Resume advice requested-What is the "fad de jour"?

[Soul ManParticipant 1856]

Hey all!  OK, I am coming to you guys today for some practical everyday input where I seem to be coming up short.  Honestly, I haven’t searched here so I apologize if this topic has been previously covered.  I’m not lazy I assure you…I just like to cut straight to the chase when I need information.  Anyway….

I am old enough at 47 to have been on the tail end of the generational workforce mantra of “Get a good job with a stable company, stay there 30 years, and retire”.  Not exactly my idea of a good time but that’s what the social conditioning of my youth and my parents beat in to my head.  Well, I reluctantly followed that advice and had a career in telecom for close to 20 years.  I worked in the operations/provisioning end mostly during that time.  It provided a ton of practical experience as well as worldly experience.  I did get a BS degree in the field at one point in my career so I am “educated” for what that is worth in today’s employment paradigm.  After facing a layoff at the beginning of 2007, I truly had no clue what I wanted to do.  I know the kind of work related challenges I enjoy;  challenges that test my logic and allow me to use my creativity to solve problems.  That much I know.  My problem is I transitioned in to a completely different career field where I don’t have much risk of my job being outsourced to India.  This career field, while quite stable, is rife with cronyism and no upward mobility.  To complicate matters, my current job is very important in the big scheme of things but it is also severely lacks any challenge.  The pay is o.k. for what I actually do although I did make more money in telecom.  Furthermore, ethically, the paradigm in my current line of work diverges greatly with my personal code of ethics.  I work in the public sector and it has left a rather foul taste in my mouth after witnessing the overall level of bulls~~~ that goes on there.  I don’t really care to debate the merits of “there will be bulls~~~ anywhere you go”.  I get that.  I’ve been in the workforce long enough to grasp that concept.  What I am saying about bulls~~~ here is the difference between rubber boots, hip waders, and a full-on self contained diver’s suit.  My work situation is the latter.  It is intolerable and I refuse to be trapped there by social conditioning or anything else.  The truth is I am good enough financially that I could coast for the next 2-3 years if I wanted to do so.  However, that would severely impact my ability to make more money on my investments.  So, this is the reality I am operating in at the current time.

My understanding of resumes…

1.)  A resume must pretty much be tailored to the job you want to get.  So, in other words you may as well write a new resume every time you apply for a specific job.  A generic resume simply won’t get you any attention.

2.) Some how, some way, your verbiage in the resume must take what I consider mundane details and spin them in such a manner that it makes the mundane sound grandiose.  I struggle with this as I am not really one to say one thing when I really mean something else.  I consider it truth in advertising.  Although I seldom come up short for colorful and expressive language, I have a very difficult time doing this when the subject matter is myself and my qualifications.  Is this an instance where honesty is not your best ally?

3.) Out of hundreds or potentially thousands of resumes a hiring manager might see, one must somehow “wow” that manager (in 20 seconds or less) when he sees your resume to the point that he jizzes in his pants, cancels the rest of his appointments for the day, tosses the other resumes in the trash heap, and immediately calls you and begs you to come down to the company vault and help yourself to some bags of cash.  In other words you have to give him that Chris Matthews “thrill up the leg” feeling.  *groans and face palms*

I’m sure I am forgetting some things but perhaps some guys with experience “job hopping” can help me here.  Let me qualify that I don’t use the term “job hopping” as a pejorative.  It is simply the way of the world these days.  I get that.  The time of being loyal to one company has long passed just like loyalty in marriage.  I am stuck in this sense and need a breakthrough.  I need to change careers again and I need to get the ball rolling.

My situation is as follows:

I worked in telecom operations for many years managing wholesale services and provisioning projects for other resellers/carriers.  I was part of a team that automated manual processes and designed “in-house” programs to take the labor out and put efficiency in.  I had my hands in IBM mainframes, mid-range platforms, and desktop platforms.  I compiled reporting from many sources.  I participated in identifying and resolving technical issues for multi-million dollar customers.  I also worked in information services overseeing enterprise development of over 1,000 applications.  I assigned the work to the appropriate development teams for migration and break/fix.  I do have knowledge, although somewhat limited, in linear and object oriented programming.  I have a real predisposition to using a lot of “right-brain” intuition to solve “left-brain” logic problems.

My problem is how do I articulate this type of information to wow a hiring manager?  Admittedly, I am out of touch with how things are done in this respect.  I find myself now working in the public sector where innovation, progressive thought (in a purely forward-thinking business context), and creativity are not valued and are openly mocked.  Obviously this doesn’t sit well with me and change in this arena is imperative for me.  My first thought is survival of my psyche because my current job is taking a heavy toll on my personal and professional life.  I’m 47 and don’t have a lot of time to waste career-wise.  My second thought is I likely need to get back to school and update my technical/software skills if I want to return to a more cerebral career path where I can make a difference.  I am fully willing to entertain this thought but my current situation doesn’t not create the conditions necessary for me to execute.

Anyway, something has to change….and soon.  While it’s perhaps not “square one”, I realize I need to get myself up to speed on the latest and greatest resume tactics.  I’ve only had two careers in my adult life so I have a knowledge gap in this area.  If you have read to this point, I thank you for your patience.  Furthermore, I thank you in advance for any constructive and useful input you can provide.

Thank you my MGTOW brothers!  🙂

 

HISTORY...learn from it, memorize it, DON'T repeat it...

[– Deleted on Request –Spectator 936]

Soul Man:

 

I quit my teaching job nearly 13 years ago and haven’t found anything since.  I tried all sorts of different tactics and CV styles, but nothing worked.

 

For one thing, I’m now in my late 50s.  That automatically makes me ineligible.  After all, I’m supposed to be “over the hill” or I now need “more” health care or some such thing to justify the rampant age discrimination that’s being practiced.

 

I don’t know all the current buzz words and biz-babble which, again, means my application will end up in the rejection stack or, rather, will be “kept on file for 6 months”  (does that mean those employers empty their trash only twice a year?).   I’m not up on whatever fashion is currently in vogue, nor do I have my ears constantly plugged into some electronic toy.  I also make the mistake of using telephones for conversations, watch my movies on TV instead of from some Internet website, and (horrors!) I’m old enough to know what an LP and a 45 are.  (“Gee, QWV, shouldn’t you be fossilized by now?”)

 

Do those things matter?  Indeed they do.  Most workplaces are little cliques, social clubs where work is occasionally done.  An old “grandpa” like me wouldn’t provide a “good fit” (another marshmallow phrase-du-jour), meaning that I’d be a square peg where there are nothing but round holes.

 

I don’t miss any of it.

 

[griffinParticipant 189]

Soul Man,

Well I know I can’t provide any real good advice as to content…but I have heard time and time again to keep the resume as short as possible…even a single page if you can pull it off. Anything over 2 pages and it most likely gets tossed in the trash as no one apparently has the time to read anymore…just my 2 cents…

 

[experiencedParticipant]

Find a hard core interview coach from your career sector of the economy. Pay and see him in person.  You’d  not  believe  the quantity of total BS tests that’ll get pulled on you in an interview.  The coach will also rip your resume’ to shreds with a red pen.  The coach may act like a prick at times, but the interview will be easy in comparison.

 

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[SauronHimselfParticipant 4]

I took a very unorthodox approach to my cover letter when all the standard templates didn’t yield calls or emails, and it took me a while to realize that everyone else is using the same techniques. If that is the case, how can one be unique? You can’t.

Here is the cover letter I wrote to the company for which I now work:

“Dear [name redacted],

Are you having a good day? The reason I ask is because it can’t be pleasant reading hundreds of cover letters and resumes every eight hours. Look, you obviously don’t need me to tell you I’m applying for this position; to do so would be an insult to your intelligence. I am simply a diligent person who wants a fair chance at an opportunity, and you can see from my resume that I am well qualified for this job. I won’t sugar coat anything I say, and I don’t carefully craft my interview answers like most people do to hide my weaknesses. I’m not Superman, and I don’t walk on water. I would simply like to be interviewed for this position because I know I’m the best fit for it. Please call me at my phone number listed above so we can discuss more.”

 

The hiring manager called me two days later and specifically mentioned my cover letter because it made him laugh.

[Lazarus LongParticipant 365]

I have found that brevity is your friend and to remember that you are trying to make a sale. Being direct can definitely be a bonus. You must have a cover letter, only a couple of paragraphs because they will only likely scan the cover letter and the resume.

I like to start my cover letter with “You should hire me because…..” fill in the blank about the job that you would be awesome for.

Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one's self. -Terry Goodkind

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