.

I too hope that BOTH of us will finally crawl out of the s~~~hole. We just need to find the b~~~~ to get the wheels turning an start busting our asses once again.

Thats great you are looking into that. Not sure wtf I’m gunna do in the long run…life is such bulls~~~.

I was never really a lazy person before, but in the last 6 years I have been f~~~ed over and abused so much that I lost the f~~~ing will to give a s~~~ about most things in general. Plus I finally got to seethings for what they were. Like you said, security provides no promotion or real skills, and so you remain at the bottom of the ladder, well, in the catacombs, further down, treated with disdain and will never get a break forever.

I do have a defeatist attitude yet I’m also the guy trying to break the mold, fight the system and am ambitious. I just don’t care about what most people s~~~ themselves over and worry about. I find al lthe trivial things people menstruate over so pathetic and time wasting.

What we are in search for is to be content. Happiness is a fallacy. I want to have my own place, whether it be a s~~~hole, its my place, and a decent paying job I can at least tolerate. This is all I need for now.

[Author]

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