Paying for a daughter's wedding

[narwhalParticipant]

My daughter is only 8, so it’s not really something I’m concerned about right now.  However, I was thinking about potential ‘obligatory’ expenses I may have still remaining in my life.  Being asked to pay for a potential wedding for my daughter is one of them.    I really don’t want to throw money away like that, so I was wondering how I could approach this.  Here’s 3 ideas.

1 – Simply don’t do it. Claim equality and such and get others to pay for it…or have a cheap wedding.  This is likely to turn me into a villain, which I’d really rather not do.

2 – Go for destination weddings only. I’ve been to one of these before and had a blast.  Cost wise, it’s likely to be cheaper (everyone pays their own flight and rooms).  The more of what your spending money on is more a week long party then just a wedding anyway.  I can live with that.

3 – Provide an incentive program instead of a wedding.  Tell my daughter she has 3 options.  First, call off the wedding now and get an immediate cash payout from me.  Second, get married (without me paying) and stay married for 10 years.  Get the cash payout plus interest.  Third, get married (without me paying), get divorced within 10 years, you get nothing.

The 3rd option needs some fine tuning, but the idea is to encourage either staying single, or stay married…no screwing up yours and his life because you got bored or whatever.

Ok. Then do it.

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

She can get married at city hall then have sort of fake wedding at a hall. You can do it pretty cheap and you can even have a pastor to do the ceremony. She sister eloped to get married and just did the ceremony in Toronto where most of my family lives. Depending on the number of people you can do it easily for a few grand.

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[RedHeadedStrangerParticipant 204]

here’s hoping she finds a man who she loves sooo much that she would never allow him to marry.~

[MgtowWaveParticipant 4352]

Women always put expectations  of expenses  on men.Could it be that their parents teach this to them.?

In Iran fathers are expected to pay everything for their single daughters till they are married.

8 yrs old is a good age to be teaching children personal responsibility.

“Nothing is free little Johnny and Jackie. ”

I remember seeing as a teenager girls having their fathers wrapped around their fingers. How do you think that affects their future relationships?

Traditional expectations on men are null and void now.

Women want their equality and want at the same time all of the old traditional expectations.They want to have their cake and eat it too.

I hope everyone gets the gist  of what I am saying. The root of a lot of problems start in the home.

Some day women will wonder why men have Gone Their Own Way

 

frankly my dear i don't give a damn

[Quiet ThomParticipant 116]

Whatever idea you believe is best for you, start beating that drum now and often. That way, she’ll know what to expect. I did not pay for my daughter’s wedding. She knew this because I had always told her that, while I was willing to help a bit, I wouldn’t go into any debt for “her” one special day. Plus, I told her that any one that would spend tens of thousands of dollars for one day is an imbecile. Be frugal and take the money you would have thrown away for the wedding and pay down any debt you have, put a down payment on a house, or whatever. To her credit, she listened to me. For the record, I still think marriage sucks.

[RoyDalParticipant]

My cousins threw a wedding for their daughter. It cost enough to cover the down payment on a nice house with enough left over to send the happy couple to Hawaii for their honeymoon. They blew it on a party instead.

BTW, they blew up at me when I brought this up. Silly me, I should have expected that.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

With the way the marriage rate is tanking (and accelerating downward), I personally wouldn’t worry about it too much.

[narwhalParticipant]

Not worried about, just idle thinking and a bit of planning ahead.  And yes, I know it can be done cheap, but the idea is to find a way to clearly look out for her interest and happiness and not look like a cheap villain.

As for mentally preparing her, I have been pushing her to start taking more and more care of her own needs (my boy too).  That and trying to think about situations logically instead of just whatever the societal norm is.  That feels like such an up hill battle given all the crap they are feed at school (and some at their mom’s too).

Ok. Then do it.

[Lazarus LongParticipant 365]

I definitely support option number 3. This is very similar to how Zappos does hiring for their call center. At each step they offer increasing cash payments to not work there. It is designed to weed out those that are just looking to work long enough to get back on unemployment etc.

Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one's self. -Terry Goodkind

[narwhalParticipant]

They pay cash for you to NOT work there?  I’m not following this.

My company provides phantom stock as part of the yearly bonus.  You get 25% in 1 year, 25% the next year, and so on for 4 years.  Basically, they provide incentive to stay…guaranteed pay instead of the ‘promise’ of a promotion.  Of course, I can leave anytime, but I’d be throwing away money.

Ok. Then do it.

[FitzBonesParticipant 304]

My sister is getting married at the end of the year, shes insisting on a backyard wedding and doesnt subscribe to the standard wedding tripe of spending thousands of dollars on one day and one piece of paper worth less than a s~~~. Instead all she asked from her fiance is an expensive ring; ostensibly so that if they ever get into dire straits she could sell it to keep them afloat.. that and she wants it to show off etc. but at least she admits that last part and honestly doesnt EXPECT anything. Shes not a NAWALT but shes a fair human being.

"If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run,"

[Executor MaxwellParticipant 591]

I’d say avoid option 3.
The planning of corporate methodology aside (Which is being built on different objectives) it’s just an incentive to her to hold out 10 years and then blow the marriage. See women do it all the time to fulfill a prenup clause, or more commonly to fulfill state law requirements to be awarded life time alimony.

[SauronHimselfParticipant 4]

[J.D SilvernailParticipant 383]

This might not help much, but I would give her boyfriend a MGTOW flyer and tell him to visit http://www.mgtow.com before getting married. I would also ask your daughter to at least consider WGTOW or feminism. Before critisizing me remember feminazis make us want to go our own way. They treated us like dirt so they reap what they sow.

I'm married to the game,but she broke her vows.

[mgtow_85Participant 752]

FitzBones wrote:

My sister is getting married at the end of the year, shes insisting on a backyard wedding and doesnt subscribe to the standard wedding tripe of spending thousands of dollars on one day and one piece of paper worth less than a s~~~. Instead all she asked from her fiance is an expensive ring; ostensibly so that if they ever get into dire straits she could sell it to keep them afloat.. that and she wants it to show off etc. but at least she admits that last part and honestly doesnt EXPECT anything. Shes not a NAWALT but shes a fair human being.

When my sister got married, she did it pretty fairly as well. She’s no NAWALT either, as I’ve had to live with her for a couple of years because she needed my help paying the rent, so she’s kind of a wacko, but I really had to hand it to her for this.

Her boyfriend bought her a $300 engagement ring. She happily accepted the ring, and hey, it was HIS decision to purchase it because she never took him shopping around for whatever ring she wanted or preferred. He simply saw a ring that she might like and decided to buy it, and he didn’t go broke or have to make payments on it.

Their ENTIRE wedding consisted of driving from Utah to our dad’s house in California, where my dad, a nondenominational priest, did the ceremony. It was a nice ceremony too, and I even filmed it on my phone. Family only. There were only 15 people there, and my 5 young nieces and nephews made up one-third of the entire audience.

After the ceremony, my dad signed the marriage license certificate(ah, yes, a marriage contract. How romantic. LOL)and we all drove back to Utah to hold the reception where the rest of the family members who couldn’t make the drive and the friends, etc. attended . Guess what the reception was? A reservation for a covered picnic table spot at a state park in the mountains, where we had a barbecue. Hamburgers and hot dogs mostly, and fruit punch with actual fruit in it. Maybe 50 or 60 people attended altogether, and the party lasted 2 hours.

It wasn’t easy having my sister as a roommate. We had our fights, and she’d get p~~~ed at me for bringing home hamburgers and not offering her one on one day, accusing me of “being selfish and not thinking of her”, and then getting mad at me the next week for offering her fast food because she’s “on a diet”. But I really had to hand it to her. This is her “dream wedding”, and not including the cost of gas it took to go to California and back, her entire wedding cost less than $500 and the ring only cost $300. I was pretty impressed with how they were watching their financial funds because they were planning on buying a house together, instead of having a 4-hour wedding that costs more than the entire damn house.

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