Please advise..Another Family Court Date coming up

[RebalancedParticipant 346]

I’m due to appear in the family courts in a weeks time and would appreciate any advice from my fellow MGTOWS on how best to resolve the following dilemma:

A brief background, this is the 4th year of me taking my ex through the courts trying to get some kind of semblance to normal contact with my sons (10 and 6), I have had contact orders made in my favor which repeatedly get broken with no penalizing of my ex (not surprised). I had pretty much come to the conclusion that its time for an ultimatum, either:

1) Proper contact (I see them less than 10% of the month currently and have to make 4 journeys back and forth for this, no overnight contact as the judge left it to us to resolve, although it clearly couldn’t be and had already been 2 yrs in the legal system at the point, which was a short while before he got sacked and exposed in all the newsapapers for watching porn) or option 2:

2) I can’t go through this anymore and wait till they are older and free of the witch’s control (and are hopefully not too fully parentally alienated and messed up, the eldest one is already messed up and suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, even lied to cover his mother about her severely beating him and his siblings).

Is it better to have some contact rather than none in these circumstances?

 

 

 

 

I don't need pussy

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

We can’t help you unless we know where you are. Which country and state/province are you in?

If you’re in the US here’s some info. You need a good lawyer. http://ncfm.org/get-help/services/

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[RebalancedParticipant 346]

Thanks CC, I’m in the U.K

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[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

Chambers & Partners
39-41 Parker Street
London
WC2B 5PQ
Tel: +44 (020) 7606 8844
Fax: +44 (020) 7831 5662

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"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[SteveParticipant 462]

I’m not experienced in this but my gut says go along to the family court hearing anyway. It’s booked in already. See what you get from the hearing first.

You don’t have to go to your option 2 yet, wait and see what is or is not on the table.

You mentioned she is beating your boys, I couldn’t allow that to happen. I would stop that from happening with or without the courts blessing.

Sorry to hear of your situation, keep posting on here as you work through it.

If you did want to mention your ultimatum at the family court, keep it until the end. Get as much on the table as you can first? You might find after dropping the option 2 you might get a little more.

Dig deep man.

 

[RoyDalParticipant]

Crazy Canuck wrote:

You need a good lawyer.

He is right. Get a good lawyer.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Do you have the contact order at hand?

If you do …. does it carry a ‘power of arrest’ warrant?

If not …  apply to have this attached to the order.

This means if she refuses contact again you can call the police and have them turn up.

Also it is recorded on record.

You say the UK but not Scotland I hope. Different rules there.

[RebalancedParticipant 346]

@Progenitor

Thanks for the advice, its definitely helping me lean more towards going to the court date. As regards the beating that was stopped and you’re right, with or without a courts blessing somethings just have to be done, for now the abuse is emotional/mental etc.

@iliveagain, thanks, I’m not in Scotland. I don’t have the order to hand, it just has the warning notice but not an enforcement order, I will definitely press to have that in place to, although it seems judges are still too reluctant to penalise in most cases of breached contact orders (even repeated breaches).

 

 

 

I don't need pussy

[RebalancedParticipant 346]

Thanks Roydal, I’m on the case with that one definitely.

I don't need pussy

[experiencedParticipant]

Since she’s beating your boys, they must assertively communicate this to the judge. “Is this what your dad said to say? “NO, he told us to tell you the truth!” “and to make sure that you listened and got THE truth.”

If the truth is that they feel unsafe, then they must tell the judge this.

For what it’s worth, the literally best divorce attorney (a reputation as a pitbull) told me that as ‘plan B’ if all else fails, if my child kept physically coming to me, there’s not all that much she can do.  It is what it is, at least as applies here in the US.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[RebalancedParticipant 346]

“Since she’s beating your boys, they must assertively communicate this to the judge. “Is this what your dad said to say? “NO, he told us to tell you the truth!” “and to make sure that you listened and got THE truth.”

I appreciate your words Experienced.I did actually record what my eldest son was telling me of the beatings a few years back (he was 7 at the time), social services spoke to him and he said he doesn’t get beat, so I sent them the recording and told them to listen to them and ask him again, in their report they say he admitted to being beaten, saying it leaves a mark when he gets beat but then they said he went on to say it doesn’t leave a mark, so as it wasn’t clear they didn’t take it further (I was criticised for recording my son though of course). He was also asked do I beat him and told them ‘no he doesn’t’ My ex had a friend in social services aiding her and even lying in court (caught red handed by the judge but again not penalised) so that made the whole case worse. Alongwith her lies to the Police among other things.

At least this time, its CAFCASS (who have a bad track record also I know) who will be dealing with it and not her friend in Social Services.

I don't need pussy

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Rebalanced wrote:

@iliveagain, thanks, I’m not in Scotland. I don’t have the order to hand, it just has the warning notice but not an enforcement order, I will definitely press to have that in place to, although it seems judges are still too reluctant to penalise in most cases of breached contact orders (even repeated breaches).

It is in ‘The best interest of the child’ to have contact with both parents.

The court is aiding the mother to alienate the child from the father ‘if’ the court does NOT bring to bare the appropriate enforcement.

This is child abuse. Plain and simple.

I got nowhere until I stood up in court and just plain said… “for christs sake do something so this child can have as normal a life a possible. Do your job and think what is going on and correct it”

I got arrest clause attached.

Sometimes you just got to snap these idiots out of their legal stuper.

I know it’s a risk but what’s the alternative?

At the very least you can say you fought for your kids …. and they will know that when they get older.

Tell you solicitors to pull their finger out and go for the throat.

Nice gets you nothing in family court.

Bombard her with legal papers. Keep writing to child welfare about her. Bombard her.

Does she work? Pay the right tax? Unpaid parking fines?

Flood her life with tons of s~~~ like that until she understands that when you get your visits … all that stops. ….. when you dont get visits …. it starts up again.

Make her life as miserable as she makes yours.

Sorry … but its war and your kids are the weapons for her.

 

 

[RebalancedParticipant 346]

I feel you on what you’re saying there. Its definitely war and being nice won’t do it. I have a lot of paperwork, audio/video recordings already, although the general stance of these courts (as I’m sure you’re aware) is such evidence is inadmissible even though its often the only thing that incriminates/exonerates.  At least if I can leave a lot of evidence for my sons to see when they are older, the truth will be known to them one day.

I don't need pussy

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

[RebalancedParticipant 346]

Spoke to CAFCASS earlier this week and got a copy of their ‘safeguarding’ report today. The reporter was actual pretty neutral in their reporting (solicitor agreed) although the report was full of lies from the ex as usual.I made it clear that I can’t keep making so many journeys in one day just to see them twice in a month and that unless contact reverts to over night then I cannot continue with the current situation.

Among the lies my ex is saying is that the eldest doesn’t want to come anymore and hasn’t come for quite a few months (funny how he came a few weeks back and she put it in a text that he wanted to come then!) Judges generally don’t do anything when a woman lies in court though so I doubt my pointing that out will make much of a difference.

She is so happy in her life clearly, that she is back swimming at the bottom of the barrel known as pof.com, has put on loads of weight and is back to smoking again. Any person who had some kind of inner peace/contentment in their life would clearly not be trying to destroy someone else and their own childrens wellbeing (as well as herself -which I hope she does sooner rather than later).

Final date at court is next week, I quit with the system after that date, having spent 4 years fighting to be a part of my childrens lives.

Found this quite useful regarding parental alienation:

In particular where the poster says in the comments: “How does an alienated parent cope?” Well, thats probably different for most parents. There is a bond/attachment between two persons involved, the parent and the child. Depending on the child’s behavior there are mainly two  different  ways to deal with this.  1. Fight for contact with the child in an never ending battle with the narcissistic other parent. 2. Leave the child alone with the PAS parent. I myself, tried 1) in 14 years, through 13 court’s and even though she was sentenced to pay 1000 NOK for every day the child lost visitation, she ended up paying nothing by claiming “The child did not want to visit me”! The childcare, the psychologists and the court  was manipulated. When she brought me to court for the 14 time, i just told the court i don’t play her games anymore and left the court. The ruling “The child can decide  for it self when to come”. Of course PAS-children don’t have a mind of their own. And that was the last i saw of my daughter 2 years ago. Today i go by 2), i leave my daughter  alone with her mother. Maybe one day she will se what her mother has put her through? I can’t describe the pain inside me, i’ve probably displaced it in order to survive, I don’t know. Her sister, living with me  has reduced contact with her too”

 

 

 

 

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[RebalancedParticipant 346]

Did have an update on this but seems this thread has died.

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