Gents,
I’d throw this out there to anyone reading this who is and still considering getting married. GET A PRE-NUPTUAL AGREEMENT. I got married for the first time a little later in life, and had enough time to see friends get divorced, looted and left penniless with their children stolen. I dated and had multiple long term relationships. To be fair, several ended on account of bad behavior on my part. But others ended fitting virtually 1:1 with the cooker cutter fomula(s) offered up for analysis on this website. One woman even left me while I was in Iraq – engagement ring bought, date set, invitations out, families had met, etc. – dumped me for her doctor after she got pregnant. She traded up. A few years later, I ended up dating a woman with a s~~~ job and no prospects, but dripping honey. I was getting a little older, a little calmer, and decided it was time. She quit her job and moved in with me. Just before getting married, a boyfriend of hers contacted me to protect me from her. He provided solid evidence he was telling the truth about her. Now, call me an idiot for it…but instead of dumping her, I put a pre-nup in front of her and told her the wedding was off if she didn’t sign it. She took a calculated risk quitting her job and uprooting her life to be with me and that risk blew up in her face. With no real options, short of moving back in with her parents, she signed the agreement.
I found out a little bit later, this time in Afghanistan, that the scope of her infidelity before we were married was greater than I’d suspected, but by then it didn’t matter. The pre-nup had literally disarmed her. My assets, my children, my pension, and my sanity are all mine. There’s even a no alimony clause in it. I’ve never opened an account with her in her name. And the properties I’ve purchased in the years since are all in my name. Not surprisingly, she does not work. I’m okay with this, she keeps the home, and has gotten good at it over the years. I make the the money. In the first couple years, when we were still figuring things out, she complained bitterly about the pre-nup – and we all know why that is. Shortly after that, realizing if she were to leave me, she would actually have to earn her own way in the world she asked me if she could go to school. I told her, quite generously I think, that if she continued to keep the house, I’d be glad to pay for her school. She never took me up on the offer, thus demonstrating that she did not have the will to establish the kind of base that would be required to leave me. Her only hope to leave now would be to find an alpha that was willing to scoop her up in my place – a course of action fraught with tremendous risk on account of the fact she’d have to leave me first, and thus hazard the alpha reneging on any agreements they made in the interim.
Beyond that, she has a daughter from when she was very young. I refused to adopt. And though I care for the kid gladly, I’m beholden legally in no way to the little urchin. I know my children are mind – blood tests proved that. They were quite expensive at the time, but still at most 1/10 of what it would cost to raise a child – a worthwhile investment in my opinion.
What have I gotten in return for my cold rationality? Well, honestly, a lot of s~~~ at first. But in the end, the mechanics and incentives in place are utterly fair. And because I’m actually an honorable man, and will not cheat on her or leave her capriciously, my wife enjoys the benefits of good living without having to work herself. And the division of labor between my working, and her keeping the house and family is actually somewhat equitable. I suppose she could always get bored and cheat on me. But if she did that, I could leave her without a care in the world. And now that she’s gotten older, and her sex-price has dropped, you can tell she’s starting to understand that its not all that bad of a deal.
Marriage, as a legal construct, as it is currently defined in most states of the U.S. is utterly insane. If I could go back and do it all over again, I’d stay single. But looking back on it, the pre-nup is almost certainly the single biggest reason my marriage has lasted. And its lasted under some fairly awful beginning circumstances. I realize most everyone will think I’m insane for going through with it like I did. In truth, I was tired of it all, more than anything else, and couldn’t imagine being alone my entire life at the time. So I put in place the proper, sane and rational protections of myself and my lifes work into place, and it worked out.
I also had low expectations going in – as you can all well guess, I’m a fighting man by trade and learned a long time ago that men simply can’t form the kind of bonds with women that they can with one another. If you believe you’re ever going to find your soul-mate NOWALT, more power to you, but I think the odds are very, very low. But you can still find a wife and a mother. That’s easy enough. But you have to follow the old addage that boxers live by “Protect yourself at all times”
Get a pre-nup.
MgtowWave 4 years, 8 months ago.
