Probate Court when last parent dies

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Guess this issue fits here best. Keymaster, please move if it needs a better home.

Guys, like marriage, no one really explains how probate Court works in today’s society.

My divorce took 2 years. Probate is 5 years and no end in site.

Our family’s problem is that our father died first. Everything fell to my mom. She went mental with the loss of my father. When her legs started to swell she knew she had COPD just like dad. She knew that she had about a year to live. 50 years of smoking had done it’s damage.

Anyway, she freaked and became paranoid that her “boys” were going to put her in a nursing home. (took me a while to figure out why) turns out our only sister Jane was feeding mom this fear. Jane told her that she could only prevent this if she was the executor. Yep, you guessed it. Mom and Jane went to the first lawyer they could find and mom changed dad’s will. My accountant brother was out and Jane in.

Fast forward, mom dies, probate starts. 9 months go by and we hear nothing. We talk our bro#2 into going to mom’s lawyer to find out what’s up.

Turns out that right after mom died Jane initiated mom’s probate with mom’s lawyer and then asked him to represent her as her personal lawyer. He couldn’t tell us anything cause he represented Jane.

Well, bro #2 calls the lawyer a “weasel” to his face and goes and gets us our own lawyer.

Now, a court date is set and all 6 of us “boys” decide to go to court and find out what’s up in person.

Well, I get lost getting to court and am on cell phone with bro#4 to get directions. 5 brothers are waiting for me outside when our sister drives up. Must have been a bit intimidating as she walked down sidewalk past them. Bro#2 opens door for her and as she walks in to security area she begins yelling for help and the police officers place themselves between Jane and my brothers that are starting through door.

Anyway, we all wait in court and it seems like court is late starting. Actually, our sister and lawyer were in the judges private chamber telling her how the “boys” were terrorizing her. My sister must have had her fake cry going full blast.

The judge comes out and she admonishes us and then grants my sister authority to do a, b, c. We exit. What we didn’t know is that the court house was on high alert to protect Jane and our sister was given an armed escort to her car. All this while we were in a restaurant eating lunch.

After she left court she went downstairs to the battered women’s OFFICE and cried to the two old ladies. They helped her file protective orders against my brothers. I lucked out being lost.

All my brothers PO cases were thrown out when it went to court. Of course.

She is now dead to all of us. One sister born last and spoiled like a princess. I blame my younger brothers. I was out of house by the time she was 8. Pure evil. Pregnant at 16. Her husband is miserable. She is miserable.

My brothers and I are living a peaceful life but probate with my sister sucks.

Peace brothers

[Mr. ManParticipant 2916]

Holy s~~~, what a story. A buddy of mine is an attorney who specializes in probate. I don’t know how he does it.

Glad you’re living a peaceful life now.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Thanks Hominid.

I warned my brothers and predicted that my sister in charge would be a nightmare for us. (My divorce lesson gave me an advantage) Most agreed but a few said it would be fine. It’s a small estate split 7 ways, what could she do.

Heh, 150k estate. We have paid our lawyer 500 dollars and hers 28k so far.

My father tried to warn me about Jane. Said mom would need help. I told him mom would only listen to him. Without his stability she was lost.

Peace brothers

[TuneoutParticipant]

DorkShit wrote:

ep, you guessed it. Mom and Jane went to the first lawyer they could find and mom changed dad’s will. My accountant brother was out and Jane in.

I didn’t even know you could change a will,on what grounds?

Lifes a bitch,but you don't have to marry one!

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

I didn’t word that clearly.

My father had a will. He died and his estate goes to his living wife. My mom took his will and basically copied it with his lawyer.

10 years later she realized she was terminal and my sister took her to another lawyer and changed executor to be Jane.

This would not have been agreeable to my father but he was dead. My mom was of sound mind and could assign anyone she wanted.

I am not saying it was not legal. She did what she thought she had to do to protect herself from her “boys.”

My sister must have spent 10 years on mom. Us boys had our lives to live. We were there for our mother but we were not her little boys that she could rule. My sister became her best friend, etc.

Hope this is clearer

Peace brothers

[Anonymous 43]

what a clusterf~~~.

as with all betrayal, just walk away.
I would ask for 1 dollar. give jane everything but that one dollar. cut it up and share with brothers and frame each piece.

that piece and the story that goes with it is now the most valuable possession you own.

you and your brothers never speak to jane ever again. she is dead to you.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

The money isn’t really the biggest thing. My mom had my father’s generational items and her parents items. This is beyond their personal items.

For instance my mom’s mom had thousands of projector reels and photo negatives of generations of our relatives. Also thousands of family photos. The agreement was to get everything digitized. It’s even in the will.

Everything is gone. It would cost us thousands of dollars fighting in court. The judge sees hundreds of probate cases. The judge, she doesn’t care. It is a line item called personal property. Executor says it has been completed. Done.

My niece had given her high school yearbook to grandma. Mom wanted to show her friends. My niece said okay grandma, I’ll pick it up in a few weeks.

Her grandmother (my mom) dies. Yearbook is gone.

Niece asks her father, “why won’t aunt Jane give me my yearbook back?”

I know this sounds petty but it was her senior yearbook. She was valavectorian, class president, etc and it was signed by her friends. It matters to her.

This is where I point out something to people. You can’t force someone to be a decent person. But, you don’t have to associate with them either.

Peace brothers

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

More back story. Life must have sucked for our baby sister.

All of her older brothers graduated from college. We all have successful lives. Some own businesses.

Growing up her brother’s names were always in the sport section with some type of accolade. Dad would always be bragging about his “boys”, etc

It is hard for me to understand resentment. I was my brothers biggest cheerleader and they mine. All thru our lives we have been competitive. But there was never any hate.

My sister got pregnant at 16, forced to marry hillbilly boy. They lived in my parents rental units and she worked in parents business. And claimed welfare.

It is now clear, all of the hatred she feels for her brother’s is because we escaped to live our lives.

Gentleman, the only one that is responsible for your life is you.

No f~~~s given!

I guess the point of me telling this story is not for advice on how I should deal with my sister. (she is quite dead to us boys) Rather, it is a lesson in the nature of women. My father predicted it before he died.

All women are like that. Even my mother and sister. I don’t hate them. They both were/are who they are.

When you deal with women it shouldn’t come as a surprise when disaster ensues.

Peace brothers

[Anonymous 43]

it is a shame that you lost all of the family history stuff. it may seem callous and crude for a stranger on the internet to tell you to walk away from all the sentimental stuff. it is that sentiment that holds you hostage. once little sis realizes she can’t use it as leverage against you, she may give it up for free.

understand that you and your brothers success in life is your parent’s true legacy, not a box of pictures. learning the bitter lesson of betrayal only cost you and your bros $20k each. you got that lesson cheap.

walk steady

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Anonymous wrote:

it is a shame that you lost all of the family history stuff. it may seem callous and crude for a stranger on the internet to tell you to walk away from all the sentimental stuff. it is that sentiment that holds you hostage. once little sis realizes she can’t use it as leverage against you, she may give it up for free.

understand that you and your brothers success in life is your parent’s true legacy, not a box of pictures. learning the bitter lesson of betrayal only cost you and your bros $20k each. you got that lesson cheap.

walk steady

Yes, we walked away.

The probate case will never close because the probate lawyer will never submit the final accounting to the court. He will never set a date. The judge does not monitor individual probate cases. A judge works whatever is on their docket that day and then they go home.

We have to wait until one of three things happen.
1. Judge dies or gets reassigned.
2. Lawyer dies and maybe it helps.
3. Sister dies and accountant brother is appointed executor.

In any case we are way down road. Every few months I group text my bro#2 and ask for an update. He replies, “your sister is still a POS”

Peace brothers

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