Reddit Archive Classic: "Let's Open Our Relationship"

[KingOfTheSeaParticipant 1270]

So, I stumbled on this today and pretty much laughed my ass off at the irony. The TL; DR version is a 24 y/o girl is travelling and wants to ride the c~~~ carousal, so she tells her boyfriend she wants an “open” relationship, which backfires when he starts having regular sex with a new girl. Here’s the text, and here is the original thread in case you want a good laugh.

Long live MGTOW, long live the Red Pill.

Im pretty f~~~ing upset rigth now , Im going to do my best to explain everything thats happened.
Ive had an extended holiday (3 months) planned with my best friend (Tory) for years. We have always talked about it and my boyfriend (Daniel) knew we were going to do it. She finally finished college this December and we put our plan into action.
Another friend (Michelle) went on a similar trip years ago. She and her friend both had longterm boyfriends at the time, and they both ended up cheating on the trip. A while later their friendship fell apart, and they both revealed each others infidelity. It got ugly. Michelle and her boyfriend broke up, her (ex)friend stayed with her boyfriend but from the sounds of it their relationship was severely damaged.
At first i thought they were absolutely horrible for doing it, but after talking to her i could see their side of things – months of no sexual contact/release, being in a party atmosphere, of course there would be temptation. She’s young, attractive and gets lots of male attention. The encounter was purely sexual, she was drunk, and they used protection. The next day the boy was out of her life completely and that was it. I vehementely disagreed with doing all this behind her boyfriends back though.
Talking with Michelle about a month ago, she asked what im going to do about Daniel. I honestly hadnt thought about it like that, i felt like i could easily go 3 months without having sex. And id never want to betray Daniel’s trust. But Michelle made a good case for ‘opening’ our relationship while i was away – she said (paraphrasing): “Of course you love Daniel. But traveling is about experiencing new things, and that includes sex. Youll say it wont happen now, but you just have to trust me that once youre their youll feel different. Daniel is going to wonder either way if youre f~~~ing other guys on your trip. Just be upfront with him and see what he says.”
And so that night i talked to him about it. I explained that i wasnt going to be looking to f~~~ every guy i see that im attracted to, and that my love for him was as strong as ever, but i also wanted to be able act freely and party like other girls my age. It was more contingency if anything – i dont plan on f~~~ing other guys, but if it happens it happens. A nigth of partying half the world away with people ill never see again shouldnt ruin what we had here. Id insist on using protection. And of course he would have the same opportunity as me, he would be able to freely see girls if he chose to. He wasnt happy, but said he understood. He said “Youve tied my hands. If i tell you i forbid it, ill still be worried if youre being true to your word. By expressing that this is what you want, theres nothing i can do to stop you”.
Daniels a bit of a homebody – he goes out with his friends on occassion, but most nights he spends in our apartment playing video games or watching netflix. Given his lifestyle i wasnt overly worried hed be hooking up with all these random girls.
Me and Tory left on February 17. Its been eye-opening and a ton of fun. But its also been stressful. We havent done any partying, we talked to some guys one night but nothing came of it. Tonight i checked my email at an internet cafe and there was a message from Kay, a sweet old lady who lives above us in our apartment complex.
“”I have debated for days whether to send this to you and potentially ruin your vacation. But you deserve to know the truth. Daniel has been seeing another woman since you left. There is no doubt that he is seeing her, she has come over most nights and I have heard them being intimate. You deserve so much better. I’m so sorry.””
I thought i could handle this open relationship arrangement. I cant. This message shattered my heart into a million pieces. This isnt what i intended at all, i wanted the freedom to act in the moment. He is taking this as a free pass to regularly f~~~ some girl. And i have a feeling i know exactly who it is, a girl from his work who was always overly flirty with him.
I regret ever taking Michelles advice and opening my stupid mouth. I dont want him to f~~~ other girls, i dont want to f~~~ other guys. I want this slut out of my apartment NOW!!! I am a f~~~ing wreck and need other womens opinions. Tory has been so unhelpful, basically telling me to grow up and that i got what i asked for. No s~~~?! People arent allowed to change their minds or regret their decisions?!
How do I go about contacting him and expressing that this needs to stop NOW without coming across like a crazy hypocritical bitch? And let him know that i will be 100% faithful on my trip? I dont even know how i am going to look at him when i get home. I am beyond hurt, this feels so wrong and so sick.
I am going to bed now to try and get some sleep, i will check and respond to all comments tomorrow morning. Thank you 🙁
EDIT: guys, seriously stop it. I know i f~~~ed up, i brought it all on myself. Kicking me while im down isnt helping. Im not asking for your opinion on my stupid selfish decision, im asking the best way to approach this and fix it.
Tory says i should email him saying “what i said before about opening our relationship was a mistake. I havent slept with anyone here and i dont want to. Youre my parter and i dont want to compromise what we have. Please be faithful as I will be to you. I love you.” Simply dont tell him about Kay’s email or that i know there’s another woman. Thoughts?

[Anonymous 3]

You know, I experienced something that is almost identical to this. Girlfriend was going away for a short vacation and said the same thing basically, “if it happens, it happens”. I reacted similarly. I said “Well, you control what you do. Whatever you end up doing, it’s on you.” I tried to sound reasonable, but deep down, my blood was boiling.

I couldn’t believe she could be that inconsiderate. I loved her to death and never in a million years would I do or say something like that to her. It was a sign that she was full of it and my love wasn’t being reciprocated, so I decided to destroy her. A couple days in, I called her and told her about what I’ve been doing, how I have so and so in bed, are having a good time, and how is her day going.

Her reaction was exactly like the text you posted.

And this is the thing about women. You have to be merciless and burn them on a stake. It’s the only way to survive. But naturally, I dislike being ruthless and hurtful to other people, deep down, I’m sucker for emotional manipulation. Now I just stay away altogether.

[bigboy83Participant 11312]

The only way c~~~s learn, is the hard way. And thats still 50/50.

Shit Tested, Cunt Approved.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

I wrote a post about this very thing not too long ago “Polyamorous and P~~~ed” where the woman was getting all the dick she could take from multiple dudes over the course of five years and then went to pieces when her cuck husband finally bagged a younger and hotter girl and did her right in their own bed.

Miles of c~~~ for her without him ever saying a word about it and she still had the temerity to cry and pitch a fit and threaten to end the relationship over him getting one night of strange.

Women are completely full of s~~~. You can not believe a single thing any of them tell you. The only way to have an effective encounter with a woman is to treat her like a six year old retard: smile and nod at whatever she says and then get the hell out of there as quickly as possible.

[Anonymous 3]

Haha well there are a couple of things to this.

First is don’t believe everything you read online. There’s a pretty solid chance it’s a troll post, even written by a guy. Note I didn’t say it is, just saying a possibility.

But let’s put that to the side, and treat it as the truth, because that makes it funnier to discuss.

Like most women, she of course rates herself as a 7+. I have in my life never actually met a woman that said she is below that. They are all 7s, and that means they are all “hot”. In a woman’s mind, she begrudgingly admits there is a tiny minority of women above her, whom she naturally hates, but she insists she is better than everyone else, and then justifies it by sticking herself in the top 30%, realistically she thinks she’s top 20%, even top 10%, but she’s being “humble” by stating she might only be top 30%.

Now of course the man she is with, average or worse. Really, he’s a loser. She’s sure he’s a loser and she’s granting him the golden vagina, and without her no woman would consider him, certainly not an attractive woman. This is true even if she is a landwhale with a s~~~ty attitude, no career, and the intelligence of a gerbil. This is how they think.

Since she thinks this way, the idea that a man could get a woman of equal or better quality than her doesn’t ever register. In her own world, she is the queen, with a loser servant that can not exist without her.

When reality does come up, suddenly she feels threatened and subconsciously the feelings show up realizing how replaceable she is, and that she hadn’t actually secured the lifelong slavery she thought she had from her servant. Turns out he found another queen, and moved out of the palace and now she needs to figure out how to sucker another servant in, but she knows it’s hard and takes time to train a servant, and in fact she was used to that servant and maybe he really wasn’t that much of a loser.

Pussy beggars are chumps and wimps, and no society can be run this way with women making these types of decisions and society pretending men have to accept it. When you don’t punish open infidelity, men lose trust in the system and leave. It takes awhile, but one sided exploitation really doesn’t work very well if you need to build a society where people follow rules and work together for something. Civilization is people agreeing to a set of rules so things run smoothly. The opposite is people doing whatever they want and returning to a primal state.

When people see this type of thing, word gets around, and they remember. Especially when broader society condones it, praises it, and insulates women from any consequences and even refuses to admit it. This type of thing promotes MGTOW. Personally I think the elites want to lower the population, and hence why they created this environment, but others swear in fact they want a higher birth rate. Well I can assure you, promoting female promiscuity will never increase the population.

[Bestieboy666Participant 2358]

Simply put its just self absorbed narcissism. In her mind the boyfriend wouldn’t possibly cheat, because she believes he is overpowered by her perfectness and couldn’t possibly want anyone else. It’s a disease very prevalent in most women nowadays.
Their overwhelming selfishness is disgusting. I see it every day, all day.
If she had made that proposal to me I would have told her to f~~~ off on the spot.

Women are so bad, if they changed the law so I kept the house, I still wouldn't marry one. I'd rather be homeless.

[Cap285Participant 6007]

She wants to be a sperm receptacle for years and will expect a guy to marry her and be loyal when the Wall hits.

Business as usual.

Move along.

Fuck this planet.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

“Let’s have an open relationship.” means “I’m bored and want new c~~~ and you’re going to sit there quietly while I get as much as I can take… but if you so much as look at another woman, I’ll make sure you regret it.”

You can’t get loyalty under the best conditions and you certainly aren’t going to get it when “your” woman is hungry for strange dick. She’ll smile and bat her eyes and tell you she loves you then just do whatever she wants, lie about it and make you believe it’s your fault.

There’s no way to win so there’s no point in fighting it. Just get what you want as quickly as you can and get out.

[AwakenedParticipant 35200]

Regardless of the topic, Women only believe that things are “fair” when it BENEFITS THEM !!

Lil princess thought that she would have her man “waiting at home” while she sucked and f~~~ed her way around, but suddenly it’s a “problem” when he does EXACTLY what she proposed.

A lil one sided, maybe ?

Of course it’s one sided, that’s the way women go through life !!

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[TaxGuyParticipant]

let’s open our relationship
ok. In fact, let’s open it SO far up that we never talk to each other again. Open enough for you?

Order the good wine

[Dark KenshiParticipant 2132]

Well… Just another day at the office, right?

She wants to do whatever the hell she wants WITHOUT ACCOUNTABILITY.

Flashing news: SHE CAN’T.

Now, endure it, sweetheart! You got what you asked for, now deal with the consequences of your choices.

"Young was I once, I walked alone, and bewildered seemed in the way; then I found me another and rich I thought me, for man is the joy of man." Odin, Hàvamàl, stanza 47.

[BadgerParticipant 2277]

TaxGuy wrote:

let’s open our relationship
ok. In fact, let’s open it SO far up that we never talk to each other again. Open enough for you?

That’s the best response when it is first proposed.

[XSDBSParticipant 3598]

KingOfTheSea wrote:

she tells her boyfriend she wants an “open” relationship

At this point, she’s already f~~~ing other guys, so there are two options.

Option 1:
End the “relationship”, and end any/all communication/interaction with her.

Option 2:
She is now a booty call, SHE calls YOU only when she wants sex

[HitmanParticipant]

open relationship…
oxymoron no ?
.
f~~~ that s~~~.
1 strike and she’s out.
no second chances ever.

[thisistheguy123Participant 2063]

Haha, hilarious…Good for that guy.

He didn’t give a s~~~, because she pretended not to give a s~~~ until she heard of his s~~~

She can ride the c~~~ carousel all she wants..Meanwhile he is looking to have fun with just one woman.

Regardless of if this is a troll post of not, I do think most women would react this way.

It’s totally okay for me (her), but not okay for you!

Double standards at its finest, which is all we have today

[AttonParticipant]

A relations~~~ without monogamy isn’t a real relations~~~. If she wants to ride c~~~ then that her choice and f~~~ing someone else is his.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[AwakenedParticipant 35200]

Atton wrote:

A relations~~~ without monogamy isn’t a real relations~~~.

Maybe, it could be better ?? Nothing to great about “traditional” relations~~~s ?

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[narwhalParticipant]

What I find interesting is that it didn’t take much thought for her to realize this was going to backfire on her. She already knew that there was another woman who wanted to sleep with her BF, and she unwittingly gave her blessing on him getting together with her.

More importantly though, the second she tells you she wants to do something…anything with another man and she doesn’t want you there…move on. There is no need to define it as cheating or not. It’s not a negotiation, it simply is done.

My ex did this to me when were married. She wanted to take a weekend in Dallas to visit some male friends of hers, and didn’t want me to come with her. I don’t think she slept with anyone or did anything that she couldn’t defend, but simply going was really all that was needed. If I wasn’t so messed in the head at the time, I would have told her divorce papers would be ready for her to sign upon return.

Ok. Then do it.

[KingOfTheSeaParticipant 1270]

The most interesting part, possibly, was something one of the comments said about how on Earth she could possibly misconstrue “You’ve tied my hands” to “Yes, let’s do this”.

I swear, they just hear what they want to hear.

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

Anonymous wrote:

I’m sucker for emotional manipulation. Now I just stay away altogether.

That was/is? my weakest link in my chain, for most of my life. My defense walls & mechanisms or alarms go off, when it is under siege…

I am constantly having to tweak it & recalibrate accordingly.

[Author]

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