pi$$ed off and down, need encouragement and guidance

[pharmerParticipant 407]

I don’t like to indulge this stuff but it’s getting to me lately
Well the legal settlement should only be a week or so away. That’s the god news.
The thing is the longer I go the more I get p~~~ed off about everything, and to be honest a bit depressed. I didn’t want a damn thing from her when we split. I’f I was starving I’d eat dirt rather than take a dollar from her. Yet she still chased the cash hard altho she hardly ever worked a paid job while we were together. I do all the cooking and cleaning she used to do plus a full time job with 2 kids underfoot so it’s not like she was some kind of domestic superhero ffs.
So she’s walking away with all of hers (40k) and every last cent of my savings and some cashed up life insurance. I fought and just managed to keep the home for so me and the kids could have an ounce of stability. They are still young and I’m trying to keep things stable for them. I’ve got some very expensive dental work coming up for my daughter and you can bet she won’t put a dine in for this to spite her new found wealth. Meanwhile she has an on and off engagement with some random mangina.
How can anyone just be so greedy and self centered. She actually thinks she has a right to all of this. I’ts fukn insane.
Half my life is gone spent trying to make that situation work, trying to make her happy. What a hideous fukn mistake. I’m half way to dead and starting from near zero.
I know there are a lot of guys out there who have it way worse. It just p~~~es me off so bad that I worked my ass off. Worked big hours at a job I hated and put so much effort into that relations~~~ it made me ill. I was so close to putting a shotgun in my mouth several times. And in return she cleans my life out like its her personal piggy bank. I had ~35k in savings before I met her. the longer we were together to poorer I got. How the fuk is that contributing?!?!
Ironically I’m not p~~~ed off at her actions. Don’t get me wrong I think she’s a cash chasing fkn psycho bitch, but sh’e only doing what comes naturally to her, looking after her self and fuking over everyone else. I’t would be like being angry at the sun for shining or the wind for blowing.
I’m p~~~ed off at me because I didn’t see it sooner.
I’m p~~~ed off at the world because this is the way things are and it’s normal
I think the joy of discovering MGTOW has worn off for me. It is the right way. It is the only way if you want freedom and autonomy. Just I’m beginning to realise the horror of the post feminist wasteland that lies before me. And the fact that I have to live in it and raise kids in it.
Where do you go from here? what do you do?

Never fuck a crazy chick.

[Anonymous 18]

Brother you have your kids. Your health. And your sanity.

She did you a favor. As much as things seem like s~~~ it is ground zero to build whatever there is you can build. Even if its jack s~~~. She ain’t part of it. And you can’t look back while moving forward. I was in a place where denying the reality of what was happening around me seemed like a better choice than standing up and calling things for what they truly were. This pain is part of the new reality. I can only use empty words but strength and hope with time do tend to sort crappy situations out.

You don’t have the cancer of that woman in your life, but the wounds are painful and fresh. It will heal.

And anger is your enemy. It’s her gift to you. You can either unwrap it and use it to define yourself, or throw it in a corner and deal with it when you have the strength to open it, deal with the painful memories one last time, and finally dump it in trash and move the f~~~ on.

Time. When going through hell, keep going.

We are here for you.

[Soldier-MedicParticipant 2566]

pharmer wrote:

I’m p~~~ed off at me because I didn’t see it sooner.

Okay, My brother just went through a divorce and the greed displayed by your future ex in on par with what my brother had to contend with. My brother would say that when the divorce happens you find out what that person is really like.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. We (men) have been indoctrinated from the start to look after our women and do s~~~ for them, yadda yadda yadda.

I also believe that there is more than a little biology at play here also.

The divorce is going through. You get the house, and I assume the kids. You have won my friend.

The only mistake you can make after this is if you let yourself fall for the same bulls~~~ again.

Okay, now a lesson that my brother taught me. My brother has this ability to “Nothing” another person. That is to say that he has the ability to lock someone out of his life mentally as well as physically. I never had this ability until just recently.

I have realized that his ability to walk away from someone is rooted in his immovable sense of self worth. I have only just recently discovered my self worth. When you realize just how much value you have, then it becomes easier to dismiss a callous, gold digging, small minded person. Easy to say, and harder to do. I understand this.

The best revenge is to live well and be happy.

"I asked you a question. I didn't ask you to repeat what the voices in you head are telling you" ~ Me. ........Yes I'm still angry.

[Anonymous 42]

Hey pharmer, stay focused on “one foot in front of the other”, thank GOD you’re away from “psycho bitch”, she has a destination ticket already punched for the WALL® The bridal of slavery isn’t cheap to get off your shoulders, but the alternative is so much worse! Stop reciting the mistakes of your life over and over in your mind, doing so will free up some mental space for reprogramming your mind to a more positive tune. The gates of hell are behind you now, you’ll never be in that position again! Your testimony here may just save some poor slob from entering the gynocentric hell of modern marriage, and the tearing off of his b~~~~ through his wallet!
Only GOOD can emerge from something BAD, Something BAD can NEVER emerge from something GOOD…. And trust me, I also know the taste of gun oil, but I thank GOD I don’t know the taste of gunpowder!!!

[UntamedParticipant]

Pharmer! That’s so messed up what she’s doing! The more I read the more I got mad! Yet as you say, being mad at her is useless.
Consider her out of the way and you should make long-term plans for her to leave you and your kids alone, seriously. A psycho like that will reaper years later when you’ve done all the work as a single dad. Seek counsel once you’ve got yourself a bit more stable.
Don’t feeeeeel sad, you got your kids! That’s priceless. She’s a fool for leaving you and she’ll realise later, too late perhaps.
Realise now that you are a “single father” with all the labels that entails in our f~~~ed up world. I suggest reading up on the subject and you may find some useful tips.
It’s messed up you had to come to certain realizations this way. I hope you use the experience to advance yours and your children’s interests.

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[22DeeboiParticipant 259]

Stay strong brother. I don’t have experience with this, but Ive went through the pain of divorce as a child and its not good at all. You are my teacher as everyone else here. You have worth and you are my mentor. You have my support

[MemberParticipant 323]

As the others already said…..you have the kids and the house. You already won dude. Seriously. No one likes to pay their ex off but really it is cheaper in the long run. Your monthly bills will go down instantly just because she isn’t there anymore. The electric, water, etc will all go down so its like getting a pay bump immediately.

Most of the guys in this day and age get kicked out of their house, don’t get to see their kids much, get to pay child support AND alimony, need I go on? I know it is hard to see it that way but it could have been much worse.

Wait a while and let things settle down. It may take a long time until things feel more normal for you but it will. Take care of yourself and the kids. Cut the ex out of your life as much as possible…..kids don’t need the drama nor do you so play nice if possible. If you find a way to take care of the kids and yourself think about changing jobs somewhere down the road. Sounds like you are in need of a fresh start.

You are already winning.

[Deus Ex MachinaParticipant 1068]

Been there brother, know the feeling all too well.

Most importantly, take care of your kid, as well as your health. My Ex drained $25,000 from me in a short period of time after our divoce, all for being a bitch, liar, and side chick for some dude who could care less, meanwhile I worked my ass off, bought her a car, apartment, as well as nice things, expensive plane tickets and hotel rooms, didn’t do s~~~ for me.

Main thing now, is YOU, take care of YOU, as well as your Kid. It’s this vicious cycle Men have to go through in order to see the light or swallow the Red Pill, half the time it doesn’t end well for most guys (early age death, suicide, mental breakdown) all because we all thought “the love of our life” would grow old with us.

What a croc of s~~~, Females care only for one thing and one thing only, THEMSELVES. If it will benefit their needs, their finances, as well as their future, they will suck, f~~~, and sometimes walk over, or steal from someone to get there. a lot of people will say “well just pick up the pieces and move on”

F~~~ that, leave the pieces right where they’re at, and just go your own way. Find an outlet or hobby you enjoy, get out of a s~~~ty job, if you have contact with your ex, keep it a minimum and have it only pertain to your kids needs.

Good luck Brother.

"If You have the Tooth of a Whale, You must have the Whale's Jaw to hold it". (i.e. One Must have the right qualifications for leadership) -Hawaiian Proverb

[OgreParticipant 5863]

It doesn’t help right now but in ten years you’ll have 100 percent of the increased equity in the house, two kids that have spent the majority of their time with you, and a ten year start on catching up to where you wanted to be. If you weren’t going through all of this now you’d be slaving away to put more money in her hands, feed her desires, and getting her even more money when she sold the house. Others above me have said that you won. I agree.
If she still listens to you at all encourage her to find a real boyfriend instead of being someone’s side chick. The more distracted she is by her great new life, the more she’ll leave you alone. Once she traps another guy this will all seem like you just got these perfect little kids by using a (really expensive) surrogate.
You say that you’re mad at yourself right now. At least you aren’t all that you have. If you never repeat your mistakes then you can consider it a lesson learned. Best of luck to you. Enjoy waking up in your bed, walking to your kitchen, and kissing YOUR kids tomorrow night.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

The good ship Relations~~~ has sunk. It was a fking rust bucket anyway.

Hit a sexberg and took on greed until she went down.

You and your kids made it to the life boat. Had to leave everything and just get off.

Now …. do you fancy the paddle back to go get your stuff?

As has been said …. you’re all safe … things can be replaced.

Just ration food and water until you get picked up by S&R.

Then start your new life …. minus rust bucket.

[RedDawnParticipant 1391]

I understand that you’re angry about losing so much money, I was and I lost very little compared to most men.

But you’ve got to ask what money really is.. it’s time spent.

Yep it’s infuriating that you spent many an hour working to lose that, but you don’t have to spend time with her anymore. Instead you have more time to yourself to do things that you couldn’t otherwise do.

How much money would you spend to cut out a cancer that would save your life? That 35k doesn’t sound like so much anymore.

Also I too have felt the anguish of realising that she never truly cared. Women intrinsically have no emotion (morality) aside from the raging ego contrary to what we’ve been taught.

Welcome to the redpill, knowledge is power, but it comes at the price of the delusion of life being burst.

As has been said time will heal this pain. Think of this as a resurrection my brother, you have a new life ahead of you with many opportunities.

Exercise, meditation, learning and hobbies are much more important than sticking your dick in a wet hole. It took me over a year to accept this, with the MGTOW forums being the late catalyst.

Living passionately in the moment doing the things you love is the point.

While you may feel lonely at first, you will come to the enlightenment of the supreme feeling of peace that comes with not being in a relations~~~. I personally felt more alone in my last relations~~~ than I have ever been in my life.

Watch Paul Proteus video on youtube about ‘freedom from to freedom to’

Your MGTOW brother’s share your pain and know of the life beyond the anger.

Red.

Courage is the key to life itself - Morgan Freeman

[Truthseeker82Participant 6406]

Brother, I feel for you but you are not alone. As the comments from us men point out – you have unloaded a huge weight from your (and your kids) life. That you have your house and children is enormous. There is no fairness in the family court system. It is just a matter of luck most of the time if a man gets out with his shirt on (literally in some cases). I too have watched my 401k, savings and sanity drained over the course of my relations~~~s. Even if the sex is good, it can never make up for the emotional and financial damage dating and marriage cause a man in the modern world. The more time you spend with your children (most important) and away from your ex (least important) and focus on yourself and their needs, the sooner she will fade to black. I am nearly 20 years out of my first marriage and recovered. Kid is in medical school on his way to being a physician and I own a home and have built my career again. But after nearly two decades of peace and productivity, I let another women into my life and signed that contract. It took only a few months and all the financial and emotional pain is back – even worse this time. Shame on me for not knowing better the first time. Best of luck to you brother. We are here for you.

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

Hey pharmer, you are in a tough spot man, no two ways about it. A buddy of mine likes to say “It looks like a big s~~~ sandwich, and i gotta take a bite.”

The good thing is, as some of the brothers here have pointed out, is that once you slam into the bottom, you can only go up. So try to remember the future gets a hell of a lot brighter, even though from where you’re at now it may be tough to know what that’d look like.

I was at the bottom of the pit for a couple months during my divorce – expensive, painful, felt like it took f~~~ing forever, so i know some of what you’re going through. But it definitely *does* get better man. It gets a million f~~~ing times better, because once you get your feet back under you, you’re running the show for yourself & your kids, and no more dead weight. It’s amazing how much farther & faster you can go, how much more beautiful life can be, when you’re not fighting an anchor every f~~~ing step of the way. Think about that for a moment.

For the here/now, the other guys said it spot-on – focus on you & the kids. One foot in the front of the other, just day by day type stuff. One thing i’d add that was really helpful for me – try to tell yourself it’s ok to be p~~~ed off now, it’s ok to be angry and depressed and feel like s~~~. You got shot, so you’re gonna bleed for a while. It’s not forever. But for a little while it’s ok. It took me a lot to accept that, and it was really helpful.

It was also helpful for me to talk to close/trusted friends & family every day, and to keep myself busy (meetup.com was a godsend here).

You can also post here on a daily basis – tell us what’s up, about your experiences. It may be helpful for you, and you know it’ll be helpful for a younger guy who might be going through a similar s~~~pile in the future.

Strength & Honor, brother.

[pharmerParticipant 407]

Thanks for the replies guys, each one great. Means a hell of a lot to me. Really good vid thanks RedDawn, I recommend it to anyone who hasn’t seen it yet.
Yeah I know I’m lucky to come out of this as good as I have it. Kids are not with me legally or financially. IRD is ignoring me and somewhere along the line they became her property. I will fight it if it comes to that. Only reason I have them 95% of the time is she is too lazy to look after them. Even quit the part time course she was on to go full time benefit and afternoon naps. Not a word of a lie she loved sleeping so much there was a crater the shape of her ass on her side of the bed. I swear its the truth.
It’s not the money that p~~~es me. It’s the work it represents. The future and security it could have provided for my kids. She’s s~~~ with cash, and will be broke again in 2 years max.

Like RedDawn’s vid, I guess it’s the ‘freedom to’ that I’m trying to get a handle on. All I really wanted in my life was the white picket fence and happy family. Just kind of stunned and directionless now, and a little p~~~ed off that unicorns aren’t real, Altho that maybe hard to understand for some of you.
Thanks again guys

Never fuck a crazy chick.

[Anonymous 42]

pharmer wrote:

white picket fence and happy family.

Hey Pharmer, that “white picket fence” you mentioned; covered with the impaled bodies of feminism that fell from the balcony of the fifth decade?
Personally I like a corral fence that leads over a cliff, that way I don’t have to tolerate the constant impaling and cracking of pickets! They simply go over the cliff and become someone else’s problem! And they wonder why I won’t talk to them, slows the journey over the cliff…..

[Author]

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