Red Pill or Red Enema? (repost, sry I'm still noob here)

[AlexanderParticipant 5]

Hi Guys!

I live in Germany and am now 35 and getting divorced with one custody dispute pending for my small daughter. I will try make things as short as possible.

After the usual way through university with girlfriends and casual encounters every now and then I started to long for “something more meaningful” since I was raised by a traditional mother (of Greek origin) who instilled strong family values in me (which is good for the time and place she came from but not for today’s world).

So I started to actively look for a woman that I could imagine building a future with, based on equal contributions and mutual respect. Writing these lines with the knowledge I have today it feels hard for me not to laugh about myself.

So I met a woman on campus who had been working her way through university as well, was financially independent and seemed to have “drive” and energy and hence I thought: wow, that is the one. And truly, I must admit that back than you would have never guessed that the story would take such a bad turn, but turning out badly it did.

The first year we moved in together and apart from minor disputes all seemed to work out quite well. After a year of living together we registered our marriage and from then on things started to go downhill. At first very slow, then faster and faster the longer the marriage lasted. To cut a long story short: I was a captive of a “misandry treadmill”, being confronted with ever higher demands as she opted more and more out of work until she stopped working at some point (“I cannot take the stress, I need a break”) while I busted my ass 50 or 60 hours a week out there (not counting the daily commute) to make ends meet despite my high salary (worked as an HR consultant).

Later my ex-wife told me that she having troubles to reintegrate into the workforce because nobody would take her application seriously (“I feel discrimanted” “everybody thinks that I am getting pregnant tomorrow and will go on maternity leave” etc etc etc). Which meant that I had to work more and more and even accept riskier and less secure jobs for a higher income to be able to provide a decent livingstandard (for her, I had none).

All in all the marriage was like a vicious cycle of emotional abuse, demands, (empty) promises of betterment and times of relative peace (I underline the word relative). But thinking, that it was the only right and adult thing to do I kept on and on and on.

After she failed at launching her own business (with my massive help and contacts – which were then burned after her failure) we thought that we might as well have children right now (I thought that at least I am getting something back for all this bothering). So we had a child together which was born in July 2013. During that time I had lost my (unsecure) job due to personal differences with my manager (and because I felt burned out), but I was at home and took care of our baby daughter. My exwife felt bad after the birth and so I did everything alone apart from breastfeeding (best time of my life). I must say that during the pregnancy my ex became totally nuts. She became continuously offensive and aggresive and at times violent (first against things then against me). I did not do anything (what should I do? hit a pregnant woman?). I sucked it up, there was no help anyway (no shelters for men in Germany, not even a hotline). When she felt bad after birth she lacked the strength to continue her abuse and things seemed to calmed down, at least I hoped so. While my lawsuit against my former employer (for severance) was still pending I told her after two months that I need one or two days off from childcare to prepare my case. During this time my baby-daughter got bad diarrhea (for those who do not know, diarrhea is extremely dangerous for small infants, they can die from it after one to two days). The next day I resumed my childcare duty (the best thing a man can do) and found out during my daily check that my daughter already had signs of dehydration. I asked my ex for how long this diarrhea has been around and she just shrugged and asked me if it was so bad. I insisted that we go to see a doctor and it turned out that my daughter lost 10% of her weight already! We had to rush to the hospital and immediately get her on an infusion.

The following week was a big drama, my daughter was in a critical stage and eventually survived without any damage (the good news). During this stay my ex freaked out completely and started hurl all sorts of insults at me ( I do not even know why, if it was anybody’s fault it was hers since she did report the diarrhea to me when she took care of my child). When I came home to check the mail I saw that our account had been plundered and later I politely but sincerly confronted her with this. She became violent again and when her provocations did not result in me snapping and hitting back, she suddenly pressed the alarm button for the nurse. When the nurse came in she told the nurse that I had been “aggressive” and that this “harms the child” . The nurse, another woman, immediately turned on me and told me to leave now if I want to avoid getting arrested by the police. What choice did I have? I tried to tell that it was in fact the other way around, but a woman’s word is gold in this society ( and women know it).

During this time where I was effectively banned from the hospital I only returned three times (always with a witness) just to see my child. I also contacted the child protective service and asked them, no begged them, for help but they did not lift a finger. They told me to go to the courts. WTF…I need help back then and immedeately! Of course what happened was that I was not informed that my daughter was fully recovered and ready for release and my ex took her and went to a women’s shelter. I had to look for her via the police who told me that I must not search neither wife nor daughter or I will be arrested. We both went to the court and while I brought the testimonies of the witnesses that had come with me to the hospital (in total 4 testimonies backing my version) my ex only had her version and no other source confirming it (not even the hospital – because I did nothing). But for the courts she had expressed the right buzz words. I was according to her version “aggressive” and “needed help”. There was not even a description of what I had supposedly done wrong, nor were any charges pressed (there was not even enough substance for false charges). I went through 8 months without seeing the daughter that I had been with 24/7  for 2 months since her birth. The court ignored everything I said and only after more than half a year did I get supervised visitation (2 hours a week). In court the judge (another woman) asked me: what do you as a man want with the child? WTF…I was baffled…so this is the equality under the law we get to “enjoy”. I started to do research, connect with men in similar situations, tried to learn from other experiences, went over statistics of marriage and divorce (and I asked myself why I haven’t done so before making the decision to get married). During the 8 months of torture I fell into a real deep depression. Everytime I saw a pram or a playing ground I broke out in tears, everytime I saw anything that reminded me of my child I broke out in tears and at one night I seriously considered to go to the next train station and just make it end. On top of this the courts granted the exwife to get the house, which meant that I was about to become homeless. So there I was: stripped of job, home and child.

During my research in forums and other places on the internet I stumbled across the term “red pill”. I googled it and ended up with MGTOW on youtube. Besides my family and friends, who know me and know my story and support me, it was indeed MGTOW insights that helped me to recover and to understand what happened. The youtube channels of Barbarossa, Stardusk, Speznas and the likes gave me understanding about what had happened and how my ex could have been so cruel and backstabbing. Until then I was chasing my tail, asking myself what I might have done wrong, but I could not find anything. Then I understood. I was only good as long as I earned double the average income and had no demands. When I lost my job my value declined sharply and once I confronted my wife with her fraud and money theft she took every measure to get rid of me. Nothing special, just normal hypergamy. I could have been anybody else to her. Later I found out that this all had been carefully planned. The money ended up with her mother (whom I also had helped).

Things started to turn for better quite recently. I am about to maybe get a decently paid job with 30 hours per week so I can take care of my daughter. Also the women who organized the supervised visitation have stated in their report that not just I did very well and reconnected with my child almost immediately and seamlessly after such a long time of separation but that my ex displayed aggresive tone and behavior and that she is properly bringing the child up and fails to set normal and healthy boundaries. Maybe, I am saying this with care, but maybe I might luck out after having lost more than a year of my life ( or rather 8 including the marriage) and get custody of my child. I plan to raise it alone. The mother will be granted generous visitation and there will even be an open door policy so she can come and see her. But with the first sign of manipulation or abuse I will take her to the courts. My guess is that once I get custody and the child does not come anymore with benefits my ex’s interest in it will drop anyway as it did with me. And I would not be angry about it and rather embrace it after all she did. We two are better off without her honestly.

I will never remarry and cannot even imagine living with a woman together again. The only women I want in my life and my home are my daughter and my old mother who was always there for me. Maybe also my sister, but that’s about it. I do not need another woman. Love I get from my blood. Everytime my daughter sees me  she explodes with joy and jumps on me and stays for almost all the entire two hours on my arm. Together we learn and discover so many things: how to open doors, how to climb, how open and close things etc. What else do I need?

If I want love I have my daughter. Motherly affection and a good meal comes from my mother (I also cook myself very well). Gossiping about people I can with my sister. Living in Germany means that the occasional blowjob is just 20 minutes away and costs less than 3 c~~~tails (no pun intended). I have many friends and even my father (my parents were divorced as well) back in my life, so once I get my daughter home and a new part-time job to raise her with the help of my family and daycare all will be well.

I learned one thing: you can cry, you can p~~~ your pants and scream for help, but you will never give up no matter how much it hurts. I also learned about how women see men and that the juice is not worth the squeeze. With my income I could have easily paid for surrogacy and an au-pair to help me. In case I will stabilize financially again it is the only way that I will conceive children. I do not need a “mother” around. I can do it all by myself and have proven it.

[DazzleParticipant 67]

Alexander, you are Great! What you have been through is almost unbelievable, but there are many stories I have read here with much the same heart breaking theme. It’s just great to see such strength of character and I wish you well

[AlexanderParticipant 5]

Thanks mate! BTW this afternoon ( it is now evening in Germany) I got a verbal offer for job with a very good salary (almost back at old levels!)…with a part time option in case my child comes to me! As I said…you can cry mama, p~~~ your pants but you accomplish the mission…this is one step in the right direction, but god forbid I do not want any women in my life again after all the inhumane s~~~ I have been through. I needed one year of solace and loneliness to mentally recover and MGTOW was at least 50% that helped me. The red pill was less of an awakening (that was done by my ex) but it was a medication of healing. I am grateful for the MGTOW community being around and giving us guidance and sanity and rationality again.

[Anonymous 0]

Hi Alexander,

very good to have you here, another guy from Germany just like me. I agree with the reply of Dazzle.

I never was married, I denied this kind of Institution since I was able to think, growing up in a five women household with four self proclaimed femi-sisters.

So marriage and the rest was never an option for me.

Which part of Germany you are living ? After living in several cities here in the western part of Germany I am now living in my adopted home City Hamburg.

I wish you all the best luck for your job offer.

CHEERS !!!

[DazzleParticipant 67]

You’re not far away from me, I’m just off the French coast. Been on this site a few weeks now and you’re right it’s been a god send to me too. It has put everything into perspective and helped me move on from the constant question I had, “Why did she do this to me”. The trouble is I’m becoming obsessed with the whole thing! I’m constantly reading, watching vids  and learning just how deep this crap goes, so much so it’s turning me into a real angry bastard! I’ve now got zero tolerance for women’s BS, and now my eyes have been opened I am hearing it everywhere! My friends and family have noticed and are starting to ask what’s got into me, but  I can’t tell them. It’s like the rules of Fight Club, “You don’t talk about fight club” lol

[AlexanderParticipant 5]

Thanks Hollowmile! You can consider yourself “lucky” for the lack of a better term that your sisters prevented you from getting married!

I live in Frankfurt am Main. I hope that I can close the deal before the weekend in writing and then send it to the courts to pressure them further to give me custody and not an abusive and alienating liar. As man you got to have a job before being remotely considered to get custody of your own child. As a woman it does not matter what you did or do, a vagina is enough for the presumption of “motherhood”. Today at least they told me verbally that the case it through and I will get an offer (we also discussed the salary already). So lets hope it works. The part-time option is of course the crown-jewel in this case because I know that my lazy ex will never get such a good offer and hence will never be able to provide for my child in the same way I will.

And again, thank you all guys for the community! We men need to talk and think more about us and our privat relations. Talking about business and politics is all interesting and nice but we tend to forget ourselves very often. We all have ideas for grand policy making and big business, but often we do not even know who the woman really is that sleeps next to us. People show their true face often only under extraordinary circumstances. You can live with a person and never really know who she is.

[AlexanderParticipant 5]

Haha, I know what you mean Dazzle! Funny enough, my own mother is now even more radical than I am when it comes to women. After all she cannot see her granddaughter and what is the reason for that?

I think we should go out and be more offensive and openly talk about MGTOW, hypergamy, divorce and all that! At the beginning people will be irritated but when you stay on the side of arguments and back up your statements with statistics people tend to understand.

About the anger, yes, I am angry and have lots of reason to be. But not just women or even my ex. The state and courts that permit all this behavior. The society and socially relevant groups such as churches, human rights organizations and political parties that remain silent in the face of male discrimination.

But first and foremost I am angry with men! Yes, all this happens becaus men enable it and support it. No fault divorce was not created by feminists. It was first introduced in California in the late 1960s by the young governor Ronald Reagan! Yes, a conservative and surely non-feminist politician has implemented this law and then even lobbied to export it! In Germany it was Helmut Schmidt who copy-pasted the whole system from the US. But even later the legislation was never revised.

The majority of members of legislation and government in the western world are men. Let us never forget this! And they do never have a problem to pass laws behind the back of the people but when it comes to women they suddenly grant them every wish.

Also men in general are not a reliable support group. Instead of organizing and pursuing identity politics such as women do, men do nothing. We have an army of male divorcees in every single western country and where are they? Crickets!

But the younger generations are more open for new ideas. Mind you, feminism did not motivate 60 old female pensioneers. It appealed to young women.

So will MGTOW appeal to young men!

 

[Anonymous 0]

Ah, best regards to Hessen. I’ve been living for several years in Kassel while is was at the University studying electrical and electronics. engeneering. I hate(d) this City, too much feminists, very strange City. But the south of Hessen is different to the northern part.

[AlexanderParticipant 5]

Yes, Frankfurt is less feminism but more classical golddiggers…all the bankers, managers, consultants etc. … it is golddigger central! women from all over the world come here in search of a male ATM…everytime I wear my expensive suit, tie and watch I get attention from all sorts of women.

Everytime I wear my jeans they ignore me LOL

At least now I know what is at work and laugh about it.

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