Greetings my brothers! So I’m Nick, 35 y.o. guy from New York. I’m kind of like your typical nerd or geek Aspie living with his mother (not stereotyping, this s~~~ is real). Basically I was always treated like crap in school because I was different and went through even more hell in middle and high school when everyone decided that I was gay. That was a pretty dark time in my life and I literally felt like killing myself. Eventually things got better but then my father (who was kind of an alcoholic) was really screwing up and probably banging this intern at his job. After much fighting between him and mother, he finally just up and left us when I was just finishing high school and we pretty much have had no contact or anything from him for 17 years. I had to give up finishing college, find work and help mom and my two younger sisters (they are 34 and 31 now). Somehow, by some f~~~ed up female luck, they got to go off and have lives of their own while I am still stuck helping mom. Now I have many interests (gaming, birding, nature hikes in general and reading to name a few) but it really sucks. Things have gotten worse in the last year when mom had a stroke and other health problems she was neglecting caught up with her. She’s doing great now but needs more help than ever. Due to that, our relatively poor financial situation (we’re good just not as good as I would like) and my work schedules basically make it impossible to date, go on vacation or even go out on the weekends (not like I’d want to do that last part anyways). I wish things could be different but…
Maybe I don’t. Okay so I have never dated. The only experience with females I have is this one girl I had a crush on back in the 6th grade (I got to kiss her in truth or dare but she dumped me like three times but we later found out she and her two sisters were getting molested by their father so yeah…). I got to kiss a few other girls in plays in high school, a work friend took me to a strip club when I was 20 and another led me towards someone he knows that has a little “side business” when I was 29 (so that’s basically when I popped my cherry but I still feel as through I didn’t earn it). But I have basically never initiated anything with any girl I like because of my AS unless co-workers asked me to (then I felt like I was doing it just to please them). I have so many social issues and have difficulty looking people, especially attractive women, in the eye. I just feel like no girl will want me because I have no experience and still live with my mother. There were times that I thought a few girls were into me but they were either taken or just nothing happened. And I don’t even set the bar high. I don’t care about these uber made-up thin blondes with big boobs, I’ve felt strongest attracted to plump, normal cuties (who also happened to have big boobs).
But I’ve always felt that there was something holding me back, like I shouldn’t even try to date at all. It’s hard because women are beautiful and have many parts that I love (boobs and I have a foot fetish so there’s that too). It just makes me so angry that it has to be so hard to get with them. I mean, people always say that everyone deserves love but not everybody gets it do they? It just seems to me that women only care about looks, money, athleticism, popularity or entertainment and I hate all the alphas that possess those things. Taint fair I tells ya. I have a lot of anger for this whole thing and I really don’t like seeing PDA or any other “coupled” activities. Pretty much all of my peers are married with kids and I feel like a failure in life for not being able to do it myself. Whenever I do get p~~~ed off my own rationalization hamster goes crazy and I get all these ideas why women suck.
And then I started to think that something really f~~~ed up might be going on here. I realized that it seems like women get so much handed to them in life and we do so much for them just for a chance to f~~~ them. Well personally, I don’t gamble and I don’t do chance. I’ll admit it: I’m lazy, I’m a quitter and I’m sorry but things have to be easy for me or I don’t do them. That’s just how I roll or I get really stressed out due to my condition and neurosies.
I get along with my mother great but we do fight and almost everyday she gives me a reason why I just can’t wait to live alone. The house is paid off and mostly put in my name since I pretty much sacrificed everything to help and my selfish sisters could do what they wanted. In a way, I feel like I am married (and not getting any of course) and just can’t wait to get divorced. I won’t outright say that I hate women but secretly I really, really, really, really dislike them. Mom gives me plenty of reasons I don’t like about women. This is a shame because all I pretty much want to do is have sex with one in the missionary position and cum inside her just once to see what it’s like. I fap to things I like online and have toys too but I just want to see what the real things is like (not counting what experiences I’ve paid for). After mom goes I just can’t fathom having to deal with another women in my house, bothering me and doing all the things I don’t like.
So TLDR I recently heard about MGTOW from a YouTube commenter who didn’t agree with a certain something I said on a video and began devouring information on the subject before coming here. I realize more than ever how women are really f~~~ing with us and that, as I always knew, I am happy just being alone. In fact, the name Mostyman is the name of a kind of “loner hero” I created back in high school. He brings Mostiness, which basically means just doing your own thing without letting anyone or anything tell you what to do. I feel like I’ve taken the Red Pill at birth, but not just with women. I have many other “crackpot” theories on various things, especially my big one on DNA, society and humanity itself. I’ll post these in other threads later. Otherwise I’ll check out some other threads and speak my piece if need be. Till then, stay mosty my friends.
experienced 4 years, 10 months ago.
