Response extraction

[EGParticipant 1852]

This summer I’ve devoted myself to a social project: how to get out of talking to annoying people who ask too many questions. Not normal questions that come up in a typical conversation, but the type of questions that usually come rapid-fire and which are designed to stump you. It’s not lost on me that the question-asker is trying to establish social dominance. The person who extracts information from another person is the one running the conversation; a power-play. My gut usually tells me when this is happening upon meeting someone new, or even someone I’ve know for a while but who is embarking on a new social game. I’ve come to recognize these people by the time they get to their third or forth question. What I want to know is how do you all get away from people like this? What are good tactics to shut someone down when they’re playing games with you, disguising their intentions behind words that sound innocent enough, but are designed to set up a one-way flow of information?

[HermitParticipant]

I give them very short, vague answers with minimal to no information. If they persist, I’ll pretend to not understand the question and sometimes give them answers that have nothing to do with their questions. Then I may just say nothing and shrug my shoulders. As you can imagine, it’s quite frustrating for them when you play dumb like that.

Sometimes I just smile and walk away.

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[StealthParticipant 5330]

just say ok and walk away

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[Daryll55Participant 2950]

Hermit wrote:

I give them very short, vague answers with minimal to no information. If they persist, I’ll pretend to not understand the question and sometimes give them answers that have nothing to do with their questions. Then I may just say nothing and shrug my shoulders. As you can imagine, it’s quite frustrating for them when you play dumb like that.
Sometimes I just smile and walk away.

I’m laughing as I read your post as I do the same damn things. Like to add in “act like a retard and talk really slow”
trying not to laugh of course.

Marry again, Hell NO ! ( Even JESUS was hung on a cross just once)

[Gravel PitParticipant]

my whole demeanor and personality rests on my sleeve. Just the way Iam. So they know who theyre dealing with right away.
If they start prodding me with questions that I dont want to answer, I become obnoxious and rude. If they persist I will do something totally over the top like screaming at them or saying really explicit stuff to them that is socially taboo but clearly a mark of intelligence. LOL.

shock value, scare them off….

[EGParticipant 1852]

Hermit wrote:

I give them very short, vague answers with minimal to no information. If they persist, I’ll pretend to not understand the question and sometimes give them answers that have nothing to do with their questions. Then I may just say nothing and shrug my shoulders. As you can imagine, it’s quite frustrating for them when you play dumb like that.
Sometimes I just smile and walk away.

This is known as “gray-stoning” or “going gray-stone” in narcissism-abuse recovery circles. I’m getting better at this but I’m still not very good.

[Gravel PitParticipant]

IDK bro, I want to change my answer but I think its true. I usually do something socially disgraceful and end up regretting it. Then I have to apologize later… Then I resent them even more because most people never apologize for being discourteous to me but I apologize because I want to be loved by all…

[iMickey503Participant 12465]

If you want love, make mistakes. Everyone loves it when they can identify with you. Why people don’t get this I have no idea.

I’m not perfect. Be okay with that. means you got more opportunity in the future. And people like that.

As far as people coming to ask you questions? Dude, you got to understand. Like it or not, Your MGTOW way of life, and the confidence you happen to get…(Minus RUSKY… WHO NEEDS SOME BAD LOL) SHINES. You just don’t see it.

Many of you guys think it’s cuz you are outsiders. Nope. People just are not use to you being so confident. And they want some of that. Just talking to you make THEM feel better.

Then the go back to their little groups, and share. So THEY can take some of that MOJO.

No Real world here. You be a DJ, People ask you how you got there. Throw them a Business card. Charge money, MENTOR HIM.

Most of these people WANT something from you. It should be clear as day.

I still think Gravel pit needs to do Carb Rebuilds and Motorcycle vids and publish them. You guys really don’t get how your skills and the things you do and your know how are so VALUED by others.

Everyone WISHES they could be you. Cuz for the last 50 years, they have been tearing the b~~~~ out of men. And most are still trying to get them back. YOU ARE THE SOURCE OF THEM GETTING BACK ON THE HORSE.

So when women or men try to bring you back to their Plantation of thinking. Weather its some tool trying to make you vote for something, follow a dogma, give you awareness, they are Trying to grow their status. Make a buck of ya, and USE YOU.

If they really want to know more, HAVE THEM find you on the WEB and make them learn that way. Don’t make it easy for them.

And their is no simple or best way to deal with these people. But HERMIT… HE got’s the GIFT MAN!

Hermit wrote:

I give them very short, vague answers with minimal to no information. If they persist, I’ll pretend to not understand the question and sometimes give them answers that have nothing to do with their questions. Then I may just say nothing and shrug my shoulders. As you can imagine, it’s quite frustrating for them when you play dumb like that.
Sometimes I just smile and walk away.

I like to pretend I am retarded…(PRETEND…LOL) and man, does that work. They are out of my hair in a hurry. Or I get REALLY slow with my words.

OR, this works, if you are Bombed by attention, Simply act like a movie start and Give them all French Air kisses with your hands. It’s hard not to like people when you are funny.

You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home

[EGParticipant 1852]

Gravel Pit wrote:

IDK bro, I want to change my answer but I think its true. I usually do something socially disgraceful and end up regretting it. Then I have to apologize later… Then I resent them even more because most people never apologize for being discourteous to me but I apologize because I want to be loved by all…

I’m the same way, and this is what I want to change about myself. I sometimes watch people who seem calm, cool, and collected when someone’s pulling this crap with them and I want to know how they do it. It seems harder to shut someone down when they’re masking their bullying behind innocent-sounding questions. Someone asking a tactless, embarrassing, or nonsensical question with fake innocence is awfully hard to call out, and they know it. Some people seem to have a knack for disarming such covert attackers and this is what I want to learn. I’ve learned the hard way that they win when I rage.

[EGParticipant 1852]

iMickey503 wrote:

As far as people coming to ask you questions? Dude, you got to understand. Like it or not, Your MGTOW way of life, and the confidence you happen to get…(Minus RUSKY… WHO NEEDS SOME BAD LOL) SHINES. You just don’t see it.

Many of you guys think it’s cuz you are outsiders. Nope. People just are not use to you being so confident. And they want some of that. Just talking to you make THEM feel better.

Thank you for this. I’m no denier that my outlook on people has turned to sh!t these past few years as I watch what’s happening around me. I need a reminder like this to think positive sometimes. The take-down game is as popular in the bar scene these days as darts or pool. It’s hard to tell whether someone is being merely inquisitive – something I certainly don’t want to punish them for – or if they’re setting me up for a take-down with their questions. My default these days is to assume the latter. I’ve had a rough year with people.

[EGParticipant 1852]

iMickey503 wrote:

So when women or men try to bring you back to their Plantation of thinking. Weather its some tool trying to make you vote for something, follow a dogma, give you awareness, they are Trying to grow their status. Make a buck of ya, and USE YOU.

I’ve learned to recognize this and I keep it top-of-mind as I try to navigate these situations. As a side note: I’m loving my 40s. So much BS becomes clearer!

[iMickey503Participant 12465]

Well, that’s kind of how it works. You turn 35, things start to make sense. You turn 40, a box opens. By the time you are 50, your ass is tired of working hard and you find the laziest way to get something done you can. No sense in breaking your back. No girls to stare at you during your coke break.

That… And the fact that today… LOL.. Its a bit more extreme…

That lawnmower I bought? You know I;m thinking about a tractor next. F~~~! That dirt clogged my filter on my carb! And now? I got to clean it up again before I;m able to finish the lawn. I’m quickly starting to appreciate the guys who use to say f~~~ you to the others ones when the said they enjoy doing it. Hello, NOT every has the lawn you see in the movies… F~~~! I WANT A RIDING LAWNMOWER! LOL!

You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home

[Gravel PitParticipant]

that diet coke thing is strangely funny and awesome! well done.

never teach people how to fix stuff on youtube. We should delete those vidz because they need to pay men to fix things, not DIY self reliance crap. lol! rule #1 in business, make the sorry asses PAY you. lol

[AutoliteParticipant]

EG wrote:

What I want to know is how do you all get away from people like this?

I pretend that I can only speak and understand French. But that only works about half the time… 🙁

[SpiderHerderParticipant 3758]

I’ve had to deal with so many narcissists asking questions and then using it against me to hurt me, that I’m always on the defensive now. I hate wasting energy and those fu.cks drain me.

Oh bitchy jealous little fu.ck feels inferior so he has to make me pay ? Fu.ck him.

One exception: I met one guy who thought I was a simple guy, nothing special until another coworker brought his djembe to work and let me play for five minutes (I kicked butts to say the least lol). He had a lot of respect for me after that (genuine respect, it was weird, not used to it) and we became good friends.

But yeah, I’m in the same boat as you, EG. I would love to have a knack for dealing with these situations effortlessly, but it ain’t my strong suit.

[EGParticipant 1852]

SpiderHerder wrote:

I’ve had to deal with so many narcissists asking questions and then using it against me to hurt me, that I’m always on the defensive now. I hate wasting energy and those fu.cks drain me.

Yes exactly. They know when they ask a question that there’s a social expectation you’ll answer it, and they use that obligation against you. This is the dynamic I’m seeking to circumvent as soon as I spot it.

Some days I surprise myself with my witty retorts and other days I draw a blank and that’s when the questions start coming fast and furious; the narcissists know they’ve got me cornered.

[MonkParticipant 16984]

EG wrote:

What I want to know is how do you all get away from people like this?

As you say, it’s a power-play, or even bullying.

I stonewall them. A recent example:

[Jerk] (Aggressively, like I have to justify myself to them). “Where were you yesterday?”.
[Monk] “Out”.
[Jerk] “Where, doing what?”.
[Monk] “Here and there, this and that”.
[Jerk] (Realises that I know what they are doing and that I am stonewalling them. Stares at me very hard).
[Monk] (Looks innocent and stares right back).
[Jerk] (Walks away, visibly angry].

All very polite, but the jerk got the message loud and clear. It’s ‘fukk off’ without saying it.

[HermitParticipant]

Daryll55 wrote:

Hermit wrote:

I give them very short, vague answers with minimal to no information. If they persist, I’ll pretend to not understand the question and sometimes give them answers that have nothing to do with their questions. Then I may just say nothing and shrug my shoulders. As you can imagine, it’s quite frustrating for them when you play dumb like that.Sometimes I just smile and walk away.

I’m laughing as I read your post as I do the same damn things. Like to add in “act like a retard and talk really slow” trying not to laugh of course.

It’s funny to see them get frustrated and walk away.

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[Sky-OParticipant 18936]

When that happens, I always find a weak point in them early on (they are inherently fragile which is the foundation of their behavior) and I will divert my own answers to their ridiculous questions to a level and platform that they are unable to compete on.

Like. . . ‘I don’t know. I’ve been too busy jumping out of planes for the last week’ – Immediate shut down due to the person 99.99999% of the time not being a skydiver and nothing they respond with is relevant at that point.

Or. . . I will morph back into my blue pill era by throwing in ‘I’m so stressed out. . . this flight attendant keeps calling trying to get me to go to Cancun with her for a week again’

‘Spent all day restructuring my stock portfolio. Looks like I’ll be able to retire in about three more years when I move everything over to bonds and go to my condo in Costa Rica’

Basically: Slam them with stuff they cannot compete with even on a good day and they will scramble and regroup due to their own fragile facade.

[Sky-OParticipant 18936]

In the movie Napoleon Dynamite, he was getting hit by that crap by a bunch of jocks and retaliated in an ineffective way but it gives the basic formula for how to deal with it.

Like when they asked him what he did last summer:

‘I was in Alaska with my uncle, hunting wolverines!’

When they asked him how many he killed, he said.

‘Like 50 of them. They were trying to attack my cousins. What would you do in a situation like that!!’

[Author]

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