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Bestoftherest 4 years, 6 months ago.
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Apologies in advance for the long windedness.
So last night, I went out with a buddy who I am taking under my wing a bit as he is in his early twenties (I am 31) and hopefully giving him a bit of self esteem as a mentor, as well as teaching him of MGTOW and red pill philosophy, etc. When his girlfriend left him a few months ago (won’t go into circumstances) most of his friends basically did very little to “pick him up” emotionally. It was at this point we were around a house “pre drinking” before going into town and everyone was being fairly boring and decided they didn’t want to go out in the end – this young lad was basically ignored. So I told him “we are going out” and I basically bought him his drinks and provided a shoulder to cry on / opportunity to speak about the situation and I passed on my experience and wisdom to him.
So anyway, several months on and we come to last night. Went to one of the larger bars in town to start. We queued up and I could hear behind me some girl was pretty much pushing her way through the queue – physically but also emotionally by thrusting her t~~~ and apparent “pretty” face about. So, I am at the bar close to getting served next and I pretty much stone-wall her. She gets to me and says “I can get you served quicker.” I pretty much ignore her. Then she turned to my buddy and went through a whole repertoire of “manipulation” techniques:
“You look like a nice guy, not like your RUDE friend blocking the bar there…”
“Is your RUDE friend the leader of your group?”
“Do you have a girlfriend? You seem like the sort of guy that would be kind to a girl.”
After that, my buddy responded “I don’t want a girlfriend – they are too much hard work for little reward.”
Inside, I am grinning and feeling proud of him – he had the moral courage to stand up for himself. She replies:
“Oh, well, doesn’t matter because I have a boyfriend of 2 years and I don’t really care what I say because it doesn’t matter.”
After that, she basically started being verbally abusive and I just laughed. Not ONCE did I even look at her. My friend told me after that apparently, he could see the “hamster wheel” spinning when she couldn’t work out why I was ignoring her and how her attempts were failing – her resorting to pushing RIGHT next to me as soon as the guy next to me got served.
I had my drinks served and then, once I paid for them, I told the bartender “that chap there was after me and has been queuing as long as I have.”
This girl went into RAGEMODE. I can’t remember the exact expletives, but the last thing I heard was her telling her girlfriends “I will make sure he gets picked up by the police later tonight.” Followed by her nudging into me.
So, me and my friend moved off and of course, debriefed the whole interaction – the self entitlement of this silly girl was outrageous and this sort of behaviour reinforces my MGTOW ways. However, this is where the “sad” bit comes in.
This morning I wake up and feel a mixture of emotions. A remnant of blue-pillism made me wonder if I was really being a rude bastard and just trying to prove a point, the red pill dose reinforced how ridiculous some women are and that not being “manipulated” by her was a good thing (for me at least.) I am also annoyed, however, that this sort of behaviour is much more commonplace in the world.
My “natural” instinct, as I imagine many of us here have, is one of seeking companionship with the opposite sex. The idea of it is fantastic, but with so many s~~~ women around, the prospects are just woeful. I feel sorry for that girls boyfriend for putting up with her for two years. I wouldn’t tolerate that sort of behaviour.
My logical side sees the reality of the world and is (mostly) my dominant psyche aspect. The logic of “women have very little to offer me in a relationship” battles the emotional (and biological) desire for QUALITY companionship. Right now, MGTOW is saving my sanity, bank account and maintains my freedom, but it’s also feeling a bit lonely. Such a shame that relationships can’t be free of drama and bollocks and just be filled with good times.
Does anyone else have this internal “conflict” – they are dominantly MGTOW but, deep down there is that gnawing desire for quality companionship?
I look forward to hearing others thoughts and experiences.
Marriage? No thanks, i'm not ready to be THAT miserable.
Sometimes I think it’d be nice to find a girlfriend, then I look around and go on a few dates and realize I was being stupid again. The 1% of your time you are going to spend having sex with her isn’t worth the other 99% of the time you are going to wish you didn’t have to deal with her s~~~. Once you go red pill and realize the reality of dating/relationships in America you’ll will quickly find any dating/relationship scenario you work yourself into is pretty much less preferable for the long haul than just staying single.
Sometimes I think it’d be nice to find a girlfriend, then I look around and go on a few dates and realize I was being stupid again.
That’s pretty much my sentiment also – my logic knows this, it’s just a shame that the biology and natural instinct rears its ugly head sometimes.
Marriage? No thanks, i'm not ready to be THAT miserable.
That’s pretty much my sentiment also – my logic knows this, it’s just a shame that the biology and natural instinct rears its ugly head sometimes.
hehe, yep. Happens to me sometimes aswell.
And at the same time, that same biology gave you the means to think. Don’t be miserable over it, accept the dual nature of how you think, even when its so polar. It’s natural.
Think and define yourself.
Think about the day you had. Go to bed and the next day, live again.
You will be alright. We are not the first or last thinking people, with everything good and ugly what comes out of it 🙂
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I understand the struggle. However, I have yet to have blue pill relapses or creeping white knight tendencies. Im honestly too inside my own head a lot to really be sensitive to a woman’s needs. It’s not that I don’t care it’s that I don’t usually have the energy or desire to care about what some female stranger is doing. If I revealed this truth to my friends and family they would call me the most selfish human being alive and rightfully so. It’s just how im wired.some people just naturally have more empathy for women than others. I accept this about myself and thus don’t have a blue pill struggle. This likely will not change in the future.
I have discovered a truly remarkable list of reasons why women are not necessary for a happy life, but alas this margin is too small to contain it.
And at the same time, that same biology gave you the means to think. Don’t be miserable over it, accept the dual nature of how you think, even when its so polar. It’s natural.
Im honestly too inside my own head a lot to really be sensitive to a woman’s needs. It’s not that I don’t care it’s that I don’t usually have the energy or desire to care about what some female stranger is doing.
Interesting thoughts, guys. Thank you.
@fermat – In terms of myself, I would also say that 99% I am quite selfish and I am usually fine with that / accept that’s my nature. The tiny 1% occasional blip of blue pill thinking makes me think that I have lots to share. This then usually gets quelled with the generalised thought process of “most people are ungrateful when you share anyway, so I may as well not bother.”
Marriage? No thanks, i'm not ready to be THAT miserable.
I have my moments too but soon snap out of it.its risk and reward,dont want or need the hassle.keep busy and knock one off.ive been more lonely in a relationship than single.
Apologies in advance for the long windedness. So last night, I went out with a buddy who I am taking under my wing a bit as he is in his early twenties (I am 31) and hopefully giving him a bit of self esteem as a mentor, as well as teaching him of MGTOW and red pill philosophy, etc. When his girlfriend left him a few months ago (won’t go into circumstances) most of his friends basically did very little to “pick him up” emotionally. It was at this point we were around a house “pre drinking” before going into town and everyone was being fairly boring and decided they didn’t want to go out in the end – this young lad was basically ignored. So I told him “we are going out” and I basically bought him his drinks and provided a shoulder to cry on / opportunity to speak about the situation and I passed on my experience and wisdom to him. So anyway, several months on and we come to last night. Went to one of the larger bars in town to start. We queued up and I could hear behind me some girl was pretty much pushing her way through the queue – physically but also emotionally by thrusting her t~~~ and apparent “pretty” face about. So, I am at the bar close to getting served next and I pretty much stone-wall her. She gets to me and says “I can get you served quicker.” I pretty much ignore her. Then she turned to my buddy and went through a whole repertoire of “manipulation” techniques: “You look like a nice guy, not like your RUDE friend blocking the bar there…” “Is your RUDE friend the leader of your group?” “Do you have a girlfriend? You seem like the sort of guy that would be kind to a girl.” After that, my buddy responded “I don’t want a girlfriend – they are too much hard work for little reward.” Inside, I am grinning and feeling proud of him – he had the moral courage to stand up for himself. She replies: “Oh, well, doesn’t matter because I have a boyfriend of 2 years and I don’t really care what I say because it doesn’t matter.” After that, she basically started being verbally abusive and I just laughed. Not ONCE did I even look at her. My friend told me after that apparently, he could see the “hamster wheel” spinning when she couldn’t work out why I was ignoring her and how her attempts were failing – her resorting to pushing RIGHT next to me as soon as the guy next to me got served. I had my drinks served and then, once I paid for them, I told the bartender “that chap there was after me and has been queuing as long as I have.” This girl went into RAGEMODE. I can’t remember the exact expletives, but the last thing I heard was her telling her girlfriends “I will make sure he gets picked up by the police later tonight.” Followed by her nudging into me. So, me and my friend moved off and of course, debriefed the whole interaction – the self entitlement of this silly girl was outrageous and this sort of behaviour reinforces my MGTOW ways. However, this is where the “sad” bit comes in. This morning I wake up and feel a mixture of emotions. A remnant of blue-pillism made me wonder if I was really being a rude bastard and just trying to prove a point, the red pill dose reinforced how ridiculous some women are and that not being “manipulated” by her was a good thing (for me at least.) I am also annoyed, however, that this sort of behaviour is much more commonplace in the world. My “natural” instinct, as I imagine many of us here have, is one of seeking companionship with the opposite sex. The idea of it is fantastic, but with so many s~~~ women around, the prospects are just woeful. I feel sorry for that girls boyfriend for putting up with her for two years. I wouldn’t tolerate that sort of behaviour. My logical side sees the reality of the world and is (mostly) my dominant psyche aspect. The logic of “women have very little to offer me in a relationship” battles the emotional (and biological) desire for QUALITY companionship. Right now, MGTOW is saving my sanity, bank account and maintains my freedom, but it’s also feeling a bit lonely. Such a shame that relationships can’t be free of drama and bollocks and just be filled with good times. Does anyone else have this internal “conflict” – they are dominantly MGTOW but, deep down there is that gnawing desire for quality companionship? I look forward to hearing others thoughts and experiences.
Can you take me under your wing? It would be so awesome to have you as a mentor…the three of us could be MGTOW wingmen!
So you’re feeling bad about being rude to a woman that:
Tried to use you to push her way to the front of the line and then cussed you out when you didn’t play ball,
Tried to use your friend to the same end while cussing you out to him within earshot of you
Tried pulling the “do you want a girlfriend I have a boyfriend (assuming he even exists of course)” routine on said friend
Went apes~~~ and threatening to get you arrested (for what exactly) when you pointed out the next customer who’d had the decency to wait in line to the bartender over her.Personally I think you were very restrained in how you dealt with the self entitled little c~~~ and you certainly have nothing to be ashamed of.
Personally I feel a similar way to you, although I would not refer to what you’re experiencing as a conflict. Like yourself I would dearly love to meet one of these “strong, independent women” that feminism promised me while growing up. But I’ve yet to meet one and I doubt I ever will, in the meantime I refuse to let the dross that is on offer make me feel bad, between work, friends and hobbies I’ve too much going on in my life to ever feel lonely and I would rather live the rest of my life alone than settle for the self entitled little c~~~ you describe or anyone like her.
Hey @smad, I definitely understand the feeling you describe. I was once in a relationship that tore me up, and it literally took years before I was even willing to consider the possibility of opening up again. During those years I always had it in my mind that one day I would find the “quality companionship” you mention. I always felt like I had a lot to offer and that once I decided to open myself up it would be the start of a new phase in life – it was something I was looking forward to but I wanted to wait until I felt ready.
The thing is that during those years I grew up, a lot. I went from being 27-ish to 35-ish, from being “kinda on the right track” to being “successful”. During that time all I wanted to do was learn how to be myself. I wasn’t trying to meet someone, I wasn’t trying to impress women, I didn’t respond to the occasional flirtatious smile or touch, I just did my own thing.
When I eventually decided the time was right to meet someone I “put myself out there” and started dating, and absolutely hated how it made me feel. I just couldn’t be myself, and always felt like I had to put on an act on some level – most likely because the women I was meeting were also, obviously, putting on an act themselves.
So now I still have that deep-seated desire for companionship, and yes, it can feel a bit lonely at times. But I can tell you unequivocally that I felt worse when I was out there trying to “play the numbers” (the whole mindset and strategy involved is so unappealing to me) in order to find someone worth spending quality time with.
I’m doing some camping in a few weeks, and I just bought a Hennessy Hammock for the trip. I’m going to hop on my mountain bike now and take a ride through the woods and practice setting it up. It would be cool to have someone to share the planning and the trip itself with, but the experience is going to be great regardless. I’m just enjoying life, and not making companionship a precondition to that enjoyment. If I cross paths with someone eventually, so be it, but I’m done with “putting myself out there”. I’m done with wondering if there is any deeper meaning to life if only there was someone else around to share it all with.
Right now, MGTOW is saving my sanity, bank account and maintains my freedom, but it’s also feeling a bit lonely.
Same here, except long practice has taught me how to be alone without being lonely. Lonely is a temporary state of mind that wears off in a few hours. Money in the bank and sanity are pearls beyond price.
Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?
Anonymous1I understand what you are feeling. I have these feelings too.
You see, I am 33 years old now, and I never had a girlfriend. Part of it is because I am naturally introverted, but in the past I though about being more “out there” in order to get a girl. What stopped me? Observation.
If I was to be successfull, the girl would be with be because of something I pretended to be, not what I am. And in the end, I want some companionship that wants to be with for what I am. Besides, and I observed this recently, cute women already have all the attention they want from dozens of men more than willing to do whatever they want. So my specific “companionship” is already not needed. And if she is going to stay for my resources… well, that makes her a hooker, and I rather hire an actual hooker for an hour than go through the hell that is the dating scene. But sometimes I get the blues (pun intended) and I do wish I had some female company. All I have to do though, is look at people that already have such companionship. Or even the few women I was willing to have a shot with. In the end, all I see is worth would be the sex (and that is me being generous), and that is not enough to trade my whole life for.
Anyway, I hope this helps.
Cheers.
A remnant of blue-pillism made me wonder if I was really being a rude bastard and just trying to prove a point
So what if you were? What did she do that was deserving of courtesy?
If anything you treated her far better than she deserved.
Sometimes I think it’d be nice to find a girlfriend
F~~~ing a woman can be pretty satisfying, it’s true. But seeing her a couple of years after you break up and realizing what a giant f~~~ing bullet you dodged there is even more satisfying.
Does anyone else have this internal “conflict” – they are dominantly MGTOW but, deep down there is that gnawing desire for quality companionship?
Enjoyed the story @smad. Well played.
And yes. But I also am aware that I have been SOCIALIZED to want that – or feel *incomplete* without it. And so have you. You probably can’t get laid. You probably can’t get girlfriend . And what did the girl say “well my boyfriend”. Cant be right or secure on her own…. but because she “has a boyfriend” she doesn’t care what you have to say now.
RESPONSE: “You have a BOYFRIEND? That’s adorable. Let me know when you’re ready for a MAN”.
If I was being a rude bastard.
I’ll tell you, I can NOT BELIEVE the “rude bastard” I have had to become — on many occasions — to make sure a woman didn’t get away with anything. If she didn’t try, it wouldn’t be necessary, but this c~~~ was actually PLOTTING to have you involved in a police situation and you’re questioning YOUR character???
No.
There will be MANY times when women will try and pull s~~~ on you with no limits or fair play, and you had be prepared to be as rude as necessary to make sure she doesn’t get away with it. It will shock you how far a woman will push you without limits…. and what kind of dickhead asshole you have to be to “win” – including openly admitting that you ARE one.
Examples:
“You look like a nice guy, not like your RUDE friend blocking the bar there…”
“Damn that’s too bad! I was really working my asshole game tonight. And thought it was working. What can I do to improve it?”.
(never let a woman think you’re a “nice guy”. She practically insulted you. You follow? )
“Is your RUDE friend the leader of your group?”
“That’s rude in itself. You’re no authority on manners”
“Do you have a girlfriend? You seem like the sort of guy that would be kind to a girl.”
“Is that a proposal? Where’s the ring. You have to buy me drinks and dinner first”.
Instead of threatening to call the police, she will be calling you for a f~~~.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Morning All!
Great responses – especially the honesty of other MGTOW who have fleeting moments of questioning themselves.
Lonely is a temporary state of mind that wears off in a few hours.
My moment yesterday certainly passed quickly. After reading just a few responses from my OP I remembered that actually, I recently built my new office area at home with money I have because I DON’T have some stupid leech in my life holding me back – I was working with a research team recently that came SECOND IN THE WORLD for an Interstellar Space Project for designing a future mission to Alpha Centauri, our closest star. My “celebration” therefore was to treat myself to some quality timber and spent last weekend doing a DIY carpentry project. I now have a lovely office area to do my research in and it has been built sturdy – this will outlast ANY female relationship! 🙂
.i’ve been more lonely in a relationship than single.
Yes, I agree with this very much. Not being understood by people is fine, but not being understood by someone you supposedly cares about you is quite s~~~.
Can you take me under your wing? It would be so awesome to have you as a mentor…the three of us could be MGTOW wingmen!
Hahaha, perhaps I could charge hourly fees! Nah – passing wisdom to fellow men to help improve their lives should be free, especially when everything else costs so much! Why have ONE mentor when MGTOW.COM has MANY mentors you can learn from! 🙂
But sometimes I get the blues (pun intended) and I do wish I had some female company. All I have to do though, is look at people that already have such companionship. Or even the few women I was willing to have a shot with. In the end, all I see is worth would be the sex (and that is me being generous), and that is not enough to trade my whole life for.
Excellent sentiment – many of my friends are married / children / LTR and NONE of them have had the time (or energy) to pursue what they wanted as a young man. A friend of mine could have been a really clever physicist – he wanted to go to work at CERN, etc. But now, it has taken him a year to read half a book for an online course he is doing. Other friends have to “ask” permission or arrange their family time just to come around for a few hours for a cup of tea. Sad times!
F~~~ing a woman can be pretty satisfying, it’s true. But seeing her a couple of years after you break up and realizing what a giant f~~~ing bullet you dodged there is even more satisfying.
Oh yes – I have seen quite a few women I have knocked about with over the years, most of them have turned into cave trolls and haggard specimens of humanity. “Large” is an understatement.
“You look like a nice guy, not like your RUDE friend blocking the bar there…” “Damn that’s too bad! I was really working my asshole game tonight. And thought it was working. What can I do to improve it?”. (never let a woman think you’re a “nice guy”. She practically insulted you. You follow?
I said very much this to my friend. Being called a “nice guy” by women IS quite insulting. A woman describing a guy as “nice” is basically friendzoned. “Nice” is something like a fluffy kitten. Women who are attracted to men say things like:
“damn, hes hot!”
“What a hunk”
etc.
So, when I told my friend that she actually kind of insulted him (she said that HE was the nice guy), that was a red pill moment for him. She didn’t even know him, but she obviously looked at his posture, demeanour etc and SENSED that he was “nice.” F~~~ that s~~~!
There will be MANY times when women will try and pull s~~~ on you with no limits or fair play, and you had be prepared to be as rude as necessary to make sure she doesn’t get away with it.
Most of the time, I am not *that* rude – I will hold doors open for guys AND girls, queue politely etc. I don’t hate women (as this seems to have been a common theme in other posts) so I am not vindictive to them.
Ignoring women, however, is EXTREMELY damaging to them and is a potent weapon. Ignoring and denying their existence is ego shattering and frustrating and requires little to ZERO effort to carry out, which is why it’s so beautiful. Think of all the times where you try and ignore a woman and they keep trying harder and harder. Most PUA tactics suggest “ignoring women” for a time to not come across as needy, etc. Same sort of principle. Chances are, by ignoring this dumbass from Saturday night and standing up to her quite possibly made her panties a little bit wet!
But still, great replies from everyone and I thank you. I shall celebrate with continuing my research in my new office area and feel quietly smug that I have achieved so much without the burden of women in my life.
Marriage? No thanks, i'm not ready to be THAT miserable.
Anonymous2Does anyone else have this internal “conflict” – they are dominantly MGTOW but, deep down there is that gnawing desire for quality companionship?
Yes, but the solution is to develop standards and mercylessly axe everything that’s not on par. That girl was being an obnoxious c~~~, not quality companionship. Be nice company to girls that understand that sort of behaviour is undesirable. Only positively reinforce behaviour that is desirable, and punish that which is undesirable. Better women then this bimbo will respect that you have standards and uphold them. Don’t forget that a part of your potential for sexual loyalty comes from being able to withstand the manipulations of these harpies.
In terms of myself, I would also say that 99% I am quite selfish and I am usually fine with that / accept that’s my nature. The tiny 1% occasional blip of blue pill thinking makes me think that I have lots to share. This then usually gets quelled with the generalised thought process of “most people are ungrateful when you share anyway, so I may as well not bother.”
Its not really being selfish though, its being practical. Let’s say you live in a city where everything you need is within walking distance…so you don’t buy a car. Are you being cheap for not owning a car or just being practical? You might have the resources to obtain one, but if you don’t want one its simply a waste.
Women are the same way. Maybe you are an emotionally stable guy with a good job and a sense of humor that has a lot to offer a woman, but if you can’t find a woman worth expending any resources or energy on, why should you? Its not being selfish, its just not being wasteful.
Let’s say you live in a city where everything you need is within walking distance…so you don’t buy a car. Are you being cheap for not owning a car or just being practical?
Lol this is actually my case – I live pretty much next to a very busy bus line and train network that leads to other major places and I am LITERALLY 5 minutes walk into the main town centre. I am also five minutes walk LITERALLY again to the seaside and beach. Coastal towns are awesome haha!
Marriage? No thanks, i'm not ready to be THAT miserable.
“Oh, well, doesn’t matter because I have a boyfriend of 2 years and I don’t really care what I say because it doesn’t matter.”
This is where I would strike
“Two years huh, I wonder why you’re not married? Ah that’s right because you’re a bitch.”"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."
Abraham Lincoln- AuthorPosts
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