Requesting advice on having rich parents

[rironParticipant 45]

I’ve been conflicted about a bunch of things and am seeking the advice of other older mgtow.

The scenario:
My parents (specifically my dad) are super-rich, and I attend a prestigious college for engineering. The degree is amazing, but so is the tuitino. I’m near the end of my master’s degree, and I’ll have racked up 100K in student loans. Part of what triggered this post is that I realized I could have easily gotten a fellowship that would have funded the whole thing, or a bunch of different ways to cover my tuition, but I didn’t take any of them (mostly because I didn’t know of them beforehand).

I’ve been turning down money from my parents because it somehow makes me feel more free. I could ask my dad to pay off my student loans, and it would be nothing to him, but I’m worried I’ll lose something intangible. If it were my money, it would make sense for me to be as wasteful as I was with my degree, but it’s not my money. Pragmatically it makes sense to play the cards I’ve been dealt, one of which is rich parents, but spiritually I’m having doubts.

Also I’m considering having kids one day (through surrogacy of course). That adds a different thing: part of what made me who I am was seeing my parents work really hard and work their way up from poverty (I still have a super-strong work ethic, so I’m not entirely spoiled). Whereas I’ll be growing up in luxury, spending my parents’ money. If I have kids, do I teach them what my parents taught me (work hard, become super successful) or what’s essentially my interpretation of mgtow (do what you want to do in life)? On one hand, I want my kid to grow up with strong work ethic with the ability to do anything, and from there if they want to be lazy then that’s a choice they can make. On the other hand, I feel a ton of pressure because of my parents and I’m not sure if that’s something I want to pass on to children. If my kids know that part of my growth was fueled by my parents’ money, then they might not think it’s possible to become successful without having money injected into your life, which is the situation I’m trying to avoid.

How should I feel about digging myself into a ton student loans and not noticing the fellowships? Should I accept money from my parents to assuage the student loans (i.e. do I play the cards I’ve been given?) Thoughts on my parents’ money affecting my ability to raise a child?

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[rironParticipant 45]

Another thought:

I’m from an immigrant family. Apparently in three generations (i.e. my kid’s generation), we go from super-high achievers to regular people. But maybe that’s not so bad; perhaps constantly pushing yourself to be a 80h/week workaholic isn’t the best thing in the world.

Write "What is MGTOW?" on paper money and spend it. Spreading MGTOW with complete deniability. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22502]

Regarding advice on having rich parents.

my advice: definitely get some.

sorry couldnt help it 🙂

Seriously, if it makes him feel good to help out his son and its not a burden on him, let him do it. You can always surprise him later paying some of it back either in check form, or the form of a nice present or father-son vacation somewhere. Or work some deal out with him that you will set some goals, financial, career, and as you hit them, he can help pay off part of the debt, or set it up that he matches your debt payments dollar for dollar, or some ratio you both think ismgood, maybe the ratio goes up higher as you achieve more of your life goals you designate. You can still let him be generous and you can still earn some financial relief by hitting agreed upon life goals/targets.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[MonkParticipant 16975]

Your moral doubts and desire to make your own way do you credit. You are wise to avoid relationships. Modern women are simply too dangerous to be around.

You either get your family to pay the debt off, or if having done the calculations and looked at the employment opportunities available to you, pay it off yourself.

Moral issues aside, it might be wise to look at it as a business proposition. After all, you have the rest of your life ahead of you.

As to what to teach any child that you may have, you already have your answer.

Money is dangerous, so keep them short and make them work for it. If they don’t appreciate it when they have it, it is unlikely to end well. That you missed opportunities to truly make your own way via fellowships shows how easy it is to become dependent.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

You are an idiot, no offense.

You wanna drag your self through the mud, look at donald trump he took a “small” loan of 1 million from dad and builded an empire, looks to me you have the brain and the resourcess, but you have something that will drag you down if you down STUPID PRIDE.

Get help from dad, pay that s~~~, start a company or something and grow as big as possible.

About the kids… No matter what you do society is gonna corrupt them, dont create white knights with good work ethics, that is bulls~~~.
Create a hard worker shark with smart working ethic.

You know why tesla is my roll model? BECOUSE I DONT WANNA END UP LIKE HIM.

I think you are still young and idealist, wake up dorothy you aint in cansas anymore.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

You wanna still be independent, take a loan from dad instead from a bank or university, after you grow big pay back to dad, DONT LET YOUR PRIDE BE YOUR DEMISE.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[JB BooksParticipant 3182]

Take the money because you’re not compromising anything to get it and it’ll make your old man feel good too. Be careful not to get trapped by some golden vagina shooting flames out her ass and giving constant BJs. Suggest you consider a reversible vasectomy. THAT could be the best investment you’ll ever make.

We just don't realize life's most significant events while they're happening. Back then, I thought, "Well, there'll be other days". I didn't realize that that was the only day. - "Moonlight" Graham

[Dark KenshiParticipant 2132]

Your dad has already offered it, so take it and pay him back, cent by cent, when you finish it.
Fathers are more forgiving with debt and less greedy than banks, but MAKE SURE YOU PAY HIM BACK, or else you will ruin your relationship with him.

Take it from him as a LOAN, and you will be fine. He is investing in you, you are his asset, so he have interest in your sucess and well-being. Make sure you do the same with the old man when the time comes. BE GRATEFUL.

About the kids: don’t even bother. Government will take your kids away from you for any reason, specially hen you are a single father. Fathers are NOT respected by the government, and in fact, they will do ANYTHING to f~~~ your life up and ruin the relationship with your son.

"Young was I once, I walked alone, and bewildered seemed in the way; then I found me another and rich I thought me, for man is the joy of man." Odin, Hàvamàl, stanza 47.

[StealthParticipant 5326]

I faced the same question in college. Not that my parents were rich, but they wanted to pay for at least some of my undergraduate degree. I did not want them to, because now was finally my chance to be an adult and pave my own way in life, but in the end I caved and let them. In retrospect I do wish I had stuck to my guns because it made a slight “spiritual” difference between owning the situation for me 100% vs. going along with some parental program.

Do what is right for you. Paying your own way probably will improve your ownership of your degree, and your growing independence as a man. You don’t want to trade that for anything. On the other hand if the funds are available, your parents want to pay, and if it didn’t seem like a problem to you, there would be everything right with taking it. Paying off 100k will take several years, although going into engineering will help.

I also have seen guys with rich parents who foot the bill well into adulthood, which allows them to party it up and do what they want and afford richer life experiences when they are young. Whereas guys like me starting from zero sacrifice their twenties and thirties just to get off the ground. One rich mom once told me, my son can do all those things later! If there were no internal conflict, that would be ideal in terms of having life choices / options / experiences. But if you go through all of it concluding that it dilutes your growth or self-worth, etc. then it ain’t worth it. So go with your own convictions. Even if all the MGTOWs above are saying you’re stupid to not take the money because it’s money, or it will make someone else happy like your parents, ignore all that. That’s not what going your own way or living your own life is about. You’ve got to face yourself in the mirror and live your own life. So which ever way you want to go, do that. Even if you change your mind later.

As far as not knowing about the past fellowships, there’s nothing you can do now to change that, so forget it. If you continue into graduate school, definitely go for them.

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[GeraldParticipant 3620]

Secret Agent MGTOW wrote:

Regarding advice on having rich parents.
my advice: definitely get some.
sorry couldnt help it 🙂
s.

Beat me to it.

No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

[Anonymous 38]

Get your parents to pay off your debt. It’s a no brainer. There is nothing un spiritual about it. Otherwise all their riches is just sat there doing f~~~ all. At least it’s decreasing the burden on the state by a small fraction. Plus you give yourself the best (adult) start in life.

[rironParticipant 45]

Thanks guys. I think I’m going to ask for money, and stop letting my pride dictate things. I won’t necessarily use it to pay off the debt, but I think I’ll let it sit in an investment portfolio to parallel the debt; if I have my own money I won’t touch it, but at least I won’t have the stress of having to pay it off.

Secret Agent MGTOW wrote:

Regarding advice on having rich parents.
my advice: definitely get some.

I know you meant that as a joke, but I really should be grateful for what I have.

I know people here don’t really think about having kids, but I really am worried about not being able to be a good role model if I ever have kids. But I guess I shouldn’t reduce my life as it is on the chance I choose to have kids.

Write "What is MGTOW?" on paper money and spend it. Spreading MGTOW with complete deniability. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

[iMickey503Participant 12465]

My advice? Don’t ask poor people for advice.

You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home

[hollowtipsParticipant 681]

I’ve read an article that says about half of all millennials get financial help from their parents. I’m assuming you’re between 20-40, either get a house downpayment covered, a good paying job from your parents connections or get them to pay your loan outright. I used to be proud and not want help, but then I realized that the reason so many losers were so much more successful than me was because they were getting help. I had to get a monthly medical procedure than would have done a number on my pockets but my parents offered to help as a birthday gift and it allowed me to save. They’re less stressed knowing I have a financial cushion now.

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/06/18/more-millennials-get-support-from-their-parents.html

[StealthParticipant 5326]

iMickey503 wrote:

My advice? Don’t ask poor people for advice.

This is good advice!
Maybe someone in your circle, an older family friend, has gone through the same questions.

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[RealityBitesParticipant 2198]

OP
Regarding Student Loans – pay them off as fast as you can, if offered – use your parent’s money, and then save like crazy for retirement/house and other things
Regarding Surrogacy – that will cost about $200K for each child – for an egg, in-vitro and paying a surrogate mother to bring the child to term. A nanny will cost about $30K per year.
Cost to raise a child to age of 18 is about $250K per child or about $14k per year not counting what you pay a Nanny
Cost to send a kid to University about $250K per kid

Teaching a child the value of hard work, saving, how to manage money, and how to invest money is critical for that child to succeed, as is what to do when failure occurs. The child has to experience failure and learn how to pick himself up off his feet and rebuild his life.
Best if you have the kid earn everything and not tell them how much money you have, just tell them that you are poor and that they (the kids) are going to have to figure out how to get what they want: college tuition paid..(such as getting into a service academy or getting scholarships, etc.)
Don’t let them know your true wealth until the kids are 35. This way they will have started their careers, and started saving for retirement on their own….

[rironParticipant 45]

I asked my parents, they were like “okay take it”. I still haven’t taken the money though; I suppose I eventually will after a week or so.

Thanks everyone.

hollowtips wrote:

I’ve read an article that says about half of all millennials get financial help from their parents. I’m assuming you’re between 20-40, either get a house downpayment covered, a good paying job from your parents connections or get them to pay your loan outright.

Makes me feel like less s~~~.

I kind of went into a field different from my dad, partly so he couldn’t help me. Don’t really regret it though.

Write "What is MGTOW?" on paper money and spend it. Spreading MGTOW with complete deniability. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

[LionOnTheLooseParticipant 1315]

I’m a bit late to the party here but here’s my $0.02.

I don’t think there’s any shame in taking money from your parents. Were you hoping to win some sort of medal for being a good guy in not accepting money from them? I think you should examine that bit of your thinking. This idea that you need to earn your way, not sponge…look, I know the feeling, those are quite deeply-ingrained ideas (especially if you’re from a successful immigrant family), but remember they too are part of the blue-pill mindset, which values men working hard and grinding away, and prays on their egos to get them to do this.

There are no medals being given out for hard work.

I would also question this idea of having kids. Sure, wouldn’t it be nice to be a great dad with loving kids looking up to you. But I’m kind of with Carnage here: we’re not in Kansas anymore, that ship has sailed. Kids are never your kids anymore. The cards are stacked against us. And why would you even want to have kids? Isn’t that about your ego too?

I’m not going to say what to do…maybe you enter into a proper business relationship with your dad where you borrow money and you document it correctly and agree an interest rate, maybe they give you money (you can always make the point that they’ll just be paying a s~~~ ton of inheritance tax on money they don’t give you). But just a few ideas to think about.

There aren't holes in your pockets. It's called marriage.

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