Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › Proud To Never Had Kids – Tom Leykis
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Chaff/Flare 3 years, 5 months ago.
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This post isn’t meant to bash those with kids, but to rather be proud to of never had kids. It’s one of the greatest accomplishments I’ve ever done in my life.
From day 1, especially if you’re a man, you’re pressured to have kids from everyone in your life. To your family, to your friends, to the media you watch and listen to. They’re all out to convince you to have kids.
Like Tom Leykis said:
You have to have laser like focus to never have kids in the first place.
I completely agree with that statement.
Everyone talks about how “great” it is to have kids, fearing that they’ll feel guilty if they say they wished they never had kids or feel like a bad parent to regret having kids.
They always hype up the experience of parenthood, claiming it’s “the greatest thing ever” to pop out a mini me version of yourself.
Around 7 or 8 years old, I decided for myself I never wanted kids and I’m thankful I never had them in the first place.
When you have kids, your life becomes a nightmare in of itself. Parenting is a full time job. Kids are also expensive as f~~~ to raise, especially now a days.
Compared to the people who have kids, I get to do what I want when I want. I don’t have to worry about getting baby formula while I’m on vacation. I don’t have to worry about changing diapers. I don’t have to worry about daughters getting pregnant or sons getting falsely accused.
Having a kid USED to be a financial asset, especially in the past where most of us lived on farms. Now a days, they’re just a financial burden.
I’m proud to have never have kids in the first place. When’s all said and done, kids are more of a burden, especially in modern times. I’ve never saw the point in having kids to begin with.
Almost every “enjoyment” you can get while being a parent, you can get if you became a pre-school teacher, a babysitter, or an aunt or an uncle with none of the drawbacks of being a parent 24/7.
I never saw the appeal in being a parent and I never will. I just see parenthood in of itself, a huge burden, especially in modern times.
Just like with marriage, parenthood only benefits women.
I’ve never wanted kids, and I’ve never wanted to get married. I may have done some stupid s~~~ in my life, but at least I got two things right.
"Free your mind and your ass will follow. The kingdom of heaven is within." -Funkadelic
I used to want kids when I was younger…but the funny thing now is people look at me like I’m nuts when I tell them I’m too old to have kids. I’m 32. Let’s say I went blue pill and date a chick for a year, that puts me at 33, then we get engaged and married that that takes another year and puts me at 34, then total time to impregnate and hatch a kid puts me at 35. 18 years of having minor in the house puts me at 53, and 4 more years of having a semi dependent if I wanted to be helpful while they go to college puts me at 57. That would be for a first kid…add a year or two on for any additional kids. I don’t want to be tied down like that until I’m possible in my early 60s…especially if things go bad with the marriage and I get divorce raped…its fairly common in my state that I’d get stuck with child support, having to supply health insurance, and having to set money aside to help pay for college…chance to retire before I’m in my 60s would effectively be zero…and in fact, with how hard I’ve seen some guys get hammered here, I’d be one step above poverty until my 60s.
What did earlier generations do…spit all their kids out by their mid 20s and be free in their mid 40s. That’s how its done. Even if I married young and divorced 10 years later, I’d still be done with my financial raping in my 40s, wouldn’t have brought as much net worth into the marriage to get wrecked, and wouldn’t have acquired as much net worth as more money would have been spent vs what I save now. Basically your prime saving years are the years you have no dependents. If you have those years prior to kids/divorce you effectively lose half or more of them. If you have them after kids/divorce the kids/divorce won’t be as financially punishing or f~~~ over your retirement plans nearly as much.
Its kind of funny we so often talk about women’s biological clock…but my common sense/financial clock ran out before a lot of women’s biological clock did. I couldn’t imagine having a teen age son who wants to toss a baseball or play some basketball with dad…only dads closing in on 60 and doesn’t want to do that s~~~ anymore. F~~~ that. I used to feel sorry for my buddy who had a kid at 18, but now I’m kind of jealous because his kids old enough to do fun s~~~ with and he’s still young enough to have a blast doing that kind of stuff with him without waking up the next day feeling like he got his ass beat with a bat lol. Even if he got divorce raped at this point he doesn’t have much to split because they aren’t exactly high earners and he’d have like 4 years of child support before the kid is 18.
WHen I was younger, up to age 30, I never wanted children. After I became single in my mid 30’s though, and seeing all of the wimmins with kids being my only dating options, I started checking it out. I always liked kids, but didn’t feel I wanted my own… and I married a woman with a child. I took on another man’s child and have raised that kid as my own… to the point of being ‘dad’ and her not wanting anything to do with her biological father…
Albeit I’m in a crap relationship and still being s~~~ on (new to MGTOW and working on it), the kid is still one of the best investments I’ve made. But… looking back… if I had heard of MGTOW before that relationship started… I’d not have any.
No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.
I used to want kids when I was younger…but the funny thing now is people look at me like I’m nuts when I tell them I’m too old to have kids. I’m 32. Let’s say I went blue pill and date a chick for a year, that puts me at 33, then we get engaged and married that that takes another year and puts me at 34, then total time to impregnate and hatch a kid puts me at 35. 18 years of having minor in the house puts me at 53, and 4 more years of having a semi dependent if I wanted to be helpful while they go to college puts me at 57. That would be for a first kid…add a year or two on for any additional kids. I don’t want to be tied down like that until I’m possible in my early 60s…especially if things go bad with the marriage and I get divorce raped…its fairly common in my state that I’d get stuck with child support, having to supply health insurance, and having to set money aside to help pay for college…chance to retire before I’m in my 60s would effectively be zero…and in fact, with how hard I’ve seen some guys get hammered here, I’d be one step above poverty until my 60s.
What did earlier generations do…spit all their kids out by their mid 20s and be free in their mid 40s. That’s how its done. Even if I married young and divorced 10 years later, I’d still be done with my financial raping in my 40s, wouldn’t have brought as much net worth into the marriage to get wrecked, and wouldn’t have acquired as much net worth as more money would have been spent vs what I save now. Basically your prime saving years are the years you have no dependents. If you have those years prior to kids/divorce you effectively lose half or more of them. If you have them after kids/divorce the kids/divorce won’t be as financially punishing or f~~~ over your retirement plans nearly as much.
Its kind of funny we so often talk about women’s biological clock…but my common sense/financial clock ran out before a lot of women’s biological clock did. I couldn’t imagine having a teen age son who wants to toss a baseball or play some basketball with dad…only dads closing in on 60 and doesn’t want to do that s~~~ anymore. F~~~ that. I used to feel sorry for my buddy who had a kid at 18, but now I’m kind of jealous because his kids old enough to do fun s~~~ with and he’s still young enough to have a blast doing that kind of stuff with him without waking up the next day feeling like he got his ass beat with a bat lol. Even if he got divorce raped at this point he doesn’t have much to split because they aren’t exactly high earners and he’d have like 4 years of child support before the kid is 18.
As one who did just that, slightly above your age… you are making the right choice and looking at it correctly. My brother’s dad was 65 when he graduated college, everywhere they went he was asked about if his ‘grandpa’ (his dad) wanted to join them, etc. Having kids above age 30 is a gamble…
No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.
This post isn’t meant to bash those with kids, but to rather be proud to of never had kids. It’s one of the greatest accomplishments I’ve ever done in my life.
Stop with the bull s~~~. If you’re going to say it, then own it. Don’t expect your audience to buy into your ‘no offence, but’ crap.
From day 1, especially if you’re a man, you’re pressured to have kids from everyone in your life. To your family, to your friends, to the media you watch and listen to. They’re all out to convince you to have kids.
Agreed. Not everyone is going to enjoy being a parent, and it shouldn’t be thrown out there as something everyone should do.
Like Tom Leykis said:
You have to have laser like focus to never have kids in the first place.
I completely agree with that statement.
Everyone talks about how “great” it is to have kids, fearing that they’ll feel guilty if they say they wished they never had kids or feel like a bad parent to regret having kids.
Sometimes, yes. I personally really like being a dad. Not always, but I wouldn’t go back and change it if I could.
But regardless, don’t ever let your kids hear you say you wish you never had them.
They always hype up the experience of parenthood, claiming it’s “the greatest thing ever” to pop out a mini me version of yourself.
Around 7 or 8 years old, I decided for myself I never wanted kids and I’m thankful I never had them in the first place.
When you have kids, your life becomes a nightmare in of itself. Parenting is a full time job. Kids are also expensive as f~~~ to raise, especially now a days.
If you’re a s~~~ty parent or married to a s~~~ty wife, it definitely can be. I enjoy being with my kids, and I enjoy my time away from them.
Compared to the people who have kids, I get to do what I want when I want. I don’t have to worry about getting baby formula while I’m on vacation. I don’t have to worry about changing diapers. I don’t have to worry about daughters getting pregnant or sons getting falsely accused.
Nope, you don’t. You don’t get any of the benefits of having a kid either.
Having a kid USED to be a financial asset, especially in the past where most of us lived on farms. Now a days, they’re just a financial burden.
Pretty much everything is a financial burden. If the cost benefit doesn’t work for you, then don’t do it.
I’m proud to have never have kids in the first place. When’s all said and done, kids are more of a burden, especially in modern times. I’ve never saw the point in having kids to begin with.
Almost every “enjoyment” you can get while being a parent, you can get if you became a pre-school teacher, a babysitter, or an aunt or an uncle with none of the drawbacks of being a parent 24/7.
You sounds like one of those women who thinks having a dog is the same thing as having a child. No f~~~ing clue.
I never saw the appeal in being a parent and I never will. I just see parenthood in of itself, a huge burden, especially in modern times.
Just like with marriage, parenthood only benefits women.
There are plenty of reasons not to have kids. I can’t even say I’m going to recommend having kids to my own kids when they reach that point. And yes, laws in our society favor women in parenthood. However, you don’t need to justify your choses any more then I need to justify my own. Those people that are pushing you to get married and be a parent…they are wrong and I’m right there with you on that. You don’t need to knock fatherhood to say you don’t want to be one.
Ok. Then do it.
Gerald, I know nothing of your scenario except for what you have posted here.
For 3 years I lived with a woman with a baby until 3y/o. It was wonderful until one day mom cheated on me and I never got to see that child again. Broke my heart.
Be careful brother, you have absolutely no parental rights and, depending on the state you live in, you might have parental responsiblities (have to pay child support if you break up).
What I learned:
Don’t ever raise someone else’s kid. No matter what the mom feels about her ex that is still the father of that child and you are an interloper.
Interesting aside, my ex girlfriend had me raising the kid, another guy who thought he was bio-dad babysitting and real bio-dad in South America because he was a one night stand.
That was her story anyway.
I then became a student of Leykis 101!
#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.
Anonymous42F~~~ taking care of someone’s rugrats! They don’t make a vacuum cleaner big enough to suck them up!
Nope, you don’t. You don’t get any of the benefits of having a kid either.
What are the benefits of having kids exactly? Because you certainly haven’t named a single one.
You sounds like one of those women who thinks having a dog is the same thing as having a child. No f~~~ing clue.
I have no f~~~ing clue about what exactly? Even Tom Leykis says the exact same s~~~ I’m saying. Yet, you have no problem with him saying it.
Anonymous6I just don’t see the benefit of having them in today’s day and time. There used to be a benefit, but now they are more of a burden than a blessing. Think of the freedom and peace that you get when you don’t have them. What if they turn out to be assholes that don’t like you. What if they are rebellious, i don’t want to deal with it. Not a good investment and certainly not an investment that will see a good return.
What are the benefits of having kids exactly? Because you certainly haven’t named a single one.
And that’s intentional. Why in the world do I need to tell you why I like being a father? For the same reason, why in the world do you need to tell me or anyone else why you don’t want to be a father?
I can tell from your original post that you intend to minimize whatever I say is a benefit, if I could even describe it anyway. Why should I bother? If you were actually genuinely interested it might be worth it, but you’re not.
I have no f~~~ing clue about what exactly? Even Tom Leykis says the exact same s~~~ I’m saying. Yet, you have no problem with him saying it.
You have no clue what it’s like being a father, as your statement that you get the same experience by being a teacher illustrated.. I’m not talking to Tom Leykis, didn’t look at video or anything. Didn’t say I had a problem with it or didn’t.
Ok. Then do it.
And that’s intentional.
So you’re not willing to back up your claims after you try to tell me “I sound like a woman.” Either back up your s~~~ or don’t.
You have no clue what it’s like being a father,
You’re right, I have no clue on what it’s like being a dad. But, when you tell me s~~~ like this:
You sounds like one of those women who thinks having a dog is the same thing as having a child. No f~~~ing clue.
Then you should BACK UP your claims or leave it the f~~~ alone. Fatherhood, especially in modern times, is a s~~~ty deal for any man to have to go through.
And personally, I think if you CHOOSE to become a parent, you’re making a stupid choice all around.
You come at me like you know it all, then back down when you’re called out on your s~~~. THAT’S f~~~ing WOMANLY.
I have no problem owning what I say, own what you say and BACK IT UP. Don’t back down when you’re called out on it.
Almost every “enjoyment” you can get while being a parent, you can get if you became a pre-school teacher, a babysitter, or an aunt or an uncle with none of the drawbacks of being a parent 24/7.
In todays anti male society being a teacher or anything else to do with kids you’re automatically under suspicion of being a possible pedophile.
F~~~ taking care of someone’s rugrats!
In my younger,foolish days I had a trial run @ that!
Today you’d have to put your kid in a private school to keep them safe from all the lib inclusive BS propaganda being shoved down their throats at such an early age,really make them aware of the dangers online
too,seems there are more freaks than ever before with this technology at their disposal.
So I can’t say I’m exactly sorry either,maybe if I had my own earlier in life but now with the divorce and custody laws mostly in favour of women,no thanks!Lifes a bitch,but you don't have to marry one!
Anonymous6Almost every “enjoyment” you can get while being a parent, you can get if you became a pre-school teacher, a babysitter, or an aunt or an uncle with none of the drawbacks of being a parent 24/7.
In todays anti male society being a teacher or anything else to do with kids you’re automatically under suspicion of being a possible pedophile.
That’s why men almost always teach for a short period of time, and then go directly to administrative positions. They push men to be the principals and directors. And that’s where all the money is
When I was 14 years old, I assumed I would get married, live in a nice house, and have two kids. That’s what most people around me were doing and I wanted to be “normal.” Well, I went through a lot of changes during my teenage years (hormonal, philosophical) and I ended up not caring about the world. I got really sick of my society and the way it is set up: it’s set up in a way that rewards people who cheat, lie, and steal.
I’m planning to get snipped.
Besides that, I used to babysit for my sisters. They decided to have kids w/o getting married and they lived in our house instead of getting their own place to live. Of course their boyfriends wouldn’t spend a DIME on food & shelter. The experience of watching a brat all day made me hate kids. I don’t hate kids, they are just annoying and they cost money. I’m taxed for kids that aren’t mine.
I’ve heard people say, “Do you want my kid?” because they are upset with their child’s bratty behavior. I see people walking around the department store with their little kids completely out of sight (and they wonder why kids end up missing). I see people around the world living in horrible conditions: extreme poverty, war, and FAMINE—and they still decide to have kids! Why? Some people get tired of their kids and just abandon them, as if they’re pets. The next person who tells me how wonderful it is to have kids should be shown some starving kids or some homeless, orphaned kids walking around a crime-ridden neighborhood. Why didn’t the parents of these kids think it was wonderful?
"I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.’" (Atlas Shrugged)
I’ve never wanted kids, and I’ve never wanted to get married. I may have done some stupid s~~~ in my life, but at least I got two things right.
same here brotha!
my goal is to remain childfree for the rest of my life….. gotta watch out for condoms with holes poked in it…
MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.
And that’s intentional.
So you’re not willing to back up your claims after you try to tell me “I sound like a woman.” Either back up your s~~~ or don’t.
It’s not a matter of will, it’s a matter of not being worth the effort. Counterproductive in fact as the point I really want to make is that you don’t need to give anyone a reason for not wanting to be a Dad, the same as I don’t need to give a reason for enjoying being a Dad. GYOW.
Call that womanly if you want, I don’t care.
You have no clue what it’s like being a father,
You’re right, I have no clue on what it’s like being a dad. But, when you tell me s~~~ like this:
You sounds like one of those women who thinks having a dog is the same thing as having a child. No f~~~ing clue.
Then you should BACK UP your claims or leave it the f~~~ alone. Fatherhood, especially in modern times, is a s~~~ty deal for any man to have to go through.
[quote quote=287423]Ummm, you said I was right about you not having a clue about what it’s like being a Dad. Not sure why you want me to prove that. As far as ‘sounding like a woman’, it’s my experience that women with no kids and a dog say their dog is just like having a kid. Your statement saying that being a teacher or babysitter gives you the same experience (on the positive) side as having the kid yourself. If you can’t see the similarities, or haven’t heard women speak of their dogs as kids, well, that’s all I got.
[quote quote=287423]
You come at me like you know it all, then back down when you’re called out on your s~~~. THAT’S f~~~ing WOMANLY.Again, why do I want to engage in a debate about the benefits of being a father with someone who doesn’t want to be a father, states that they don’t know what it’s like to be a father, I don’t care whether they want to be a father or not, and I don’t think they need to convince me or anyone else why they don’t want to be a father. I should get into it simply for the sake of arguing? To win the p~~~ing match? IMO, arguing when there is nothing to be accomplished is womanly.
I have no problem owning what I say, own what you say and BACK IT UP. Don’t back down when you’re called out on it.
Eh, I guess you could call that backing down if you want, I don’t care. Personally, I get the impression that you’re mostly just p~~~ed that I said your statement sounded like something a woman would say. I explained that one for you.
Ok. Then do it.
Anonymous3I do regret not having children. Sorry, don’t want to put a downer on things. However as each year passes, it becomes increasingly unlikely that I will have any, not just due to age, but also due to feeling resentment towards women.
Anonymous5As humans reproduction is in our DNA you can’t avoid it. But as I have discovered this is far in between just a sexual desire. Being a father is something that I can imagine can be a fantastic experience. But it seems also to come with the will to see it through. There is a route for the one that refuses to reproduce. A path unquestionably new I feel for us nowadays. An ability to realize to see the world with no filters attached.
“What happens when you refuse to see the world as you have been taught? Everything in world can’t please you. More comes to you that isn’t from this world; to make you happy”
I do regret not having children. Sorry, don’t want to put a downer on things. However as each year passes, it becomes increasingly unlikely that I will have any, not just due to age, but also due to feeling resentment towards women.
I hear ya man…I’ve told plenty of people I wouldn’t mind having kids, but I really don’t want to deal with marriage or a woman just to have one. Whatever joy I think being a father and having kids would bring to my life, I’m more than certain a woman would more than negate.
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