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Ronin11 1 year, 11 months ago.
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Here are some experiences I’ve had in relationships both in the past and current. I’m someone just opening my eyes to the red pill, at 42 years old. I’m in a relationship, but it isn’t a particularly good one anymore:
1) Every girl has a sob story about at least one awful ex. My natural instinct was to hate them for what they’d done to her. Usually, after a year or so, I begin to understand why they did what they did! I often met these ‘terrible human beings’ later and found the accusations to be lies or gross exaggerations.
2) I’ve been fooled by a pretty or innocent face, especially when tears are involved. Particularly as a young man, the number of times I’ve been conned this is immeasurable. Usually finding it too hard to believe this cute girl is capable of doing such an awful thing or seeing tears and feeling the male urge to comfort/pity. Girls can cry on demand. Deceitful girls are usually the pretty ones.
3) The days of sex and blowjobs are limited. It’s been used to draw me in, it’s just a tool she uses to get me to commit. Without exception, every time a girl had me where she wanted I became the one initiating sex, she became lazy in bed and blowjobs were a thing of the past. My current girlfriend now sees sex as some kind of treat for good behavior. Like I’m a lapdog looking for a Scooby Snack for running around after her. I’ve told her ‘no thanks’ so we’ll see how that goes!
4) Men go in to a relationship hoping a woman wont change, women enter a relationship hoping to change a man. It’s cliche but true! I hope they stay as generous, kind and sexually active (see point 3) but once she has you, she removes the mask. She already knew what she wanted to change about you and gets to work on that. I have actually been pathetic enough to become someone I don’t like much to try and “make her happy”. She’ll want you to cut off your friends, give up hobbies, never sit still (you’re lazy if you sit down whereas she sits for hours watching s~~~ on TV).
5) Marriage changes a woman. It’s not all their fault. I believe the laws being the way they are corrupt even decent women, although a lot of women are already eyeing up the financial rewards of marriage. As soon as you’re married, she has the upper hand. If she behaves badly, cheats on you, abuses you, what are you going to do? She knows she’ll take the house, your money and the kids. She knows your terrified of it. How can she not lose respect when she has you by the b~~~~ in this way? I speak from person experience. (I’m no longer married and never will be again!)
6) Showing emotional ‘weakness’ to a woman is a bad idea. I’m not saying it’s actually a weakness to be hurt if you’re a man – I’m saying she’ll crucify you for it. You will become a pathetic boy in her eyes and she will crush you for it. I remember I allowed my ex-wife to drive me to tears as she was threatening to take my daughter away from me. She sat down calmly opposite me and slowly clapped.
7) Be careful what you tell her. Private family matters, personal problems etc are for discussing with male friends. She will use them against you in an argument. I still have private stuff thrown in my face by my ex-wife of 5 years because she hopes it will get to me. She doesn’t care about being decent.
8) Walk away from an argument. You can’t reason with someone who isn’t reasonable so don’t try. She will cry, she will shout, she will try to derail any discussion by bring up other unrelated matters, but she will never admit she’s wrong. She can’t be. Walk away and maintain the higher moral ground. Otherwise she will succeed in dragging you in to a screaming match and you’ll lose. Why? Because she’s prepared to go a lot lower than you are and she’s not interested in the original point anymore.
9) Saying ‘sorry’ for something that isn’t my fault to ‘keep the peace’ has been a regular occurrence in my life until recently. Never again. I won’t do it. She knows it isn’t my fault and will just lose respect.
10) Bluffing. My current gf uses this a lot. Threatens to end a relationship or recently to cancel a trip to London as we are literally sat in the train station. I’ve started calling her bluff now and she backs down. It’s not enough, I think we’re too far down the line now, she’s in full arsehole mode and I’ve only started to grow a pair in the last 2 months. Will see!
Welcome.
All good points.
Their capacity for spite and cruelty still amazes me.
“When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An’ go to your Gawd like a soldier”.Rudyard Kipling – ‘The Young British Soldier’.
Welcome from a fellow Brit resident. I was actually born here but I’m so sick of our nut – case society I’ve decided to renounce any allegiance to it , but that’s another matter.
I totally agree with your points. I’m getting used to putting my sex drive in its place as it always got me into trouble. The things a man will sacrifice for good regal sex or rather the hope and promise of such. I spent the last 8 years of my marriage without sex. Now I live and sleep alone. If I get horny I deal with it. It’s much better than lying in bed having been rejected for the third time that week to add to the previous years of sexual wasteland.
I’m over 50 now and trying to focus more on a spiritual way of life, rather than sexual. I’m not religious but I take alot of comfort from the beauty of the natural world. Why would I pin my life on another human, let alone a woman? I never again want that devestation that results from having seen my investment in a person go to s~~~Very good points. You mentioned your current girlfriend. Now I have to ask it seems you know the deal with women and you have your s~~~ together.
Why do you have a girlfriend?
The reason I ask because there are different stages of MGTOW.
Now for me. I have a few female friends and acquaintances but none of them are sexual. I used to have friends with benefits but women change their minds and want something more serious with me after.
For me, I tell them straight about their gender which brings on some interesting debates so I do talk to women so not judging you.
As for sex, do you charge by the hour or can I get a half an hour? Then there is sex toys and porn.
The thing with me is I can talk to women platonically but when their emotions and their feelings come into the mix I just want to leave.
That’s why I really can’t have a relationship because I know of their nature and from that stand point it’s a turn off.
Unfortunately, I do have to do a lot of duck diving and dodge like Patches said in the Dodgeball movie because they can’t understand why I can talk to them and then pay them no mind and then they are excited to see me weeks later.
Anyways, just curious about your situation.
Hi kbbroiler
Why do I have a girlfriend? It’s only now, at 42 sadly, that the penny has started to drop. I guess I’m in the early stages of facing the reality. The red pill can be a bitter one to swallow at first. Don’t think I’ve wanted to admit it to myself for a long time.
The reality is not that my girlfriend and I aren’t right for one another, it’s a lot more than that. Every relationship I have been in has proved women to be dishonest, they have lured me in with a facade and then got to work on making me miserable either financially or emotionally.
Yet each time I’m caught off guard as this seemingly loving, sweet human being turns in to something I don’t recognise. Recently I’ve started to wake up. More fool me for taking so long! Falling of the same routine each time, blinded by the promise of sex and controlled by the withdrawal of it. Worried about the financial implications of a break up, taking s~~~ that I’d never take from a man.
It’s the same routine every time. The pendulum gradually swings until they have the ‘commitment’ they want, until they have you supporting them financially, until your are nagged in to submission, cowed into a shadow of yourself.
I think “eyes opening, but a recent development” sums me up.
I’m getting used to putting my sex drive in its place as it always got me into trouble.
Until a man is master of his sex drive, he is master of nothing.
I’m over 50 now and trying to focus more on a spiritual way of life, rather than sexual.
Spiritual progress will be slow or non-existent as long as the sex drive remains active and uncontrolled.
I’m getting used to putting my sex drive in its place as it always got me into trouble.
Food for thought for me.
Mr. UKGuy Sir,
I have so much respect for people who is honest about what they have been thru and what they feel. It takes a man of stature to write the truth, no matter how ugly it is. Kudos to you for that.
And now my comments to your well-written experiences:
1) Every girl has a sob story about at least one awful ex.
And who choose that awful guy? Who spread her legs for him? Yup, I thought so too.
2) I’ve been fooled by a pretty or innocent face, especially when tears are involved.
I do not underestimate anyone, but more than anyone I do not underestimate people trying to rub my ego, or pretending to be lower or less smart than me. These are the ones I specially watch out for, because I see they want to take advantage of me.
3) The days of sex and blowjobs are limited. It’s been used to draw me in, it’s just a tool she uses to get me to commit. My current girlfriend now sees sex as some kind of treat for good behavior.
A girl told me once that she would no longer have sex with me until we were married. My reply, honest and thoughtful of her feelings, was: “Since I am not a rapist I accept your proposal. From now on, I will not have sex…WITH YOU…until we get married.” Marriage never happened.
The way I get laid all the time is simple: On the first or second date I tell them that I want to have sex, and if they need time it means that either there is no chemistry or we go in different speeds. Either way, if there is no sex I will not meet them again. This method works like a charm, and very seldom a woman refused.
the psychology behind it is pure power game. She will step on you unless you step on her.
4) Men go in to a relationship hoping a woman wont change, women enter a relationship hoping to change a man. It’s cliche but true! I hope they stay as generous, kind and sexually active (see point 3) but once she has you, she removes the mask.
This is why I time my relationships with a short fuse. I´d say 3 months tops. If a woman changes her behavior I consider this as a great offense, because she pretended to be someone she was not. The second you realize the abundance of women, and they realize you realize, you will call the shots.
5) Marriage changes a woman. It’s not all their fault. I believe the laws being the way they are corrupt even decent women, although a lot of women are already eyeing up the financial rewards of marriage.
Marriage in the western world is like a license to kill for women. A woman told me once that “she wouldn´t do that” (referring to the cash and prizes she can get in a divorce). Then I asked her “even if I went to bed with your best friend?” and then she began talking like Judge Dredd.
I do not care how good she is or say she is. The fact that so much power is giving to her is enough reason to stay away from the whole thing.
6) Showing emotional ‘weakness’ to a woman is a bad idea. I remember I allowed my ex-wife to drive me to tears as she was threatening to take my daughter away from me. She sat down calmly opposite me and slowly clapped.
Whore. But I am glad you have learned the lesson.
7) Be careful what you tell her.
That applies to anyone. Would you give me your bank pin number?
8) Walk away from an argument. You can’t reason with someone who isn’t reasonable so don’t try. She will cry, she will shout, she will try to derail any discussion by bring up other unrelated matters, but she will never admit she’s wrong.
Cry? Shout? I think we may have a more fundamental problem here. Shouting is violence, and thus I do not allow it in my life. I left a woman I was planning to marry because she shouted at me…once, for the first (and as you can see last) time.
I don´t really walk away from arguments. I walk away from people. If you try any immoral trick to win an argument with me, I will walk away from you.
9) Saying ‘sorry’ for something that isn’t my fault to ‘keep the peace’.
See comment above.
10) Bluffing. My current gf uses this a lot. Threatens to end a relationship or recently to cancel a trip to London as we are literally sat in the train station. I’ve started calling her bluff now and she backs down. It’s not enough, I think we’re too far down the line now, she’s in full arsehole mode and I’ve only started to grow a pair in the last 2 months. Will see!
I absolutely love bluffing. It is oh-so-female. Once I had a motorcycle accident with a 250cc bike. My mum went to visit me to the hospital saying “oh but sure you won´t ride bikes no more”. I was still wearing stitches when I bought my next, 650cc bike, which I wouldn´t buy, or buy later, or buy smaller, if it wasn´t for my mum´s comment. Later on, wearing fresh scars, I upgraded to a 900cc just for safe measure.
So I would call that London bluff. In fact, I would tear down the tickets on her face, disappeared for a week, and then go back home as if nothing had happened. Then, when she began shouting at me again, I would disappear for 2 weeks, and go back home again. I have done that more than once with 100% customer satisfaction.
You would be surprised how much respect you start getting when you begin commanding respect.
Focus on your work, your career, saving money, and the chicks will come.Brilliant post Mark. I like your approach.
I have only just woke up and started to smell the coffee. Now time to grow a pair.
My mantra from here on in is to go with my gut. It’s been right in all of the above situations but have been too much of a pussy to act on it. You pay double in the end anyway so best to act decisively.
Brilliant post Mark. I like your approach.
I have only just woke up and started to smell the coffee. Now time to grow a pair.
My mantra from here on in is to go with my gut. It’s been right in all of the above situations but have been too much of a pussy to act on it. You pay double in the end anyway so best to act decisively.
Your gut is nothing more than common sense + experience. Our so-called “culture” overrides common sense, re-program our otherwise well tuned instincts, and make us act like idiots. Case in point: Buying diamonds.
You are 42. I am 40. So I feel your pain, and I have been there. There is never too late to smell the coffee, and always too late not to do something about it.
My own brother, 10 years my senior, is the kindest, most hard-working man I ever met. He had less than 5 girlfriends, and was cheated on, before meeting “the one”. Soon enough she was overweight and whatever little work she did before became a full time mom. Then she wanted a bigger house. Then the financial crisis came. Then they lost absolutely everything. A few days ago he celebrated his 50th anniversary…living with his in-laws.
I am going to give you the advice I am not allowed to give my brother (his wife don’t let him talk to me alone because of my bad influence): Lay down the law with your current gf. No threats, no talks, just the next time she does something stupid walk away for a week, disappear completely, 100%, then come back. Don’t even let her insult your intelligence by pretending she does not know why you are leaving.
Do not pick up her calls, do not answer her emails. If she calls your office, hang up. Do not talk to her period. No matter what. If she says that she wants to break up let her bluff, and if she is not bluffing then good riddance.
And a week later come back and ask her if she has any questions and whether she wishes to continue the relations~~~. She will be angry, so tell her that you will NOT accept her behavior, specially shouting or crying. If she cries, you are out. She will cry, mind you, because this is how they are. Then you tell her that you are going to disappear for 2 more weeks, so she has time to think.
Two weeks later she will be soft like a pussycat. Or else…good riddance.
Anonymous12I’ve only started to grow a pair in the last 2 months. Will see!
You are on the right track and in the right place.
Welcome!
Welcome as you are 24 or 42. does not matter.
You are a man, you observe and have had about enough.
It is not good news, yet good enough for the moment.Sit with us and enjoy the beer.
Lay down the law with your current gf. No threats, no talks, just the next time she does something stupid walk away for a week
Am certain I won’t have to wait long for next time! When it happens this is exactly what I intend to do.
3) The days of sex and blowjobs are limited. It’s been used to draw me in, it’s just a tool she uses to get me to commit. Without exception, every time a girl had me where she wanted I became the one initiating sex, she became lazy in bed and blowjobs were a thing of the past. My current girlfriend now sees sex as some kind of treat for good behavior. Like I’m a lapdog looking for a Scooby Snack for running around after her. I’ve told her ‘no thanks’ so we’ll see how that goes!
—————————————————-This…always and always is the case.
Relationships is like living in the swamps of hell.
IMHO, the measure of our spiritual power and awakening is to DRAIN THE SWAMP and keep it drained.
Anonymous1in ref to point 1: my most blue pill friend (seriously sky blue) is now married to a girl who is sometimes emotionally abusive (and throws things and does playful slaps in public so i wouldnt be surprised if she physyically abuses too). When they were first dating I remember him telling me that her ex used to hit her – and here’s the shocker – AND HE COULD UNDERSTAND WHY.
THIS IS A GUY WHO WORKS IN 24 HOUR CARE AND IS ONE OF THE NICEST AND MOST SELFLESS PEOPLE YOU’LL MEET. HE WOULDN’T HURT A FLY UNLESS IT WAS TO DEFEND SOMEONE HE CARED ABOUT, AND HE CAN SEE WHY HER EX HIT HER??? HOW BAD DOES SHE HAVE TO BE!?Am certain I won’t have to wait long for next time! When it happens this is exactly what I intend to do.
My man…someone is going to show someone what a proper Brexit looks like 🙂
Remember, the ONLY way this works is if you truly, 100%, commit not to talk to her for the whole week.
Because she will contact you, fishing for attention, specially asking “why you don’t talk to me?” or “what happened?”. If you EVER answer her during that week, your b~~~~ go right back at her purse.
And please, do tell us when it happens with all the juicy details.
Cheers!
Mark.
Anonymous1Your gut is nothing more than common sense + experience. Our so-called “culture” overrides common sense, re-program our otherwise well tuned instincts, and make us act like idiots. Case in point: Buying diamonds.
interestingly, there are 100 million brain cells in our gut. as many as are in a cat’s brain. our stomach literally thinks and controls how we feel (especially creation of certain hormones)
which is why we get a ‘gut feeling’ that tells us to do something or not – and quite possibly why women spread their legs when a suitably “high value” male puts the moves on her. whether she’s in a relationship or notWhen they were first dating I remember him telling me that her ex used to hit her – and here’s the shocker – AND HE COULD UNDERSTAND WHY.
My ex-wife told me the same sort of stories about her ex. She turned out to be very aggressive and abusive herself. Mostly verbal stuff. She tried to hit me a few times, more to get me to hit back to force me out of my own house around the time of our divorce. To think I accepted that, so young, stupid, and scared of losing my child and home (I bought it before I even met her).
Very pleased that (a) I didn’t hit her and (b) I have full custody (c) She’s no longer my problem.
Very pleased that (a) I didn’t hit her and (b) I have full custody (c) She’s no longer my problem
Actually, in the correct order:
Very pleased that (a) I have full custody (b) She’s no longer my problem (c) I didn’t hit her
🙂
This is exactly why you want to avoid relationships. Once time passes and they get comfortable and know that they have you committed and you ain’t going nowhere, the following will start happening:
Sex starts to diminish, her initiating sex drops dramatically, she starts nagging and complaining, starts demanding more of your time/energy/efforts, she starts to control the relationship, tries to make all the decisions and rule you, starts planning your weekends with her plans in mind and you become the guy that has to run around and look handsome for all her social gatherings. She’ll start to change your dress style…the list is never ending.
Marriage and relationships are a woman’s domain NOT a mans. They all want to trap us into commitment.
I’ve realized after 2-3 years men and women both want something different. By getting into a long term relationship you’re sabotaging all the potential honeymoon periods/emotional highs, enhanced libido that you get when you engage with brand new women.
Why would you stay with one woman who will eventually turn into a sex depriving nagging domineering c~~~, to miss out on the excitement a new woman brings, who will crave you sexually, can’t wait to suck your dick in the shower, and cook you homemade hot meals?
Bottom line, enjoy women! Just don’t commit to them like a bitch.
“My current girlfriend now sees sex as some kind of treat for good behavior. Like I’m a lapdog looking for a Scooby Snack”
Dump that Bitch today…Not tommorow…If you want to try a sit down..Tell her it’s my way or the highway…Does she make more money than you?..Have you ever asked yourself what is she bringing to the table?..We have been conditioned not to do this…Does she pay bills?…What is her resources..Does she even have good Character traits?..If not Dump that Bitch today..
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