Home › Forums › Relations~~~s › Red Flag Extravaganza!
This topic contains 9 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by Sandals 2 years, 8 months ago.
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I was young, naive and a blue pill (not even aware of red pill); this story takes place the best part of a decade ago. Read on for an overview of crazy.
We met when we were both 17. She was petite, relatively attractive and on the same wavelength as me. We worked together. Lesson 1: Don’t s~~~ where you eat. We hooked up and ended up jumping right into being exclusive. She was insatiable, I felt like a legend. I was that guy flaunting her on my arm like a trophy. She’d had a bad previous relationship and refused to let me pay for things as her ex had always thrown it in her face that she was a gold-digger. Back at the time I hated this, as a well conditioned beta I was brought up to believe it’s a man’s duty to spoil “his woman” – now I see it was a blessing.
Over time things got tense, often culminating in me apologising. I was in college, travelling abroad for my studies on occasion, and also holding down the same amount of work shifts as she was. The whole “you don’t make time for me” surfaced, despite the fact I barely had time to scratch my b~~~~, never mind lavish her with my undivided attention very often. I was grinding, trying to secure a good education and career prospects. She hated that she wasn’t my priority.
Fast forward to a year or so into our relations~~~. I bought her a car for Christmas despite not being able to afford my own. Lesson 2: Don’t encourage her freedom. She started going out all the time whilst I was at college, out with “friends” etc. and spending a lot of time with one male in particular. I voiced my observations and was verbally slapped into line. I was paranoid. I was jealous. She was innocent. It was all in my head. Yada yada.
A few months later we’re at a house party at her sister’s home. I cannot see her anywhere amidst the crowds, but her car is still outside. I eventually locate her; I walk in on her laying in bed with the lad I mentioned earlier, his shirt is off, his arm around her, and they’re just laying there talking and laughing. I am like “are you f~~~ing serious right now?” Of course, I was the bad guy still. Don’t ask how – the only answer is: because vagina
I am downstairs, f~~~ing furious but trying to keep a lid on it as there are a lot of mutual friends present. I don’t want to cause a scene, but here she comes, shoving me and screaming in my face that I need to f~~~ off out of her sisters house and that I’ve ruined everything. I am in the wrong for not trusting her. My paranoia is the problem, not the scenario described above. We’re over. She cannot deal with my jealousy. Riiiight. Anyhow, I totally lose my s~~~ whilst she is slapping me and punch my hand through her sisters kitchen door in a violent outburst. Her expression changes from anger, to fear, back to anger again very quickly.The lad is standing behind her acting all innocent and apologising for “how it must have looked”.
I disappear upstairs into the bathroom for some space so I can try to process everything that has just happened. This next part is f~~~ing mental so buckle up. In a moment of absolute insanity, I take a razor and hold it to my wrist waiting for her to come storming in – my intention to try and shock some kind of sense into her at the prospect of me cutting my wrist – to evoke some realisation of how much she actually cares. I know, trust me, I know. It was dumb. But no, she doesn’t come in, instead her sister does. She is screaming like a banshee about me punching a hole through her kitchen door and ruining her party, and is basically going full postal. She see’s the razor in my hand, and totally loses her s~~~. In a hailstorm of insults and accusations of me “not being man enough to do it”, she snatches the razor and slashes her own wrist wide open. Legit, she slashes her wrist – blood pouring out everywhere and she is screaming now, realising what she has done and the fact that she has kids. She’s scared, crying, panicking. I’m dumbstruck.
My ex comes in, and lo and behold, it’s all my fault, again. An ambulance is called whilst I’m just sat in a blur with my entire world in disarray. The ambulance arrives and the other lad who had been in bed with my ex get’s in with her sister. What. The. F~~~. Okay whatever… they have told my ex she cannot get in – she is too intoxicated and will need to make her own way there. I see her grab her keys, and I’m like “f~~~ no, you’re not driving in that state.”
More fool me, next I’m standing in front of the car with her revving the engine, screaming that I need to get out the way or she’ll “go through me”. After all, it is all my fault remember guys. I stand there, refusing to move. I’m pleading with her, that in spite of everything, I can’t live with the idea of letting her drive in that state if anything happens to her. So I am standing in front of the car – arms spread, refusing to move. Oh, believe me when I say that I moved when I bounced off the front of the moving car that I’d bought her! Yup, she ran me down. I bounced off the bonnet into the road and she screeched off into the night after the ambulance.
My head spinning, I walked home, 3 miles to her house. I knew she would be up the hospital for a long time and concluded it was the easiest chance I would get – I packed up all my s~~~ and I got the f~~~ out of there. And that my friends is the definition of a crazy c~~~.
But as I was blue pill as f~~~ – I was crazier. Yes, believe it or not, we got back together after 3 months because I am clearly a masochist… but that’s a story for another day.
No-one's yet explained to me exactly what's so great // About slaving fifty years away on something that you hate // About meekly shuffling down the path of mediocrity // Well if that's your road then take it, but it's not the road for me.
That had more red flags than a Chinese military May Day parade and you got back together? Holy s~~~ man—you were a glutton for punishment.
That had more red flags than a Chinese military May Day parade and you got back together? Holy s~~~ man—you were a glutton for punishment.
Ahhh, fond memories of back when I retardedly believed in the notion of love! Haha!
No-one's yet explained to me exactly what's so great // About slaving fifty years away on something that you hate // About meekly shuffling down the path of mediocrity // Well if that's your road then take it, but it's not the road for me.
Lesson 2: Don’t encourage her freedom.
I have to disagree , and strongly encouraged independence in women. You won’t regret it.
You mention the reason here . . . .
After all, it is all my fault remember guys.
I talked about this before, but I remember a GF was offered a temp job elsewhere and I encouraged her to take it for a few months. She had been living with me and she was young (22) I encouraged her to move out, get her own place and stand on her own etc.
She was facing away from me – crying in bed – because she interpreted it as a “break up” talk, but I was only encouraging her to have her freedom. This way, she can’t blame me later for “not allowing her to be her own person”.
Oh yes. I have been blamed for that before, and I wasn’t going to let her do the same.
I fell for the tears and we never spoke about it again, until 2 years later when we broke, and she STILL blamed me for “not allowing her to be her own person”. I was so mad I could have punched a f~~~ing hole in the wall.
I had to bring up that conversation when she was crying in bed next to me , and I told her if I could go back to that moment. . . I would have kicked her & her s~~~ out into the street and bolted the door behind her with no feeling or remorse.
••••
Encouraging independence in women is extremely important because the last thing you want is her blaming YOU for “oppressing” her in a relationship. And the reason you must insist on it, is because you’ll know every minute she is there, it’s because she WANTS to be.
Reminding her the door is open at all times – and she can LEAVE – is just as good for you as it is for her.
Of course she’ll still blame you for it and say “you don’t love her”.
But as we already know, she’ll blame the man either way.So if not for her benefit, do it for your OWN.
In a moment of absolute insanity, I take a razor and hold it to my wrist waiting for her to come storming in – my intention to try and shock some kind of sense into her at the prospect of me cutting my wrist – to evoke some realisation of how much she actually cares. I know, trust me, I know. It was dumb.
Yeah, that was dumb.
Creating hysterics and emotional instability is what women will do, they can’t have you doing that too. I can’t think of a single reason to hold a woman hostage like that. That’s what THEY do. “Don’t leave me or I’ll cut myself!!” and threats like that.
Have you never seen Fatal Attraction?
It’s where the expression “bunny boiler” comes from.Yes, believe it or not, we got back together after 3 months
Yikes.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Encouraging independence in women is extremely important because the last thing you want is her blaming YOU for “oppressing” her in a relationship. And the reason you must insist on it, is because you’ll know every minute she is there, it’s because she WANTS to be.
I hear you; it was more a reflection on how I felt in the relationship. Encouraging her freedom felt like pushing her out into a world full of sport f~~~ing. Keeping her chained to a radiator seemed the safer option to ensure fidelity. Obviously I realise now in hindsight that fidelity itself is a fallacy. It’s not a question of “if” but rather of “when” and “who with”.
Creating hysterics and emotional instability is what women will do, they can’t have you doing that too. I can’t think of a single reason to hold a woman hostage like that. That’s what THEY do. “Don’t leave me or I’ll cut myself!!” and threats like that.
I know, I know. It was dumb. A moment of sheer desperation, the panic of a naive blue piller who believed losing her would be the end of life as I knew it. Rather than holding her hostage, I’d envision the moment as a sudden epiphany of “don’t kill yourself / I’m so sorry / I love you” etc. etc. Puke. Younger me was a moron.
Yikes.
Indeed. Good old Rosy Retrospection combined with the unfamiliarity of single life after spending two years with her I guess. Oh well, lessons were well and truly learned. More on that another time.
No-one's yet explained to me exactly what's so great // About slaving fifty years away on something that you hate // About meekly shuffling down the path of mediocrity // Well if that's your road then take it, but it's not the road for me.
Keeping her chained to a radiator seemed the safer option to ensure fidelity
Understand that, but a woman is less likely to stray/leave when you remind her where the door is.
Even when they want a “girls night out” and she spends more time getting primped for others instead of you … YOU LET HER GO…. and you tell her you will not be there when she gets home. And you sure as f~~~ will not be the chauffeur to pick her up and take her friends home so they can puke in the back seat.
It’s not telling her she can’t go. It’s not controlling or dictatorial , but you let her know she can’t be in a relationship with you – if that’s something she feels she needs to do . “Girls night out” is a s~~~ test every time. You don’t keep her home, you push her out the door.
A woman’s infidelity is just a matter of time.
Doesn’t even matter how “alpha” you are.Encouraging her freedom felt like pushing her out into a world full of sport f~~~ing.
She’s gonna do it anyway.
You let her know you know this and push her into the other guys arms.The BEST way to deal with female infidelity is to let the other guy have her.
I did it at a party once when this girl started testing me for jealousy, and was flirting with him. I told her “go ahead! Maybe HE can drive you home too.” All of sudden, she stops doing it.
It’s not a question of “if” but rather of “when” and “who with”.
Too right.
The same girl (above) was a professional s~~~ tester. An expert. And I got pretty good with all the practice. One day, she came home late while I was making dinner, and told me about a guy who rolled up in a black car and propositioned her( *RED FLAG* ).
“I have a boyfriend” she said . . . . ( *RED FLAG* )
She said he asked “are you happy?” ( *RED FLAG LIE* )
My bulls~~~ detector was going off like a fire alarm. It spun me around with a cooking utensil in my hand, and with a very interested smile I amplified “Well? What did you say??? Why didn’t you get IN? Who knows, you could have had breakfast in Paris!!” like I was one of her gossipy girlfriends.
She looked at me stunned, realizing I wasn’t buying it, went into the bathroom and closed the door. If it wasn’t a lie, she wouldn’t have done that.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.The same girl (above) was a professional s~~~ tester. An expert. And I got pretty good with all the practice. One day, she came home late while I was making dinner, and told me about a guy who rolled up in a black car and propositioned her( *RED FLAG* ).
“I have a boyfriend” she said . . . . ( *RED FLAG* )
She said he asked “are you happy?” ( *RED FLAG LIE* )
My bulls~~~ detector was going off like a fire alarm. It spun me around with a cooking utensil in my hand, and with a very interested smile I agreed and amplified “Well? What did you say??? Why didn’t you get IN? Who knows, you could have had breakfast in Paris!!”
Ironically I recognise the s~~~-tests she did too. Only I failed quite a few back at the time purely out of the deluded notion of being in love with her. I made the mistake of idolising her, placing her on a pedestal and dedicating waaay too much energy trying to ensure she loved me back. I hated her going out without me on a night out, I hated her being alone with other guys etc. My logic was as thus:
Evidently I learned my lesson in the end.
No-one's yet explained to me exactly what's so great // About slaving fifty years away on something that you hate // About meekly shuffling down the path of mediocrity // Well if that's your road then take it, but it's not the road for me.
I agree with Keymaster. Do whatever you can to encourage strong independent women. Because after all especially when your MGTOW you dont want to end up completely supporting all these t~~~s with welfare and public funds. So yes I support women closing legs and getting jobs. They can go fund themselves. They can do the other thing that sounds like that too.
The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "save us!"....... and i'll look down and whisper "No."
They can go fund themselves. They can do the other thing that sounds like that too.
Haha, brilliant.
No-one's yet explained to me exactly what's so great // About slaving fifty years away on something that you hate // About meekly shuffling down the path of mediocrity // Well if that's your road then take it, but it's not the road for me.
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