Post-Introduction

[NoMoreParticipant 1233]

I’ve been here for almost a year and a half. During that time I’ve almost finalized my divorce. I am still waiting on a few amendments to be addressed.

Here’s the story…

I’m finishing up my medical training as an emergency medicine physician. Met a sweet and funny female. We get married after my training is completed, something that may have helped a little. Two and a half years in, we have a kid. Things begin to sour as the stress of caring for an infant overwhelms her ability to hide her likely borderline personality disorder. We go to marriage counseling. I follow his advice and make changes to help improve our marriage. She does nothing and continues to treat me like s~~~.

After a year and a half of counseling and no change on her part, I’ve had enough. She comes home from a 10 day vacation with our son and her parents to Florida and goes off on me for not completing her honey-do list she left. I explain that I worked all but 2 of the days she was gone and there was no way I could get it all done as it’s the middle of winter. She yells that she wants a divorce. I pack up my essentials and move 15 minutes away to my brother’s house.

She contacts me the next day to ask if I will come home and talk things out. I agree to separate and she says she’s going to move with our kid 7 hours away and is not coming back. I told her that getting divorced is our only option then. We agreed to sit down in a week and discuss the division of assets. A week later we sit down, she wants everything. I realized I needed a lawyer as the things she was wanting would leave me destitute. How foolish I was to hope the legal system would help me.

I’ve now experience the hatred the family court system has for men and male doctors.

I played fair. I offered her half of everything, which included a large chunk of cash, over 6 figures. We went to mediation. The female mediation lawyer came back to our room and told us not to waste our time. That my STBxW was so far in left field regarding a fair settlement, there was no point in continuing discussions. I’m thinking that I have a good shot at getting a fair settlement.

How wrong I was.

We appear in court. She gets to tell her half truths and lies. This self-proclaimed Christian woman lies to the judge about me asking to see our kid on my days off. She denies ever refusing to let me see our kid. She laments that I chose to work over a family vacation, neglecting to mention that it was 10 days starting the day after Christmas and through the New Year. I cannot get that kind of time off during the holidays.

Endless weeks waiting for the judgement.

When I finally get the judgement, I ask my lawyer if I had done something to personally offend the judge. He says he’s talked to fellow lawyers and even they can’t agree that the decision is fair.

She gets;
1. 80% of the equity in the house paid in lump sum, well over 6 figures. She claimed a realtor told her how much the house was worth and that was what she based her number off of. I submitted an appraisal done two years prior to refinance the house. Both were thrown out because apposing counsel couldn’t cross examine the witness. The court doesn’t care about the tens of thousands of dollars I have to spend to repair the damage and neglect she has done to the house.
2. $2700 in child support a month for one child
3. $1900 a month in alimony for 2 years
4. $17,000 for her legal fees. My legal fees were much less than 10k and hers were over 30k, because she kept filing useless motions that were denied.
5. I am 100% liable for any and all medical/dental expenses for our kid. No incentive for her not to encumber me with unneeded expenses.

I met with my counselor today and he shook his head. He told me that this was the worst story he’s been a part of. I replied, “Yes, I played fair and did xyz to make sure she and our kid didn’t suffer during this ordeal. However, I now see what playing nice and treating people fairly results in. You will get taken advantage of, by her, her lawyer, and the court.”

With the home equity buy out, child support, and alimony, she can live as middle class for the next 14 years without ever having an income herself. Meanwhile, I have to budget paying back my student loans, which are funding this farce, my mortgage, and remaining bills.

This is the game you should avoid. A game where you assume all of the risks and she reaps all of the rewards.

A co-worker recently told me, "If you want to see who someone really is, divorce them." I have found out how true this is. When your wife drops the façade of being the caring partner, you will witness all of the greed, hate, and spite that she has masked. It is truly breathtaking!

[AposematicParticipant 2671]

Is that even a divorce Bro?

Basically the court says give her more than she would have had in marriage!

You are 100% correct that an intelligent physician is scorned by the system.
Might be partly that we can see everything for what it is.

Afinogyny.. from the Greek Afino {to abandon/ to set down/ to leave /to allow/ to let } + Gyny {Women} MGHOW’s philosophy to not engage women without “hating them”. Narcorca =Narcissistic Orca typically spouting to a bathroom mirror taking an arms length selfie ; Wallinate describes post wall females whose SMV is terminally negligible New Years resolution "To not make women happy" . Instadestitue: yet another Neologism for Men that cohabit with women that decide to pull the handle of intervention orders.

[Anonymous 38]

$4600 a month? Jesus Christ. I’d kill the bitch.

[Vajra VarahaParticipant 1284]

Welcome home brother.

When I was a med student, an ER doc I trained with invited over to hang out. He was living in this dingy one bedroom apartment. A chair a couch and a bed. That’s was it. I asked why? Wife turned middle aged and one day decided to divorce him. He never cheated. Never yelled. Never raised a hand. She was just bored she said. Took the house, three kids, everything and practically all his earnings. He moved to a rural desperate town to make enough to pay her while he lived in poverty.

We are not alone….

[Anonymous 3]

A nightmare. Incredible what can happen to a man in 2018

[ChristopherParticipant 2478]

Oh man that is unjust and your ex sounds like a narc. Some might even say if your cannot afford $4600 per month (?) you would be justified in leaving the country/building a life elsewhere/retaining your own sovereignty and sending what money you can afford for the child BUT the problem with that is you would probably not get to see the child.

Your ex will largely use the money you send to finance HER own life and you owe her NOTHING – in a more ideal world imho it would be possible to pay the childs’ costs directly or provide the child with a lump sum when 18 so the money gets directly to the child.

Feminism was funded by bankers/politicians to create more taxpayers. MGTOW IS FREEDOM https://archive.org/details/mgtowisfreedomblurayready

[D.B.D.Participant 889]

I think I’m gonna throw up. Gawd damn that’s a real life horror story! No man should have to go through that.
Another stellar example of why to never get married and avoid women. And it all started with “Met a sweet and funny female.”
They’re apparently all monsters using their monster systems.

[Lone Wolf83Participant 825]

I learned in nursing school that prevention is the best treatment. I apply this philosophy in my life outside of work which works wonders as well. By not marrying, you won’t go through a divorce.

If it has tits or tires, you know you're going to have problems.

[NoMoreParticipant 1233]

It’s a scam.

I tried to work my custody around her work and school schedule. In court, she timelines to the minute how much time I spent with our kid. No mention of her refusals to accommodate my schedule, ‘because the pendente lite [court order] says so.’ No mention of me rocking our kid to sleep in the middle of the night, while separated, because she has to take a test.

No consideration that paying her 6 figures probably means she doesn’t need 2 years of rehabilitative alimony. Getting a lump sum of 4 years average income should negate the need for rehabilitative alimony. I can now share the celebration with May 6, 2020 regarding payments, but not the emotional loss.

This was a s~~~ show enabled by the family courts. I hope the judge atones in this life or the next.

A co-worker recently told me, "If you want to see who someone really is, divorce them." I have found out how true this is. When your wife drops the façade of being the caring partner, you will witness all of the greed, hate, and spite that she has masked. It is truly breathtaking!

[AposematicParticipant 2671]

NoMore, what income is she rocking anyway?

Afinogyny.. from the Greek Afino {to abandon/ to set down/ to leave /to allow/ to let } + Gyny {Women} MGHOW’s philosophy to not engage women without “hating them”. Narcorca =Narcissistic Orca typically spouting to a bathroom mirror taking an arms length selfie ; Wallinate describes post wall females whose SMV is terminally negligible New Years resolution "To not make women happy" . Instadestitue: yet another Neologism for Men that cohabit with women that decide to pull the handle of intervention orders.

[NoMoreParticipant 1233]

Aposematic wrote:

NoMore, what income is she rocking anyway?

She made close to 6 figures when we were dating. While married I put her back through school. Six months after filing for divorce she went back to work making $30k. I got grilled because my income went down. I had to try and explain medical reimbursement and bonus schedules to the judge, which I’m sure he dozed off during.

The judge said in the decree that since there was such a huge difference in our income, the court did not have to follow standard child support calculations. The judge awarded her more child support than she asked for in her detailed monthly budget. She literally said, I need $X a month and the judge decided, nah, you need $500 more than that.

Sorry to rant, but I’m dumbfounded by this judge’s decision. I played by their rules and stayed above the table. I knew I was going to get screwed, but I hoped to do some damage control. Might as well have been p~~~ing into the wind.

A co-worker recently told me, "If you want to see who someone really is, divorce them." I have found out how true this is. When your wife drops the façade of being the caring partner, you will witness all of the greed, hate, and spite that she has masked. It is truly breathtaking!

[Vajra VarahaParticipant 1284]

Lone Wolf83 wrote:

I learned in nursing school

You know, when I first entered the medical field when I was 19, before I became a physician, I had a really hard time getting my head around the idea of a male nurse. Aren’t women caring and motherly? LOL. After 20 years, my best and easiest work days were when I had a male nurse working in tandem to get the job done. No damn agenda. No damn headaches. No weird drama. No games. Stress levels were always 10% compared to dealing with a female nurse. And there was no problems with smiling and joking. I actually enjoyed the work day. But those were rare days indeed in the feminist controlled medical fields….

[Handsome VicParticipant 1613]

First off, sorry to hear. Appreciate you posting your story here.

Your experience is yet another example of how unfair the “family court” system is. It is a shakedown scheme, to re-distribute wealth and earnings to women and lawyers under the high-minded guise of “fairness”.

It’s purpose seems to be to enrich lawyers and to keep women from becoming the governments burden, to hell with fairness, incentive or concern for the actual welfare of children.

Most men don’t investigate, learn — and simply can’t believe — how bad it is. Until an LTR breaks down, and then they are caught up in it. Your past savings, your future earnings, even your freedom — all are suddenly at risk. You will almost certainly lose a large share of some or all of these.

Men, read the stories like this one.

Don’t marry, don’t cohabitate.

Don’t.

I'm going my own way. Maybe I'll see you there.

[Author]

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