Permission to come aboard!

[HammerdownParticipant 528]

Hey folks, long time reader and lurker, first time poster. Really glad to be a part of this community.

 

My story? Where to start? I never really had “success” with women until I was into my 20s. In high school I was sort of geeky and skinny, and while I had some female interest, my affections were usually unrequited. I always prided myself on my sense of humour, so I used that to defelct a lot of chatter from girls that thought I was an easy target to make fun of. I called it “The Mask”; shrug it off, be funny, take a joke. It’s only years later that I learned that The Mask has failed.

 

I’m not sure when my exact Red Pill moment was, but there’s a few events that definitely contributed. When I was 20, I had a girlfriend for the first time. We hung out, and had a lot of fun together. Then one day, she tells me she’s moving back to Kelowna (about 3 hours north of Vancouver, where I was living at the time) to be with her brother and the rest of her family. I couldn’t move with her, nor did I really want to. I understood though, and wished her luck. She made a few trips up in the months prior to her move, and she became harder to get a hold of. “Oh well, busy with the move,” I thought. Then she invited me to a going-away barbeque. I was working day shift at the time, and told her I’d come over after work. I get off early, and text her asking if they’ve started yet, and all I get back is “Hey so I decided to actually go up today. Really sorry.” I was confused, and a little angry. But still being naive back then, I gave the benefit of the doubt. We texted a bit, and then a week later, BAM. Facebook status changes to in a relationship. I look at who she’s in a relationship with, and it’s some 34 year old man. Suddenly the trips she made before the move made sense.

 

Moreso it wasn’t my experiences with women that sent me down the path of MGTOW. Let’s face it, I lost no money or anything of value over this, unlike so many unfortunate other guys have. For me, it was more watching it happen to other people I care about. My cousin for instance, was the definition of “a ladies man”, who had his heart broken by the one girl he tried to settle down with. Years later, he starts dating another woman, this one with a kid from a previous marriage, who is an emotional, controlling psycho. He goes out with his friends and is bombarded with “WHERE ARE YOU” texts, and yet she goes out on a whim with one of her male “friends” and he’s supposed to just accept it. They break up, and about a year later she shoes up with another kid and claims it’s his. He raises the kid, along with his new wife, and old girlfiend is out of the picture completely. I didn’t ask if he got a pat test to see if it’s really his, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t.

 

Anyway, enough rambling. I suppose I should save the rest of my experiences for making other posts around here 😉

 

So, I guess all that’s left to say is this:

 

Permission to come aboard?

[IvanenParticipant 6]

Welcome aboard, MGTOW!

Thank you for sharing your story. Although everyone has a different story to tell, I usually can see many points that I can identify with, and I think many other MGTOW can as well. While you may be going your own way, remember you are not alone in your journey.

Come on in, look around, make yourself at home, and leave the seat UP.

Excelsior!

Esse Quam Videri

[Tbowden1Participant 195]

Permission Granted! (as if I have some sort of authority.. hahaha)

I find it relate-able to be in a situation where I never got stuck into anything serious enough to ruin my life.. In my younger years I wasted some money on promise rings and dinners… but I feel, like you, I have escaped with only a few scratches. Much my MGTOW point of view has blossomed due to watching those around me. Why would I want to put myself through that type if s~~~?

Welcome aboard man! I find this board to be the exact dose of medication I need to keep me motivated and aware of the bulls~~~ we deal with on a daily basis with women. I hope you see it the same way!

[VileNordParticipant 766]

@Hammerdown
Welcome! Welcome Brother!

My story to MGTOW is not unlike yours, somewhat vanilla and lacking explicit drama. However, we are not lesser men because of this. Let us celebrate the fact that we have seen beyond the veil of feminine mystique and revel in the power that this knowledge affords us! Cheers!

Lust for comfort suffocates the soul

[HammerdownParticipant 528]

Thanks! It’s sort of bittersweet that out own horrible experiences have brought us together like this.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Granted! Welcome Hammer. Lol-ed how you put “success” (with women) in quotes.

You may be too hard on yourself. But that’s what men tend to do. We accept responsibility even for HER mistakes. Women will even expect you to do this. But you may find a tremendous weight will lift from your shoulders when you reflect on HER actions and behavior as not your problem, or none of your wrong-doing.

Too often, guys will think “if I just responded to this s~~~ test another way”…. or “if I only waited 3 hours to respond to my texts, she wouldn’t have thought me needy” … she would have stuck around, or never left. But we have to stop doing it. We all accept FAR too much blame for little screw-ups and punish ourselves for it. Men will even ask a girl out and refer to a simple “no thanks” from her as:

“DUDE YOU TOTALLY CRASHED AND BURNED, MAN!!!”

Thinking we “crashed and burned” because some chick said no, or just didn’t want to go out with you, or moved to Kelowna, or didn’t want to f~~~, or din’t want to marry is totally silly. And we think a break up is OUR fault and we should have done more or worked harder. Even when a woman is a f~~~ing useless disaster, when a guy LEAVES her she doesn’t think “f~~~ I was a total bitch to him. I lost a great guy.”… she talks s~~~ about HIM. Like he’s some kind of an asshole.

As men, we gotta stop thinking s~~~ is our fault as much as we do.

I blamed myself for s~~~ I never should have! NO. it was HER fault she’s a crazy bitch.
End of story. Weight lifted. Done. Working harder to make it WORK?? What the f~~~ was I thinking?

Pleasure to welcome you.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[HammerdownParticipant 528]

Oh man, I totally understand the thing about s~~~ tests. Talking to women for me sometimes feels like defusing a bomb. You have no clear line of sight on what you’re doing, and if you do things too quickly, or differently, or in the wrong order the whole thing will explode in front of you.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Throw that s~~~ away! Stop feeling like “OMG if I don’t say the right thing it’s all gonna explode”. We put WAY too much pressure on ourselves. But there is no trick to talking to women. She’s just a woman. Not a dentists chair.

Think of a man, and take away reason….. and accountability.
Then you’ll know how to talk to a woman.

Funny you mention s~~~ tests. Just writing a big piece about that. Do you have any S~~~ tests that you remember and would like to share? Or a few s~~~ tests you didn’t know how to respond to? Maybe we will work it into the article. Please let me know if you think of one or three.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[HammerdownParticipant 528]

Not sure if this counts, but back around the time she left for Kelowna, I went on a date with another girl, who straight up asked me what kind of car I drive. At the time, I didn’t; I only had a learner’s permit. (Before anyone laughs, I didn’t feel I was emotionally mature enough to be behind the wheel of two tons of motorized metal. Since then I have since gotten my full licence and bought a car with my own money and even have training operating trucks and heavy equipment. Funny what you can do when you put your mind to it, eh?) I told her I didn’t drive and she looked at me like a chestburster from Alien just exploded out of my stomach.

 

Her: You don’t drive?
Me: No. I’m not that good a driver, and I was in a bad car accident when I was a kid (I showed her the prominent scar I still have from it), and I have a bit of apprehension about it, especially in this city (Vancouver drivers are notoriously bad). Besides, this city is incredibly well connected by public transit. As well, insurance costs for someone my age are astronomical in this province. I’d rather save the money.

At that point she gave me what I call the quintessential woman response to rational or original thought:

 

“Oh…”

 

A trailing off “oh…”, essentially just audible confirmation she was still alive. I asked what she drives and she showed me: an old beat up Ford Tempo. The inside was filthy and full of plastic bags and various other stuff. She made a few more comments about me not driving, as if her rust bucket made her superior to me. Didn’t know how to change a tire, drive standard or check fluid levels (things I learned how to do by myself over the years) and didn’t ACTUALLY KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A 4 CYLINDER AND 6 CYLINDER ENGINE. The clue is in the name, genius.

 

At one point she said that me not driving means I was less “independent” and couldn’t get around as easier. Telling her that I knew how to get anywhere in the lower mainland due to my knowledge of the transit web, and the fact that I had taken multiple trips to Britain and the States that I paid for myself by saving money (helped by not having to pay astronomical insurance costs) and working hard warranted another “Oh…”

 

How’s that for a s~~~ test?

[Author]

Posts