Relieved I'm not the only one

[MoreSkyParticipant 4865]

Hi All,

Before finding this site, which I found after watching The Red Pill, I was genuinely concerned there was something wrong with me and had strongly considered seeking professional help.

After splitting up with the soon-to-be ex-wife, I was encouraged by friends and family to “get back on the horse” and start dating. After a couple of disastrous dates and an equally terrible short-term fling with a very needy and clingy nutter, I realised that I had no interest in any sort of relationship, even casual. It was at this point I began to worry that there was something wrong and that perhaps I needed counselling or something similar. I was very much on a downward spiral. No longer.

Anyway, here’s my story:

I’m a 46 year-old Brit and was married for 12 years.

Prior to meeting my ex, I had, I suppose, been MGTOW for about three years after a series of unfulfilling relationships and was not actively seeking anything new when I was introduced to my wife-to-be through friends, who thought I needed someone (I nearly said no).

I do not (and will never) regret meeting her as my daughter would not have been born, and being a Dad has been and is a wonderful thing.

When we met, I was a Senior Executive – very well paid and regularly travelling the world. She was eight years younger than me, with a great arse and seemed to be able to engage in coherent conversation.

We married about a year after meeting, and I didn’t think twice about paying off her debts and buying her a new car. Within a year my daughter was born (planned) and soon after I decided to leave my job and become a consultant, working from home (which I still do) to be able to be there for my daughter growing up. In retrospect, this didn’t get the positive support I expected. Perhaps she preferred it when I was away a lot.

In the years that followed I began to suspect that she had been having affairs but had no concrete proof and accepted her explanations that I was just being paranoid and it was a misunderstanding.

A few years later I sold my shares in the company I was with, and again paid off all her debts and bought her a new car, and for a time it seemed that all was well.

Sex was very infrequent and was often refused for reasons such as “being tired”, “having a water infection” or a “headache”, and was she was not particularly enthusiastic, and it was never (in the entire time I knew her) initiated by her.

Last year I discovered, quite by accident, that she was having an affair with a senior manager in the company she was working for, and I immediately kicked her out. I don’t want to go into the gory details but I don’t think sending pictures of various parts of your anatomy by text using a phone on a family account is the most discreet way to have an affair. Perhaps she did it deliberately. To be honest, I don’t really care; although the initial shock was considerable.

She pushed for a quick divorce, even though I was somewhat undecided, and I began divorce proceedings.

She admitted adultery to the courts. Nonetheless, she will get 50% of the equity in the my house, which I had before we were married, and she had paid nothing towards. Indeed, I paid for all bills and most of her expenditure for our entire marriage. I will also have to pay child maintenance, which I don’t really object to, but is still a significant amount.

Apparently, it is my fault that she had an affair as I did not trust her (which is true) and didn’t allow her freedom to socialise (which is not true).

As an aside, which I am not sure if it is funny or abominable, she is suing the company where she
used to work for constructive dismissal, as she resigned shortly after the manager she was having an affair with was fired (she says the timing was coincidental) and for sexual discrimination as she says that her bosses threatened to tell me of the affair if she did not comply with their instructions.

The affair with the manager lasted about three months following the discovery of the affair and subsequent separation.

As mentioned previously, I unsuccessfully attempted online dating (or successfully depending on how you look at it) and a few months ago realised I had no interest in any further relationships and have been trying to regain my motivation for doing stuff that I enjoy without worrying about anyone else (other than my daughter). Until I watched The Red Pill and discovered MGTOW, I went from being positive that I was free to do what I want to being quite depressed that there was something wrong with me in not wanting to share it with anyone and having no interest in women. To be frank, I began to have suicidal thoughts as I could not see any worth in myself as I was of no real use to anyone since I had already procreated and did not want to support any more women. I don’t think I would ever have gone through with it but the thoughts were there.

I cannot express how relieved I am to discover that I am not alone in wanting to do my own things and to not conform to the notion that I must be in a relationship to be happy; and it has been truly life-changing.

One of the ideas that struck a chord with me from The Red Pill was that if women can be perceived as sex-objects then men can be seen as success-objects. In reviewing my past I can now see that perspective in most (if not all) of the women I have had relationships with.

My story is not nearly as harrowing as many I have read and learned about since my eyes were opened, but I am here for you Brothers, and if my story helps in any way then I am glad.

A final aside – my username MoreSky is a reminder to myself to get out and see more sky and not be constrained by work or a culturally-induced sense of duty to be selfless.

MS

"...reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.” It is Your Life, Charles Bukowski.

[Anonymous 43]

No you are not the only one.

Welcome. I think there might be some beer in the fridge, if not, there are some in the garage, but it’s warm. put some more in the fridge when ya come back in.

Nothing wrong with you brother, its the women who are insane and fubar

[MoreSkyParticipant 4865]

Thanks for the welcome May 7 2020.
Beer is one pleasure that has been recently reintroduced following years of having it denied.

"...reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.” It is Your Life, Charles Bukowski.

[EstebanParticipant 79]

Welcome brother! Yes,you are not alone.

Like you, I found it difficult finding my self worth When I last split from a very LTR. However, I am now dicovering what my sovernty means to me. This has provided me much comfort in learning and achieving my objectives in life without the societal programming of needing a female constantly at my side that would do nothing more than distract me from my goals.

I bid you good luck Sir. You are on a new path that will take you far onto renewed self worth.

A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships... Apparently "in HD" was not the right answer.

[joetechParticipant]

Welcome to freedom. Don’t worry about dating. When you’re ready to, you will. Just don’t get married or let them move in with you. See them for what they are…opportunists! Enjoy the forums, and maybe we’ll see each other on zoomchat. We have lots of brothers from the UK here.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[Anonymous 6]

Geez, it’s amazing how many men have unique stories that are so similar too. Welcome.

[StealthParticipant 5335]

Welcome, brother. May you and I both see more sky as the air gets clearer.

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[Anonymous 6]

Welcome good sir, beer’s on ice, food is on the grill. I’m Venom. The political guy around here. Be sure to comment on everything so people can get to know you, and read some of those Historical Reflections. They’re quite exceptional

[MoreSkyParticipant 4865]

Esteban wrote:

Welcome brother! Yes,you are not alone.

Like you, I found it difficult finding my self worth When I last split from a very LTR. However, I am now dicovering what my sovernty means to me. This has provided me much comfort in learning and achieving my objectives in life without the societal programming of needing a female constantly at my side that would do nothing more than distract me from my goals.

I bid you good luck Sir. You are on a new path that will take you far onto renewed self worth.

Thanks Esteban. Sovereignty is a concept that struck a major chord with me.
I now realise that my own objectives are a purpose in and of themselves and perhaps always should have been.

"...reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.” It is Your Life, Charles Bukowski.

[VassagoShaxParticipant 255]

Greetings from a fellow Brit. You most definitely don’t have anything wrong with you. I’ve been reading through a vast array of posts from other members and there is a distinct feeling of Déjà vu. It helps, to know that there are others who know how you feel and what you are dealing with. Your ex sounds like a real keeper (inject sarcasm). I’ve been persistent in my life in the pursuit of the opposite sex, I just sincerely wish I had found this place much sooner. Would have saved a whole lot of grief.

[MoreSkyParticipant 4865]

Anonymous wrote:

Welcome good sir, beer’s on ice, food is on the grill. I’m Venom. The political guy around here. Be sure to comment on everything so people can get to know you, and read some of those Historical Reflections. They’re quite exceptional

Cheers Venom. Thanks for the advice. I will do so.
I’m fairly political and have been appalled at the things I have learned recently concerning men’s rights beyond my own situation.

"...reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.” It is Your Life, Charles Bukowski.

[Anonymous 1]

Welcome.

As Travis3000 says above — there are so many here with very similar stories (moi included).

You didn’t mention custody — I hope you have a significant involvement in your child’s life. That – if nothing else – is a reason to keep. on.

It sounds like you’ve been through the hard bits and can see the light at the end; welcome to your new life of freedom!

[Anonymous 54]

MoreSky wrote:

Beer is one pleasure that has been recently reintroduced following years of having it denied.

Welcome More Sky!

Sorry Im the curious type.
Did the wife not allow you to drink beer?

[MoreSkyParticipant 4865]

Anonymous wrote:

Welcome.

As Travis3000 says above — there are so many here with very similar stories (moi included).

You didn’t mention custody — I hope you have a significant involvement in your child’s life. That – if nothing else – is a reason to keep. on.

It sounds like you’ve been through the hard bits and can see the light at the end; welcome to your new life of freedom!

The light is definitely visible.

I see my daughter after school every day (during term time) as I work from home most of the time, and alternate weekends. Custody is not really an issue and the ex has not tried to play on that. She knows full well if she did then I would be very uncooperative indeed.

"...reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.” It is Your Life, Charles Bukowski.

[MoreSkyParticipant 4865]

Anonymous wrote:

MoreSky wrote:

Beer is one pleasure that has been recently reintroduced following years of having it denied.

Welcome More Sky!

Sorry Im the curious type.
Did the wife not allow you to drink beer?

Thanks for the welcome Old Sage.

It wasn’t so much that she didn’t allow me to drink – it was more that I was expected to be a chauffeur at a moment’s notice.

"...reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.” It is Your Life, Charles Bukowski.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Welcome to the sanctuary brother.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[Anonymous 54]

MoreSky wrote:

Old Sage wrote:

MoreSky wrote:

Beer is one pleasure that has been recently reintroduced following years of having it denied.

Welcome More Sky!

Sorry Im the curious type.
Did the wife not allow you to drink beer?

Thanks for the welcome Old Sage.

It wasn’t so much that she didn’t allow me to drink – it was more that I was expected to be a chauffeur at a moment’s notice.

Put your feet up. Crack that beer now!

[Anonymous 42]

I like your user name (more sky) You should try it coming out the Supper Pipe inverted! As long as you see snow white and not blue coming around to stick the landing you’re alright!

[AutoliteParticipant]

MoreSky wrote:

I cannot express how relieved I am to discover that I am not alone in wanting to do my own things and to not conform to the notion that I must be in a relationship to be happy; and it has been truly life-changing.

There are several of us here who chose the MGTOW lifestyle many years before we even knew that it had a name. You are most certainly not alone.

Welcome…

[MoreSkyParticipant 4865]

Anonymous wrote:

MoreSky wrote:

Old Sage wrote:

MoreSky wrote:

Beer is one pleasure that has been recently reintroduced following years of having it denied.

Welcome More Sky!

Sorry Im the curious type.
Did the wife not allow you to drink beer?

Thanks for the welcome Old Sage.

It wasn’t so much that she didn’t allow me to drink – it was more that I was expected to be a chauffeur at a moment’s notice.

Put your feet up. Crack that beer now!

I’m on my second Bud, playing my guitar (badly) and watching the F1 Grand Prix Qualifying and don’t feel an ounce of guilt about it.

"...reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.” It is Your Life, Charles Bukowski.

[Author]

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