Premises for Survivng a Divorce

[ChuddoxParticipant 585]

Not all men in the Manosphere have suffered through the indignities of a divorce (Full disclosure: Myself included). I thought I might put together a sort of “disaster survival plan” for men. This is based off a series of premises I’ve developed while observing the marriages of friends and co-workers collapse and detonate in cataclysmic cosmic displays. A word though, before I begin, about legality. I do not presume to be an EXPERT on the law, and cannot hope to cover the legal variables present with every jurisdiction. I don’t claim that every, or any of these practices are legal in every, or any legal jurisdiction. I do not condone or advise the use of any tactics where they might be illegal.

Apart from anything I might write, it is important FOR YOU to understand your local laws. It is important to understand not only the Legal statute, which is how the law is worded, but also the case law surrounding the statute, which is how the is applied within the context of your specific jurisdiction. Just because you think a law reads a certain way, does not mean that judges have traditionally ruled in that direction. In fact, most judges are reluctant to rule in a fashion contrary to the interpretation set forth by judges before them. In short, if a law has already been ruled on a certain way, you can expect the majority of judges to tow the line on that interpretation.

With this in mind I present my first few Premises. These are put into place with the idea that YOU will be filing for divorce pre-emptively. Filing preemptively gives you the initiative and helps put her off guard. It won’t last long, and will probably make her into a nasty man-hating c~~~…oh wait, she already is. Humor aside, this takes discipline and resolve to follow through with, and more than a little bit of guile.

The first premise, I think, is to protect yourself. One thing I’ve learned is record, and document. Digital voice recorders are small, inexpensive and have reasonably good pick up. If she says or does crazy s~~~, record it. Keep that recorder out of sight. IN MOST STATES only one party in a conversation needs to know they are being filmed, or recorded. Nanny cams are smaller, more affordable and better than ever. You can more readily avoid domestic violence allegations (or press your own) with a few handy precautions. Save your data. Get some cloud storage. Burn some DVD’s. Anything you can do to archive your interactions. When you break the news she may (will) flip her s~~~. She will say horrible things to (about) you. Even seemingly innocuous interactions are worth keeping record of. In court SHE is the (default) victim. It is not up to her to prove something happened, no matter what the justice system says. It is up to you to prove that it didn’t. When you cannot keep a recording, keep a journal, or log, of events. A private email, or other form of digital record that is off site is preferred. This will help you construct a proper accounting of events should it be needed. Times and dates are important. The more specific you can be, and the more unwavering your narrative is, the more truthful it appears. Keeps records, It will always help you out.

The second premise is to protect your assets. In this way you need to live like a criminal, and a spy. You need a “safe space” (LoL, I know right?). I would recommend you get, at least, a storage locker, and a safe within it. Pay for these things in cash, or, when necessary prepaid credit cards. They are anonymous and if she charts the finances then she can’t track these purchases. Memorize your CC numbers, you can use them in many online purchases without physically needing the card. Try to keep your assets liquid, keep them in cash, and start saving a “rainy day” fund in cash stored within the safe. When the dust settles and the s~~~ storm is over you’ll need these funds to help rebuild your life. Remember, cash is next to impossible to track so when her lawyer tries to eviscerate your accounts you can know that no matter how bad it gets you have something to fall back on. Get a storage unit. Make a list (mental or physical) of stuff you that is important to you. DO NOT keep any evidence of this around her or your

home. Before you make you make your move in serving her papers take what she will not notice, and move it to your storage unit. Marital property cannot be stolen as it is considered “owned” by both parties so you are free to “dispose” of it as you see fit. “Sell” important items to a trusted friend, if you have one, for next to nothing. I once had a friend who was planning to divorce sell me both his car and his computer months before he planned to file. This is binding, and removes assets from your need to list them provided it happened within a “good faith” period prior to the divorce. If you have no such trusted friend, SHUT YOUR F~~~ING MOUTH about what is going on. Her friends are not Your friends, no matter what. Women win in sympathy, and social situations nearly universally

Avoid your safe space, and your squirreled resources like they were a pussy on the rag with a yeast infection during any court proceeding. She will be mad, and she will suspect you of withholding from her greedy little mitts. It is, after all, what she would do (and consequentially, you are). She may have you investigated for cheating, or any number of other things, and you don’t want them to (inadvertently) discover the steps you have taken to mitigate the damage she is about to do to you. It is tempting I think, to feel shame for being so subversive. I urge you not to feel this way. She won’t hold back when she tries to take you for everything.

The third premise is protect your reputation. The primary means of this is to assassinate her character as hard as she will attempt to assassinate yours. Court cases are only partly won by evidence, the rest of it is the art of making your opponent look like the bigger s~~~bag. Be sure to highlight her faults, her misuse to of marital funds, her poor credit decisions, her lack of a job, education or anything else you can exploit. Make her the “bad guy”. You are not friends, and she will not spare any less effort. ASK FOR EVERYTHING. Ask for the kids, Ask for the house, Ask for all of your s~~~ that you paid for. Too many men approach this from the viewpoint of trying to make an equitable split. She doesn’t care. She doesn’t care if you are slaving 80 hours a week and living in a box to pay her what she “deserves”. CHALLENGE her assertions that she deserves it. Show how she doesn’t, attack her claims of victimhood (see Premise 1). You won’t win every point, but good record keeping, and a good attack may save you from LOSING as much ground as you otherwise might have.

These premises are simply preparation for up to and including the proceedings, but they hold true to after the divorce as well. For example keep track of every expense you incur on behalf of any children. If you can show you are already a primary/significant provider, then child support, in some cases can be reduced or removed. Keep a record of your interactions with her around custody exchanges. If she is nasty, vile or spiteful, then record it. Custody can be challenged. If she is abusive, then document it, and file for Protection orders and use those to get custody. Show she is unfit to mother your children. A care provider is often cheaper then child support.

Work “odd jobs” for cash. This doesn’t mean doing peoples yard work, it means exploit whatever skills you have freelance for hard currency. This can’t be garnished by the Court , and is pretty untraceable. Use prepaid credit cards if you have to, and live inexpensively where you can.

In the end, none of this is foolproof. The court can (and will) rule for her still more often than not. Everyone involved (Her lawyer, Your lawyer, and Her) all get richer at your expense. The bit of wisdom I have to share is after 10 years of dealing with the legal system is: It is not about getting out Scott-free. It is too late for that. Right now it is about mitigating the loss and taking the “least bad” options.

Please feel free to comment, add to, or criticize. As MGTOW I can hope for no less from you.

“Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing.” - Robert E. Howard

[ChuddoxParticipant 585]

A few points I wanted to add. In Premise 1, if you are having an argument try to move it to an area where its being filmed, so if she escalates it will be captured. Also, center yourself and exercise control over your emotions. Calmer heads typically prevail, and if you are calm, rational, and consistent then you are far more likely to be percieved as a credible witness than a perpetrator.

“Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing.” - Robert E. Howard

[experiencedParticipant]

A coworker was destroyed in divorce court via his “ex’ planting spying devices in the home. She knew his every move beforehand. Invest in a scanner to detect these devices or ascertain that your private investigator has one or will get one if you chip in. Check that your computers don’t have keystroke spyware etc. She will attempt to steal your texts records as well as your phone records. Get a disposable phone. Think now about where you will live totally off the grid if the situation demands it or is improved by it.
Lawyers and private investigators do not always have a symbiotic relationship. Sometimes they compete for your money rather than admit that having the two of them working together is best. You have to lead here, and in some cases it is far more than worth it.
Cash – put away more than you think you’ll ever need. You can’t fight a boxing match while running a marathon.
The system is designed to put you on the ropes financially while she destroys you with its bias.
You have to have the resources to stay minimally refreshed and fight back.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[ChuddoxParticipant 585]

Thanks for the input, I didn’t really spend enough time on how much to keep and what to use it for. The post was pretty lengthy. I might expound upon it later.

“Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing.” - Robert E. Howard

[RoyDalParticipant]

There may be a useful hint in this thread: /forums/topic/mgtow-is-here-for-men-when-its-time-for-divorce/

Full disclosure: I’ve never been married, so my breakups involved little more than dividing our paperback book collection, and me moving out & staying away.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Author]

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